WARNING[rebelmouse-image 18352013 is_animated_gif=
This article includes stories of people dealing with self-harm, suicide and other traumatic events which may be triggering to survivors.
The Hard Conversations[rebelmouse-image 18352014 is_animated_gif=
Our relationship with our parents is usually the first one in our lives. For most of us, they've been with us through it all. That can make telling them bad news or the fear of disappointing them difficult to overcome. But there are times you simply have to tell your parents the truth, even if it might hurt them.
Reddit user UnluckyOrganization asked "What is the hardest thing you've ever had to tell to your parents?"
Here are some of the stories people shared about difficult family discussions.
Caught Stealing[rebelmouse-image 18352015 is_animated_gif=
When I was in high school, I worked at a fast food place. I would offer a senior discount despite it not being asked for by the customer. I would then proceed to charge them the full rate of the order and pocket the discount. Over the course of a couple of weeks, I had enough money to purchase a new Sony PSP. I would do this on weekends for party money, gas money, because I thought I could get away with it.
One day, I came into work as normal. Was there for maybe an hour and then was pulled into the office.
My manager sent her husband through the drive thru to see if I would offer the discount unprovoked. I did. I was fired on the spot and told that the police would meet me at my house and that I should probably let my parents know before they get there. I proceeded to freak out and was inconsolable. Took me forever to get home even though I lived 5 minutes away.
I told my parents and was nervously waiting for the cops to show up. No cops ever came. My parents grounded me for the whole summer.
I am so grateful I was caught. I know it was something I would have continued to do if I wouldn't have been caught.
Tragic Diagnosis[rebelmouse-image 18352016 is_animated_gif=
That their seemingly normal infant grandson had a terminal disorder and had maybe four years to live.
Splitting Up[rebelmouse-image 18352018 is_animated_gif=
My ex and I of 10 years amicably split up 3 months before our wedding date. When we told my parents together, I'm 100% positive they were expecting us to tell them she was pregnant. Total shock from them.
Her parents knew we were having problems, they weren't surprised.
Mine, however, were blindsided.
Unknown Relations[rebelmouse-image 18352020 is_animated_gif=
That I had known for ten years about the half sibling I wasn't supposed to know about.
I was pretty broken up about it way back when my sister I grew up with spilled the beans. It took me so long to bring it up because at the time, she asked me not to tell our mother that she told me, and I didn't want to betray her.
I never made contact. I thought about it a lot, still do, but I've battled some serious depression in my life and if it went badly it might be bad for my mental health. So I let it be.
Unsupportive[rebelmouse-image 18352021 is_animated_gif=
I had to call and tell them I had to put my University course on hold again because I tried to end my life again.
Didn't help that my parents didn't really believe in depression.
Assisted Living[rebelmouse-image 18352022 is_animated_gif=
Mom, we're moving you out of your house into a home.
Loss of a Brother[rebelmouse-image 18352023 is_animated_gif=
My younger brother died in an accident and was missing for a couple days. My parents didn't know he was missing but his friends had contacted me out of state and pulled me into the loop and I was in touch with law enforcement.
When they called me in the middle of the night to tell me they had found his body, I waited until morning to call my dad and tell him and then he called my mom to tell her.
Waiting the 5 or so hours for it to be a reasonable hour (I hated the idea of waking him up with this news, I figured they may as well get a full night's rest before having to deal with everything), the wait was horrific. I just played and replayed in my head what to say and how he might react. It was bad.
Leaving School[rebelmouse-image 18352024 is_animated_gif=
Telling my parents I flunked out of college was the hardest thing for me. I was terrified for weeks.
I failed out of the 4-year school about 2 years ago. I had no real direction when I went to school, but I was told my entire life that I HAD to get a college degree to be successful, so I went right after high school. Attended for 3 years, I'd been on academic probation the last 3 semesters and finally suspended after that. I panicked so much about telling my parents why I wasn't going back. I actually applied to a different school to make them think I wanted to transfer, despite knowing there was no hope of that happening.
When I did finally tell them they were reasonably mad at me for lying to them. My dad gave me the cold shoulder for a few days, but he came back around. My mom was upset, but she took it better than dad it. The class I kept failing I took at a nearby tech school, where I saw they had a game development program. I'm now working retail full-time, paying down my loans, and going to school on the side. It's not where I thought I'd be, but I feel like I'm finally on the right track.
Loss of a Grandchild[rebelmouse-image 18352025 is_animated_gif=
My younger sister's husband called me on my birthday to tell me that the baby that my sister, his wife, was carrying had died in utero. He asked me in between sobs to call my parents because my sister wanted everyone to come to the hospital before she was put into induced labor to give birth to her stillborn daughter.
So I called my parents, who were in a cafe. First thing my Mum said, naturally (considering what day it was), was 'Happy Birthday, Janie!'
