Don't lie to your lawyers, people. It's just not a good idea.
For most people, the only experience they'll have with the inside of a court room is binge watching one of the many, many, many Law & Orders. So it's easy for the average person to not realize just how important the tiniest detail can be for the outcome of a case.
Reddit user the-legendary-taco asked:
So judging by what we see here, sometimes cases do actually hinge on seemingly insignificant details - but more than that, they hinge on your lawyer not being totally blindsided by something in court... and on people not doing anything stupid.
Turns out that second part is way harder than you'd think. The comments devolved pretty quickly from "they left out this detail" to "OMG YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS THING THEY DID."
Enjoy the laughs!
He neglected to mention that he filmed his offences for his YouTube channel. The cops didn't even know. A witness brought it up on day three of a trial. It was a nice quick change of plea that afternoon.
A friend of mine is a lawyer and he said that a client once turned up to court in the actual same outfit he was wearing in the burglary.
When the CCTV footage come up in Evidence, the client looked down to himself and was like "oooooh sh*t"
Lol. A friend of mine's client showed up to their court session with no shirt on at all. Luckily she had her husband's dry cleaning in the car and he was able to wear one of his. She truly wondered how he thought showing up half nude was going to convince the judge he was an upstanding member of society.
Right Here, BudGiphy
Not a lawyer yet, but I clerked for a DA's office throughout law school. Obviously we don't have "clients," but I'll never forget this kidnapping case I worked on.
It involved two Asian male defendants who were both the same age and looked relatively similar. Witness is on the stand and is asked to identify where the defendant who pushed an uzi into his face is seated. It's clear the witnesses is having trouble differentiating the defendants.
In a true moment of brilliance, one defendant RAISES HIS F*CKING HAND and basically points to himself like "right here bud." Hands down the dumbest sh*t I'd ever seen. I thought his defense attorney was going to have a brain aneurysm.
Client in family law matter lied to me about using meth. Then used meth with the child in the room and the ex got footage of it on the nanny-cam and then made excuses about why they couldn't do a drug test, then blamed me when they lost custody... despite the fact that they didn't show up to appointments or return my calls so I couldn't prepare any court material.
I dumped the client after that and left family law.
The Child's Name
Not my case (which is a gift from above, really) —
Civil trial before a jury for injuries and prop damage from a MVA, and punitive damages because defendant was intoxicated at the time of the accident (let's call defendant... DUI).
... Almost doesn't need to be said but, before DUI ever stepped foot in court, they would've been prepped repeatedly (first for the deposition and then for trial testimony) with the "standard" questions — were there any prior incidents, arrests/convictions, anything that can be used to impeach any of DUI's testimony, yada yada - over HOURS. Denies everything and is as clean as a clean whistle.
Thus, at trial, defense counsel (DC) puts DUI on the stand to give them an opportunity to tell the jury of their contrition for this one-time error in judgment, describe the difficult time DUI was going through at the time, and otherwise show themselves to the jury as an upstanding member of society in order to reduce punitive damages. It goes well.
Then Plaintiff's counsel (PA) gets to cross — I'm going to paraphrase what allegedly happened next, which is purely hearsay.
PA — Earlier, you testified that this was a one-time mistake and you've learned your lesson... is that correct?
DUI - Yes.
PA — Isn't it true that you've already been convicted of DUI in another state?
DUI sits silent as DC immediately objects but it's properly overruled and DUI must answer. Since what happens next is impeachment, I'll skip the objections but suffice to say they were being fired off as rapidly as a machine gun, and just as rapidly overruled.
DUI - Yes.
PA - and isn't it true that, in your prior DUI, a child died?
you can imagine what's happening in the courtroom and, most importantly, amongst the jury
And you think it's over: stick a fork in DUI - it's done... But then, PA goes for the jugular, "Do you remember the name of that little child that you killed while you were driving while intoxicated?"
(IMO, this question is one for the ages - more powerful than the old "when did you stop beating your wife" - because no matter how you answer...)
... And that is why you never, ever lie to your attorney.
On Company Time
Employment law matter. Client claimed to have been unfairly dismissed over bogus performance management.
The real reason: he organized via Craigslist to have someone collect a box of his semen from a children's playground. There were explicit messages from him asking what they did with it, and whether they rubbed it all over themselves. The employer provided us the messages; he was doing this on company time.
