Some people stick to the straight and narrow their whole lives. Then they realize they never really let loose––truly let loose––and had fun. Some people work a horrible job for ages until the day they quit in a blaze of glory. Others simply got their revenge.
After Redditor dudebrostien asked the online community, "What is your best 'F*** it, I've been a nice person my whole life, now I'm going to do something bad' story?" people bared it all and we are living for every minute of it.
"After two years..."
After two years of working somewhere and getting treated like sh!t, I didn't get a permanent contract and called in sick on my last day, because I hated that job. I had only called in sick once before for one day. After that they still said I had to come to work, so I just said sure I'll come and just didn't show up. That day off felt really good.
"Didn't get along well..."
Didn't get along with an old roommate because she moved her boyfriend and dog in. She was generally very messy. He didn't pay rent and her dog was a liquid sh!t machine. Her dog ruined my lovesac. I asked her to repay me for it and have her boyfriend leave and instead of repaying me she stole items I kept in all common rooms to spite me. Snitched to my landlord and got her evicted. Also pissed in her shampoo bottle.
"I was so mad that night..."
Someone smashed the pumpkin I had on my front porch for Halloween. I was so mad that night I took an old purse and shit in it. I then put it on the same step my pumpkin was, then hid in my room and watched out the window. I don't know if it was the same kid that smashed my pumpkin that later tried to steal the purse but the happiness I took from that moment of a kid reaching his hand in the purse while he was walking away to steal the money more than made up for the anger of a smashed pumpkin.
"I was a teen..."
I was a teen and found $1000 in an ATM. This was one of those ATMs that had a place where the money would drop to. This was the early 90s - I don't think they just drop it anymore - they all retract back into the machine if you don't take it. But during this time, that technology didn't exist.
I went to the bank to return the money. I was sick of this bank (I was an American expat in Singapore who needed a bank account, long boring story, but wanted to explain why a teen hated a bank). Anyway, I had to always wait in line, never enough tellers, people were pretty rude, etc. This bank sucked.
After waiting for 15 minutes, with one teller and the line still 10 deep, I said to myself, "F*** it, I came to return this money, I tried to be honest, but they are making it impossible for me."
I went and bought a stereo. It was alright.
"Suffice to say..."
Perfect attendance from kindergarten all the way to senior year in high school, until a girl asked me to ditch one hour with her. Suffice to say, that cost me an award.
"It was glorious."
When I was a teen I had a boyfriend. He was older, I then thought it was cool, but it really was just creepy.
I was super loyal to him, and he gaslighted me constantly, manipulated and lied to me. We had mutual friends and they sent me some pictures of him cheating with other girls at a party he lied about attending.
I arranged a meet-up at my place. Pretended all was fine. He lived quite far away, so he traveled for hours to meet me. As soon as he arrived at my doorstep, I curtly confronted him about his lies, broke up with him and sent him on his looong way back home. Took less than 5 minutes total.
Never treated anyone like that before or after. It was glorious.
"Fast forward 24 hours..."
I used to work in retail. One night a customer asked me when a jacket would be discounted. I told her that I couldn't say for sure because we weren't told when certain items would be reduced in price. She called me a dumb b!tch and an idiot and asked me to put it on hold for 24 hours in case it got discounted over night . I think it's also worth noting that she claimed to be an Instagram Influencer with over 5000 followers and she said she lose "deals" if she didn't get the jacket. Also she was racist toward the stores security guard, who happens to be one of the kindest people I've eve met.
I put the jacket aside for her but not before doing a system search and finding out that there were only three left in this size in the entire country (as you may have guessed from my username In live in New Zealand, so not a particularly big country).
Fast forward 24 hours and she hasn't come to pick up the jacket so even though it was a few sizes too big I brought it ( I saw her doing a Karen and demanding to speak to the manager as I was going through the self check out). Once I got to the car went online and brought the other jacket before driving tobthr other side of town and buying the third and last one in the country (it was near the end of the season so chances are there weren't going to be any more).
The whole thing cost more money than I would've liked, but I stopped a Karen from getting her way for once so I don't regret it.
"I got bullied..."
I got bullied a lot in high school. In particular my maths class, because I'm simply weak with numbers so I was in the lowest capability class with mostly kids who just didn't want to try because it wasn't cool.
Whenever we used calculators, our saint of a teacher would get a huge box of them out and we'd go up to the front and grab one. We were supposed to put them back at the end as we were leaving, but most of them just gave their calculators to me to put back as opposed to taking 3 extra steps to do it.
I've just finished doing my unofficial job as Keeper of Calculators and I'm grabbing my bag to leave. This guy comes back in and says "forgot this, put it back OP", handing me his calculator. No please. Not even 5 seconds of eye contact. Just the order and assumption.
Something in me broke and I picked it up and heaved it at the guys head. It hits mid chest. This was coupled with a firm and simple "no" in a raised voice. I then realise what I've done and sheepishly turn to my saint of a teacher.
