People Who Have Actually Killed Someone Break Down What Happened
To know you are responsible for the death of another person can leave irreparable scars on your psyche.
"There's never a time, even when I'm laughing at a party, when I'm not thinking about it," Pam Uhr, a woman who was responsible for the deaths of two boys in a car accident, toldThe Guardian in 2018.
How would you expect your life to change after such a devastating event? How would you even go on?
After Redditor mfmisor asked the online community, "Redditors who have accidentally killed someone: How has it impacted your life?" people shared their stories.
Warning: Some sensitive material ahead.
"It was such a violent crash..."
It was a cold Friday morning on March 14 , 1997. My senior year in high school was coming to an end and all was right with my world. I was driving my 1988 Ford Bronco to my friend's house to pick him up before school. About a mile before his house a 70 year old woman and her 93 year old mother riding shotgun turned left in front of me from an unprotected green light. There was no chance to brake at all and I T-boned their Toyota Camry going 50 mph. The older woman died instantly the police said. It was such a violent crash that it sent their vehicle off the road and collided with a power pole. The driver suffered major injuries and sadly she died 3 days later.
After all the rumors and gossip which lasted until I graduated I was cleared of all wrong doing. The police determined that the driver was cited 2 times recently for driving without a DL. From what I understand her eyesight was quite poor and she must have not seen my truck. Thankfully I was wearing my seatbelt and only suffered a broken collarbone and bruises. Still very sad about what happened and it sometimes still haunts me to this day almost 25 years later.
"The day after I graduated..."
I got into an accident in high school when I was 17. T-boned a woman crossing a main road, she wasn't wearing a seatbelt and was ejected from the car. She died three days later in the hospital.
I was charged for negligent homicide with a motor vehicle and reckless driving (calculations showed I was doing 20 mph over the speed limit) . The day after I graduated high school I spent a month in prison. It's been 9 years and I still haven't bounced back completely.
"I have no regrets."
I guess technically I've helped to kill about 5 old ladies. It's kind of an unspoken agreement amongst the nursing staff that if someone hasn't moved, eaten, or had a drink in 4 days and their feet are mottled.....well......we make them comfortable. Morphine is always prescribed by then and we collectively ensure our patient is in as little pain as possible.
I have no regrets. I've even had a family member thank me for helping her mom.
"After the accident..."
When I was 16 I was going home from work late at night and needed to swing by the gas station. I was getting ready to make a left turn into the station and waited for a few motorcycles to pass and i looked down the road to clear the turn and saw a single light from a motorcycle about a mile away so I went ahead and made the turn. About halfway through the turn I saw the light getting brighter and noticed the guy was maybe 3 feet away from my car. That's when time began to slow down as I stomped on the gas to try to get out of the way. It was unfortunately too late as his body hit the side of my car completely shoving to the side. I got out and he just layed crushed in the street.
The gas station was very busy so a crowd immediately formed around the man and cops and ambulance came. He died a few hours later in the hospital.
After the accident I just sat on the side of the road thinking well im going to prison I just killed a dude, very much in shock and a bystander came up to me and said "do you see what you did!!? Go see what you did!" I wasn't really responsive at this time. After detectives came and talked to people i found out the guy was going well over 150mph on a bike trying to catch up to his friends and when I pulled out he didn't slow down but apparently ditched his bike and only his body hit my car. Turns out if he stayed on his bike he would have missed me completely. I was bothered for some time but have come to accept that this kind of crazy sh!t happens, just have to carry on.
"I used to be an airline pilot..."
I used to be an airline pilot for a relatively large regional airline. Because I didn't make much money doing it, I worked as a flight instructor on my days off from the airline.
One day a student of mine and I were up practicing some maneuvers over an area with a lot of trees.
As we were finishing up and about to go back to the airport, our engine started acting weird. It was a bit rough and we lost RPM. No big deal, I thought, I figured we were just running the mixture too lean, so I enriched it and had no improvement.
I started heading towards a field we passed a couple miles back. It wasn't big but it was our best shot if things got worse as the airport was something like 15 miles away.
The engine only got worse. I was having trouble maintaining altitude and I radioed in a mayday call with our position.