I'm a public defender in an area with lots of meth use. Meth makes most people talk. A lot.
So I can't tell you how many clients forget to mention that they got to the jail still high and called their mom/girlfriend/buddy on the recorded jail phone and not only confessed to the crime, but also brainstormed whatever alibi or version of events I'm relying on to defend them.
Case as a paralegal.
Negligence case, client argued that a lack of street lights and a cyclist he couldn't see was responsible for him hitting a wire pole.
Upon discovery, the first respondent's report indicated that they found the driver in the driver's seat, pants down, with porn playing on the phone.
Wasn't difficult to figure out who was negligent at that point.
The A/C Unit
Friend of mine is a defense attorney. He was representing a guy with a lengthy record for assault. Basically, this guy took an A/C unit and threw it at his girlfriend.
My buddy tells me he was able to get a plea deal for 1 year probation no jail time. The judge is all ready to accept the deal when he asks the defendant if he had anything he would like to say. The defendant responds," Yea I don't know why they charging me with assault I never touched her. I just threw and A/C at her. This is bullsht."
Judge rescinded plea deal because of defendants attitude/lack of remorse, went to trial and got a year in jail.
Takes One To Know One
Lawyer in the UK. I acted for a member of a famous pedophile-hunting group. My client was charged with various offences relating to his vigilantism, most seriously, causing grievous bodily harm with intent.
He wanted me to fight the case on a public interest defense point that is not available to him in statute or at common law -contrary to my advice. I followed his instructions as I'm bound to do.
"If the state won't punish pedophiles properly then it's left to men like my client to take the law into their own hands!" - a horsesh!t argument for a whole host of reasons.
His laptop was seized by police and submitted for forensic examination. He had a staggeringly huge database of child pornography on it.
He himself was a massive pedo.
Choose Your Weapon
Opposing counsel: Isn't it true you hit Victim in the face with a brick?
Client: No. Marcus hit him with the brick. I hit him in the back with a piece of wood.
The Mask Slipped
He'd sent a photo of his wife's beaten face to his wife with a message saying something along the lines of this "Do you want this to happen again?"
He came across very well in court up to that point but his mask slipped when that came out.
Minor traffic cases can be the worst for this, believe it or not, because they are short and simple and often times the client isn't there, so if you get blindsided by something critical there's often no chance to consult with them to turn things around.
I had a simple speeding case, 70mph in a 55. No big deal, if she does a driving improvement course they court will usually dismiss or reduce those, since her driving record wasn't bad.
When I showed up for her, I found out that she had been driving 70 up an unplowed snow lane, to get around all the others cars traveling in the lane that had been plowed because they were driving too slow. I didn't know it was even possible to drive 70 on fresh snow. The officer stated he'd already cut her a break by not writing the ticket for reckless driving, and the judge politely agreed he didn't feel comfortable reducing it under those circumstances. When I called her up after court to confirm, she did, claimed she'd just forgotten to mention it. Now maybe I've lived too much of my life in the South, but that just boggles my mind as a detail you'd forget when hiring a lawyer for that incident. I would have told her in advance that hiring us was a waste of money, not to mention the hassle of taking an 8 hour class, and she should probably just go ahead and pay this one. I legitimately do that all the time during consults; give my honest assessment if the case is even worth doing, and so by omitting that detail she harmed herself for no reason. At least she took it well and didn't get defensive.
Credit card theft/fraud case. When I was a young lawyer back in the late 80's I was trying this guy on a cc case and the witness was the department store clerk. Before video surveillance the state relied heavily on witness identification. As she described the "customer" that was purchasing the very unique clothing her store sold I asked her how could she be so sure it was my client. She looked at my client who was wearing the most obnoxiously yellow shirt imaginable and said "because not only does he completely match the description I just gave you but he's wearing the exact same shirt I sold him." The jury convicted him and I learned that day to better prepare my clients for trial.
So the case was, that Woman A had hit Woman B in the head with a heavy beer pint at a bar, and Woman B got pretty serious injuries. The defense claimed that Woman A had not hit anyone with the pint, but instead had just thrown the pint into a random direction, and it happened to hit B in the head, thus it was an accident and not a battery. Well, the prosecution had a CCTV tape from the bar, and it was shown at the trial..
