People Share Their Best, 'I've Been Nice My Whole Life, Now I'm Gonna Be Bad' Story
Some people stick to the straight and narrow their whole lives. Then they realize they never really let loose––truly let loose––and had fun. Some people work a horrible job for ages until the day they quit in a blaze of glory. Others simply got their revenge.
After Redditor dudebrostien asked the online community, "What is your best 'F*** it, I've been a nice person my whole life, now I'm going to do something bad' story?" people bared it all and we are living for every minute of it.
"After two years..."
After two years of working somewhere and getting treated like sh!t, I didn't get a permanent contract and called in sick on my last day, because I hated that job. I had only called in sick once before for one day. After that they still said I had to come to work, so I just said sure I'll come and just didn't show up. That day off felt really good.
"Didn't get along well..."
Didn't get along with an old roommate because she moved her boyfriend and dog in. She was generally very messy. He didn't pay rent and her dog was a liquid sh!t machine. Her dog ruined my lovesac. I asked her to repay me for it and have her boyfriend leave and instead of repaying me she stole items I kept in all common rooms to spite me. Snitched to my landlord and got her evicted. Also pissed in her shampoo bottle.
"I was so mad that night..."
Someone smashed the pumpkin I had on my front porch for Halloween. I was so mad that night I took an old purse and shit in it. I then put it on the same step my pumpkin was, then hid in my room and watched out the window. I don't know if it was the same kid that smashed my pumpkin that later tried to steal the purse but the happiness I took from that moment of a kid reaching his hand in the purse while he was walking away to steal the money more than made up for the anger of a smashed pumpkin.
"I was a teen..."
I was a teen and found $1000 in an ATM. This was one of those ATMs that had a place where the money would drop to. This was the early 90s - I don't think they just drop it anymore - they all retract back into the machine if you don't take it. But during this time, that technology didn't exist.
I went to the bank to return the money. I was sick of this bank (I was an American expat in Singapore who needed a bank account, long boring story, but wanted to explain why a teen hated a bank). Anyway, I had to always wait in line, never enough tellers, people were pretty rude, etc. This bank sucked.
After waiting for 15 minutes, with one teller and the line still 10 deep, I said to myself, "F*** it, I came to return this money, I tried to be honest, but they are making it impossible for me."
I went and bought a stereo. It was alright.
"Suffice to say..."
Perfect attendance from kindergarten all the way to senior year in high school, until a girl asked me to ditch one hour with her. Suffice to say, that cost me an award.
"It was glorious."
When I was a teen I had a boyfriend. He was older, I then thought it was cool, but it really was just creepy.
I was super loyal to him, and he gaslighted me constantly, manipulated and lied to me. We had mutual friends and they sent me some pictures of him cheating with other girls at a party he lied about attending.
I arranged a meet-up at my place. Pretended all was fine. He lived quite far away, so he traveled for hours to meet me. As soon as he arrived at my doorstep, I curtly confronted him about his lies, broke up with him and sent him on his looong way back home. Took less than 5 minutes total.
Never treated anyone like that before or after. It was glorious.
"Fast forward 24 hours..."
I used to work in retail. One night a customer asked me when a jacket would be discounted. I told her that I couldn't say for sure because we weren't told when certain items would be reduced in price. She called me a dumb b!tch and an idiot and asked me to put it on hold for 24 hours in case it got discounted over night . I think it's also worth noting that she claimed to be an Instagram Influencer with over 5000 followers and she said she lose "deals" if she didn't get the jacket. Also she was racist toward the stores security guard, who happens to be one of the kindest people I've eve met.
I put the jacket aside for her but not before doing a system search and finding out that there were only three left in this size in the entire country (as you may have guessed from my username In live in New Zealand, so not a particularly big country).
Fast forward 24 hours and she hasn't come to pick up the jacket so even though it was a few sizes too big I brought it ( I saw her doing a Karen and demanding to speak to the manager as I was going through the self check out). Once I got to the car went online and brought the other jacket before driving tobthr other side of town and buying the third and last one in the country (it was near the end of the season so chances are there weren't going to be any more).
The whole thing cost more money than I would've liked, but I stopped a Karen from getting her way for once so I don't regret it.
"I got bullied..."
