Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's moral or right. We know that. But do we ever stop to consider how it applies to the way we treat kids?
One Reddit user asked:
What completely legal thing should adults stop doing to children?
and yeah ... we've got a lot to think about.
"Beauty"
Child beauty pageants.
Aside from inviting the attention of dangerous people, every "Miss [school name]" at the middle school where I teach has been a notorious bully.
They're being taught from an early age to judge and that certain characteristics make some "elite," so it's not surprising.
Apart from inviting dangerous attention, it sets a precedent at a very early age that beauty is an important standard, and that looking a certain way accepted by society is beautiful, and looking otherwise is various degrees of ugliness.
It reinforces the belief in children that some people are ugly, and some are beautiful.
A competition judging and awarding people for something they could not control just seems f**king sh!tty to me.
Leverage
Use them as leverage against the other parent.
- mwdh20
Sadly it's no just rough on the parents. I was a kid whose mom told me frequently that my dad was 50 shades of a**hole after their divorce. I was 5, I didn't know what to do but believe it.
Needless to say SHE was the a**hole and my dad and I have a great relationship now. But I went through many years of confusion and feeling scared and lost many years of a great relationship with my dad. It's just not fair to do this to children who don't understand the bigger picture.
- zutteh
They're Coping Better Than Me
Using them as therapists
This happens a lot with teenagers I've worked with. Something traumatic happens in the family, teens will usually process the traumatic event talking with their peers or isolated in their room (to kinda sort out all the unfamiliar emotions), or simply won't know what to do and distract themselves with whatever hobbies they have. Parents take that as "they're not breaking down and crying all the time, so they probably know how to cope with this better than me" and unload all of their emotions on the kid.
Worked with the nicest girl (I'm a mental health provider) who was tasked with all the responsibilities of arranging her grandpa's funeral because mom thought everyone else in the family were way more upset about the death than the girl. In reality, the poor girl was broken up about it, but didn't wanna show that in front of mom because she was already so sad.
Sports Is For Fun
Little League Game GIF by TLC
Giphy
I coach 12 year olds and they are so freakin cute. Like they are super excited to learn, a little clumsy cause they're all hitting growth spurts, and super awkward but it's so adorable. I was coaching them today and started thinking about how my coach and my parents used to scream at me after/during practices and games when I'd make a mistake at this age. It caused me to hate soccer and basketball and really impacted my self-esteem.
Now that I'm coaching, I couldn't even fathom yelling at these kids, they try so hard and with every mistake they get better it's amazing to watch! I'll never understand being a grown ass adult and yelling at a literal child for participating in a leisure activity.
- OakNogg
That's exactly why I stopped doing sports. I was doing it to have fun, but they're making it super competitive and acting like I should be playing at pro level before 10. Fuck that. I can't even think about sports without having the feeling of being screamed at for making a minor mistake come rushing back.
- Fyrrys
Spoil The Child
Spoiling them rotten.
I'm not talking about once in a while type thing. I mean like, absolutely creating a monster.
Even when you're not creating a monster/are working to instill some basic level of decency, this is such a quick way to create unrealistic expectations for life.
I grew up in a reasonably affluent area. I went to fairly affluent schools. We had a lot of parents who meant well, but a new Yukon at 16 and annual vacations to Paris didn't really prepare these kids for the fact that eventually, Mom and Dad wouldn't be paying for everything, and a $50k a year salary won't support the lifestyle they took for granted at 16.
Like, they're nice people, and most of their parents instilled decent values, but even with Mom and Dad subsidizing their adult lives (no student loans, help with a down payment, etc.), it's obvious that adulthood is a pretty huge step down from what they were used to, and ultimately, I can't help but think everybody would have fared a bit better if Mom and Dad wouldn't have provided quite so many extras growing up.
Wearing thrift store clothes and driving a used minivan at 16 never killed anybody...
My own husband is an example of this.
He's a lovely, beautiful person. We both have decent jobs (er, we both had decent jobs until I was laid off last month). His parents aren't crazy rich, but they always made good money, and they always sacrificed a lot of their own wants so that they could give him all of the advantages in life.
They bought him the Lexus he wanted when he turned 16. They made sure that he had plenty of money for the spring break trips to Cancun. They paid for college. They paid for fraternity dues. They paid to replace the Lexus when he crashed it, and for a new Tahoe once that vehicle had too many miles on it, and a new Expedition once the Tahoe wracked up 100k miles.