Eventually, the engine died completely. I tried a restart but nothing worked. As we were lining up our final approach, we made sure the airplane was secured and all that.
Turns out the field was a lot smaller than I thought. We touched down and it was extremely rough. I had a lot of pressure on the breaks, trying to not lock them. The trees were coming up very fast and I decided we weren't going to stop so I tried to get the airplane back on it's front wheels and slam on the breaks to make it flip so we could at least stop.
I thought about it too late and we smashed straight into a big tree. I can't remember very clearly getting out but I do remember seeing my student in the front seat slouched over with his head to the side. I tried to yell for him to get out and realized his eyes were open. The local police arrived within minutes of us touching down and later they said they saw us coming in.
They got my student out and took me to a hospital to be looked at and X-Ray'd because I had bad pain in my neck and back. They pronounced my student dead at the scene. His neck snapped on impact.
I didn't have any legal action taken against me or anything, the NTSB and FAA said that I did the right thing in the situation. I just wish I could've gotten the plane flipped over. I feel guilty. His wife blamed me and tried suing me.
I have extreme anxiety and don't fly anymore. I wish I could bring myself to do it because I truly loved it.
I work construction now because I have always loved building stuff and fixing up the house. I'm 36 years old now and have it on my bucket list to fly one last time.
"I think about it a lot..."
It wasn't my fault, but when I used to drive a wheelchair transport van, a bracket that holds the wheelchairs down failed. The guy tipped over enough to hit his head on a cross brace when I turned a corner. He had a degenerative disease, and had fragile bones. He ended up in the hospital, and never recovered. Passed a few days later.
The last I heard, the company that made the brackets ended up changing their design because the accident unveiled a flaw in their design.
I think about it a lot, because a person died who was in my care. I don't feel guilty about it or anything, There was nothing I could have done differently; something just broke. It's still a bummer when I think about it though.
"He blamed me for the accident..."
Not killed immediately, but turned into a quadriplegic, which is a death sentence for a 19 year old.
I was also 19 years old, driving a friend of mine around my hometown because he hadn't been there in years. He had moved out of state many years before. Was on a narrow country road, very hilly and windy. I am cresting the top of one hill, going a little faster than the speed limit, and a van comes up driving right down the center of that road. There's a steep embankment to the left, and a deep ditch to the right. I swerved to miss the van, realized I was going into a ditch, and swerved back. I ended up swerving completely around this van, and hit the embankment on the left. My car flipped down that hill seven times. I was wearing my seatbelt, but he wasn't. My side of the car was practically crushed, his barely had a dent. But because I was wearing my seatbelt, I just got glass embedded in my face and scalp, and messed up my left eye, shoulder and hip. Because he was not wearing his seatbelt, he broke his neck.
He blamed me for the accident, and for everything that happened to him, so I have not heard from him since it happened. I can only assume he's dead now, as the life expectancy of full quadriplegics is pretty low.
It's been 15 years, but no one gets in a vehicle that I am in without a seatbelt. Period.
"Not a lot has changed..."
Several years ago, I was driving on the interstate and a guy ahead of me's tire blew out, he panicked and spun out into my lane. I slammed into the passenger door and his teenage daughter was killed on impact. The other driver was deemed at fault, but I felt guilty. It took quite a bit of time and therapy, but I realize now that there's nothing I could have done-- it was just an accident.
Not a lot has changed, but I now give extra space whenever possible while driving.
I believe I've found..."
I believe I've found as much peace that I personally can find from the situation but there will always be lasting effects that I just need to learn how to work with.
"They'd be justified."
My best friend was a heroin addict. She kept begging me for money to "pay bills" or "court fees". Deep down inside I knew what it was for, and I felt bad saying no to her, even though I knew what it was doing to her.
I literally would lie awake at night every time I gave her money wondering if she would die that night.
One night I gave her money and a ride to the ghetto to buy. She bought more than she needed, sold to someone else, and they both died of an overdose that night.
As for how it's affected me, I'm a wreck. I still have nightmares. I went catatonic after it happened. I stopped eating, stopped leaving my house, had issues getting out of bed. I don't remember much from that time. Just darkness and despair.
