The night holds so many secrets. And the darkness can be scary. But boy if I don't live for it. I have been a night person for decades. And the things I have seen would leave every person I know shooketh. And I know I'm not alone. So many people who dwell in the wee hours have all seen things that can be unable to explain. Let's start a group chat.
Redditor u/af**knugget wanted all of us who are awake at all hours of the darkness to unite and discuss by asking... [Serious] Night owls of Reddit, what was the creepiest/most terrifying thing you've experienced staying up late at night?I have been scared, and left breathless more times than I can count after sundown. I love the moon but sometimes the witching hours can be nerve-wracking. That's why all the serial killer movies have them killing at night under the darkness. So how can we trust the night?
I Hate Gordon
I left my laptop on and went into my bedroom to try and sleep. About 2 hours later I started hearing someone talking in the living room (next to my bedroom) and started freaking the hell out thinking someone broke in and was going to murder me.
Creeped out of my room to realize the video I had been watching unpaused itself and was playing again. It wasn't an intruder, just Gordon Ramsay screaming at someone on Hell's Kitchen.
Stay Hidden
When I was little, we used to go to the countryside where my great-grandma lived. She was 101 years old and survived two Balkan wars and two world wars, her husband was in captivity in WWI and fighting for Tito's partisans in WWII, along with my grandpa. Her other son ended up in Mauthausen concentration camp.
So, the house was old and cheeky. The only room that was heated in winter was the one my great-grandma was in, so my parents would made me sleep in the same room with her, while they were sleeping in the freezer of a bedroom.
It wasn't the squealing of the house, or the strange rhythm of an old clock, or the trains that passed by, or wild animals that talked throughout the night that kept me awake, but my great-grandma sleepwalking and talking through the night. She would sit up in her bad and have full conversations with long-lost friends. She would call for them or asked them for the directions, or tell them she missed them so much. But the worst was wailing for killed or mutilated ones. She would say things like "oh, look what they did to your beautiful eyes" or "why didn't you stay hidden? Where could I find a doctor to stitch your stomach up?"
I should have been more vocal about my great-grandma and claw my way in that cold room, in hindsight.
When I was Homeless...
One of the first nights I was homeless, I walked a distance along the bike trail that circles the lake in Madison Wisconsin to sleep. Woke up for no immediately obvious reason at what must have been a very late hour, as the sleep began to dissipate I realized I was lying down looking at a sideways view of someone crouched motionless on approach about eight feet away.
I kept from opening my eyes completely and tried to seem to be still sleeping. The stranger began to slowly take another step toward me. I made a deliberate cough/might-be-waking-up noise and they retreated quickly. Carried a knife for several years after this.
@ 3Am
I was up into the wee hours, trying to get past a level in Dishonored without being seen by any bad guys. Suddenly there is a flash of light across my screen and then a lot of noise at the front door. It's 3 AM. I go stock-still for about 2 minutes, trying to remember where the bat is, and if I locked the door.
I creep slowly to the bat, and then to the door. Check the peep hole, but I see nothing.
Look out for a few minutes, then I get the courage up to open the door and turn on the light (bat still in hand.) There is a dark spot on the porch. And that was the night I learned the the milk is delivered at 3 AM, with a bunch of ice to keep is fresh, and by a dude wearing a headlamp. The last part I learned when I remembered that we have a blink camera covering the front door.
Silent Hill
Staying up late playing Silent Hill: The Room. I was in the hospital part which is pretty tense by itself, its close to midnight and out of the corner of my eye I see a woman in a flowing white gown crossing the yard.
I just about crapped myself.
It was my neighbor going home after visiting my landlord. But good lord did I almost crap myself.
See, now I'm reaching for a Bible to pray. And a phone to call my therapist and some vodka. Those are moments I'd be writing about as well. Try to sleep before 3AM...
The Orbs
Two glowing orbs floating at the edge of the woods. Nothing was holding them up. They were legit just floating in mid-air. No idea what it was, didn't stick around to find out.