I got bullied a lot in high school. In particular my maths class, because I'm simply weak with numbers so I was in the lowest capability class with mostly kids who just didn't want to try because it wasn't cool.
Whenever we used calculators, our saint of a teacher would get a huge box of them out and we'd go up to the front and grab one. We were supposed to put them back at the end as we were leaving, but most of them just gave their calculators to me to put back as opposed to taking 3 extra steps to do it.
I've just finished doing my unofficial job as Keeper of Calculators and I'm grabbing my bag to leave. This guy comes back in and says "forgot this, put it back OP", handing me his calculator. No please. Not even 5 seconds of eye contact. Just the order and assumption.
Something in me broke and I picked it up and heaved it at the guys head. It hits mid chest. This was coupled with a firm and simple "no" in a raised voice. I then realise what I've done and sheepishly turn to my saint of a teacher.
This man has watched this class bully me for a long time now. Watched me not respond to it. Let me sit in the back with headphones in as long as the work's done so I can try and improve my damn grade in peace.
This angel of a teacher looks at me, and in one fluid motion winks, and tilts his head at the door telling me to get gone before sh!t erupts. He knows I don't throw things at people and probably never would again.
I never did. I kept putting the calculators away at the end though.
"Before I even processed..."
In high school, my friends and I would hang out over by the bleachers of one of the baseball fields, pretty far from the quad and most of the other kids. We were sitting in a circle on the grass just talking, and some freshmen we didn't know started chasing each other around and almost kicked our stuff a few times.
My friend said nicely "hey, can you please be careful?" and one of the kids sneered at her and said "why? Like your fat @ss could catch me." (She was a bigger girl).
Before I even processed my own reaction, I immediately stood up and sucker punched him in the side of the head. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and started yelling. He ran over to his other friends, one of whom was apparently his older brother, trying to get them to come beat me up. But the brother just shrugged and said "you were being a d!ck, you deserved it."
My friend was grateful for "defending her honor" and the kid I punched never bothered us again.
"I was shopping..."
I had never stolen from a store ever before in my life.
A few months ago, when this pandemic shit was first hitting the fan, I lost both of my jobs pretty quickly. I am also at a slightly higher risk of dying from COVID than the normal population, so I was scared to look for a new job due to the risk of infection.
I was shopping at Walmart, got a bunch of things, and were ringing them up at self checkout. Every time I scanned something, I knew that was less money in my account. Less money towards rent, less money towards future groceries, less money towards emergencies. With every item, I grew more anxious. At the end, all that was left was one of those big things of instant noodle ramen packages, cost maybe 3 bucks.
Instead of scanning it, I just left it in the cart, paid for the rest, and left without being stopped. Even though it wasn't much money, I figured every dollar counted, and was too stressed to want to shoplift anything that cost more for fear of being caught.
"I always think..."
Kind of not related but still related. I always think that if I do these things people are gonna notice and completely change their views on me so I never end up doing those things.
I'm pretty reserved. Did football my freshman year of high school, but dropped it by sophomore year, because reserved people tend not to succeed there. We went to a pizza buffet after a game or something and while I was walking back to the dining area with my last slice another kid smacked the plate outta my hands and the pizza fell on the floor. Kid was laughing, I picked it up and threw it right into his face point blank. He got really worked up about getting acne from the pizza grease. It was really cathartic.
"In 7th grade..."
In 7th grade there was this one kid who tormented me for the whole year. He hit me, stole my stuff. He even cut my hand with scissors and when I brought it up later with my other classmates they said it was my fault. One recess I went over to him, and punched him in the face. I was honestly expecting him to block it. Felt good.
"Anyway, I legit forgot..."
This is a pretty weak story in comparison to some, but I've been a goody-goody most of my life. Always told the truth, can't keep secrets, always followed the rules... that kind of kid. I was a people pleaser. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to try a weed gummy. My sister got some from her dealer. She gave me half of one; I took it and forgot about it. Fast forward like an hour later, I'm in the middle of ordering a pizza for dinner. Suddenly, my mind starts going haywire. Seeing and thinking things unprompted, completely out of my control. I found it funny at first, but it quickly became scary as fuck. I was having trouble articulating and talking, because everything was moving out of order.
