Nobody likes dealing with telemarketers, even the ones calling from legitimate businesses. The last thing most of us want is to be interrupted during our favorite TV show just to hear about a great new insurance policy. Even worse are the scammers who are calling from "Microsoft" because "Your computer has a virus!"
In search of ways to deal with these callers, Reddit user u/conno85 asked:
Have your own sales pitch ready.
"Hey, you know what? I'm glad you called so we can share this time together. Speaking of sharing time, have you heard of a timeshare?"
I usually hit them with a pyramid scheme. They offer their stuff and im like, "Definitely interested, while I have you on the line, let me tell you about a great selection of Herbalife Products that are available for purchase"
If you have access to a toddler, give the phone to the toddler and tell them that the nice person on the phone wants to hear all about their day.
The counter-tactic is to pitch your product to the kid. Guaranteed sale if you can get him to bug his parent about it for the next month.
My dad once got a call from a clearly scammy dental insurance company. He just yelled in the most twangy voice possible "I ain't got no teeth!" They immediately hung up.
I had like, a college debt consolidator call me (something like that, anyway). "Oh, yeah! I totally have student debt!", I said. They asked me how much, i told them $152.37, and they hung up and never called back.
My mom answers the phone, "sheriff's department, fraud division."
Immediate dial tone on the other end.
Just had the thought, "FCC, how may I direct your call?"
"Thank you for calling the FBI! Please listen closely, as our options have changed. To turn yourself in, please press one. To confess to crime, please press two."
I tell them to hang on a second. I'll hit redial on the last telemarketer I got and add them to the call. Then I just hang up and let the two of them try to sell stuff to each other for the next minute.
When they ask me if I want to hear about their product I say "Sure, but first let me tell you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ."
I ask them to hang on for a sec and I then just put the phone down. They hang up after a minute or so.
Depending on the call center, they may prefer that. Gives us a few seconds to breath and relax.
I figure it puts the pressure/call on them. They can hang up when they see fit.
As a former telemarketer, just hang up the phone.
We hate it as much as you do. It's impossible to be a telemarketer without hating your life.
EDIT should add that some telemarketing people will call you again in a few days anyway, so make sure to say "don't call me again" and they should take you off the call list
The definite exception is the "Microsoft Internet Support" type calls. They deserve every bit of time wasting you can give them.
Telemarketers generally have KPIs consisting of three things, dials, contacts and closes (sometimes follow-ups).
They hate the job just as much as you do, the best thing to do for honest telemarketers (distinct from call centers operating as a front for a scam disguised as a legal business) is to say "Sorry, no opportunity here, no reason to follow up." and hang up as soon as possible. Then you can get on your life and they can get onto their next dial and you add less toxicity into the world.
Alternatively, tell them your Michael Dorn and do your best Worf impersonation.
If it's a scam call, I always ask them what they tell their parents they do for a living.
"Do your parents know you steal money from old ladies for a living?"
"Are your parents proud of you for being a thief?"
Answer the call with "Hello caller, you're on the air!" elee0228
"Hello and good morning, you are live on the air at radio 98.4 theee Weaaasel!" MrBananaStorm
I use this regularly and it works everytime:
TM: hello, this is so and so with xyz, I'm looking for mr. X.
Me: Oh sure, he's taking a crap right now, hold on I'll pass the phone to him.
Usually at this point they hang up... if they don't, I proceed in talking to them with intermittent aggressive grunting.... by this point they 100% hang up. nwrcj90
I'd give the signal, my son would start screaming, and I'd say "sorry, my son is on fire." and hang up. MadWhiskeyGrin
I always tell them that this is a business line, and then politely ask them to put this line on the do not call list. Usually, people say no problem and hang up. Once in a while I get an a**. I then ask for the supervisor. Then they hang up.
However, when I was getting the "Apple Support" scam numbers literally every half-hour, I finally hit the button and got a real person. I told them I had no Apple products and I knew this was a scam all, what would it take to get them to leave me alone. The woman (you could hear the boiler operation in the background) said $100. No way that was going to happen.