Edit: some are saying that it was an animal, but think of it more like a light bulb. It gave enough light that I could see in a 2 foot radius in all directions. I could see the ground behind it.
Edit edit: being that it was near kind of a marshy area, I think it might have actually been a Will o the wisp light. Still freaky tho.
The Shakes...
I was up at like 1 am, and I was on my phone. All of a sudden I hear this sudden boom from outside. It wasn't like explosive loud, but loud enough to be heard by those with good hearing. Afterwards, I could hear this very quiet rumble, like something was coming. In my mind I was going "That's an earthquake". Sure enough, two seconds later, the rumble got louder and everything started to shake. Instinct came in, and I ran downstairs.
On my phone, everyone was writing "Did you guys feel the earthquake?"
We had another earthquake happen a few weeks later, but I had just fallen asleep, but I had woken up right when it was happening. My instinct kicked in, and I just darted outside my bedroom and ran down like 8 flights of stairs. My house is built like a tower, and I live at the top of it. In my mind, my instinct told me "Get to more stable ground. Run downstairs".
The Chills
This was several years back when I lived out in the country. It was maybe 3am and out of nowhere I had this urge to look out the front bay window onto the porch. Sitting there was a coyote already looking into the window as if it knew I was going to look out. It locked eyes with me for a couple of seconds and then bolted into the woods. I still get chills thinking about it.
Under the Bed
So, I was about to go to bed. I think it was around 2:00 AM. I was all in my covers, and I had just put my phone on my nightstand after watching some YouTube. I laid awake for maybe 10 minutes, in the dark. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move in my room, and dart under my bed. Whatever it was, it was small.
I know it went under my bed because as it did, I felt a kick of sorts from under me. Some kind of force came from under the bed, strong enough to feel it through a mattress and various other layers. It was so bizarre. I couldn't sleep for an hour after that.
"you, are not, alone"
Once in my teens, i had a dozen tabs open on my laptop and just chilling around 2 am in the dark in the living room. Suddenly i hear a low, raspy, electronic voice repeating: "you, are not, alone". Honestly almost had a heart attack until i realized, after a moment of freaked out searching, that i had my headphones on and a YouTube video i had in another tab had ended and in it, the new Superman trailer was playing.
I wish I could fall asleep in daylight. I can't. It would be so peaceful, I assume. I wish I could erase some of the jump in the night moments of my life but, alas. We should all get together and make "In the Night" anthology horror stories. Paging Ryan Murphy...
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Let's get existential ... and argumentative.
Because this is internet, people, why are you acting like you don't know what we're here for?
Reddit user Due_Abrocoma6874 asked:
"What exists, but can't be sensed with our 5 senses?"
Which means what was intended as an exploration into the ephemeral took a sudden detour into semantics city.
Because Reddit is Reddit.
Magnetisim
"Magnetism, extremely powerful (it saves us from the Sun) but you can't tell it's there unless you have something to tell you. I work in a electric motor shop and have to stick my hand in +4,000 horse power motors with dummy rotors to test them. I'm probably shooting blanks now, my 2nd answer, infertility."
- Padmei
"I think you're confusing the effects of ionizing radiation with magnetism. Strong magnetic fields have absolutely no effects on humans; MRIs are a perfect example. However, working with radioactive materials or near x-ray sources can kill irreplaceable cells in the reproductive organs of both sexes."
- Jenyweny09
"Hence the burning question, 'F*cking Magnets, How Do They Work??' "
- saruin
"Interesting job, bad answer."
"Look I'm not a 'magnestist' here, just an electrician which I guess could be one of the next closest jobs. But thats like saying you can't use any of our senses to sense gravity."
"Ever seen an object get affected by a magnet? That's sensing magnetism through our sense of 'sight'. Ever held something near a magnet - or even a magnet itself since you can feel the repllent aspect of the force as well? That is sensing magnetism through our sense of 'touch'."