They paid the down payment on our house. They pay his half of the mortgage anytime any "unexpected emergencies" come pop up. He's nearing 40, and he's still on their cell phone plan. They still pay his car insurance. They've quit buying him new cars, but he still gets their hand-me-down vehicles (so like, right now, he's driving his mom's 2012 Camry).
Annnnnnd, he's just now starting to appreciate the advantages he's been given in life, rather than mourning the fact that this is all a step down from what he grew up with.
Because even though most adults would be stoked to have all of those things provided for them, a 2012 Camry and a three-bedroom in a modest neighborhood isn't the kind of life his childhood prepared him for. It never dawned on him as he was driving up to the high school parking lot in his shiny new Lexus that, unless he planned on becoming a neurosurgeon, his adult standard of living probably wouldn't include new cars and trips to Cancun every year. Or, that if it did, he'd be working 60+ hours a week and taking on loads of debt to make it happen.
Why Can't You Be Like ...
I went to a small private christian school. At the time (mid-90's), there would be around 10-15 kids per grade. My sister was a grade ahead of me, so every teacher always knew I was her brother. The amount of "[sister] would never do that" or "[sister] was a much better student", et al. I got was absurd.
Even other students (not in my class or my sister's class) knew me as [sister]'s brother. Though that was due to her being good at sports and instantly popular (while I was good at playing the piano and instantly Liberace). Fun times.
- mencken
The Props
Use them as props on their social media posts
My aunt does this. She's super narcissistic. When my cousin turned 18 he was forced to move out because the guy my aunt was dating didn't want him there. So he slept in his van until he joined the navy. Now that he is in the navy she is all about being a "navy mom"
Men Can't Have Cats?
funny cat GIF
Giphy
Force them to grow up at a young age/being sexist. My dad threw out all my toys when I turned 12 and screamed "it's time to grow up!" He also wouldn't let me play with dolls because they were "girls toys".
He also said men can't have cats, and other bs.
As a man who has a pet cat, please tell me where your dad is so that I can tell him to flip off.
My brother in law was walking their Lhasa Apso who is an adorable cheeky boisterous little guy. A man looks down and says 'That's a gay dog' probably meaning a Lhasa is somehow not manly or what the hell is a man ya know a MAN doing with a Lhasa Apso.
My brother in law replied 'The dog's free to date who he wants.' And walked on. Dogs don't care if they're a poodle, chihuahua, Lhasa, Great Dane or bulldog. They're just dogs. People can be weird the cat comment also doesn't make sense.
Your Babies Boundaries Matter
Forcing them to hug people when arriving or leaving someone's house or event.
Or make them kiss extended family or the parent's friends goodnight before going to bed. I'm at an age now where people send their kids over to me all the time, and I very excitedly tell them as they get close that the good news is they get to choose a hug or finger guns. I'll even call out "me first" when a parent sends them on their rounds, because I guarantee if that kid chooses finger guns, every other adult lets them do it too. It's silly and fun and a big sigh of relief all round.
Too Young To Feel?
"You're too young you don't know what depression feels like."
"You're over reacting"
"When I was your age we had to suck it up" etc etc.
Just bad parenting and dismissing a child feelings because they are "too young, too immature."
Dream Not-That-Big
When I was a kid I was constantly told I wouldn't be good at whatever I said I wanted to be for some reason or another. Eventually by around 11 I aspired to be a person on welfare. Luckily I didn't follow through with that plan
When I was in middle school, I started to get into writing. I figured out it was my dream to become an author and one day it came up in a convo with my family. My dad outrightly said, "You could never be an author. You don't have the talent for it." It completely broke my heart.
All those years later, I still haven't told him. But I've decided that I'll just show him the book I've written and see what he says then.
That's Not Discipline And You're Not Fine
Hitting as discipline is legitimately and consistently shown by research to detrimental for children psychologically, and yet people still insist on doing it.
Then they say it happened to them and they're fine but they're wrong
Like, no mum, it's not fine. You did not deserve to be hit for being bad, you were a child who didn't know any better. She ended up in an abusive relationship which I believe wouldn't have happened if her parents hadn't hit her because they taught her people who love you will hurt you.
I ended up a bit better but I tended to lie a lot because telling the truth meant I would get hurt. My brother and I both have anger issues too. (Currently working on both lol)
My mum is a good parent/ person but when she was born in the mid-sixties hitting your kids as discipline was the norm that she passed on. Even now she still struggles with things like standing up for herself.
If my mum is still struggling with issues in her mid-fifties due to her parents smacking her as a child so will others. Please don't hit your kids
it happened to them and they're fine
Yeah, no, you're not. You're a person who thinks it's fine for whole adults to assault small children.
- YouSeeIt
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.