People Explain Which Things Are ALWAYS A Bad Idea
We are big believers in the idea that there are no absolutes and words like "always" and "never" are pretty typically hyperbole. Having said that, some stuff really almost never works out well and we should probably just ... ya know ... not.
Reddit wanted to talk about it, so let's talk about it.
For sure the first thing that popped into our head was the "just one more time" thing with that one ex from college who was a total disaster but looked so good in those jeans. Lord.
It's never a good idea, though, fam. Never. NEVER.
Forget the buns. Let 'em go. There are other, more delicious, buns out there. These ain't the buns for you.
Careful Who You Vent To
Venting to a blabber mouth
Oof. I remember being in middle school and hanging out in the restroom asking my friend if she knew if any guys liked me and her saying no. She left first and when I left later all the kids on the bleachers (lazy day in gym) were looking at me and then they all looked away when I asked "what?".
My friends all pulled me aside talking about how it's so embarrassing and I'm just standing there super confused.
Apparently, she walked right out of the bathroom and asked the entire gym if anyone knew of any guys who liked me...
She was shocked in high school when she found out I had stopped telling her secrets for the past 2 years and promised she learned from the past and could now keep her mouth shut.The guy I told her I liked pulled me aside and told me he was flattered but didn't feel the same way the very next day. Jesus.
The Last Word
Saying out loud that final line you know will "win" an argument you are in with your spouse. It won't win. You won't win. And it be better for everyone to shut it and walk away.
Yep. No winners with the final low blow. Just a lot of hurt and words you can't take back. It's never worth it.
The Lies We Tell OurselvesGiphy
Telling myself that If I stay up all night and the following day, I'll get my sleep schedule right.
I have a friend who does this. If he's got an interview or important meeting any time before midday he'll stay up all night so that he doesn't sleep thru it.
What happens every single time? He falls asleep about 8 ish and misses it.
He has lost so many meetings events and opportunities because of this. He's been doing this for at least 25 years now.
Honestly, as an HR pro, I am always surprised by the amount of people who think it's a great idea to add their supervisor as a friend on Facebook... Then turn around and openly complain about the workplace or manager.
Personally, I do not add any coworkers on social media (with the exception of LinkedIn). It's just easier to keep personal/work separate.
Telling your mum that you're bored.
I made that mistake a couple times when I was a kid... Most of the time I wasn't even saying it specifically to her, just within her hearing.
Me: sigh I'm bored... Mom: You can do the dishes. Me: It's not my turn! Mom: It is now.
I would get a long speech about how much she misses being bored then a list of chores to do.
Having a baby to fix a failing relationship.
Like what's even the mindset on that ? "Let's bring another person in all this mess, it sure can't worsen things"
"Hey you know all that stress we are under and how we are having difficulty getting on common ground? How about we fck up our sleep schedules, make me incredibly hormonal, give us both a lifetime physical reminder that we resent each other and then fck that kid up by treating them as leverage instead of a person"
Googling a symptom.
I did this when I was 13 and it said I had neck/lymph node cancer & I cried my @ss off.
My husband and I have a game we call "clicks to cancer" where you see how many clicks it takes before Dr. Google says you have cancer. It's usually less than 5.
Oddly Specific Bad Idea
Letting that married woman talk you into having sex with her. 10/10, sooner or later she's gonna tell her husband. And name you, you know, just to "come clean" about it all.
LOL I had a friend that slept with 4 of our married coworkers. She broke up one of the marriages and caused major problems for another that he was eventually able to smooth over with his now-wife. Two of the guys are quietly sweating in the corner waiting for that shoe to drop.
Some people don't care who they hurt as long as they get their nut.
Closing your eyes after turning off the alarm in the morning.
I don't even hit snooze anymore. Once I break the seal of waking up, i've gotta move or else I fall back asleep even harder and miss the snooze alarms.
- People Explain Which Things Are Far More Dangerous Than ... ›
- People Divulge The Nicest Thing Someone Else's Parents Did For ... ›
- People Explain The Most F***ed Up Thing They've Ever Done ... ›
- People Break Down Which Things Keep Them Up At Night - George Takei ›
- People Share Their Best, 'I've Been Nice My Whole Life, Now I'm Gonna Be Bad' Story - George Takei ›
Reddit user PrototypeShadowBlitz asked: 'Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the "alpha male" community?'
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinatecatholic the exorcist GIFGiphy
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleiaexercise push up GIFGiphy
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologisturuguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy
At Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy
Not The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343dating app GIFGiphy
If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
PromisesPlayers Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy
“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
"Does anyone know you're here?"