"When anyone cops a belt (sparky for an electric shock) whether it be licking a 9v battery, touching live 240v conductors or even getting struck by lightning; we are feeling the electromagnetically energised positive protons and negative electrons trying to balance themselves out. We literally feel our body experience magnetism."
"Hahaha I did have a laugh at your second answer though that's probably true"
- sheppo42
"Actually, both of those are the effects of magnetism. We can't sense magnetic force, just what it causes."
- Mori_564
It's Technically Hearing, But We Get It.
"The difference between an awkward silence and regular silence"
- Jeutnarg
"YES! Have a freebie!"
- Sticketoo_DaMan
"I choose not to ever consider silence to be awkward silence and i encourage others to do the same. Yeah it's some corny sigma male sh*t but it's really made my conversations more enjoyable"
- maxverstrappin
"Once knew a guy who was having difficulties with a co-worker. HR finally just told them not to talk to each other. A week later HR spoke to him because the other guy whined about him being 'aggressively silent'. Like wtf?"
- II_Confused
"bro speaking facts"
- holdupdindindindin
"It is a regular silence until you mention the silence. Then it is an awkward silence."
- nellucd
Getting Metaphysical
"Most of reality."
- hydraxl
"And yet some brilliant humans have been able to make many of the insensible things visible through their inventions. It’s incredible how many things are known even when we’re unable to detect it without devices."
- TheYeti4815162342
"I thought this was a dark matter reference at first."
"Most of the universe is dark matter, but we can't see it, touch it, smell it, or interact with it in any way with our senses."
- stevey_frac
"This is perhaps the best and, simultaneously, most frightening answer."
"If we had 10 more senses and 1000 more IQ points we still wouldn't be able to experience even a fraction of reality."
- pezdal
"This 100%."
"Here's a rough list of things that are currently all around you but you don't know is there:"
"Countless air molecules such as oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen"
"Light (EM spectrum) outside of our range. Radio signals from cell phones, routers, towers, planes, etc. Xrays and gamma rays from upper atmosphere particle interactions and distant stars."
" Billions and billions of neutrinos produced by the sun that penetrate the earth (and your body of course)."
" Radioactive emissions from various natural decaying elements including Carbon"
"14 found in pretty much anything with Carbon (such as your body). Also Potassium such as in Bananas."
" Billions of bacteria and viruses all over everything."
" That Klingon Warbird decloaking off starboard!"
- salbris
Radiation
"Nuclear radiation, plus neutrinos - they go right through us."
- Ghostforever7
"Apparently it tastes like metal when there is a lot of radiation tho"
- luminaxed
"Astronauts said they could see flashes of light through their closed eyelids, so not all radiation"
"But I do agree with neutrinos"
- FrankMiner2949er
"Technically you could sense neutrinos since they could hypothetically interact with the liquid inside your eyes, but that happens so rarely and our eyes are so small that statistically it will never happen for anyone ever."
- Moikle
You Have To Imagine The Flavor
"The different flavors of La Croix."
- Tantra_Charbelcher
"La Croix flavors aren’t real, you read the can or see the color and it tricks your brain into thinking there is a flavor. I’m convinced this is true and nothing anyone says can change my mind."
- megapuffranger
"Wait... La Croix has flavors? I thought it was just different can colors"
- Tips__
"Ha! I have a buddy that always said La Croix is like drinking sparkling water while someone on the other end of the house whispers the word grapefruit."
- mrausgor
"It tastes like TV static"
- chealey21
Tricky Brain
"Magenta. Your brain makes it up"
- TrulyTynixo
"I'll take it if seeing it as grey is the only alternative."
"Crap how many things that we perceive as grey are actually exciting colours? I know certain birds, insects and marine life can see a wider scope of colours than we can."
- Chromattix
"I am so confused. I know exactly what magenta is but I googled it and there are no wavelengths? Is life a lie?"
