Not everyone is meant for the water. Certain people should just stay far away from a public pool- they're already germy and full of screaming children. The best solution would just be to get their own pool. Or a kiddie pool. Or just a bathtub. Whatever it is, stay away from the community pool.
Reddit user alipoop asked:
Lifeguards of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've seen someone do in the water?
Are you serious?
"We once had a man come into our pool for lane swim."
"He had all the latest gear, brand new suit, cap and goggles."
"He got to the edge of the deck and did some arm circles, adjusted his goggles and dove into the pool."
"He popped up for a few seconds then promptly started flailing and gasping for breath."
"A colleague jumped in and pulled him out immediately."
"We were all really confused until he told us he had never swam before and he thought it came naturally."- shann-tastic
Some people will do anything for attention.
"Fake drowning by a woman who admitted that she wanted my attention. I wanted to drown her."- Mentalfloss1Giphy
You know you can buy oxygen, right?
"A lady once had an asthma attack so we put her on the oxygen only to find out that her oxy saturation levels were at 100%, turns out she just wanted an oxygen high."- ohshitaratoohhhshit
Thank goodness she had that life jacket.
"Life guarding was my first job when I was 16."
"I watched a little girl around 9-10 years of age dive head first, with a life jacket on, into a kitty pool of about 6 inches."
"Needless to say, she smoked her dome and I had to patch up a little cut on her forehead."- plain_ass_usernameGiphy
We love a witty lifeguard.
"Couple having sex in the water."
"Not as fun as you would think though."
"There's lots of kids around."
"We'd yell that 'this is a family facility, not a family making facility' and they'd always stop."- fellowneighbour
Somehow so smart yet so dumb.
"On the hottest day of the year when we were short on guards, we paid a guy 5 bucks to s**t in the pool so we could clear it for an hour to clean."- jackaloper92
Kids today and their anarchy.
"I worked 3 years as a lifeguard for my local community center."
"Our place was somewhat unique as we both had an indoor pool and water park, complete with water slide and other such things."
"There were also containers filled with pool toys and other things like life preservers, life vests, and kick boards."
"One day, while I was on break, my supervisor comes running into the break room and tells all of us (there were three of us on break) to come help control a situation in the water park area."
"Apparently, one of the summer camps' kids had rallied enough kids together and coordinated them into constructing makeshift rafts with all the pool equipment."
"By the time we made it out on deck, they had already made a motley fleet of boats pieced together with pool noodles, life jackets, and other floating toys."
"The issue however was not that they had Macgyvered this little fleet, but how the camp had split into factions and begun an all-out naval engagement in the pool."
"Pool noodles were now being used as makeshift water cannons, and things only escalated from there."Giphy
"Some of the kids had broken into our supply closet and found our stash of other water toys, super soakers, water balloons, etc., and came whooping out onto the deck."
"A few of the kids made armor out of the kick boards and vests and were wielding the buoys we use for water aerobics like clubs."
"Others had taken the water balloons to the top of the water slide and were lobbing them off in some crude bid for air superiority."
"This one girl had taken her camp shirt and tied it to a pool skimmer, waving it like a flag and yelling 'FOR THE KING! FOR THE KING!'
"It took thirty minutes to regain control of the situation, in which time one of the guards required stitches due to being pistol whipped with a water gun by an overzealous 11 year old."
"We never did invite that camp back."- RorschachtheMighty
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...
The cycle begins.
"I once watched as another guard jumped in then performed a front active rescue."
"As she pulled the victim up he threw up all over her."
"Leading her to throw up all over him."
"And then back and forth."
"Causing both of them to start drowning."
"Then I jumped in from the other side did a rear active rescue on my own coworker as another guard saved the original victim."
"Awkward day..."- joepbrett
That can't be comfortable.
"I was a lifeguard at a camp, and this Pentecostal church came to stay, about 500 of them."
"Even in the pool, the boys would wear slacks and a belt."
"No shirt, but they'd be wearing their tan slacks, and brown belt."
"Blew my mind."- BryceGlass
Not that hunky.
"Was a lifeguard at an indoor apartment pool."
"One lady was mostly paralyzed on one side."
"She also could not swim in deep water."
"So, lady would do laps in the shallow end, but because of the paralysis, would end up swimming into the deep end where she would promptly panic."
"She did this over and over and over."