This man has watched this class bully me for a long time now. Watched me not respond to it. Let me sit in the back with headphones in as long as the work's done so I can try and improve my damn grade in peace.
This angel of a teacher looks at me, and in one fluid motion winks, and tilts his head at the door telling me to get gone before sh!t erupts. He knows I don't throw things at people and probably never would again.
I never did. I kept putting the calculators away at the end though.
"Before I even processed..."
In high school, my friends and I would hang out over by the bleachers of one of the baseball fields, pretty far from the quad and most of the other kids. We were sitting in a circle on the grass just talking, and some freshmen we didn't know started chasing each other around and almost kicked our stuff a few times.
My friend said nicely "hey, can you please be careful?" and one of the kids sneered at her and said "why? Like your fat @ss could catch me." (She was a bigger girl).
Before I even processed my own reaction, I immediately stood up and sucker punched him in the side of the head. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and started yelling. He ran over to his other friends, one of whom was apparently his older brother, trying to get them to come beat me up. But the brother just shrugged and said "you were being a d!ck, you deserved it."
My friend was grateful for "defending her honor" and the kid I punched never bothered us again.
"I was shopping..."
I had never stolen from a store ever before in my life.
A few months ago, when this pandemic shit was first hitting the fan, I lost both of my jobs pretty quickly. I am also at a slightly higher risk of dying from COVID than the normal population, so I was scared to look for a new job due to the risk of infection.
I was shopping at Walmart, got a bunch of things, and were ringing them up at self checkout. Every time I scanned something, I knew that was less money in my account. Less money towards rent, less money towards future groceries, less money towards emergencies. With every item, I grew more anxious. At the end, all that was left was one of those big things of instant noodle ramen packages, cost maybe 3 bucks.
Instead of scanning it, I just left it in the cart, paid for the rest, and left without being stopped. Even though it wasn't much money, I figured every dollar counted, and was too stressed to want to shoplift anything that cost more for fear of being caught.
"I always think..."
Kind of not related but still related. I always think that if I do these things people are gonna notice and completely change their views on me so I never end up doing those things.
I'm pretty reserved. Did football my freshman year of high school, but dropped it by sophomore year, because reserved people tend not to succeed there. We went to a pizza buffet after a game or something and while I was walking back to the dining area with my last slice another kid smacked the plate outta my hands and the pizza fell on the floor. Kid was laughing, I picked it up and threw it right into his face point blank. He got really worked up about getting acne from the pizza grease. It was really cathartic.
"In 7th grade..."
In 7th grade there was this one kid who tormented me for the whole year. He hit me, stole my stuff. He even cut my hand with scissors and when I brought it up later with my other classmates they said it was my fault. One recess I went over to him, and punched him in the face. I was honestly expecting him to block it. Felt good.
"Anyway, I legit forgot..."
This is a pretty weak story in comparison to some, but I've been a goody-goody most of my life. Always told the truth, can't keep secrets, always followed the rules... that kind of kid. I was a people pleaser. Anyway, I decided that I wanted to try a weed gummy. My sister got some from her dealer. She gave me half of one; I took it and forgot about it. Fast forward like an hour later, I'm in the middle of ordering a pizza for dinner. Suddenly, my mind starts going haywire. Seeing and thinking things unprompted, completely out of my control. I found it funny at first, but it quickly became scary as fuck. I was having trouble articulating and talking, because everything was moving out of order.
Anyway, I legit forgot about the gummy so I told my dad that I thought I was dying, or having a stroke or something. I ended up going to the ER. That was the most embarrassing moment I've ever had, lol. My 'seen for marijuana use' papers sat on the fridge for weeks after because everyone thought it was hilarious. My mom wasn't too mad, since the (worthless) trip ended up allowing her to meet her deductible for the year. I've definitely sworn off gummies, though. My time of rebellion was short lived.
"I was always..."
I was always a super quiet kid in school and very studious and I prided myself on my academic ability. My school was a zoo, so I made it a point to be very respectful to my teachers since they had to deal with a lot of shit. In 6th grade I had this one teacher who grew up with an abusive parent, and sometimes she would take out her demons on some of the kids in class.
There was this one particular boy who was super tall and large for his age; she would always insinuate he was dumb and lazy, when he was really just a harmless gentle giant. We had a group project together and after presenting it she made some comment about him "probably contributing nothing and him being worthless just like her father" and I lost it.
I immediately defended him, said he pulled his weight. She just doubled down. I accused her of being abusive and bullying an innocent kid, and she accused me of being a disrespectful and told me to get the hell of her classroom. On my way out I asked her "you want to see disrespectful?" and knocked her shit off her desk. It was so satisfying.
I later found out that she bragged to her next three classes that she was going to fail me for the year for what I did. It was embarrassing because kids in those classes started gossiping about it to everyone. During lunch another teacher came up to me and told me I should apologize, even if it was just to save my grades. But I didn't budge, my little kid brain told me to never apologize when you're right, circumstances be damned.
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