So, the next time, I went through until I got a human being. I spoke very quietly, telling them I was worried about my computer. The guy asked me to speak up several times. When I was sure they had turned up their volume, I blasted them with my basketball referee whistle. I did that twice. Calls stopped. delnorteduck
I usually pretend that I'm an old man rambling in Spanish and arguing with his wife. Need_Coffee79
My guy is usually Japanese or French. I don't know those languages, I just make up words that sound like they are in those languages and mix in some confusing English statements. mschwartz33
I tell them to hang on a second. I'll hit redial on the last telemarketer I got and add them to the call. Then I just hang up and let the two of them try to sell stuff to each other for the next minute. codered434
i often get calls like WE HEARD YOU WERE IN A CAR ACCIDENT THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT so i like to waste their time and tell them a really detailed story about how i was drink driving and I crashed while the police were chasing me and it wasn't my fault because the police shouldn't have been speeding and my wife and kids are dead now and i want compensation because i cant drink drive anymore. kill_the_wasps
I always "sell" what ever they are selling for a living.. need duct cleaned? oh i own a duct cleaning business.. need your lawn care.. i own a landscaping company... water filter... oh i own a water store.. shuts them up.. not rude.. not long.. done. rackem222
I usually try to say something that would bewilder them. Same goes for people on the street... For example:
Them: Can I interest you in the chance to win £500? Me: Oh, nah. I've got loads of money.
Them: Are you against animal cruelty? Me: No.
... In saying that, those were the only two times I came up with something fast enough. ana1ytics
My favorite way is the way Jerry Seinfeld did it in one episode.
T: "Hello I was wanting to see if you're interested in purchasing (blank)?"
J: "Yeah that sounds great, but I'm actually really busy at the moment. Can I get your name and home phone number and I can call you later tonight?"
T: "Sir we can't do that."
J: "Why not? You don't want random people calling you all day?"
T: "Well, no."
J: "Well now you know how I feel."
Hang up! drewisawesome14
Food is a totally subjective thing. What has one person drooling might leave another dry-heaving just thinking about.
Having said that, some stuff is just plain ... wrong.
Have you ever eaten something that hit you so wrong that it kind of upset your soul? Something so foul and sacrilegious that even years later you get a little bit angry thinking about it?
Something that made your tastebuds cry out for you to avenge them?
Then this is the article for you.
Reddit user PhillyGirlLovesBagel asked:
"What's the worst food you've ever tried?"
Friends, your hunger deserved better.
The Worst Burger On EarthHungry Kate Hudson GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"In the Dominican Republic, there is a mountain in Puerto Plata called Isabel de Torres. On that mountain there is a restaurant."
"That restaurant sells the worst goddamn burgers you will ever eat in your life."
"Would just like to say, don't be discouraged from visiting the Dominican Republic. The people, culture, scenery, and food there are all amazing!"
"Take it from me, I lived there for six years. 9/10, would recommend. Just seriously - AVOID THIS BURGER."
"They were so bad I almost puked after the first bite and our entire party left. The patty (if you could even call it that) was burnt to a crisp."
"The patty itself looked and tasted like a mix if rice, eggplant, and beef. It also had way too much 'sauce,' which was just a mix of the cheapest available ketchup and those like liquid cheeses that come in a bottle at fast food places."
"Other than that, the burger had tomato, arugula, and burnt cheddar cheese. I really, REALLY, cannot overstate how bad it was."
"The worst thing is that this wasn't a one off with the restaurant. We were a group of five and we all ordered a burger (there were like three things on the menu), and they all came out the same. We left."
When Mom Was Outdisgusted go away GIFGiphy
"There was a week where my mom was out so my dad had to cook for my brother and I. His first day he made chili."
"By chili I mean that he browned some beef, threw it in a pot with water and added one single packet of chili seasoning to the water and served it to us."
"We had frozen pizza the rest of the week."
Moms CookingSchitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphy
"My ex mother-in-laws meatloaf."
"She literally just pressed ground beef into a square baking pan and threw it in the oven. Zero spices. Zero anything but hot ground beef."