Very few people know what actually happened that night. Some tell me that if it wasn't that night, it would have been another when I wasn't there. Others have told me that it's my fault she's dead.
I was diagnosed as having PTSD as a result of her death. That has not been easy to deal with.
Some days I wish someone would hurt me. Beat me within an inch of my life, maim me, kill me, anything. They'd be justified.
"Towards the end..."
I'm not sure if I'm responsible but I think I contributed to a family member dying.
8 years ago I was 22 and my mom asked me to stay with my grandpa and grandma for a few weeks to help watch them. My grandpa had just gotten out of the hospital and got the green light that his cancer was still gone.
However, as a precaution I was to help him walk around the house even with his cane that they gave him.
He was watching tv or something and had to get out of chair to get a drink. I told him I'd get it, and he insisted he could get it instead. I told him I was supposed to help him walk to the sink.
He denied he needed help, adamantly, and just told me to walk next to him. I was waiting by the couch maybe 6.5/7ft away. He was near me and stumbled/dropped his cane. He caught himself on the side of the couch and slowly lowered himself onto the floor.
My mom saw it and told him that he had to go to the hospital, per doctor's orders. He got into an argument about it, but it was too late, my mom had already called 9-1-1.
He was carted off to the hospital, fully aware and talking with the paramedics as easily as you talk with friends. The doctors took x-rays and noticed something in one of his lungs. They weren't sure so they wanted to figure out what it was, and ran some tests.
The tests were negative for anything that it could possibly be. He slowly got worse, they tried all sorts of medication and nothing stopped it, his lungs slowly faded over six or so weeks, the meds didn't even slow it down,
Every day for six weeks, my entire family including cousins, aunts, and uncles spent the day in the hospital. A few of my cousins couldn't bear to even go visit him because it was so heartbreaking to them.
Towards the end he couldn't even speak. When he was first admitted he was fine and optimistic, slowly though the realization of what was happening dawned on him. He didn't deny it, but rather accepted it. He said his final words to each of his children and grandchildren. Told his kids how wonderful they were and all his favorite moments with them.
His wife, my grandma, and his kids sat with him after the doctors told them they need to prepare for his death because it was very close.
I'd like to say he went peacefully and quietly, but he didn't. There was a death rattle which my mom said was "indescribable" his body lurched and his head rolled to the side, mouth agape.
I don't know if me helping him to get a drink would've made a difference. I was supposed to do a job for someone I loved, I didn't and now they're dead.
Before my career change I worked as a pharmacy technician through college. It was a good job for me, and since our pharmacy was only for nursing homes and mental institutions I didn't have to get a public facing job.
If anyone reading knows much about medication, you might recognize that Warfarin is A. A blood thinner B. Usually prescribed in very minute, exact dosages. Glove changes after handling were enforced pretty heavily. It really isn't one to play with.
So pretty typical day. I'm filling cassettes for I think 7 days and apparently misread one of my fill stickers. I didn't see that I was supposed to split 2 5mg tabs in half. (Before anyone makes the obvious point about 2 half tabs being the same as one full, I know. Some insurances will only pay for halves since it's cheaper. Silly, right?)
So by the nature of these weekly cassettes, you typically fill them over the course of the week along with other homes cassettes, and they all leave sometimes up to 4 days later. A day after that particular mistake went out the door, we have got a floor wide meeting with the owner of the pharmacy. A bit more exposition, but he was a very serious, very hotheaded man. We didn't get along well, all things considered. He's the only boss that ever openly threatened my job prior.
The meeting is as expected, very serious and informing of the mistake. He called a 'critical failure.' The tech responsible for the fill missed it, the pharmacist in charge of checking it missed it. The nurse in charge of administering missed it. He said the patient was rushed to the hospital, but it could've been alot worse and used this opportunity to make it clear that this type of mistake wouldn't be tolerated in the future. The rest of us were looking around, unsure about who the tech and pharmacist was.
As I was heading out to grab lunch, bossman grabs me and tells me we need to talk. The 'oh s***' alarm was going off pretty hard at this point. I step into his office and soon have a pharmacist sitting next to me.
