Man Postpones Wedding To Live With Ex Wife To Support Her Through Cancer Treatment, And His Fiancée Is Conflicted
But what would you do in this situation? Someone is clearly in need of help, but someone else's needs are being ignored.
u/engagedthrowaway---- told us the tale:
My [26F] fiance's [28M] ex-wife [28F] has cancer. He's moved in with her and postponed our wedding.
"Max" and I dated for two years and have been engaged for 9 months, with the wedding date set for early January. We have a healthy, honest relationship, and I've never had any reason to doubt him.
He and "Caroline" were high school sweethearts who married very young (They were both twenty-two, right out of college). They divorced after two years. Max told me that they got married too quickly and didn't realise how different their relationship would be in the "real world," i.e. when they were both working full-time jobs and struggling to pay the rent. They split up on good terms, but didn't keep in touch. He remained in our home city, while she pursued a modelling career and began travelling extensively.
Three months ago, Caroline contacted Max over Facebook out of the blue, saying she was in town and wanted to meet for coffee. He agreed. Over coffee, she told him that she had recently been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Her odds of survival were low, but she was determined to fight it through surgery and chemo. She said that all she wanted was for Max to be by her side throughout her treatment.
Caroline's parents died shortly after she married Max. She has no siblings and the rest of her family lives overseas. She described Max as the closest thing to family she has left.
I absolutely sympathise with Caroline. The next day Max had her over to our apartment and she was completely lovely, clearly trying very hard to be optimistic even in the face of her life potentially ending before she turns 30. I feel terrible for her and for the situation that she's in, and I fully supported Max being there for her.
Her first surgery was later that month. Max flew across the country (we live on the east coast, she's on the west) and checked into a hotel a few minutes from her apartment. He's a writer, so working from his laptop is no issue. We spoke on the phone or on Skype almost every day for the two weeks he was over there.
Caroline had her surgery at the beginning of June. Unfortunately, it was not entirely successful. Her doctors moved to the next method, chemo.
Max came home after her surgery to tell me this. He explained that Caroline's treatment plan was set to begin in July and end in late January. It would be an incredibly difficult time period for her, and she wanted him with her at all times.
We can't afford to pay for a hotel until January, so he moved into her apartment, sleeping on her sofa. He's been there for the past month and we continue to Skype, though only a couple times a week now. When we spoke yesterday, Max gently told me that based on Caroline's condition, he wouldn't feel right leaving her so close to the end of her treatment. He'd like for us to postpone the wedding until February, at the very least, so that he can stay with her until her treatment is over.
I'm so conflicted. I feel awful for resenting Caroline at all - she has cancer! She's suffering immensely. But the resentment is still there. I resent her for needing Max constantly holding her hand, as though she has absolutely no friends of her own. I resent Max, too, for agreeing to this situation. We won't be seeing each other in person for months now, on top of our wedding being postponed.
I don't know what to do. I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel. Right now I'm just full of anger and guilt, and I don't know how to explain it to anyone else in my life.
Here were some of the answers.
He's intending on living with his ex until February?
And you are to do what? Just wait?
No, your resentment and discomfort is not wrong.
I feel intense sympathy for her, for your partner, absolutely. Death is a terrifying cold thing.
But he's supposed to be with you. It was not her right to ask him to be with her as a husband is through this horror.
(Did she ask you?)
My fear is...okay, so February comes, her chemo's done, now she's weak and miserable from chemo. Is he going to leave her then, feeling like that?
He should not have asked you over Skype. He should have been there in person.
When is the next time you are supposed to see him?
You have the right to resent Max, he picked his ex-wife over his fiance.
He may 'feel' like he has a responsibility to her but he has a responsibility to his future wife. He is asking you to put your life on hold for his ex-wife.
You absolutely have the right to feel angry about this.
Can you see yourself marrying him after this?
I've read your edit, and I think you also need to confront the lack of communication as well. I don't understand how Max is unable to Skype you or call you on google hangouts at least everyday. Even if it's going on while he's working on writing, at least you would have time to see him online. It seems ridiculous that you can't just get a hold of him when you need to, while Caroline can.
I think all of you painting Caroline as if she did something wrong are stupid. Max deserves 100% of the blame. Caroline is allowed to ask whoever she wants whatever she wants to ask them.
Max is allowed to say "no, ex-wife, I won't leave my wife-to-be for you, not now, not ever", and not face any judgement, because what an absurd thing that is to do.