"She also made 'baked spaghetti' which was her take on baked ziti. It was cooked spaghetti noodles with plain tomato sauce in a pan and baked."
"She was so terrified of the 'negative health effects' of salt that she grew to fear ALL spices. Her cabinets and fridge were filled with everything reduced sodium, fat free, sugar free, etc."
"Her cooking made me realize why I had to twist my ex's arm to try REAL meatloaf and baked ziti the way it's supposed to be made. She had no idea what she was doing in the kitchen."
That French FlanMelissa Barrera Eating GIF by VidaGiphy
"I was in France and stopped by a place in Paris."
"I had been travelling for several months and missed Mexican food. When the owner found out I was Mexican, she insisted I try the flan she just made as a first attempt."
"The food was pretty alright, not like home but it hit the spot. She brought out the flan and stood there expectantly waiting for my response."
"It was absolutely the worst flan I had ever had in my life."
"Like it just tasted BAD. Like eggs that were off? Flan is a custard and the temperature line between custard and sweetened scrambled eggs is a fine one."
"I couldn't hide my reaction and she became visibly upset. I ate a little more to be polite but just couldn't anymore."
"I told her I'm just very picky and suggested a few things as I had worked in a bakery that had made some in the past (aside from family recipes). I gave her my contact info and a few weeks later got an email thanking me."
"A group of Mexican musicians came through and told her while it wasn't traditional, it was very tasty and had a good texture."
"She said any time I was back to please stop by for a meal on the house. Unfortunately, the next time I was back the place had closed down."
Wiggling Away...Cake Shaking GIF by Miss PettyGiphy
"Lots of my family still thinks aspics are a necessity for family dinners, so there'll usually be a variety of jellied salads. Tomato salad, shredded cabbage salad, usually some kind of weird olive and hard boiled egg combo for some reason."
"All sitting on their plates, perfectly rectangular, wiggling away..."
"People in the 50s and 60s put EVERYTHING in gelatin. I’m pretty sure there’s a recipe out there for roast chicken jello."
"Because way way back before gelatin came in a packet, it was really time consuming to extract it from bones. Aspic was seen as a kind of status symbol, as well as a creative and colourful thing to make for parties."
"And then when it did come in a packet in the 50s and 60s, there was a huge drive to try and market something which was essentially a biproduct of the meat industry as a food staple."
"One of my ex girlfriend's grandmothers had the whole family over for dinner one night. She cooked spaghetti."
"My ex's mom pulled me aside and warned me that it would be terrible. Not just bad. Terrible."
"Boy, was she right."
"Her grandmother boiled water, put in the noodles, DID NOT DRAIN THE WATER, and then dumped some salt, pepper, and KETCHUP into the pot and served it. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could dry heave over the toilet."
A Redemption Arcjames franco sandwich GIFGiphy
"This one has a redemption arc."
"My then-girlfriend brought some leftover Ethiopian food and kept talking about how awesome it was and had me try some injera (like a giant sourdough pancake) after she reheated everything."
"It was absolutely revolting. Dry and brittle and weirdly grainy and the wrong side of chewy. Seriously the worst thing I had ever had in my life."
"Fast-forward about a month and we go to that restaurant. I wasn't excited, but whatever. I figure there has to be good stuff and I can avoid the injera bread pancake disaster, right?"
"The staff there tells me the injera is your UTENSIL. You're supposed to tear off bits and use it to pick up your food with."
"You're not supposed to eat it by itself, it's purposefully flavorless. They also say never put it in a fridge or microwave it; at which point my girlfriend stared at the table mournfully as she had served it like that."
"The order arrives and I take a breath, pick up some red lentils with the injera expecting that same dry brittle grainy weirdness ... and I discovered my death row meal, folks."
"It's the greatest food on the planet. The fresh injera tastes amazing and only highlights everything you pick up with it! Gored gored (beef pan roasted in berbere that's super spicy and amazing), injera, and red lentils are now the best food I've ever tasted in my life!"
"If you're ever in Memphis, go to Abyssinia on Poplar. Try the red lentils."