Now for as aggressively angry as I've seen this man get, he was very calm and spoke very clearly. He explained that we were the 2 who made the mistakes. We messed up and he didn't want to single us out in front of everyone, which would have been a nicer sentiment if it hadn't been followed up with the patient dying in the hospital. It felt like a brick came off my chest and was replaced by a cinderblock. I didn't know the patient, never talked to him, didn't know was his conditions were, but I played apart in his death.
The coming days I tried to shake it off, but I couldn't be there long before I would think about it again. And again. And again. I ended up taking a few lunches with that pharmacist over the next couple weeks. He seemed to take it better than me, but it clearly affected him too. We both worked considerably slower, double checked ourselves constantly. It sucked. Work wasn't even close to enjoyable anymore and I'd end up hating myself as the days when I went home.
As this was happening I had some changes in my own life. Some I chose and some that just happened. Bad timing for sure, but it helped to push me out of pharmacy work for good, into a more hands on, bluecollar job. I still think of it from time to time, and it doesn't cut me like it used to, but I'd say the event helped me with an attention to detail on important matters. I oversee a mechanical shop, so I'm a bit of an ass when it comes to safety, but it comes from this experience.
I was the court appointed guardian for an old lady who lived on the top floor of a four story walk up after she had gotten drunk and left her water running until the fire department broke her door down to wake her up. All the people in her building wanted her out and I fought with them for about three years to keep her there, but I knew she should move since she could not walk up and down the stairs.
I managed to get her an apartment in a building with an elevator, but it was smaller and she hated it. No one wanted to rent to her so it had been very difficult to find a new place, but I promised her that we would keep looking and she could move when we found something better.
After about four months in the new apartment, I got a call from the hospital. She had fallen asleep while smoking a cigarette and it lit her blanket on fire. She was in the hospital unconscious with burns over 90% of her body and smoke inhalation. A friend of hers mentioned that because she had lived in and was used to her old apartment she would not have had the same problem. I've really felt like it was my fault ever since. If I had her moved into a hospital, or a nursing home she wouldn't have died.
"Not a single day goes by..."
I was in a car accident 12 years ago that killed a friend of mine. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about it. I have nightmares almost every night reliving it. It was just an accident, according to the police report I hydroplaned into an oncoming car. My friend was killed instantly. I had to move away from my hometown because of the harassment. I got death threats on an almost daily basis, as if I went out that night with the intention to kill someone. The "anniversary" was 4/28 and it was a rough one.
Reddit user alina_love_ asked: 'What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?'
No matter how long ago we saw it, there are some scenes or images from movies that still send shivers down our spine or keep us awake at night to this very day.
Pennywise appearing in the sewer in It, Janet Leigh surprised in the shower in Psycho, Freddy Kreuger's tongue popping out of the telephone in A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Of course, some of the scariest, most disturbing, or most emotionally traumatizing scenes from films might have been featured in films outside of the horror genre.
Even more shockingly, some of these films were primarily marketed towards children!
Redditor alina_love was curious to hear which non-horror films the Reddit community saw as children still send shivers down their spines today, leading them to ask:
"What's a non horror movie that traumatized you as a kid?"
It Was Tim Burton, After All...
"'Pee Wee's big adventure'."
"Large Marge scared the crap out of little me."
"I was even scared of the fortune teller."- BlueStarrSilver·
With A Title Like "Temple Of Doom"...
"'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom'."
"The scene where the guy gets his heart ripped out traumatized me for years."- Pbhf
That Funeral Scene Though...
"Fear of death, fear of losing a friend, fear of bees, fear of puberty."- heidismilesmacaulay culkin kiss GIFGiphy
Jurassic Park's Got Nothing On This...
"'The Land Before Time'."
"Watching Little Foot’s mother die was awful."- HourglassSass
He'll Always Regret Not Bringing Her To The Museum...
"'Bridge to Terabithia'."- jumpstart-the-end
"Everything goes so well and it falls apart SO FAST and your left absolutely traumatized."- VortexDestroyer99
The Reason People Hold On To Their Appliances For As Long As They Do...