- K_Xanthe
"Technically your brain makes up all colors and sight. I think what you are saying though is that there isn't a specific wavelength range that the brain directly converts to magenta. Actually now that I think of it, I'm not sure what that weird fact is about. I'll have to read more about it."
- c_c_c_c_c_c_d
"Even crazier than Magenta are the impossible colors which can only be perceived temporarily via an optical illusion."
" 'Stygian Blue' is a shade of blue that's darker than black."
" 'Hyperbolic Orange' is a shade of orange that's even more orange than orange."
"The 'self luminous' colors look like brighter-than-white glowing pastels."
"They're kind of trippy."
- Cybyss
Gasses
"Carbon monoxide. Unless dying counts as a sense."
- Rampant_baconator
"All gasses except for CO2 are undetectable to the human body. Not just CO"
- Rotor_Tiller
"Even CO2 is undetectable. It has the EXACT SAME symptoms as every other gas. An impending sense of doom, hallucinations(usually scary and violent) and finally random bouts of unconsciousness getting worse as the volume increases but thats hypoxia as well so..."
- MutedAd7206
"What I mean is that CO2 is the pretty much the only gas that the lungs evolved specifically to reject. A lung full of CO2 is always going to burn and generally feel suffocating although I don't have enough experience with colder co2 vapors to know what those might feel like."
- Rotor_Tiller
"If it's a lung of PURE CO2 yeah but in the toxic level you won't notice it cause it's not lethal."
- MutedAd7206
"Why is this so far down on the list?"
- alleghenysinger
I Got A Feeling Somebody's Watching Me
"When you’re being watched. You can’t hear, see, touch, taste or smell who or what is watching you. You just kinda… know 👁👁"
- Tobester2005
"I've heard that your peripheral vision is exceedingly good at detecting eyes. It doesn't tell you exactly where but it alerts that 'being watched' feeling. Technically still sight."
- Spyblox007
"Typically, the reason for this is because your brain has picked up on something that isnt quite right, wether its silence, or the absence of something thats usually there, but most times, you can't tell what that thing is, but you know something isnt right"
- helpmylifeis_a_mess
"My buddy went hiking on Vancouver Island a few years ago and told me he had that exact feeling directly behind him. Turned around and a mountain lion was staring at him from a distance."
- eddieswiss
"You can you just don't know you can. You as a being are too focused on random bullshit than on surviving its why we have a part of the brain DEDICATED TO THREAT DETECTION. It's called your subconscious or Instincts. Instincts are useful because they give you that gut feeling and deal with your reflexes. If you've ever gotten into a fight and grabbed a rock or something without thinking about it it was Instincts. If you've ever felt paranoid or afraid of the dark despite being 30 years old and having gotten over it that's Instincts. If you've ever looked at a ledge and thought about jumping off that's Instincts telling you have terrifyingly bad an idea that is(something to do with monkey brain and judging distances you can fall from safely)"
- MutedAd7206
Existential Question
"Depends what you mean by "sensed". If I look at a video feed from a satellite at the far end of the Moon, am I seeing the far end of the Moon? If I look at a picture of distant galaxies imaged in infrared, watch a vapor trail in a particles experiment, listen to a sonification of data, feel a building tremble in an earthquake, do I sense these existing things?"
"What is allowed to be between myself and the existing 'thing', to still call it sensing? Do the instruments have to be part of my body? What about glasses? Implanted lenses? Hearing aids? Skin grafts?"
"Regardless of your answer, the only thing I would say with some certainty exists, but cannot be sensed, is the future (some future) because the laws of physics forbid time travel in that direction.."
- grismar-net
"I would argue that time in that sense doesn’t even really count as existing. It’s more of an abstraction or summary of the interaction between existent things in space (spacetime would be a better way to think about it)."
"Not one thing can be said to exist without the claim being dependent on the senses."
-
Not Your Typical Wave
"Most radio waves"
- brock_lee
"More like the entire electromagnetic spectrum apart from visible light and infrared."