And the tape CLEARLY showed in HD as A walked behind B, and smashed the pint to her head so hard that the pint shattered on impact..
I looked at the defense lawyer and his jaw literally almost hit the table. The prosecutor also noticed this and asked something along: "Thrown, eh?" And the defense lawyer said that due to technical difficulties he couldn't get the CCTV tape open on his computer when he was reviewing the evidence. Woman A was found guilty.
So yeah, I was completely dumbfounded.
Too Stupid For People's Court
I used to work at a big health insurance company, which started up a company softball league. I started up a team for my division - Major Accounts.
Lots of people wanted to play, so we had a big co-ed roster. I asked everyone to pony up $25 for a jersey and towards soft drinks, which I'd buy, chill and bring to each game.
Because there was so many people on the team, I had to alternate who played defense each inning. One guy didn't like it, and got mad that he couldn't play center field every inning. So he decided on the next time he went in to let a couple of easy fly balls hit to him go past him on purpose for a home run. This guy was a clerical level employee playing with VPs and SVPs - not a smart career move.
So I benched him for the rest of the game / as in I didn't let him play defense. Two days later he serves me with papers, that he's quit the team and is suing me for $25. I say this is dumb, you should just play and enjoy having fun after work with the people you work with...
A week later I get a call from The People's Court. They're interested in putting this on TV but want to know more. I tell them the story and they say this is too stupid even for them. So they pass.
Court day arrives, and the guy makes his case. I take the stand. The judge first says "why haven't you settled this?" I say there's nothing to settle. He asks me a a couple more questions and then asks "so you kicked him off the team?" And I say, no - he quit. I asked him to stay on the team." The judge says "I've heard enough, ruling for defendant."
The weeks later the company CFO comes up to me and asks when is it going to be on The People's Court? I had to say it's not going to be, because they thought it was too stupid.
Next round of layoffs, that guy is at the top of the list. I'd guess he's still a loser.
Prosecuting a guy who is claiming "Back injuries". He posted pictures of himself holding strippers on Facebook the day after his "injury".
A commissioner referred a guy to me because I speak the guy's language and do that kind of law. It was a protection order case. Guy was asking for a protection order against his girlfriend that had tried to stab him. I met the guy talked to him.
He seemed sketchy but he had decent answers to all my questions. I decided to represent him. Submitted declarations and exhibits.
His girlfriend responded that she was the victim and claimed police arrested wrong person. I met with him again and went over the accusations. I asked him... have you ever hit your girlfriend? He answered no. We went to court. I made my argument. I felt confident.
But commissioner requested "permission" to question my client.
Question 1: "Have you ever hit your girlfriend?" My client answers no. Never.
Question 2: "Have you ever tried to hit girlfriend?"
Answer: "Yes, many times. I even tried to straddle her in a chair but she moved ducked squirmed and eventually escaped."
Grandpa Tries To Pull A ScamGiphy
My grandfather was the client in this very situation. He left my grandma after 20 years of marriage to be with his high school sweetheart. He and my grandmother had lived in the home my great-grandmother (grandmother's mother) gave to my grandmother. Grandfather had later been added to the deed when they did a home improvement loan because he was the earner and grandma was a housewife.
My grandfather told his divorce lawyer that the house had been HIS mother's home that he inherited and my grandmother had moved in our whole family to make it uninhabitable for him. He then changed the story to say that he and my grandmother were gifted the home jointly. He also went on and on with wild stories that my grandmother was a mafia boss, despite the fact that we are not in Vegas, not of a nationality known for organized crime, and not rich.
The lawyer accepted all of this as fact with zero proof and even went so far as to harass my grandmother's lawyer about how she was knowingly representing a criminal. There were even papers filed to sue my great-grandmother for mortgage fraud and all sorts of other bogus suits, again, filed solely on my grandfather's word.
After mediation, wherein my grandfather wanted to to sell the home and split the money after paying his legal fees, keep both cars, pay no alimony, etc., we go to court. My grandmother's lawyer hands over one thing - the home improvement loan application wherein he listed my grandmother as the sole owner of the property and listed my great-grandmother as the previous owner. The judge was livid and my grandmother walked away with far more than her lawyer thought was possible.