Anyway, I legit forgot about the gummy so I told my dad that I thought I was dying, or having a stroke or something. I ended up going to the ER. That was the most embarrassing moment I've ever had, lol. My 'seen for marijuana use' papers sat on the fridge for weeks after because everyone thought it was hilarious. My mom wasn't too mad, since the (worthless) trip ended up allowing her to meet her deductible for the year. I've definitely sworn off gummies, though. My time of rebellion was short lived.
"I was always..."
I was always a super quiet kid in school and very studious and I prided myself on my academic ability. My school was a zoo, so I made it a point to be very respectful to my teachers since they had to deal with a lot of shit. In 6th grade I had this one teacher who grew up with an abusive parent, and sometimes she would take out her demons on some of the kids in class.
There was this one particular boy who was super tall and large for his age; she would always insinuate he was dumb and lazy, when he was really just a harmless gentle giant. We had a group project together and after presenting it she made some comment about him "probably contributing nothing and him being worthless just like her father" and I lost it.
I immediately defended him, said he pulled his weight. She just doubled down. I accused her of being abusive and bullying an innocent kid, and she accused me of being a disrespectful and told me to get the hell of her classroom. On my way out I asked her "you want to see disrespectful?" and knocked her shit off her desk. It was so satisfying.
I later found out that she bragged to her next three classes that she was going to fail me for the year for what I did. It was embarrassing because kids in those classes started gossiping about it to everyone. During lunch another teacher came up to me and told me I should apologize, even if it was just to save my grades. But I didn't budge, my little kid brain told me to never apologize when you're right, circumstances be damned.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
For closeted individuals, coming out is a rite of passage in life that LGBTQ+ people never signed up for.
Why is it that anyone who inherently identifies a certain way has to explain themselves to those who are confused and unwavering in their socialized ignorance?
Times have changed and while there have been advances made for LGBTQ+ people to find more acceptance and feel less like an "other," there are still many challenges to overcome.
Even with gay role models prevalent in pop culture, it can still be difficult for gay youth today to come out to a parent who chooses to live in the past and align themselves to antiquated ideals in society that prevents them from loving their child as they are.
But sometimes, the response after opening up to a parent in a vulnerable moment can prove that unconditional love is the best thing in the entire world.
Curious to hear about positive responses, Redditor Expert_Recover3061 asked:
"What's the best response to 'Dad, I think I'm gay'?"
Even those who aren't fathers can give the best response.
"In the 90s, when my girlfriend finally told her traditional Italian mom and grandma at 19, they sighed in unison and grandma said, 'oh thank baby Jesus, I was worried that I was going to have to tell you.'"
What Gran Said
“'I thought you were about to give me bad news! Don’t scare me like that!' - My granny when my uncle came out (in the ‘70’s!). She was decades ahead of her time…"
They're still parents.
The Rules Don't Change
"You still have to wear a condom."
Not The Only Outcome
"Pregnancy isn't the only STD."
Bracing For The Worst
"This was my literal response when my brother came out to me. He’d called me and said he had something urgent to tell me and it had to be face to face. I was a bus journey away and started to panic so I made him tell me over the phone."
“'I’m gay.' 'I know that! I thought someone had DIED.'"
"When I came out to my dad when I was 16 I thought he would disown me. He said: 'Son, If anyone ever hurts you for that, I’ll f'king kill them'. In that moment I realized that I had the best dad in the world."
These reactions raised eyebrows.
“'So that’s why you don’t like mushrooms'. At least that’s what my friends dad said to him when he came out. We still don’t know what he meant by that."
"One of my friends from high school was gay, and when he came out to his family his Dad literally didn’t look up from his newspaper & told him his sister didn’t need to tell him she was straight so why would he need to explain that he was gay? He’s known him his whole life and already knew that."
"It was cute because he was so worried."
These Redditors realized they had nothing to fear.
Cheers To That
"Well... My dad said 'I know... And I don't care. As long as you are happy, I'm also happy for you.' And then asked me if I wanted a beer or scotch to celebrate that I finally had the confidence to tell him."
The Best Parents
"Our son came out to us a month ago. We already suspected, so it wasn't a shock."
"When he told me I thanked him for telling me, told him that I loved him, then explained that who he wants to tell next and how he wants to tell them is 100% his choice and we will support him however he wants and needs. He gave us a list of people to tell, and by the end of the week he wanted everyone to know."