Probably these days, twenty years later, I would ban her from the pool."
"But I was a teenager at the time who certainly did not want to make any waves, so I ended up making literal waves regularly to save her."
"I would suggest that she liked being saved by the hunky lifeguard to deliberately drown herself so regularly, but I'm not that hunky."- Knave7575Giphy
"I worked at a college pool so we had a standard Olympic sized high dive."
" I had to tell a kid that was at least 11-12 yrs old not sit under the board and drink the water falling off the people about to jump."
"I can't imagine how much a**/foot/b*lls water that kid ingested."
"It was sick."- flamingbirdsonfire69
Are you sure that wasn't a rabbit in a bikini?
"Not really in the water technically but still a head scratcher."
"Used to work at a very high end gym back in college."
"You could pay annually ~$1000 or monthly to the tune of about $120."
"Had a regular who would come in late afternoons every sat and sun to our outdoor pool."
"This lady was absolutely stunning."
"Maybe early 30's and the physique of a super model."
"Always wore a super tight purple bikini and lounged out on the stone wall encompassing the hot tub."
"Never actually in the hot tub but would lie on her back along the wall."
"Made it really hard as a 20 year old male lifeguard to concentrate on the people in the water.'
"Thank god for sunglasses."
"It was also hard to remain focused on the other patrons as this lady would proceed to then one-by-one pick the leaves off the shrub next to the wall, eat them, and hold a conversation with herself while staring into the sky."
"As the leaves would start to dwindle on that particular shrub over the course of the week, she'd move farther along down the wall and start on the next one."
"This continued every summer for about 2 years until I left for the military."
"Wherever you are lady, I hope you're doing well outside of your career calling as a deer or rabbit."
"There was also the man who got pissed when we closed the waterslide for the night so he went over to the children's wading section, took a big dump, and ran, fleeing out the side gates."
"Jokes on you buddy, we got to shut down for the day and got paid to f*ck around on my phone in the guard office."- S-S-Stumbles
No bricks allowed.
"Late to the party but I was a lifeguard for about 6 years."
"About half of my job was telling people, "as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand or seaweed at the beach (it's crowded are you serious?!)"
"This one guy shouts back, 'can I throw bricks?'"
"My out-loud response was to ask if he had any bricks on him at the moment."
"He insisted he didn't have any on him, but could go out to his truck and get a bunch."
"I responded into the megaphone, 'as a reminder, please do not throw any of the rocks, sand, seaweed or bricks at the beac'".
'We both yucked it up a bit and went back to our respective lives'."- MrOwlsManyLicksGiphy
"Worked as an open water lifeguard last year, and worked on a 100m long inflatable assault course."
"Throughout the hottest parts of the summer, seaweed would often be found along the edges and safety straps, the course was made out of multiple inflatable obstacles fastened together, and it was our job every morning to clean this."
"Sometimes spots were missed, as we had about 30 minutes for just one of us, the task ran on a rota, so a different person did it each day, to clean the entire park."
"Halfway through one day, a dad and his son find a strap covered in seaweed and jellyfish eggs."
"Usually people recoil and stay away upon touching the stuff, but instead these two pull the seaweed and eggs off the strap and throw it back and forth at each other for about half an hour."
"Was weird to watch, and kinda disgusting."- marcus__lfc
Literally seeing Red!
"A woman was dying her hair in the hot tub! "
'Everything was red.'
The stories are endless
"I see a whole lot at my resort park.'
"Guests wearing masks above their noses, letting the water in, doing god knows WHAT kinds of strokes."
"Dead man floating etc."
"The one thing that is probably the most common weird thing though, is little kids, 5-10 carrying multiple heavy rocks down our realistically decorated river."
"So they're sputtering and kicking hard and I just look at them."
"'Hey bud/sweety, just...drop the rocks?'"
"They look at me like I've threatened to take away their pet."- ClydeLeArtisteArt Photoshop GIFGiphy
Leaving his mark...
"Not strictly pool-related, but part of lifeguard duties was to clean the changing rooms at my pool."
"Anyway, we had an 8-ish-year-old kid, who we were pretty sure was a serial sh*tter."
"Every time he and his family went for a swim, there would be a sh*t left for us in the showers."
"Happened 2 or 3 times before we didn't see them again."
"Don't want to imagine what he's allowed to do at home if that's what he does in public..."
Well, that's one way of doing it.