OP, I don't know how you can possibly recover from this one. You are not selfish to leave this relationship. You are not selfish to tell him he comes home right now or it's over. You're not selfish to resent him or her for what they've put on you, but you should make sure you understand that HE is 100% to blame for this. He, at every moment along this path, should've taken a look around and realized he was engaged to you, not her, and it is not his fault that she has no one closer than him.
Also, he's literally living with his ex-wife. Can you imagine any circumstance where a guy leaves his fiancee to live with his ex-wife and they aren't, at the very least, cuddling and extremely emotionally intimate?
I'd be done with him, if I was you, what an obscenely selfish man.
Her request that he pick up his life and live with her indefinitely is extremely unreasonable. She will likely die, but what if she hangs on for years of painful treatment? Will he be expected to be there through all that? Will you be expected to just wait it out and not start your married life? And I know you say she sees him as family, but she's not treating him well at all if she's asking him to completely derail his future to provide her with a better present.
Yes, she has cancer and that's awful. But that does not give her license to hijack your husband. Her expectations are outrageous, but your husband is the real problem. Not only has he abandoned you physically, but he hardly ever contacts you. He gives Caroline 24/7 attention but can't be bothered to skype with you every day? Dude....
I had a similar situation like this with a cousin of mine. He was dying of cancer and he moved in with his ex-wife and his ex-wife's current husband. And she took care of him until he passed away. And that was really all there was to it. So it could be a legitimate show of compassion.
But you are in a unique situation with you not living in the same place as him as well as not being married. My sympathies are with you and I hope you find your way.
He's honestly acting like he's still married to her. Please be careful and anticipate him maybe turning around and telling you he's fallen in love with her again. Also prepare yourself to deal with a heavily broken fiance once she passes. He's getting too involved in this, good terms or no. Even if she is sick, they no longer have wedding vows. They're divorced. Yet, he's still up keeping his "in sickness and in health" portion of the vow. That's incredibly unfair to you. It's incredibly rude and inconsiderate of her to just call upon your fiance to take of her because she's sick. I understand she has no one, but she's disrupting your future with your fiance.
A lot of couples realize they committed too young, split, and remain close friends. It's normal for friends to support one another and it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to stay a little while to help her make arrangements and get settled. Especially if she doesn't have a huge support network.
But moving in with her and pushing your wedding back? What about YOU? What about your relationship and your future and what about what you need? What if you should get sick or injured while he's living there? You've been completely supplanted and truthfully, if I were you, I probably would end the relationship.
It might be over by January/February, and he might come home by then. So, you get to be all alone for the next 4-5 months, doing all the wedding planning and prep yourself? Just in time for him to bop home and put the ring on your finger?
And are your finances combined? Is some of your money being used to pay for all the trips?
How much do you want to bet that his ex will beg him to stay after this round of treatment is up? She feels so weak, so sick, he's like her family. Riiiight. So, what, then you get to postpone the wedding?
Balls to that.
He needs to get his *ss on a plane and return now. It's not your problem, nor your husband's problem, to make her feel better. Maybe she should've made more of an effort to maintain strong relationships and a good support network of family and friends. This is YOUR TIME with YOUR fiancé. He can Skype her and visit every few months, but that's it. Seriously, he expects you to put your lives together on hold? F***ing seriously? You're not a 1950s housewife of a military man who has been deployed.
They did not keep in contact. That she is demanding him to be there for her is utterly selfish. She had a good life, traveled a lot. I am sure she made good friends.
I don't think he is closer to her than her relatives. It is not his duty to be there for her. If even the relatives cannot come to visit her, why should he?
Also, postponing the wedding would not be an option for me.
There is no reason that he has to spend all that tine before the wedding with her. If she were important, they would have stayed in touch.
I lost a friend through cancer - but not once was she this demanding at any time.
You should set clear boundaries with your future husband.
The worst human beings are those who cloak it behind a facade of righteousness.
"Oh, I'll ditch my fiance for a year to live with a model whom I used to have sex with. But I'm totally a great guy, because she has cancer."
sad trombone noise
Max is living with his ex. She was his first love. She is probably dying of cancer. Oh yea, she's also beautiful enough to have traveled the world through modeling. Sorry girl, but there is no way they haven't slept together. While her situation is very sad, it is completely unreasonable for Max to ask that you put your relationship and life on hold until she recovers or passes. If she recovers, they'll get back together. If she dies, he'll be heartbroken. In neither situation do you get the man that you once wanted to marry.