Lawyer here. And it wasn't my client, but the other side. But he managed to completely torch himself.
I was representing a client in a child support modification. Her ex husband was seeking a reduction in child support based on reduced income. In California, when the County is involved in child support collection and enforcement, the parties and their attorneys meet with the County's attorney to see if the matter can be settled with a guideline order. That initial meeting is where it went off the rails for this guy.
Having not received most of ex husband's pleadings for this matter, I asked the County attorney for a copy, and she provided them. In reviewing them, I noted he was residing in a townhouse in a part of Southern California that is not exactly inexpensive, and yet was claiming that his rent was only $200 per month.
I asked him how he is paying only $200 per month rent on a townhouse, and he said he is subletting and collecting $3,000 per month from other tenants. I tell the County attorney that it sounds like rental income to me, she agrees, and the guideline calculation ends up almost tripling the child support he was already paying (and trying to reduce.)
At this point, he asks if he can dismiss his motion. No, says County attorney - we are all here, case goes forward.
Go before the Judge. The Judge sees the papers, hears the testimony about his rental arrangement, decides to be nice and give the guy some credit for rental management expenses, but otherwise attributes to him a bunch of rental income and orders nearly tripled child support.
Defense attorney. Friends case. Prosecution for participation in a criminal gang/RICO. Week long jury trial.
On Tuesday, Gang Expert is testifying on the gang colors as being XXXX. And that they often wore a certain team XXXX jersey. No family/friends were watching this testimony.
Days pass. They were set for closings at 9 on Friday. His family and friends all come to support him at closing arguments, but they came swagged out in the colors and jerseys the gang expert just testified represented the gang.
My buddy calls me on Bluetooth from the parking lot:
"You gotta be f*cking kidding me. I pull in, twenty mother f*ckers standing outside the doors. All wearing their colors, and xxxx jerseys. The jurors are all walking past them. Hold on, prosecutor is calling me"
"Yeah, she is calling me laughing her ass off from her car. Can't make this sh!t up. I mean do I really need to tell people this kind of sh!t? Like your boy/son/baby daddy is charged with participating in a gang; let's all refrain from wearing that gangs colors and sh*t to trial."
Kid got a few decades.
Well that was a close call. That is everyone's main life mantra. If you really think about it, you'll know it to be true. Everyday we live, is another day we've survived, and death isn't the only thing we frequently sidestep. I have lost track of the amount of times my heart has almost gotten me into trouble. If I had been able to be with the people I thought I wanted in the past, I'd be in a mental ward right about now. Dodging a bullet doesn't even begin to cover it.Redditor u/Not-an-Ocelot wanted to hear about the times that have made people give some extra thanks by asking... What's the biggest bullet you've ever dodged?
Pay Attention<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQyNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MTEyMDI3OH0.BmVGAHwjbS_vMDkx2jetH_zBsPpphZ3tZp5VJjeyhD4/img.gif?width=980" id="0dcaa" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0ab54e83bfb77d5fefdb176242259411" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="275" />joe jonas relief GIFGiphy<p>I was a teen driver not paying attention at an intersection at the crest of a hill with low visibility when the light turned green. </p>
A Passed Mandate<p>This one just materialized yesterday, actually.</p><p>About a year ago at my job I was offered to switch from my current team where I was established for a few years, had seniority, etc. for a new department that just started to kick it off, write processes, basically start from square 1. A lot more work for the same amount of pay. I figured forget it and went.<span></span></p>
Too Many Idiots<p>I took my wife to an indoor shooting range in 2014. I had been at this range many times, and safety was always their top priority. They made you sit through a safety video, take a quiz, and get a temporary certification before they allowed you onto the range.</p><ul><li>Place got really busy and their safety policy became less stringent as time went on.</li><li>I noticed that the lane next to us had 3 people in it (already a violation).</li><li>Two big guys and one tiny woman probably her in 20's. They were handing her various firearms and laughing when she couldn't handle the recoil (big violation there, and incredibly irresponsible).</li><li>This girl was muzzle-sweeping everyone (another huge violation)</li><li>I got a bad feeling, told my wife to pack it up because we were leaving</li><li>As soon as we started walking away, BANG, that girl had fired a round right where my wife was standing just a few seconds prior</li><li>I told the range officers that they needed to get in there and do something about those idiots, and that we weren't coming back</li></ul><p>I have only been to a range a few times since that happened, and now I don't even go at all. Too many idiots. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohqu3v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> A_Garbage_Account</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/A_Garbage_Account/" target="_blank"></a></p>