"A bit late but this only happened today."
"Mum, prob 40s, is taking [a child], 10 for a swim."
"Nothing seems suspect, just the usual mucking around."
"Wouldn't have paid them anymore attention than the rest of the public when the kid comes running out the pool."
"First no-no, but too far away to do anything about it so I just watch."
"Kid runs up to the fountain to grab a drink."
"Normal until he doesn't swallow."
"This kid walks his ass back to the pool mouth still full of water and baby bird style feeds his mum the water so she can have a drink."
"Like I've seen some weird shit working at the pool but I've never been so weirded out."- barnacle_soap
Not cut out for the job
"As a lifeguard you are required to have 4 hours of training each month, at least where I worked you were."
"During one of these training sessions, I was the one that was chosen to be on stand."
"While I was, I saw a new guard grabbing onto one of the supervisors necks and trying to stay afloat."
"I never saw that new guard again."
"I guess they couldn't swim, and I got yelled out for not jumping."- eric12343american dad! eating GIFGiphy
They could talk the talk...
"I use to be a lifeguard at a boy scout summer camp in Hawaii and it was the first day of camp which is the swim test to see who can and cannot swim."
" I have this kid walking with me and him telling me 'oh I am on a swim team' and other stuff."
"We reach the deep end and I tell him to jump in and start swimming."
"He jumps and sinks straight to the bottom."
"I am about to jump in and get him but he breaches the water and I reach the rescue tube out to him and pull hm out of the water."
"I later find out that he is in the learn to swim class."
"I guess he thought swimming was gonna be easy."- PeekClamBeDyslexic
Stories both sweet and sour
"I'm a lifeguard at three neighborhood pools."
"I haven’t seen anything particularly shocking, but my boss shared a few of her stories with me."
"A man named James is banned from the pool for 'flashing his peepee'."
"Most recently, a person who has yet to be caught took the biggest crap in the women’s restroom."
"It was not in fact in to toilet. "
"They had decided to walk past the stalls and take a massive dump in front of the sink."
"This one I actually saw."
" A literally girl and her mom and dad come into the pool."
"I am on stand and don’t pay particular attention to them until our of the corner of my eye I see this 10-13ish girl hobbling into the pool with a sparkling mermaid tail."
"I kinda felt bad for her because this huge group of teenagers stopped in their tracks to stare at her as she proceeded to wiggle through the water."
"I was so scared that i would have to jump in and save this girl because her legs are basically bound together and swimming became extremely tiring and difficult."
"Her mom looked so proud of her and was yelling at her husband, who was visually embarrassed, to take pictures."- A-Subconcious-Memory
In and out
'One time, as I was maybe 30 minutes from closing a pool, man came into the pool area."
"My first thought was 'oh no, I'm gonna close late today', but instead of swimming laps like most people, the guy jumped into the pool, sat on the bottom against the wall for maybe 30 seconds, and then left."
"Didn't even swim a little."- -_Pancake_-Chilling Pool Party GIF by GIPHY CAMGiphy
What does he get up to in private?
"When I was a lifeguard, there was this one guy I worked with."
"He was a fairly nice dude; kinda nerdy."
"Was a camp counselor, made us all listen to Glee covers of top 40 hits while we lifeguarded with him."
"But when things were slow or he was on a break, etc., me and my friend I worked with noticed he left a tab open on one of the office computers."
"The office is on the pool deck so you can sit at the desks and also look out at the pool."
"And it was videos of these sexy girls speaking ASMR telling stories or just talking."
"They weren’t pornographic, but it was just so weird cause it was definitely low-key erotic and he was just watching them on a public computer at work."
"Definitely started noticing his creepy vibes more after that."- lavendermilktea
Next time, maybe we'll just dip out toes in the water or stay on dry land.
Banning and censorship is nothing new in America.
Or, in the world at large really.
It all starts on a small scale.
They start stripping us of things at school and work.
You know, all for the greater good.
Redditor t0rnado_thegamerwanted to discuss the items that have been taken out of circulation for ridiculous reasons. They asked:
"What's the stupidest thing your school/work banned?"
I feel the banning has only just begun. But let's see what we've already lost.
FallenGIF by LeannimatorGiphy
"We weren't allowed to build a snowman because it 'might fall on you.' They suggested we build a 'snow forest' instead - snowballs on the ground > 1 meter apart. Nobody built snow forests."