- Mems1900
"Up to a certain amplitude but eventually … cooked 😂"
- CutAccording7289
"Most light aka most of the electromagnetic spectrum. In fact we can't sense any radio waves at all, not with our human senses anyway, as the OP asked."
- c_c_c_c_c_c_d
"I was going to say WiFi, but that is also an electromagnet wave."
- met3_1
Now that you've argued your way through some Redditors thoughts, let's argue more in the comments.
What do you know exists even though you can't exactly perceive it?
Life is full of boring things.
Life is full of uninteresting things.
So... if life full?
That's a question for another time.
Let's focus on the things that leave us bored to tears.
Or numb with no feeling at all.
You ever wonder how people get so super involved and jazzed about some stuff and you look at it and all you can do is yawn?
That's our topic.
Redditorroscatorossowanted to hear about what things we all can live without.
They asked:
"What's something you have ZERO interest in?"
I have a long list of having zero interest in things. Give me a few more points.
Auto Issues
"Extending my car’s warranty."
reddittothegrave
"We have messaged you about your car's extended warranty."
Ashamed-Help-6662
Potions
"Herbalife."
meskal1L
"All pyramid schemes should get stuffed."
I_AM_FERROUS_MAN
"At one point my boss was hocking Herbalife and young living essential oils on the side of the business, it was a blast trying to take a sick day because she had the cure for everything."
mediumlowpriority
Never Again
"Commercial advertisements interrupting what I’m doing."
NimrodvanHall
"Let's talk about commercial ads in cinemas. I stopped going to a certain cinema (The Space chain, in Italy) for this reason. Tickets are more expensive than the family owned cinema, and before the movie starts you have at least 30 minutes of ads."
"Unless you book online, they don't allow you in if the 'movie' has started. Online bookers can go in until 30 minutes after the booked time. For some reason, my friends love it. I deeply hate it. People usually run out of popcorn before the movie starts. The last time I went there, I paid 12.50€ for a movie that had to start at 22:30, and it started at 23:20. Never again."
Liscetta
Tasks
"Raid shadow legends."
aintshockedbyyou
"I did actually download it. Played it for like 5 minutes, there was very little in the way of strategy or anything and it kept giving me new 'tasks.' Eventually I discovered a 'Auto fight' button that would literally play the game for you requiring 0 input from you. I uninstalled it."
Crackracket
Idiots
"Shows about d**chebags dating on some island."
Kramer1812
I still can't believe people get invested in those shows.
Blah Blah
"Literally whatever my neighbor wants to talk about, everyday."
maketes
Who Cares?
"Gender reveal parties. We're gonna find out soon enough."
NO_Cheeto_in_Chief
"Somebody I worked with had a cringy one of these at our team meeting, after talking shop about very serious issues in suits and ties etc. At the end my manager was like 'ok so now we have a special moment where Nadine is going to reveal to us the gender of her baby.' She got up excitedly in front revealing a big box covered in glitter and s**t, slowly cut a ribbon and balloon popped out with 'it's a boy' on it. We just all sat there and awkwardly clapped like we cared."
keepYourMonkey
They're Nobody
"Praising and defending corrupt politicians like a freaking God."
Hefty-Mistake-4290
"Corrupt politicians, more like ANY politician. I find it so strange seeing people idolise and put their political leaders on these untouchable pedestals while they crap on them, none of them care about anything other than their agenda and their wallets."
callumpenman00
Enough
"I've recently been seeing a clickbait on my social media that says, 'Did Anne Frank have white privilege? The internet is up in arms...' or something like that. I cannot even describe the feeling of shut the heeeeellll up, and total exhaustion that that question gives me."
Particular_Rav
Not a Thing
"Celebrities/ Influencer Culture."
MisterD90x
"I really hate the term 'influencer.' It just sounds so pompous and is mostly only used by people who want to feel more relevant than they actually are."
CC_Keyes
I have less than zero interest in all of this.
The times do change fast don't they? Everything we think we'll know about the future is usually false.