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Previously...canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy
"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Be SeriousShouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?
Happiness is relative.
The idea that money can't buy happiness sounds good, but the reality is money can buy many things that contribute to our overall well-being.
And isn't comfort happiness?
Reddit user Little-Two6210 asked:
"F*ck 'Money can't buy happiness' BS, what did you buy that made you so much happier?"
"My rice cooker."
"I always bought the cheapo $20 rice cooker and they’d under/overcook the rice and then eventually burn up and die."
"Saved up my pennies a few years ago and bought a nice Zojirushi model and it has been amazing. Absolutely love the Keep Warm function and the little song it sings when it starts/stops cooking."
"I was so impressed that I bought one for my mom who also loves rice with every meal. First she said 'oh honey it’s too expensive, take it back!'."
"Then she used it and refuses to 'give it back'. These cookers are absolute workhorses."
"I moved into my sister's old house (family land) when she moved in with her boyfriend and just assumed she'd be back 'any day now'."
"Well, I slept on a 'floor mattress'/cot for a year before I accepted that it was okay to start making it my home, bought sheets, pillows, blankets, everything and holy sh*t it changes how sore you feel in the morning."
"Same, except my dog is a cat."
"So much this. I really feel like the only unconditional love relationship I've had in my life has been with my pets."
"I realize that's kind of a pathetic statement, but I'm grateful to have found that type of love in some way."
"My first piano. It changed my life."
"For me it was my first acoustic. I had been playing for a decade on electric."
"Discovering how to use tone- and the beauty that tone carries- was magical."
"Flight tickets to Barcelona. I landed, had a blast, contemplated 'forgetting' to leave."
"Wandering around the city, losing myself in thought in the Gothic Quarter, sitting on a fontain's edge at a square."
"Barcelona is one of my favourite cities. I rarely go there because the flight is rather long, but Athens is a good subtitute for a weekend getaway."
"I ruined my teeth thanks to depression and poor self-care."
"Money paid for my teeth to be fixed and my confidence improved so much."
"Walking is dope."
"I don't have a lot of money so it makes me so happy when I buy anything."
"Like the other day, I got sushi, it was awesome."
"And I got a beautiful comfy beanie."
"Makes me so happy I'm wearing it now. Keeps me warm."
"When I was poor, like super poor, anything was the world to me!"
"My set of cheap pots and pans from Walmart, my first tv (small but awesome!) my first set of not donated sheets, my first new pillows, my first set of new flatware, a lot of firsts."
"My own apartment."
"Feel like my parents, siblings and myself get along better after everyone got their own place."
"Having your own space to just shut off and not be bothered takes such a huge load off."
"Time—help with housekeeping has been invaluable to keeping a sane household while working."
"Services...which to me is essentially buying time."
"So paying to have laundry washed dried & folded has brought me more joy than anyone could ever imagine. Or cleaning service for my house so that I can do other things."
"I've actually noticed that I'm much less grumpy when I don't have to do as much of my own house work."
"I can be so productive with other things I really need to do."
"What is one thing that is the great equalizer between rich and poor people? Time. No amount of money in the world can buy someone time."
"We all have 24 hours days and we will all eventually die. The one thing in this world rich people cannot buy is time."
"So they spend their money conserving time."
"It's why they travel in private jets, have chauffeurs driving them around, a cook who makes their meals, a cleaner for their home, and personal assistants to take care of mundane tasks."
"They cannot buy more time. Only use their money to conserve what time they do have."
"The most important thing money can buy is choice."
"With enough money you can choose to walk away from a sh*tty job or a toxic relationship."
"You can still walk away without money but it’s SO MUCH harder."
"Peace of mind.
"I grew up dirt poor."
"But I’ve had a pretty successful career. Unfortunately, my family has accumulated a lot of medical debt."
"And despite me having a low six figure income, we were living a low income life and worrying constantly about money and spiraling debt."
"The state I live in is very conservative, which translates to a general stance of 'f*ck poor people', despite being one of the poorest states in the country. So it took my spouse, who is a textbook case for the type of person for whom disability is intended, 7 years to finally get approved."
"After that, and refinancing the house, we’re no longer spiraling further into debt. We’re debt free except for the mortgage. And we’re actually growing our savings account."
"I can contribute to a retirement account now. And while we’re far from rich, the sheer relief I’ve been feeling for the last few months is just amazing."
What things have you bought that contributed to your happiness?