"The Brave Little Toaster'."- Catgurl
"The junkyard scene alone was responsible for so many nightmares."- ManChildMusicianbrave little toaster animation GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
And Let's Not Forget The Coachman's Smile...
"Disney’s version of 'Pinocchio'."
"The scene where kids are turned into donkeys and kept on the island and then resold was f*cking weird."
"You felt bad for that bully kid after he looked sad and nobody understood what he said because he was a donkey."- earnestlikehemingway
Few Things More Sad And Scary Than Deforestation
"'Ferngully: The Last Rainforest'."
"That evil tree scared me so bad."- slutsdotnet
Anything But "Truly Scrumptious"...
"The 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Childcatcher guy!"
"I'm still scared of him!"- Jet_Maypenchild GIFGiphy
Offing Children One By One...In A Children's Movie!
"'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' boat scene."
"Honorable mention of claustrophobia when Augustus gets stuck in the chocolate tube."
At Least We Know He Had A "Sole"...
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
"That poor shoe….."- dalalice5555
At Least The Song Is Catchy...
"Not even Artax, which was awful, but the Rockbiter and his good strong hands."- marxychick1Neverending Story 80S GIFGiphy
Dorothy Gettying Electro Shock Therapy Says it All...
"Return to Oz."- Jeff_Steelflexx
"Horrifying! What about the animated wig heads?"- weensfordayz
The Reigning King Of Childhood Trauma
"Old Yeller."- IceTech59
"I remember watching this on TV during, I think, Wonderful World of Disney (Sunday nights were Disney night on TV)."
"Cried and cried and cried."
"I've never been able to watch it again and I've never shown it to my kids!"- crowwitch
Not All Friendships Are Tenable... A Terrifying Thought
"'The Fox and the Hound'."
"Still makes me incredibly sad, lol."- mental_reincarnationbest friends friendship GIFGiphy
Sometimes, writers and filmmakers simply overestimate what might go over a child's head.
Or, for that matter, they might underestimate their emotional capacity.
Regardless, ask any of Fairuza Balk's fans which is scarier, Return to Oz or The Craft, and their answer will be immediate...
(... and it won't be The Craft...)
Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.
Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.
Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.
And oh the fun that can be had.
You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.
You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!
And then just watch them implode.
Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:
"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"
I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"
Then I scurry away.
It's YOU!For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy
"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."
"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"
"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"
"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"
"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."
"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."
"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."
I Like You
"I don't get why other people don't like you."
"Another variant is..."
"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"
"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."
"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."
“'I heard about you.'"
"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."
"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."
ProblemsDrunk Party Girl GIFGiphy
"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"
"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."
Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.
Especially with the drinkers.
But get them at least semi-sober.
I got YouOkaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."
"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"
"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."
"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."
"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."
"You really need to brush your teeth."
"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"
"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."
Head IssuesThink About It GIF by IdentityGiphy
"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."
Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.
Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Societal pressures shape how people act most of the time, but every now and then someone comes along who doesn't care what other people think.
They do what they want, when they want without guilt or remorse.
According to President Theodore Roosevelt:
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
Much less rare are the times when otherwise conscientious people decide to throw caution to the wind. Almost everyone had at least one moment in life when they decide to go for it.
Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, right?
How things turn out after such a decision can make for some interesting stories.
Reddit user Alone-and-affraid asked:
"People who just said 'F*ck it' and did the thing, how did it turn out?"
"I quit my factory job of 2.5 years during the 2020 events to go work at a slaughterhouse. I had nothing to fall back on besides this job."
"I did training there for a week before they decided I was ready to go work on a line."
"I was at the line for an hour, just watching the other guys work and I knew immediately that this wasn’t something I could do; it was far too fast paced, far too much to remember and with the job involving razor sharp knives, I feared for my safety."
"I walked out of the job during my first break and didn’t return. Went to Staples, printed out some resumes and dropped off about 20 of them before walking into a rebar manufacturing place that hired me on the spot without an interview."
"The rebar job was fun as hell, my coworkers were fantastic, and it paid $3 an hour more than the slaughterhouse. 11/10 decision, there."
No Business Like Show Business
"Was working a job that paid little and was hazardous due to chemicals and bad health and safety. Wanted to stick it out cause it was a skill I wanted to get good at and also being able to buy food is nice."