"Love and acknowledgement and support."
Most parents these days aren't given enough credit for being understanding–and also having good instincts about their closeted children–as the fear of being disowned weighs heavily on the mind of individuals who are apprehensive about coming out.
A friend of mine told me her 19-year-old son came out to her and her husband. They already suspected and were waiting on him to come out on his terms when he was ready.
Her husband had the best response.
"Son, I just hope I get to have the first dance with you at the wedding."
Everyone loves a good mystery or ghost story, particularly one with a massive twist regarding one of the main characters.
But surely, stories like this never happen in real life?
Such as finding yourself stuck on the side of the road, when a guardian angel of sorts comes and helps you, seemingly out of nowhere, then disappears just as mysteriously.
Or getting a call warning you about something which sounds far-fetched, then happens three weeks later?
Surely, these are the types of situations only found in the work of Shirley Jackson or Edgar Allen Poe.
Or are they?
"What's the most mysterious thing happened in your life that you can't find any explanation for?"
Mom Acting Weird
"My mum is a type 1 diabetic, has been since she was 11 years of age."
"When me and my little brother were very young, I was about 7 and he was 5 , I came into my mum's room to find she was acting extremely strange."
"She looked almost drunk, and wasn’t really responsive."
"I went to pick up her insulin needles to see if she would react to that and she didn’t."
"So I panicked and phoned my Nan who told me to put the phone down and dial 999."
"For some reason I was so frightened and confused I didn’t, and sent my little brother outside to get help while I tried to get my mum to respond to me."
"My brother came back in crying saying he couldn’t find anyone and then about five minuets later this woman just walked into my mum's bedroom, called me by my name, and my brothers, said she knew my mum and help is coming, she was calm, soft-spoken and had a warm feeling about her."
"I didn’t recognize this woman and neither did my brother."
"Shortly after the ambulance arrived and got my mum's sugar levels back up."
"And when I went to find the woman, she was gone."
"Like literally gone."
"When my mum came round I explained to her about this mysterious woman and what she looked like."
"And my mum had absolutely no idea who she was, and we never saw her again."
"If she didn’t help us my mum would have died eventually."
"Still gives me shivers now."- leeshouse90Portrait Of A Lady On Fire Neon Rated GIF by NEONGiphy
Psychic, or lucky?
"When I was around 18 a friend and I were traveling in Europe."
"We were walking along a pleasant, quiet street in Rome one day and saw an elderly homeless man sitting on the street."
"He said to us if he could guess our date of birth could we give him some money?"
"Of course we said ok."
"He did it! "
"He told us both our correct dates of birth!"
"Never met him before and never saw him again."- robertodurian
Some Unfinished Work, Maybe?
"I was at my mother in law's flat in Hungary."
"Fyi I don't speak Hungarian, so I couldn't be aware of any of this."
"I tend to go to bed later that my wife, and for the first couple of nights, I had trouble falling asleep because around midnight I could hear the neighbor upstairs."
"It's an old block of flats made under the communist era, walls are incredibly thin."
"Walk in high heels, which was very annoying."
"I could also hear little objects fall on the floor, and I told my wife it sounded like the plastic buttons you have on some clothes."
"She looked at me funny and told me her niece hated to sleep in that room because she was scared by the noises coming from upstairs."
"I said that was a bit exaggerated, and I thought it was until my wife told me the flat upstairs had been empty for the past at least 4 years."
"Neighbor died years before that, and guess what?"
"She was a tailor, always nicely dressed and wearing high heels."- mimzouHigh Heels Shoes GIF by Real Housewives Of CheshireGiphy
Gone Without A Trace
"When I was a kid, I participated in Big Brothers Big Sisters, which if you don't know what that is it's pretty much just a mentorship program in the US."
"I basically just hung out with this dude Chris for a couple hours a week."
"We'd go to the movies, out to eat, he'd help me with my homework, that kinda thing."
"One day, he tells me that he's going to Baltimore for a couple weeks and when I should expect him back."
"The day rolls around and I give him a call to see if he's back yet."
"A man whose voice I didn't recognize answered and I asked if Chris was there."
"He said no."
"I asked him when Chris would be back just kinda thinking it was someone staying at his house or watching his dogs or something."