This Old Mans Recommendationgross vomit GIFGiphy
"My dad was finishing our basement in our old house, and he had an elderly man from our old church helping him out with hanging the drywall, electrical wiring, that kind of thing."
"Well, this old geezer knew my family liked beef heart (side note: beef heart is delicious, but you have to be ready for the ventricles - they can be a bit weird to chew on if you don't cut them out of the piece of meat that you're eating), so he says we are gonna love kidneys."
"My dad always loved liver, so he just assumed it would be something similar."
"NOT. EVEN. F*CKING. CLOSE."
"My dad did everything he could to spice this rancid meat up and make it not taste like pure, unadulterated sadness. Nothing worked - it smelled like piss, the house reeked of it for weeks after."
"My dad refused to even try it, my mom took a bite and spat it out, and then they made my brother and I eat a bite. I can still smell that stench..."
"So anyway, we end up ordering pizza and that old fart sat down and ate an entire pound of that acrid organ. Mind you, this is the same old man that would eat bulbs of garlic like they were f*cking apples in the middle of church, so I don't know why that wasn't a red flag right from the start to my parents."
That Last SentenceSeason 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"In High School I got pizza from the pizza shack in the lunch area. The pizza was soggy as hell from the grease. Upon taking a bite, it tasted like alcohol."
"The bread had fermented."
"That last sentence was like a punch to the gut. Wtf"
"I think I tasted this comment 🤢"
Turtle TeaSipping Kermit The Frog GIFGiphy
"I lived in China for a while. My employer took we to an extremely fancy restaurant once, one that was apparently listed as one of the 'eight treasures of Chinese cuisine' by the CCP."
"It specialized in accurate recipes from a period that, if I recall correctly, was about 700 years old. They were ... intense."
"They served a tea that was basically just a baby turtle boiled in water and served, turtle and all."
"Beyond the unpleasantness of opening your little cup and finding a whole boiled baby turtle, it tasted like week old gym socks."
Alright, you've made it through Reddit's horror stories, it's your turn.
What have you eaten that you seriously wish you could un-eat? Do you actually like any of the things listed here?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Secrets, we all have them. Some will be spilled over time and some will go to the grave.
Mine are going to the grave. Just in case you were waiting for a truth sharing moment, there it is.
Others often feel the need to shed their secrets. Secrets can weigh on you.
So every once in awhile people start letting loose, because it's the only way to free yourself.
That's why you get a therapist, to share the most shocking, intimate details of your life. To spill and be free.
Or... naturally, you come to Reddit.
Redditor General-Pea2016 wanted see who would be willing to spill some tea about life, they asked:
"What have you never told anyone?"
I am a keeper of secrets. Not a spiller. Unless of course a there is a jug of top shelf cosmos around. Then we may have trouble.
“wedding”Episode 12 Wedding GIF by FriendsGiphy
"No one, and I mean absolutely no one (aside from my wife) who attended my “wedding” knew that it was actually our one year anniversary party." ~ Reddit
"I had this lucky streak as a kid...s mall stuff usually, like free 20oz on a soda cap. My mom and I didn't have a great relationship (not bad, just distant because my sister died) but she was always super excited about it. So when it hadn't happened for a while, I started creating situations to keep her attention." ~ SyninHex
"I grew up raised by my grandfather, when I was 21 he had a stroke. I called 911 and practically drove behind the ambulance the entire way to the hospital I ended up stayed with him there for 2 days while his kids flew from across the country to see him. I remember him laying there as I held his hand, he kept saying my name over and over again, and he just passed like that sometime in the night, I never told my uncles or aunts exactly what happened, it was just to surreal for me." ~ Echob0_
"That I'm very lost in life and don't know what to do, like in a point of where I have free time I don't do anything productive just lay in my bed for hours. Sometimes at night thinking whether I'm going down the right path, or am I doing things right, or just thinking about how my closest friends n family will react if I just end it one day. But that won't happen since I'm too afraid to do it." ~ Error_Code505
Steveyacht rock GIFGiphy
"I like the song 'Oh Sherrie' by Steve Perry un-ironically, and when I watched the music video for the first time in years a few years ago, I cried. I don't know why, maybe it was the nostalgia (I was a kid in the 80s)." ~ napalmnacey
Such scandal. And such innocence. I was waiting for tragedy and mayhem. Let's see...