buzz CRACK buzz...<p>I was out kayaking on a lake and several bullets whizzed by me. There was a distinct <em>buzz CRACK buzz</em> sound as it went by. I think some people were just out plinking in their back yard, adjacent to the lake, and didn't think a backstop was necessary. This also happened to me a few weeks later when I was paddling on a small stream. Bullets whizzed by above the bank, just over my head. <span></span></p>
Flight 103<p>I was booked on Pan Am flight 103 which went down over Locherbie Scotland. I didn't have a premonition or anything supernatural. I just decided to cancel my seat. Didn't think anything of it until the plane went down and my mother had written down my flight plan and reminded me. This was back in the day when you could cancel without a penalty up to a couple of days in advance.</p><p><strong><em>EDIT: </em></strong>You Know, when I posted my response I didn't realize how many comments I would get that involved people who were impacted by this sad event. <span></span></p>
Zapped<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQ0MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NDY0MjY1MX0.Dj7w7DePtmC1CgiaJwmNIifD129RWS3T3j5acsHBIiU/img.gif?width=980" id="d6220" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b7cea1508bfde66080975250c5e9dcf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="266" />Season 4 Zap GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy<p>I was subletting an apartment in college and got zapped by the electric stove. Gave notice immediately and moved out with very clear reasons why I was moving out. The building burnt a few weeks later. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/goi3ew7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadandshy</a></p>
Katrina<p>2005, my friend and I evacuated New Orleans 2 days before Hurricane Katrina and drove to Mississippi with the little money we had. We were trying to decided on where to stay for the night and it was between a mid range hotel or the really cheap motel. Decided to spend a little more for the hotel. During the night the eye of the storm came through Mississippi and flattened the roof of the motel we decided against. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohyomx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">kylexy929</a></p>
Delete Tinder<p>I matched with a guy on Tinder who played for the Atlanta Falcons. He was really charming and seemed nice. He asked me to fly down to Atlantic City for Memorial Day weekend, said he would pay for everything (airfare, hotel, food, etc.) but I had never met him before and he refused to give me his phone number. I was uncomfortable flying to meet a stranger so I told him no. Two weeks later he was on the news for kicking (and killing) his girlfriend's dog. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohwwcf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldestjeans67</a></p>
A Yamaha Pancake<p>Physically? A bus. I grew up in Bermuda, and since it is such a small island cars are limited to one per family, and everyone drives mopeds. I was driving into town, and came up to a red light behind a bus. As is tradition, I scooted around the bus to be in the front of the line of traffic. Literally 2 seconds later a second bus smashed into the back of the first bus at like 30 mph.</p>
D-I-V-O-R-C-E<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDM0Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNTg5MDA0M30.mkwHiDROST0_hPO3i_EgY_PCWrX60u9MZ-c4FzHjZz0/img.gif?width=980" id="aa6ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="99ab09a1baf770607fa2d8286e6a574b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="281" />phaedra parks bye felicia GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy<p>My ex.</p><p>He got engaged right after me and proceeded to cheat on her the entire time until she broke up with him. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohy29x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlamEv</a></p>
When your time is up, your time is up. And when we march off into the afterlife it feels like everyone wants one of two or two things. People want to go out in a blaze of glory and/or in peace and without pain. I don't know if both is possible but I'll choose option two please. What I know for sure is I definitely don't want to be smoted by a stupid death. Like, Lord, please don't let me die choking on fried chicken and an XL frozen Appletini at the Dallas BBQ because I was laughing to hard at my own jokes. Please.Redditor u/BlueD_ wanted everyone to fess up about the times they almost met their maker in a less than dignified manner by asking... What's the dumbest way you almost died?