If I were you I would probably just chose to break up with him. Honestly, he does not seem like he is in a good place to be married and traumatic experience like these can make emotions and feeling very confusing. I would just remove myself from the picture and tell him to go.
I mean, I would personally not fly out to stay with someone unless they were for sure terminal. Because once you're terminal they pump you full of needs until you pass. But since she isn't terminal yet, he should just visit and not stay with her. Because she could possibly live through it or not, but it's not his responsibility to her to wait it out. It would be too emotionally draining and could bring up false emotions. I don't think either of them had bad intentions with this, but it can't easily turn into a sticky situation. I would have him return home until she had gone terminal and then go from there.
One of my best friends, Dave, was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer in March, he passed away last month. Throughout the end of his life his former life partner, Lindsey, was by his side as much as she could be, which was extremely challenging for her because she was also planning her wedding, which happened the weekend after he passed. Her husband to be, Dan, supported Lindsey and Dave as much as they could as Dave transitioned out of his life. It was extremely challenging for everyone. I don't know if Lindsey was still in love with Dave, although she clearly loved him deeply. How could she not? They spent so much of their lives as team mates, they knew each other so well. Beyond their romance was a genuine deep connection. There was no way Lindsey would have not been there for him. If Dan had asked her not to I don't know if they could have continued on in their relationship.
I don't think he would have asked that of her though. There is something extremely sacred about a person's death that kind of...cancels out all the other bullshit. When someone you love or have loved is leaving this planet the right thing to do is to be there for them and hold their hand while they go through the pain, the loss, and the passing. That is the right thing for him to do.
I don't know what the nature of your relationship with your husband is, how you deal with jealousy specifically, but I do know that the death of a loved one comes above all else. I think you should support him as much as he needs it. He needs to be there for her, he has made that clear. Try not to take it as a you versus her decision. This is very very different than any of the other decisions he has to make about your relationship. Because, it's not about your relationship... it's about her leaving this world... one of the most powerful experiences this life has to offer...
This isn't to say that you should be excluded or closed off from him. He needs to include you, his current partner, in this process with his former partner. Can you handle that? These are new territories for you, him, and her. Maybe you can all work together to process this together? You don't have to be excluded from this and I'm sure your husband would benefit from your support.
I'm so sorry you're all going through this. I'd love to talk more with you about this and what my friends went through, as I was very close with Dave. PM me if you want to talk.
I've ended a long term relationship with an ex-fiancé before. We had dated from high school into our mid-twenties. Neither of were closed to our families and for a long time, we were each other's worlds.
Then we grew up and our worlds grew bigger. One day, she wanted to go left and I wanted to go right so we split.
I loved her and part of me will always wonder what could have been.
Years later, she called me in a crisis. A new relationship had gone south in a tragic way. A child had been conceived, abuse, two thousand miles from home and no money.
This was my opportunity to show her, to show myself, that I was better than she believed. That I was strong enough to rescue her and could finally silence all doubts cast by her, her friends, her family,
So I left my house, took time off work, kissed my wonderful girlfriend on the cheek and drove two thousand miles and moved her and the child two thousand miles home.
It was dumb but it was also something that I needed to do. See, it wasn't about sex. It wasn't about her. It was about rescuing someone that represented my youth and carefree days that we're starting to seem so distant the longer I spent working late nights in an office. It was about proving to myself that i was dependable, strong, and capable. And part of it was because I still loved her.
Maybe your fiancé is dumb like I was. Maybe he's scared that you two will soon marry and he left his last marriage in failure. Maybe he sees this as a chance to prove something or fix something he can't quite put into words. Maybe he still loves his ex like I loved mine... Not in that romantic or sexual way but like some cherished memento of something that once was.
I don't know. I guess I'm saying is before you go issue an ultimatum, you two should talk about why he's doing this. I promise you, it's not sex.
People hard up for cash will do anything. But what about the other way around?
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
"I rented my chicken to a photographer for fifty bucks."
Gotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Everyone talks about how the 20s are supposed to be the time of our lives. And that's largely true. But it's not all wine and roses.
Among all the freedom and youthful exuberance, so many people spend that decade struggling through the chaos of having absolutely no idea what their passion is.
And when we've internalized the desire to find an occupation that aligns with our values, sounds cool to talk about, and provides us with existential fulfillment, it can be difficult to identify the perfect fit.