DiagnosisTeddy Bear Hug GIFGiphy
"That I’m pretty sure I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and as I get older (especially this past year) I see signs that I may be incapable of being happy." ~ Giveushealthcare
"Back in high school, my friends and I had a secret alcohol stash in the woods. They pissed me off one day, so I took the stuff I wanted to drink for myself. They later discovered the best stuff was gone and they never suspected it was me. They thought a parent or sibling had found out and almost gave away their own secret trying to find who did it. It was entertaining for sure for me." ~ TeenageDream1234
Thanks for listening...
"I never got over the trauma of a bad relationship 17 years ago. It has negatively impacted every aspect of my life and although I’ve seemingly bounced back a very long time ago. Anyone that knows me would be shocked at the level of despair and depression I’ve been in for years."
"No one would ever know everything looks good on the outside. At this point I can barely remember much about the guy — yet I feel like he defines my entire adult life. I’m stuck on the loss of what could’ve been. It has nothing to do even do with him at this point, it’s more of what he represented. Time I will never get back, mistakes I’ve made."
"I beat myself up over the time I lost, the opportunities I missed and for not being able to just pick myself up and fully move on. It’s very painful to face wasted time and yet to continue not to live in the moment. And the years decades of hiding and pretending like all is well is maddening. The pandemic has made me face this head on and it hasn’t been pretty being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for listening." ~ Due-Time-8151
"That I had the biggest crush on my best friend back during high school and about a year after or so. I’m pretty sure she’s connected the dots ever since I told her and my close group of friends that I’m bi, but we’ve never discussed it and I hope we never do. It’d just be kinda awkward and there’s no point doing so." ~ good-ol-beat
StayGIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
"If my ex husband had only said once 'I love you and I don’t want to break up, let’s work on it,' I would have stayed married." ~ landofmold
Don't harbor shame. Shame is not a secret to hold. If you need help don't be afraid to ask. You're not alone. And tell the truth about love.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Sometimes it's time to stop the world for a few minutes, relax, and unwind. Slip into a warm bath or have a nice glass of wine on the side to really drive that comfort and relaxation home.
We work ourselves to death most days without any acknowledgment for the absolute limit to which we are pushing our bodies. With the world constantly swirling around us as this happens, it can feel a little like there is no respite.
That's why we need to learn things that really comfort us. About the world, about other people, whatever. We need some comfort to take so that we can bring some stillness into our crazy world.
Redditor lofisky asked:
"What are some very comforting facts?"
Here were some of those answers.
Thanks For Not Hating Me
"That dogs usually understand that you stepping on their tail is an accident."-CyanBlue78
"I hope so, since they’re always underfoot when cooking."
"Our prior dog was a chihuahua who lived to be 16, and no matter how many times he got stepped on would still stay underfoot when cooking."
"He must have figured the benefit of getting a scrap of food that wasn’t a vegetable was worth the risk."-EmperorPenguinNJ
Oh Well The Country Will Survive, So *Phew*
"Scientists highly doubt that yellowstone will ever have another supereruption. In fact, it's unclear if it even has enough magma beneath its caldera to erupt again at all, let alone have a supereruption."-thecyriousone
"That's good to know because this was a weird fear of mine as a kid, despite living no where close to Yellowstone and having never visited it."-BlackbirdKnowsAll
Use What Ya Got
"Sesame Street writes real life events into their plot lines a lot. For example when one of the actors died, they killed off his character and had an episode to teach kids about grief."
"One of the child actresses quit so she could go to college, and they had her character do the same and had a going away party for her on the show itself. It’s kind of heartwarming."
"Also Sesame Street has been on air for so long that there was an episode about that character’s mom being pregnant. The actress’s childhood was basically a wholesome version of the Truman Show."-Savitribaii
Do you already feel some of the tension beginning to lift out of your body?
"A study with rats showed that empathy is a shared trait among mammals. When two rats were tested with one being stuck in a plastic trap, the other rat usually became distressed and freed it really quickly."