Torn...<p>Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it.</p><p>Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktz0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GottaGoSmash</a></p>
The Lump<p>Born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway. It was so bad that I was turning purple from air loss by 3 months old, but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump. Almost died to complete incompetence, thankfully the people at children's were much more capable. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktt1d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Leroy_Spankinz</a></p>
So Wrong...<p>I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark.</p><p>Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height.</p><p>You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down? I'm pretty sure that happened to me.</p>
the baby....<p>I was born super premature and would apparently never stop crying and every doctor was just like "she's a baby, she's crying just because" until my parents took me to the children's hospital and then a doctor was like "yeah, she's dying. Surgery now." I was born with a double hernia. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnm5xj4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> vampyreprincess</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/vampyreprincess/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p>
Just Walk<p>Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards.</p><p>Don't run in abandoned buildings. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnl26xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldnymph</a></p>
Evil Mango<p>When I was 19, I ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat. I started to choke. I found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk. My brother did the heimlich manuever on me and the mango came out. I laughed about it a minute later because imagine "defeated by mango" written as your reason for death. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkx7o3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Spiderman230</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spiderman230/" target="_blank"></a></p>
The Day is Out<p>Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest.</p><p>I called it a day after that. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkzi1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ProbablyYourButt</a></p>
Do Vodka<p>I was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum. I woke up covered in vomit all over my bed, I had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep. I was alone.</p><p>I could have choked on my spew and died.</p><p>I avoid rum now. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlcg7n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">writingwithmovement</a></p>
NEVER!<p>I felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away. By the time I asked to go to the hospital I was in Sepsis. I was out of my head in pain, couldn't eat, high fever, etc.</p><p>Apparently I had a bout with diverticulitis. I had no idea what that was. Mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane. The perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity. They didn't do surgery, they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the 'death sludge' from my body. My kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down. I'll never forget that pain for as long as I live.<span></span></p>
In the Shallow...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4MDY0OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDAxOTk3Mn0.UFH9fBx9qg1viY44abzSICqYdsMRrU2ep9zMiWwgRIc/img.gif?width=980" id="c2bd9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ea60e1b2ffcfafbe156c7564d4eccb5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Lady Gaga Oscars GIF by SkyGiphy<p>Played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out.</p><p>the next day my parents bought me floaties. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArnoNyhm44</a></p>
We may not know it, but sometimes things that seem routine or are just one of our personal habits can really hold back our lives.
One little change to cut those things, or to include new things, can really change the quality of our lives for the better. We have to be willing to drop old routines, which is hard and scary; and we need to be willing to accept new ideas into our space, which is also hard and scary.
New Body Parts<p>The kidney transplant I just received on Monday (Feb 15, 2021).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/wanderingwiccan/" target="_blank">wanderingwiccan</a></p><p>It's amazing isn't it? Going on 17 years with mine and couldn't agree more. I'll never forget how miserable I was when my kidneys were failing and I started dialysis. </p><p>Those memories serve as added motivation to keep healthy now. Life is good. Best wishes to you moving forward!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/realTurdFergusun/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">realTurdFergusun</a></p>
Out Vs. In<p>Giving up on trying to cure being a introvert and just being happy</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RedditerAbc123/" target="_blank">RedditerAbc123</a></p><p>Introverts have just as much fun there are just fewer witnesses</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/minisis85/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">minisis85</a></p><p>Accepting yourself is truly liberating.</p><p>There's one important aspect of being an introvert or extrovert. As an introvert, you recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people.</p><p>I occasionally enjoy being around people, and I'm good at being social. I even perform music in public. However, when I'm done with all that, I go home and have to unwind. If I go long periods of time without enough alone time, I start getting progressively more irritated and frustrated.</p><p>I actually feel happy and at peace when I'm alone. Other people will tell me they feel lonely, or like their apartment feels empty. For me it's a direct source of happiness, this isolation and peace. I don't want a family, a partner or even pets. I don't even like hearing neighbors around. Solitude is freedom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sunsetdive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sunsetdive</a></p>