How much of history is littered with things we thought we'd never be able to do without?
Now we watch movies in our palms. (Instead of theaters.) We send millions of dollars through the air. (Instead of withdrawing in person, or a check.) And we no longer need pennies. (Basically)
Who would have thought?
These were all going to be life essentials.
But generation by generation, the obsolescence takes over.
RedditorVictorPumpensteinwanted to talk about what truths were hidden until it was too late for each group as we aged.
They asked:
"What is the biggest lie sold to your generation?"
Beepers. I was told my beeper would be forever. Alas...
You Still Here?
"Gen X-er here... we were told that the boomers would eventually retire. Still waiting for that to happen while rapidly approaching retirement age myself."
drsfmd
JOHNNY!!
"Don’t act up in class Johnny, It will go on your PERMANENT RECORD!!"
ThePracticalDad
"I worked in records for a public school board many years ago. The only thing colleges ever requested was transcripts and IEPs if a student had one. However, the police would request full disciplinary records of someone was going to be hired. And unless a student had a disciplinary hearing at some point, most records other than transcripts are destroyed after 7 years."
War Over
"The war on drugs."
2003gts
"Poverty and terror won theirs, too. Turns out, declaring war on a concept without attacking the societal roots of the problem is just a way to funnel more money into the military-industrial complex."
MrVeazey
"Shout out to pharmaceutical companies for winning the war on drugs."
Responsible_Tell1589
instead of cardboard...
"Plastic recycling. I remember when grocery stores went from paper bags to plastic because 'they're recyclable!' Literally everything else started coming wrapped in a ton of plastic (instead of cardboard) because it was recyclable. Single use plastics were great, because we'd just recycle the plastic, and use it forever! Turns out, it was just cheaper, and recycling had nothing to do with it. Most of that plastic can't be recycled anyway."
DifficultMinute
Food Contents
"Fat is bad, sugar is good."
Thesorus
"This is why America has an obesity epidemic. Even now, older generations tout the health benefits of low fat things, without bothering to look at sugar contents. High sugar processed foods that happen to be low in fat destroyed multiple generations. Thankfully I think Gen Z might be the turnaround. Older generations are pretty messed up."
Bulky_Consideration
Unprotected
"Medicare and social security will protect you. Based on how things are going, anyone with 30 years or more before retirement better have strong backup plans."
iteraco
Oh Medicare and social security. What. A. Disaster. We are in trouble.
Just Type
"You will always have to write in cursive."
hakuna_matitties
"I hated those cursive books and being 10 and still couldn't figure it out. My sister a year behind me never had to write cursive. I firmly believe my year was the last year to deal with cursive. This was back in 2012-2013."
chonketteseal
It's Broken
"Climb the corporate ladder."
UKS1977
"It's not a ladder, it's a pyramid. Only one person can be CEO, a handful can be executives, a bigger clump can be in some form of middle management, but the majority will always be 'individual contributors' - what an amazingly corporate term."
"You're often better off with an in-demand skill set that you can shop from company to company. Unless you enjoy fighting and scrabbling and climbing over people to keep getting promoted. Sure, you may have crappy bosses, but even the CEO has to go in front of the board and be told everything that's going wrong."
towerdweller
I'm Good
“If you don’t go to college, you’ll die broke and alone on the street.”
googlyeyes183
"I wish i hadn't been pushed so hard to go to Uni at 18. I wasn't ready yet and i didn't know what I wanted to do with my life yet. Asking a 16 year old what degree and vocation he wants is just a bad way of doing it!"
Relentless_Fiend
"My principal in high school was upset at me because I wasn't going to college. He told me multiple times that if I don't, then I am just throwing away my intelligence. I never went to college because it just sounded miserable and expensive. I worked a few different jobs after high school and learned a lot then started my own business. Glad I never went to college."
acetamethemphetamine
Not True
"Work hard for your company and they will take care of you."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
whatintheactualfeth
So much changes over each generation. How will we ever learn?