"'The rescuers did not seem to have an ulterior motive for freeing their trapped cage-mate: they continued to do so even when the experimental set-up was changed so that the two rats would not be able to benefit from touching and interacting after the liberation.'"
"'Moreover, the plaintive calls of the trapped rat were too infrequent to suggest that the free rat acted simply to get some peace and quiet.'"
"They also did another test where the rat could choose between chocolate or freeing their trapped companion, they would free the trapped rat AND share some of the chocolate with them."
"'Most surprisingly, says Bartal, although the liberator could choose to eat all the chocolate before freeing their cage-mate, they were more likely to share.'"
"'“They were very generous. It is really impressive for rats,” says Bartal. “It would be impressive for people too.”'"
Great Now Let's Get Rid Of It
"In 1820, 94% of the world's population lived in extreme poverty. In 1990, 34.8%, and in 2015, just 9.6%. Within the last 100 years we've almost eradicated extreme poverty."
"Absolutely insane to think how long humans have lived on this planet and just how far we've come in the last 100 years."-PainAndAbel
Dyin' Ain't So Bad
"I’m sure it varies by person, but I went into brief cardiac arrest, and it was similar to falling asleep. When I came to, it was more 'that was it?' than anything."
"I did make some pretty significant changes in diet and exercise afterward. I even lost about 40 lbs! But the truth is there wasn’t any of the grand catharsis you see in movies."
"Even though I gained a change in perspective, there was no instant improvement in character or huge jump in maturity. It was more of a nudge in the right direction rather than a shove into the light."
"The experience is much more mundane than you’d think, but that’s the reason I believe it was so impactful. I didn’t stress about work as much."
"I didn’t worry about how people perceived me as much. Because I saw how it all ends, and it’s nothing to lose sleep over. So now after 2 years of progress, I don’t really lose sleep over anything. It’s nice."-FrostedBanner
Made Of Starstuff
"You are entirely composed of things that were forged in the bellies of long dead stars. It took billions of years to make the basic blocks from which you are built."
"You are not a passenger in this great universe, you are a reflection of its awesome, immeasurable, infinite possibilities."-The_Squiggy
A sigh of relief is already forming in your guts as you read each fact.
Ignorance And Want
"Overall, we humans are living in the most peaceful, most advanced, most rich world we have ever known."
"Of course there are pockets of violence, ignorance and want. The rest of us can use our gifts to help those in need. Don't give in to the merchants of despair."-Mokurai
More Positivity Needed
"Data has shown that, statistically speaking, crime is trending down. Studies have also shown that negative events stick out more to the human psyche because, evolutionarily speaking, that can help you survive."
"Sure, remembering the cute butterflies 50k years ago might have been pleasant to your ancestors. But is as useful as remembering that their friend got eaten by a bear that lived near that butterfly?"
"So while the world seems like it’s going to sh*t, that’s only because evolution has crafted your brain to remember negative events more prominently."
"And because of the rise of the 24/7, worldwide news cycle that brings you all of the terrible things happening across the planet in nearly real-time. The world is slowly but surely improving, little by little and day by day."-modsareflaccid
"My pet fish have a bedtime. To further explain, fish, like most animals, have a circadian rhythm. This means they generally need to sleep and be awake at around the same times every day."
"I see this quite easily in my fish tank because when I turn the lights off in the tank and room then come back 30 minutes later, the fish have fallen asleep."
"It is easiest to see in my neon tetras. Normally they are bright orange and blue and they are super active. But when they sleep they become almost transparent and they will sort of hover in the same spot."
"Eventually if I leave the light on enough they wake up but because I want them to be comfortable, I try to keep the lights off once they go to bed."-ET318
Perhaps the most comforting bit about all these facts? They quite literally keep the world running. So they're not just comforting, they're also necessary.
The world needs comfort to function.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Everyone has an opinion and apparently that opinion is golden advice. (Two different things)
You can give opinions, but know what you're saying and sharing.
Advice is more... heavy. It's definitive.
So beware and take "advice" with a grain of salt.