"6th graders and only 6th graders weren't allowed to draw outside of assigned art projects. I heard any number of reasons for the ban--'gang signs,' vandalism, distraction--but never got one for why the ban didn't apply to 5th or 7th graders. My only guess is that one of the 6th grade teachers just really hated seeing children's artwork."
"My primary school (age 5 to 11) in the UK banned talking during lunch. Every single child had to eat lunch in a big room, in absolute silence. No talking to friends or socialising allowed. It was pretty insane now I think about it."
"I was gonna comment this too. My school banned talking at lunch if it got too loud. We had a cup at each table the teachers would make us turn them over and stop talking frequently each lunch."
"The theory was that someone would choke and no one would hear them if it was loud. Incidentally, the only time somebody choked was during a period of quiet and nobody knew because YOU CAN’T TALK WHILE CHOKING!! The person was fine though."
The Rule Book
"The lack of shoes, as in there is an specific rule against it detailing what should and should not be worn in your feet, all this because a friend of mine read the Rule book and it only said that 'Students must always come wearing appropriate pants and shirts that do not break the etiquette code.' He went to school with shoes and took them off at the entrance for a semester just to piss off the principal. I love that guy."
CodeCharlie Brown Snow GIFGiphy
"Anything with a snowman on it. Apparently that was code for cocaine."
Wow, Snowmen really get a bad rap out in these streets.
OuchGo Easy On Me GIF by AdeleGiphy
"We weren't allowed to say anything was easy because it might hurt the feelings of kids who didn't think that thing was easy."
"Back in my high school, they banned water bottles unless they were clear bc people had been sneaking alcohol into school, but like clear alcoholic drinks are a thing?? so it basically did nothing."
"Our school did that, too, after previously banning water bottles altogether. One of my teachers then got really bent out of shape about so many people using disposable plastic bottles but the school was really strict about how clear your water bottle had to be and not everyone had a qualifying reusable bottle on hand so what did she expect?"
in the ye' olden days...
"Bottle flipping when that was a trend in the ye' olden days long since forgotten. I don’t know why, and it’s not like they did a good job telling us about the ban so my first and only detention I’ve ever gotten was from flipping a stupid water bottle. That and the 'fight club' that formed in PE but that’s a different story."
"Probably Yugioh cards.They were banned because a group of moms made up a rumor that in another unspecified country a kid had died while holding a fiend-type monster, so clearly they were satanic. Years later I learned that one of those moms was my friend's mom and she just didn't want to buy the cards for her son."
Ho Ho HoMerry Christmas Reaction GIF by Macy'sGiphy
"Saying Christmas. Had to be called 'the current religious festival.' And no decorations were allowed."
Why are we banning the wrong things? This is nonsense.
People say parenting is one of the most rewarding things in life. That all of the lack of sleep, constant crying, and stress is worth it when you see your baby smile. And all of that is true, for the most part.
However, being a parent is hard, and it's not always easy to give that unconditional love. Sometimes, you do your best for your kids and they still turn out to be people you can't really reconcile with.
You'll always love your kids, but sometimes it's near impossible to like them.
Redditor eyriesistable asked:
"At what point did you realize you don’t like your own kid?"
Some Reddit Users Talked About Momentary Dislike
These are parents of young, cute toddlers and are mostly joking about disliking their kid.
Laughing At Pain
"My 2 year old just yanked my hair and laughed when I said 'ouch!'. I still love him but he's a little f*cker sometimes."
The Classic Toddler Offense
"My two year old got sent home from daycare today because he bit three different kids, unprovoked, before noon."
"He stole my cat."
"Only 18 months old the little prick and he's always had a fascination with animals, any time he sees one he points, starts walking towards it going "aaaaaaaww""
"Anyway, me and my cat used to be best buddies but currently my cat is sat in his lap whilst he's stroking him going "aaaaaaaww""
"And it's the same every day"
A Drinking Problem
"I walked in to her room and caught my kid sitting on her bed drinking a Pepsi. She has always known we are a Faygo household. I can look past some things but when you disrespect me in my own house I just don’t know how you get past something like that."
Waiting To Get Her Back
"Every time the lil' f*cker wakes us up before 5 am. Can't wait untill her teenage years, I will be up at dawn every day asking why she isn't getting out of bed and make some of her day instead. Revenge is only 10 years away."