"But the general work environment was sh*t."
"One day at work I got a text from a random number asking if I wanted a job on a film, where I'd be basically painting costume items. They didn't give me any information about it at all."
"But I said f*ck it, and quit my job with my sights set on the big screen."
"Now I work in the film industry pretty much full time where my job involves painting and making weird sh*t all day with cool people. More stress and way longer hours, but way more enjoyable and fulfilling."
"And now I have money to buy my self cool sh*t whenever I want it."
Take This Job And...
"After a major falling out with my bosses I stormed out of my job with zero notice. Left the company car keys at reception and went."
"Zero plans, zero transport home."
"On my long walk home I hatched a plan to become a freelance developer and I have now been doing it for 20 years."
Up, Up and Away
"Changed careers from IT to Aviation (Pilot).
"Took the $130,000 loan out, and said 'Fuck It'. I am about to get my PPL, from there its IFR certification, then Commerical, and then my CFI so I can get my hours and get paid (little but its still making money and obtaining hours)."
"My friend's husband switched from dental hygienist to pilot and he was in his late 30s. He started with zero hours and worked his way up through the various stages.
"He's a first officer at one of the major US airlines now and loves it."
"His wife's salary kept the family afloat during his slave wage years."
Taking a Leap of Faith
"My work is very niche, so niche we were less than 20 to do it at a professional/commercial level in a city like Chicago."
"After the facility I ran a crew at closed, I spent a bit over a year looking for a similar job anywhere in the US and Canada without success."
"I did get a decent amount of interviews just to get ghosted every single time, no one would hire me due to my disability (Crohn's and Ostomy bag, which prevents me from doing a small part of the job and can be worked around without issues)."
"After all that time all I could find was a 2-days a week part time job, working under the first person I mentored."
"Did that for a few months and struggled financially until I saw a job posting for something in Singapore."
"I said why the hell not, sent my application through email and got an interview set up for the next day and within 90min of that interview they were ready to send me a contract."
"7 weeks later I was on the plane with 3 suitcases, moving across the world to a place (and continent) I've never been to."
"I'm 2 months into the job and already feel like I have a purpose again, the job is pretty damn chill, the pay is real good. The company is also really happy with my work so far and their decision of bringing me in."
"That's just the job part, the city/country is amazing (besides for the constant heat but that's just a small detail)."
"Zero f*cking regrets."
Work From Home
"For years prior to the pandemic I'd heard about Work From Home scams. It had always been a dream of mine as someone that had suffered insane commutes to work from home."
"During the pandemic I figured f*ck it I'll see what's out there. Found an old employer of mine was hiring for WFH."
"I applied, got the job and have been with them now for a little over 2 years. A year or so of that time as the night shift lead."
"It's amazing. I have no commute. My workload is relatively light. I spend most of my work hours waiting for work so I listen to music, read books, watch TV etc..."
"Unless I finally go back to school and get my degree this is the closest I'll get to retired."
"With my current schedule I only work 3 nights a week."
Alls Not Well That Ended Unwell
"I had worked at a company for almost 10 years. I never got promoted and had hit the salary cap for my position so I could not get a raise."
"I tried for promotions, but they made you take a personality test for higher level positions, and I 'wasn't the right fit'. They then had some budget cuts and couldn't justify my salary so I was let go."
"A friend of mine had been planning for years to open a business, but didn't have the capital or time to get it off the ground. He was very convincing and confident, so I invested everything into it."
"I thought that since we were both 'smart' and knowledgeable about the product we could make it work without experience, but I was wrong."
"My friend was the product guy and I was 'the face' as the business had a huge social aspect."
"Within 3 months I realized that my friend's product knowledge was just based on what he liked, and not any real research. It fell apart pretty quick.
"I tried to salvage it but the initial product mistakes were too much. I tried to take control and right the ship but I got blamed for all the failure."
"I should've tried to collaborate but I was angry, and then I went to the only person that was on my side, my business partner's ex. It was wrong but I was losing everything and needed something."
"So I lost my condo, my life savings, and all of my friends. The business partner's ex then left me after the business collapsed because I was broke."