"But he said that I had the wrong number, that he and his wife had lived there for years, and there was never a Chris there."
"I double checked in the phonebook to see if it was the right number which it was because I had it circled."
"I was confused so I just said sorry and hung up, and I never heard from Chris ever again."- theautomemoriesdoll
A Clever Distraction?
"When I was 10 or so I was staying at my grandma's over the summer break and we were having breakfast."
"We barely started eating when the phone rang."
"She left the dining room and I followed her thinking that maybe they were my parents calling."
"When we returned most of the food was gone."
"She asked me if I ate while she was on the phone and I said 'no'."
"There was no one else home and there were no pets."
"My grandma just shook it off saying we might have eaten more than she remembered but I am absolutely positive that I had at most two bites of my toast by the time the phone rang."- queenliz2frHungry Good Morning GIF by HBO MaxGiphy
"Every month around the 5th I get a letter with exactly 23 dollars."
"No note, no return address."
"I’ve asked family, relatives, friends, the two past occupants of this apartment."
"Nobody knows anything about it."
"It is not addressed to me, but to my unique postal address."
"The total is now exactly 1886, I have just stashed it all in a box."
"I do not want to spend it in case it is cursed."- Puzzleheaded_Ad928
A Comforting Sign
"My grandmother always loved roses and had them growing in her back yard."
"She died in a December and when we were gathered at her house for the funeral my father happened to look out the back window and saw a bright red rose had blossomed."
"It stood out brightly against the snow."
"He brought it in and put it in a vase on the kitchen table."
"We all left for the funeral and when we came back the rose was on the living room floor."
"No one had been in the house while we were gone."
"My father is the most hard-headed person alive but he was convinced it was his mothers way of telling him she was all right."- regular6drunk7
"We have a built in wardrobe in our bedroom."
"About a month ago our cat had managed to get herself inside and I must have closed the door."
"I heard her meowing and I opened the door and she jumped out and walked off."
"I closed the wardrobe door."
"Less than five minutes later I hear a meow in the wardrobe, I open the door and to my surprise, our cat jumps out again and walks off."
"My partner and I were both stunned as there is no way into the wardrobe with the doors closed."
"Neither of us have any idea how this happened."- TorthOrcCat Jumping GIFGiphy
"I had just picked up a coworker from her house heading to work.'
"We are just talking and chatting, "how'd your weekend go" type of stuff."
"We are maybe 5 miles away from her house, when all of a sudden, we realize we are in town pulling into works parking lot."
"We both kinda look at each other not sure what happened."
"We had gone near 20 miles in a blink of an eye."
"And what cemented this experience as something that I actually happened, and not just simply losing track of time, IS THE TIME!"
"It should have taken us almost half an hour to get to work."
"Instead the time from when I picked her up was 2:30."
"And the time when we got to the building was 2:40."
"There is no way in HELL!"
"We couldn't have gotten there that fast."
"From that point on we both called that experience the time when we Jumped, like from the movie Jumper."
"I have no explanation why."
"I'll also state, I don't believe in the paranormal or supernatural."
"So this experience is one of those things that makes me question my own sanity."- belac4862car dark GIFGiphy
There must be an explanation for these circumstances...
Even if it's not an explanation that will make any sense, otherworldly or not.
We've all made clumsy mistakes that we know could have been avoided had we used a little bit more good judgment and common sense.
Thankfully, these silly mistakes don't usually harm others or ourselves.
This is why it's hard to see people knowingly perform reckless or dangerous activities which they know might have serious consequences.
While we don't usually wish these people ill, we also have a hard time feeling bad for them, as they knew what they were getting themselves in for.
As some people might say, they "f*cked around and found out" or "play stupid games, win stupid prizes."
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiraclecave GIFGiphy
Never Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Redditepisode 2 boxing GIF by Archie ComicsGiphy
Sharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124Jack Nicholson Hair GIF by MOODMANGiphy
They Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatuscaesar GIFGiphy
No One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...
Being horny can lead to some questionable decision-making.
Something happens to the brain when blood is flowing to other regions of the body.
They should discuss this in health class.
It's perfectly normal, but we have to learn how to deal.
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History HelpHide Reaction GIF by florGiphy
"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
In San DiegoNo Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy
"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The RewardHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
I'm OutChris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.