Others Talked About Issues That May Never Be Resolved
These are parents who don't like their kids' personalities and don't see anything ever changing.
A Missing Bond
"For real, I used to have an issue for several years with my three daughters. I didn't feel the parental love that one would expect. I would still protect them from harm and all that but I did not have the emotional connection I thought I would with my kids. I spoke out of concern with my wife about it several times and she suspects that it was how I was raised by an abusive father figure. Nowadays the love is there but I feel that I missed out on too many things when they were growing up. I did not bond when I was supposed to I guess. I never really went out of my way to hold them when they were little. I just pray that I hid that fact well enough from them that they don't find out. I don't want them to think I don't care..."
Some Of Them Want To Use You
"When they became a narcissistic adult-trash talking everyone for attention, me included. They are a user (of people) like I’ve never seen before. I still love them, but do not like them."
0 for 3
"My grandmother had 3 kids and doesn't like any of them. Loves all three but doesn't like them. The first is just an a-hole who used her for money and her house like a hotel. Second... they just don't click, total opposites. Third is a needy lil mooch/hoarder who throws tantrums over stuff like the frosting color on Easter cookies because "that's not how daddy did it when I was little""
He Is Mean
"He started hating on me from an early age. He would literally give me the cold shoulder - monosyllabic responses to me while not looking up from his games, then become open and chatty when anyone else entered the room. I ate it for years - he's just a kid, right?"
"I ended up leaving his dad. He blamed me for everything and called the cops on me after yelling at me over the phone."
"I talked to his brother after the cops left. He was so frustrated on my behalf and only then told me all the low-key things younger brother had done under the radar; he was more mean than I realized; I thought it was only directed at me. My older son was sympathetic and made me feel better. He said his younger brother had a lot of issues."
"I really don't give my younger son an option to call the cops on me again."
Lie, Lie, Lie
"I think it's kinda sad how I know that my stepfather (who had his own daughter) wished I was his kid instead of her. To be fair, the girl kept making stories up about what we did to her and she was alienating him from the rest of his family. I think I can even pinpoint the day he realised that this wasn't miscommunication but rather her just lying about everything."
"She ran away from home and after years of fighting it was finally calm. And honestly, screw her, she didn't have to lie to anyone about us, she didn't have to steal from me or my mum to the point that a gift for my birthday was a lock on my door."
"I hope she doesn't screw over whoever is taking care of her now but I doubt it."
These are some intense stories! Parenting is hard, and the truth is, when it's good, it's good, but when it's bad, it's really bad.
Have you ever had someone try to comfort you, but ended up feeling worse after what you just heard?
It happens more frequently than people would like, when what were meant to be words of comfort and encouragement end up having the exact opposite effect.
Indeed, sometimes we might be better off, or able to sleep somewhat easier had we not been told a certain statistic or recent study, which paints an optimistic light, but is bad news nonetheless.
Redditor Soupmandog589 was curious to learn what optimistic facts aren't quite as comforting as they seem, leading them to ask:
"What’s a fact that sounds comforting but is actually highly disturbing?"
I'd rather not crash at all.
"You’re statistically more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the airport than you are in a plane crash."- 593shaun
Cold comfort at its finest.
"You did your best."- a_fortunate_accident
The possibilities are endless...
"You never truly know what anyone really thinks about you.'
"I mean this like super literally."
"Like you never know if your spouse is planning on killing you, you never know if a stranger is keeping an eye on you thinking about assaulting you.'
"Several possibilities that you could never know."- bluburry420
"There are hundreds if not thousands of versions of you in the minds of other people."
"Depending on how many people you have met in your life."- He-Who-Laughs-LastMean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy
I hope that day is a long time coming...
"One day you'll never feel pain again."- Antdawg2400·
Ignorance is bliss... or is it?
'The most peaceful way to die is in your sleep, but you’ll go to sleep not knowing you’ll never see anything ever again."- Hkro-2
We won't live to see it... but others will...
"There will be a point in time where humans go extinct."
"We wont experience it but imagine our future generations will see the 'end of the world'.
"You saw... nothing."- SunTzy69End Of The World Netflix GIF by LOVE DEATH + ROBOTSGiphy
The truth is out there... maybe...
"Either alien life exists, or we are totally alone in the universe."- ALA02
Don't get too excited
"You're really really sick, you have no energy, no appetite, and just the will to do nothing at all."