So we hum along rather aimlessly.
Thankfully, some people do find their vocation and hunker down. But for others, it takes a little longer.
Perhaps struggling to locate that ideal passion, Redditor wibly_wobly_kid asked:
"People who discovered their passion at a later stage of life, what is it and how did you figure it out?"
Many people talked about making a career switch when they least expected. For the longest time, they new they didn't enjoy their work, but they didn't know what to do instead.
Hiding In Plain Sight
"I went to college twice in my early 20s for journalism and communications, but never graduated. I spent the rest of my 20s in a dead end food service job, miserable and angry at myself. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life"
"My extended family has lots of little ones (cousins having cousins) and every time there was a family get together, I always found myself playing with and entertaining the kids. One day, my uncle pointed out how good I was with kids, and did I ever consider working with them? I laughed it off but later thought 'hey, I have nothing better going on. What's the harm in researching a bit?' "
"I found out I could become an early childhood educator, working in daycares or kindergarten classes. So I applied to a couple of colleges and got in right away (applied on a Monday and got accepted the Friday). I quit my dead-end job and focused entirely on school. I made the dean's list all 4 semesters (something I have never done), and aced all my classes."
"I had a placement at a daycare/before and after school card place, and they hired me right after I finished my placement. So now I'm working there and happier than I ever was in my 20s"
Never Too Late
"Law. I was 45 when I went back to school. I'd worked blue collar jobs all my life, was a high school dropout. My daughter started taking paralegal classes and I thought, 'I could do that.' "
"So I got my GED and signed up for a 2-year paralegal certificate program through the local community college. Fell in love with law. Also discovered I was good at it. I had several professors who were lawyers tell me I'd be wasted as a paralegal and should go to law school."
"So I transferred to a 4-year school. Worked full time through undergrad and graduated with honors. Got into law school. I graduated law school at 55, oldest in my class. But I'd gone from being a high school dropout to a lawyer in just 10 years."
"Passed the California bar first try and I've been a public defender ever since, which is the only thing I ever wanted to do with it. I'm 60 now but I'm healthy and energetic and have a lot of years left. I love what I do, I'm very good at it, and it's the best move I ever made."
Every Week an Achievement
"Was 39 when I took a temp job in a social services type industry. Just basic stuff."
"Realised after a couple of years that I'd circled back to my idealistic 17yo self's plan for my career. Spent the previous 20 working sh** jobs I hated."
"Turns out it's really important to do something that aligns with your values. Finish the week feeling like I've contributed to society, rather than working to screw people for money."
Others discussed the passions they've discovered outside of their working life. These won't bring home any income, but their importance to life satisfaction cannot be understated.
"My dad discovered his life's biggest passion at 67. Mountain climbing. Serious mountaineering."
"He climbed Kilimanjaro and Whitney just months apart."
Plenty More Shredding In Store
"I started Rollerskating (on ramps) just before I turned 40 , it's never too late to start, you just need more safety gear :)"
"I've been doing it for years now I'm in my mid 40s and still rollin. It makes me a bit sad I didn't start when I was younger, but I reckon i've got another ten years left in me."
Moving the Needle On Women's Pockets
"Sewing/tailoring clothes. On a whim I took a class at a local community center and got hooked. After learning some basics in the class and following some YouTube videos I can make a passable pair of pants/trousers and basic shirts. I'm lucky that my local library had sewing machines you could check out so I didn't need to commit any real money early on."
"The best thing to come out of learning this new skill was making a pair of pants with actual pockets for my wife. Guys, you have not seen joy until you see your wife get a pair of functional custom pants with human-sized pockets. I thought her head was going to explode she was so happy."
Keep an Ear Out for Jingles
"I always wanted to learn an instrument that wasn't academic related."
"Over COVID lockdown I picked up the guitar."
"I picked it up pretty quick. So I learned the drums."
"Now I'm finishing building a music studio. I wanna write commercial jingles and just throw a bunch of sh** online for fun"
Unexpected, But Sounds Awesome
"I'm 31, but one year ago I discovered camels. Now I own three. I love them 🥰" -- ZhenHen
"I assume you are not talking about cigarettes, so how does one acquire not only one but three camels? Where do you live? How much did they cost? I'm very intrigued." -- dufresne90
"When you're into camels, every day is Hump Day." -- HolIerer
And a few put a finer point on the nature of that work vs. hobbies dynamic. They assured that one's professional career doesn't necessarily have to provide all the fulfillment they're looking for.