In this day and age of sexual freedom and experimentation, why would you cheat?
It makes absolutely no sense.
Unless, the act itself is part of the fun.
No matter your decision, let's pinpoint the moment we know we're heading down that path.
Everybody can name the times you feel it in your gut.
You know it's crossed a line.
Now what?
Redditorcrabpinchingmyanuswanted to hear about the moments when we all begin to fall short of fidelity.
They asked:
"Redditors, where does cheating in a relationship start for you?"
You always know when it's wrong. At least I always did. That's why is called cheating.
Plotting
"The sneaking around. The second you start plotting to do something behind my back. You're violating the trust of the relationship."
Warkitz
Intent
"Honestly it's about intentions more than anything. If my SO started pursuing someone romantically that's cheating - doesn't matter if it's lovey dovey texting or f**king. If my SO was at a party and a drunk person kissed him suddenly against his wishes, that's not cheating."
"At the end of the day it comes down to them wanting to be with another person and they aren't being honest about it. The polite thing to do, even though it's painful and hard and sad, is to break up. Breaking up is never crappier than cheating."
NowHeres_HumanMusic
Tests
"If you would be unwilling to tell your partner about an interaction, then it's probably time to start thinking about what you're doing."
Teafairy6767
"Yeah I think the two basic litmus tests are..."
"1- Would you tell them/do it in front of them?"
"2- Would you be okay with it if they did the same thing?"
"If the answer is yes to both, it’s probably fine. If it’s no to either, then at minimum you’re on dangerous ground."
audigex
Off Limits
"It depends on what each couple would consider to be off limits. A good guide is if you're doing something you would hide from your partner or wouldn't do it if they were in the room with you, then that's cheating. It can range from having sex with someone else, to simply flirting."
j_neutrus
Omissions
"Lies. It always starts with lies. Be it texts or snaps, if one of us have to lie or hide, it's wrong and should not happen."
notyourusuallady
It's always a lie in the beginning. Don't lie... it's a Commandment.
Upon Reflection
"If you wouldn't want your partner to know, it's cheating. I wouldn't flirt with someone else in front of my partner, so I don't flirt with people when he's not around either."
kellogg888
actions/feelings/thoughts
"As cheesy as it sounds, it starts with your motive, intention, and conscience. I think there's a clear cut difference between physical cheating and mental/emotional cheating, but it all relates to your honest motive, intention, and conscience. For example, there isn't anything inherently wrong with texting with another person if you are married or dating."
"But if you know in your heart that you are texting or engaging in conversation that makes you feel guilty or it would make your partner upset, you may be doing something wrong, even if you technically did not cheat. If at any point you are justifying your actions or defending your actions/feelings/thoughts from a technical perspective, you may be at the start of doing something wrong."
orange_cuse
That's cheating...
"Cheating starts at lying, even by omission. I am okay with private conversations, meeting people she wants to meet, going away on business trips or going out and coming back late at night. But lying to me about it or about what happened? Or simply not telling me something I don't want to hear? That's cheating."
"So..."
"'I will go out tonight, to see people you don't know and talk about things you don't care about': we are in the clear, it is fine."
"'I saw X and Y last night at their place': if I know for sure that it is not true, then there is some cheating involved."
"It only works if you are not a creep, or even jealous. There needs to be mutual trust and respect. When trust and respect are gone, the relationship is gone too."
pleasedontPM
Happy Birthday
"The intent. For me, an ex of mine that would later cheat on me started a tinder profile in which she claimed she "just wanted to find friends" and she certainly found quite a few of them. Obviously, she didn't just want friends. It could be as small as reaching out to an ex to say happy birthday, but most people have the intent to do something well before it is executed."
isnoe
The Grey
"If there’s a grey area, it’s cheating. If you know they will be upset, it’s cheating. If you have to hide it/lie/omit details. It’s cheating."
SufficientBug5598
There is never a good reason to cheat. Once you know it's starting... fess up.