"Let’s say this is your grandpa in this situation."
"All the sudden grandpa calls you and says he wants to eat so much that it hurts and he wants to go do some fun projects, this sudden burst of energy kinda thing."
"Well you drive to the hospital to find that your grandpa has just died minutes after he called you."
"The nurse will then explain to you that this is very common when people are dying to just have a sudden burst of energy."- ReaperGrin
Either way, we're screwed
"While we're losing a lot of forests in the tropics due to climate change, we're actually gaining a lot of forest in the northern latitudes, and into formerly grassland areas as more available CO2 allows them to grow in more arid regions."
"And everyone loves trees, right?"
"The problem is the climate crisis is also a biodiversity crisis, and habitat loss, like grasslands or tundra becoming forest, is arguably even harder on species than changes in weather patterns."- RIPEOTCDXVItime-lapse forest GIFGiphy
Kind as it is to offer comfort to those who need it, it is also wise to think very carefully when choosing your words.
After all, as the saying goes "when you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
I've watched people devour things I couldn't fathom swallowing.
Like... "Why are you doing that to your body?"
I love food as much as the next person, but somethings really should just stay on the vine.
So many of the current most popular foods make no sense to me.
Avocado. Just... why? It's green slime.
To each their own.
Redditormintylye wanted to discuss personal issues with the menu. They asked:
"What food does everyone love to eat, but you don't?"
I am very picky eater. I try not to be, but I can't help it. My list long.
OinkWild West Lol GIF by Justin GammonGiphy
"Ham it's so gross I like other meats but ham is just so disgusting."
"Not a food, but coffee. The entire planet seems to start their day with a cup and I can’t get the taste for it."
"I actually LOVE the taste of coffee but I rarely drink it. I just try to wake up with a glass of water instead of the caffeine."
"I feel like the point of coffee is to wake you up, so it never made sense to me to drink decaf (even though I like the taste), so I just decide not to drink it. I do have a coffee pot and there are times where I’m feeling frisky, but I’m glad that it’s an addiction that I haven’t gotten into."
"Steak. Not red meat, just a fat steak. Gristle, fat, texture, and childhood trauma play a key role in why I dislike steak. Trust me, I've had numerous people - including my previous roommate who is a professional chef - try to get me to like it. It ain't happening. I do love a good burger though."
"Chocolate ice cream I love them separately though."
"Yes! A lot of chocolate flavored stuff I'd say is more 'cocao' flavored if that makes sense, same with chocolate milk, chocolate pudding, etc."
"I'm the same. I like chocolate, but majority of chocolate flavoured things taste very different and are not enjoyable for me."
bad sweets...Marshmallow Peeps Candy GIF by Bronwyn MaloneyGiphy
"They are overwhelmingly sweet. But I have childhood nostalgia associated with them so I still eat them."
Those Peeps are the work of Satan. I said what I said.
I'm ill...Season 11 Reaction GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy
"Mayo and ranch, but mostly mayo. The sight of a glob of thick ranch or mayo makes my stomach uneasy."
Clearly the best...
"Sweet potato pie. I can’t stand sweet potatoes but to put it in a pie… that’s just too much."
"Dog it tastes nothing like actual sweet potatoes. Sweet potato pie is like candy trust me. My mom used to make it for me when I was little."
"But she called it 'butterscotch pie' to trick me into eating it as she knew I'd want nothing to do with it if I found out it contained sweet potatoes. Clearly the best pie. I assume you haven't ever tried it. Big mistake. It's like if someone took a pumpkin pie and was like, 'what if I increase all of its stats by ten points'. Perfect pie."
fresh off the boat...
"About the only seafood I'll eat is breaded fish sticks. Which has about as much in common with seafood as Taco Bell does with Mexican food. None at all. The smell, texture and taste of the rest of the seafood world is just nauseating to me. Which some people can't seem to grasp as I live less than a 10 minute drive to the fishing docks and get whatever I want fresh off the boat."
In your mouth...
"Caviar tried it once like pouring salt shaker in your mouth. Venison gamey Beef."
"Then you haven't had good caviar. I had it in Moscow and it was super. I don't like sushi or a lot of seafood."
Gross Greensexcited shake GIFGiphy
"Celery. What the f**k, people. Not good."
I actually love celery. But I'm weird.