Sometimes, we just need to punch the clock.
Earning Free Time
"PSA: you don't have to be passionate about your job. Your passion can be a hobby you do in your free time. I don't think I will ever find a vocational passion."
"Used to think I was broken because of that but really there is no requirement to be head over heels about what puts money on the table and food in the pocket!"
Career's Moving, Still Painting
"Late 40s here. Got a book called Learn to Draw in 30 Days about 4 years ago. Then about 3 years ago I heard about #the100daychallenge where the goal is to create art every day for 100 days. I never stopped and made it a goal to hit 1000 days."
"In that time, I won contests, got about two hundred commissions, raised over $5000 for a charity, and had a great time. When I hit the 1000 days back in December, I decided to go back to college and get an art degree. I signed up for classes and talked with my manager at work to see how much they would pay for college, she was excited that I was going to get a business degree and said she'd work on getting all of the classes covered."
"Free college became too tempting to pass up so now I'm planning on getting the business degree and then on to law school because they'll pay for that too. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 and I'm on day 1136 of my non-stop painting journey."
So if you're still looking around for your passion and feeling discouraged, rest assured that it might come your way when you least expect it.
And life is long, my friends.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Don't disturb my beauty sleep! That's the one rule I have––and thankfully I live alone, so there isn't anyone to bother me, which is fabulous. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to getting woken up in the middle of the night. The worst way I can think of off the top of my head? The time a drunk guy wandered into my friend's yard and started banging on the window while I was trying to sleep. It was 3 a.m. The incident also gave me the fright of my life!
People told us about the experiences that yanked them out of dreamland after Redditor GratefulD_86 asked the online community,
"What is the worst way you've been woken up?"
"By raw sewage pouring through my ceiling (in my bedroom) from my upstairs neighbor.
He partied and ripped the toilet out of the floor, then continued using it. Took maintenance almost 16 hours to show up and turn off the flow."
"I literally didn't even know..."
"Cops beating on my door to search my house for someone I was hiding. I literally didn't even know the person."
Terrifying. This could have ended very badly.
"Cops busted down my door..."
"Cops busted down my door to take me to jail for having meth except. They had the wrong house."
"Neighbor decided to hang shelves in her bathroom after midnight and drilled into our shared wall. Scared the crap out of me."
The walls do indeed have ears.
"The phone woke me up..."
"The phone woke me up a little after midnight. I was informed that my mother had died. It was not totally unexpected. Her health had been declining.
I still dread hearing the phone ring late at night."
"A cockroach entering my mouth on my first day of camp."
"Police department knocking..."
"Police department knocking on my door at 2 a.m. saying the meth lab across the street might blow up so we needed to get out ASAP."
Is this a deleted episode of Breaking Bad?
"My cats were chasing each other..."
"My cats were chasing each other and one ran across my face while I was sleeping. The scratches were pretty bad all across one side of my face. It was the day before my senior prom too, so I ended up having a scratched-up face for that. I still have a scar right by my eye."
Cats are always at their most unpredictable very late at night!
"My Dad would keep a bag of marbles in the freezer. If you didn't wake up the first time, he dumped them into your bed."
"The neighbor in the building across from us..."
"Glass shattering. Lived in a 6 story apartment building. The neighbor in the building across from us was having some kind of psychotic break and was throwing everything he could get his hands on off his balcony. He was aiming for the windows of other apartments. We were far enough away to not get hit but watching that go down was not super fun."
We don't envy anyone of these people. Hopefully their lives have been filled with plenty of glorious, uninterrupted sleep since.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
I love food! Maybe a little too much. It's been an especially amorous relationship over this pandemic. And I know I'm not alone.
All of our palettes are tuned to our own personal tastes. And sometimes certain items and combinations of tastes can leave others less than enticed.
I've lost track of all the side-eye I've gotten when I declare how much I enjoy PINEAPPLE on pizza. I said it. I meant it. Fight me. Let's discuss who else has eclectic tastes.
Redditor u/CatVideoFest wanted to discuss the mixing of certain ingredients that don't leave the best taste in one's mouth by asking:
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!Mom Smile GIFGiphy
"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzlebacon GIFGiphy
"I do not like bacon."
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
Blasphemy!golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
"Cheesecake is disgusting."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slimeman oyster GIFGiphy
"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.