Redditor PsychedelicAirFusion wanted to hear about the times other people should've just stayed quiet with their opinions, by asking:
"What's the worst advice you have received?"
I try to just give my thoughts. I always preface... "I just think," and then I alone own it. And if they don't agree, then no one is hurt. We can't live each other's lives.
Pain Managementhead feels GIFGiphy
"Surgeon - The pains I’m feeling are normal and he doesn’t need to see me until a follow up 6 months later and I can have my staples removed at any health clinic. I almost died from sepsis. It took 12 weeks to recover from this." ~ Valen258
Not the Fix
"Talking to a friend about some normal relationship problems, college age boyfriend-girlfriend, and she suggested getting pregnant to fix it and win all the arguments. (By way of poking holes in condoms after I said we weren’t into trying for a baby and he’s adamantly anti-child). She had a baby at 16 and I never judge anyone for having a kid that young, but I have an inkling of why and how she did it now. Also, after that red flag we did not remain friends." ~ saturnspritr
National Park visitors Center...
"Best and worst from same person. Wife and I hiked from our campsite to National Park visitors Center. It took us almost 2 hours with temperatures in high 90s F (30+ C). We saw no other hikers because no one else was that stupid. We were exhausted. Park Ranger told us we should always bring snacks (nuts, fruit etc) as water is not enough. That was good advice. Then suggested that I hike back on my own to get the car and return for my wife! Bad advice." ~ antmakka
"Don't study Computer Sciences. Everybody will do it, the market will be saturated and you will have a tough time finding a job." (my parents around 2010)." ~ CrystalButcher
"Ha! I got pretty much the same advice, but it was 'don't do computer programming; you're too personable. You should do sales."'
"It probably set me back 10 years doing sales jobs I hated until I got back into software development. Not sure why I listened to those people." ~ JohnBarnson
Know your worth...The Office Boss GIFGiphy
"Never ask for a raise. Your supervisor should be able to see if you are working hard and give you a raise when the time is right. SMH." ~ julianned32
See there? A lot of ruin. You don't have to take advice. Oh my... that is good advice.
WTF?Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
“Just down a bottle of vodka and punch yourself in the stomach” - a friend when I thought I was pregnant." ~ Space-cash
"Don't do something if you're not good at it. Listen kid, that is so wrong you don't even know." ~ subscribe_for_facts
"Having perfectionist parents I was basically raised to believe this. I'm in my mid twenties and trying so hard to break out of it. It's given me a lot of resentment towards my parents for never letting me learn to do things I wasn't immediately good at or just trying new things in general." ~ Chanmanklein
“turbo boosters engaged”
"A friend told me that if I fart during sex, I could save face by saying 'turbo boosters engaged' and then pound faster and harder. Once I started having sex I realized how normal noises are and I stopped caring. But I guess he was just trying to be a bro." ~ Christophisatitagain
"Noises sure but don't fart on them during." ~ CaptainHindsight92
"When I went to college on the Pell grant, which basically covered the tuition for each semester and there was an extra $1000 left over for books and whatnot. Also available to me was a $5000 loan each semester, which I didn't need. After the first year, my father said "'take the loans too, if you get a civil service job, you can have the loans forgiven.' Fast forward 15 years and I still have $25K worth of student loans I never needed to take. :( " ~ odenwalder1
"My mom was persuaded"
"I was told by a guidance counselor as an incoming freshman (who didn't know me from anyone else, by the way) that taking more than one honors course plus being in band was too much. My mom was persuaded. I had to fight both of them to ignore the advice."
"I ended up taking every honors and AP course possible throughout high school, finishing with a perfect 4.0 GPA, then doing the same in college. Don't take advice on what you should or shouldn't do from someone who doesn't know you. Always take into account your personal strengths and weaknesses when considering any advice in life." ~ Kooky_Finding8516
MedsSeason 2 Nbc GIF by New AmsterdamGiphy
"‘Don’t go on meds, just exercise’ for depression. Meds ended up practically saving my life." ~ Introvertedpanda3
Let's all try to just live our best lives. That is not an easy mission.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.