Git That Mental Health<p>I did therapy for around three years, and I recommend it to folks to try at least once in their life. It can take a little time, as a lot of it comes down to having the right therapist who can get through to you, (advice: if you need to switch to a diff. Therapist or, at any time want to simply take a week or two off, during the process- voice that to your therapist.)</p><p>Wishing you all the best on your journey, there were times I'd second guess myself if it was "working" right away, but trust the process, you'll take a lot from the experience & learn a ton about yourself!</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Puzzleheaded_Stress7/" target="_blank">Puzzleheaded_Stress7</a></p>
I Am Not Everybody's Parent<p>I stopped caring so much.</p><p>For as long as I remember I've felt a burden of responsibility to my parents, my brother, to myself. Throughout my whole life my parents have relied on me to be the voice of reason, to be the one who has sound mind, to be the one good with finances, to give them advice. It's not healthy for a kid to be put under that kind of pressure, and it just built and built until they filed for bankruptcy in 2017, and when I burned out at work last year.</p><p>I went to therapy for a bit (for the 3rd time lol) after I burned out and realized that I'm putting up such a high bar of responsibility for myself and it makes, and made, my life ridiculously miserable.</p><p>I'm still working and going to school, but having a more relaxed attitude and almost forcing myself to procrastinate on my schoolwork has made my life so much more enjoyable.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CozysMyName/" target="_blank">CozysMyName</a></p>
The Superpower Of Sobriety<p>Quitting alcohol. My life has completely changed in only the best ways. Most notably Ive accomplished all of my dreams.</p><p> I went back to school and earned my bachelor's, found the love of my life and got married, lost a bunch of weight and somehow look like I've aged backwards. Now my only problem is coming up with new dreams.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Billlliejean/" target="_blank">Billlliejean</a></p>
A Career Separate From Hostile Energy<p>For years I was convinced I chose the wrong career, and I was getting extreme anxiety, had to pull the car over a couple times going to work because of panic attacks. </p><p>Lockdown happens a year ago and all my stress disappeared and I realized I love my career, I just HATE office living and commuting. My biggest fear is the pandemic ending and being forced back into that terrible office culture.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/feral_philosopher/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">feral_philosopher</a></p>
Just Space To Remember<p>I've found that journaling helps me remember stuff a lot better. Also, on bad days, I get the catharsis of ranting without having to subject one of my friends to it. </p><p>I can also look back on past events and maybe figure out how I can do things differently or just reminisce. </p><p>Getting my feelings on paper or even a word document helps me deal with things, somehow. I stopped when things got real around last March since writing "I didn't do much today" every day was getting old.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Soulfire1123/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Soulfire1123</a></p>
Just A Better Life<p>My biological mother is an abusive drug addicted, alcoholic who put everything, including her other daughter, above her youngest child. </p><p>When i was 11, child services placed me with my Dad and his partner (my Mum, for all purposes of the word except birthing.) </p><p>In Australia, previously I was in N.Z. Its been a bumpy road, but I'm now 19, living out of home, have my license, own car, stable job and am studying at uni. I couldn't have done it without my parents, and i have the loving, caring, supportive Mum I craved as a child.</p><p>There was ten minutes where i didnt know if i was going into foster care or with my Dad, and it was the scariest ten minutes of my life, but ultimately that decision was the best thing that happened to me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lildee_19/" target="_blank">lildee_19</a></p>
Physical = Mental<p>Losing a significant amount of weight. My overall health is so much better. I sleep like the dead every night, when before I suffered badly from insomnia. </p><p>My blood pressure has come down to normal levels. I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I have cut back on the amount of medication I have to take, which obviously means I have money to spend that I didn't before. </p><p>I love exercising, even when I was morbidly obese, I enjoyed walking. Now I enjoy walking and I can walk so much further and faster than I could before. Another thing is the major change in my mental health. I was in a very dark space, and I realized the other day how much more positive my outlook in life has become.</p><p>10/10 reccomend. My journey has been slow, but it has been so worth it!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Smart-Connection6154/" target="_blank">Smart-Connection6154</a></p>
A Partnership For The Ages<p>Finally telling my best friend that I was in love with them. We've been dating for two years now and every moment is like living in a dream. They're sitting next to me right now cluelessly singing out loud with headphones in and I'm OBSESSED.</p><p>Also, Covid has allowed me to drive around the country while working remotely and actually do a lot of the hikes that have always been on my bucket list. It really changed my life by reaffirming my long term goals (stay healthy, get outdoors when I can).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sodapuppy/" target="_blank">sodapuppy</a></p>
The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.