"It got worse from there. Let's just say that saying f*ck it can ruin everything."
Moving On Up
"In my young age I walked out of my job as a programming analyst at a large multi billion $ company because I felt undervalued everyday of my job by my direct supervisor/manager."
"But I landed in another large multi billion dollar company as senior developer after 3 rounds of interviews—with 40% raise within 2 weeks."
"I was called back by previous employer after around 3 months giving me a 100% raise because they realized that I was providing them everyday solutions in their technical operations that ended up not solvable by even external consultants who were paid 300-400$ per hour."
"I rejected the offer but showed the offer to current employer who happily matched the salary after seeing my work for 3 months and promoted me to lead developer. Stayed there for 8 years before switching—this was in early 2000."
Change Of Scenery
"Seventeen years ago the wife and I lived in Japan, and had been there for almost 9 years. Our daughter started getting death threats in school when she moved to middle school; different kids than elementary, where the parents were really nice to us."
"Anyway, when we talked to her teacher about it, she pretty much said 'It's her fault for being loud and wearing earrings' (my daughter is half Hungarian, and babies get earrings here; it's a cultural thing)."
"We told her this and she said it attracts too much attention."
"Also, she told us to dye her hair black (it's brown) so she'd fit in better. We noped out, and moved to Hungary (at a time when Hungary was not even slightly in good financial shape, and about to be IMF-loaned).
"My parents thought we were crazy; my dad even told me I'd made a mistake."
"Things turned out very well. Daughter got stable again after some terrible thoughts because of what kids did to her in Japan."
"I found a decent job and after a LOT of weirdness ended up at a good workplace; wife runs our little company now, which is okay-ish (though current inflation, man...)."
"We actually own our own home, which felt impossible in Japan."
Switching Things Up
"I changed careers on nothing more than a suggestion from a friend."
"It worked out amazingly."
Heaven on Earth
"Two years ago, I walked out my job, broke my lease, shoved as much of my belongings into a badly malfunctioning car and drove across the Rocky Mountains to find the sea."
"I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t know if the car would survive (it broke down within weeks after the trip was done and I sold it for scrap)."
"I honestly didn’t care if I had a place to live... I needed to see the ocean, to smell it, to dip my toes in the brine and feel small again."
"And if I had nowhere to go and no way to survive once I got there, I had every intention of weighing down my pockets with stones and just walking into the water to end it all."
"I was not in a good place, mentally or emotionally. You don’t walk out on your life like that if you have anything to live for."
"But I connected with estranged family here, and they gave me shelter until I found work and a new home."
"I’m happy now, really truly steadily happy, fulfilled, proud of myself and what I’m doing, more so than I’ve ever felt in my entire life."
"The air is cleaner here, I wake up every morning and, rain or shine, I take a bike ride through rolling hills of emerald farm fields and deep whispering pine trees."
"I’m greeted in the mornings by wild robins, and I fall asleep at night to the music of rain dancing through the boughs of the trees and a chorus of singing frogs."
"I find myself standing outside, staring at the vast river of stars in the unpolluted and sacred darkness of the night sky, and I watch the beautiful pink and orange waves of the rising sun cresting over the mountains."
"I have found a Heaven on Earth, and I am thankful, every minute of every day, for this wild place I call home and the wonderful people who picked me up when I had fallen down."
"I don’t recommend anyone else do something as stupid and impulsive, or self-destructive as I did, but it wound up being the best decision I have ever made."
Have you ever just said to heck with what anyone else thinks?
How did things turn out?
Share your story in the comments.
Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.
What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.
Redditor thann3 asked:
"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"
"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."
"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."
"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."
That Reading Voice
"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."
"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."
"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."
"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."
"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."
"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."
"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."
"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."
"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."
"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."
"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."
"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."
That Deep Stare
"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."
The Perfect Sweater
"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."
"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."
The Sleeve Roll Trick
"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."
The Corniest Jokes
"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."
The Perfect Wine Pour
"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."
"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."
Specific Arm Movements
"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."
"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."
Love Language: Physical Touch
"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."
Totally Saved It
"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."
"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."
"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."
"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"
"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."
"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."
While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.
Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!