There was no way to break the news nicely, so I just told her that my sister and sister's husband's baby had been stillborn and we were all to meet them at the hospital. I'll never forget the sounds of my Mum wailing with heartbreak in our local cafe.
Coming Out[rebelmouse-image 18352026 is_animated_gif=
Definitely coming out to them. That was a painful experience. They didn't react in a blatantly negative manner, they rather went with the always-so-healthy route of denial.
At the age of 14 hearing "you'll grow out of it" was tough. Telling them 10 yrs later that no I actually hadn't "grown out of it", to be faced with more denial, was quite the experience.
It can take time. My dad basically went through all the stages of grief in about a week. My mom was just upset that she never saw it coming.
My boyfriend's dad took 6 years. From "if you get a boyfriend, I'll literally kill him" to acceptance.
Most people get there in the end.
Loss of a Sister[rebelmouse-image 18352027 is_animated_gif=
One morning I got a call from a police officer who told me the that my sister was found dead in her apartment and that she apparently died of an overdose. She was living in another city and I hadn't spoken to her for 2 or 3 weeks. We knew she was addicted but went through recovery and was doing fine, back in her job and had her life on track for nearly a year.
I can't even remember the words or what exactly he told me because it swept me right off my feet. I just told him to hold on, please hold on I need to find a chair and suddenly my husband was there and talking to the man on the phone.
I then had to tell my parents. We drove over and my mother was alone in the kitchen and I internally screamed because my dad wasn't there. He had a small workshop and went there in the morning. So I told my mother and she just dropped onto the floor with the most horrific scream I ever heard from my mom. I then walked over to the workshop because I didn't want to tell my dad over the phone. I just said her name and he knew, he f'ing knew right away and he just held me while we both cried and then we went back to my mom.
Yeah that was a real shitty day. It's been 7 years since I lost my sister and I still go through severe depression the weeks leading up to the date of her death.
Internet Safety[rebelmouse-image 18352028 is_animated_gif=
To my widowed mom: that if she didn't start using the internet safely (she fell victim to romance scams twice) and stop sending money she doesn't have to strangers online (she's definitely on a fixed income), I'd get power of attorney over her and her finances. Sucks having to parent your parent.
Dealing With It In Their Own Way[rebelmouse-image 18352029 is_animated_gif=
When my best friend begged me to tell my parents what I'd done, I went to their room at 2am and they were awake and just looked at me, of course they knew something was wrong.
Telling my dad I had overdosed in a suicide attempt was literally the hardest thing to ever tell anyone. He didn't even react much, just went silent and drove me to hospital.
On the drive over I think he started talking about how painful it would be to die of liver failure. He's autistic and probably had no idea what was the right thing to say. I remember being awfully nauseous in hospital and he just told me that he loved me unconditionally, so that was really nice.
He definitely tried to be there for me in the days and weeks after it happened without being overly nosy or making me uncomfortable so I really appreciate the way he handled it.
Heartbreaking[rebelmouse-image 18352030 is_animated_gif=
Our parents gave up on being grandparents, but then we announced my wife was pregnant.
The next day she had a miscarriage.
Death in the Family[rebelmouse-image 18352031 is_animated_gif=
I had to call my Mom and tell her I found my Dad dead. Had to call a few family members and tell them that.
My father was sick and had multiple illnesses, one of which was cancer for which he needed chemotherapy. The hospital in the town/city he lived in did not administer that type of chemo, so he was sent to another hospital in a larger city. The hospital was quite a distance from his home, so we flew there and stayed in a hotel during his treatment. My brother and I had been rotating about every three weeks to stay with him and help him out as we lived half way across the country from him.
My brother and I were making the transition and my brother left to go back home that evening. I worked that night from the hotel while watching over my Dad and things went surprisingly well. I wrapped up work for the night and he and I went to bed.
I woke up in the morning to find my father had passed away in his sleep. When I woke up, I just knew he was gone. I could not tell you what it was but something in me just knew he had died. He was a DNR and I had been present when he had that conversation with his doctors, so I know even if I had been awake when he took his last breaths, there really was nothing I could have done in good conscience.
I called 911 as I wasn't sure what else to do. Paramedics responded and pronounced him at the scene. Police arrived about the same time and being the last one to see him and having been in the same room when he died, the police treated it as an investigation. They were very apologetic about having to do that, but I didn't blame them as they didn't know me and obviously had no clue if I might have done something suspicious. I started making calls while they were documenting the room. Between questions from police I was making calls to my brother, my mother, my wife, and my sister in law.
It is a feeling I can't describe other than to call it soul crushing, but calling a loved one knowing you are going to destroy their world is awful. The local PD was very helpful and even offered to contact the PDs where my loved ones were to send local police officers to break the news, but I felt it should come from me, not a random officer. Hearing that "hello" when your loved one picked up the phone was horrifying as I knew what I was going to say next was going to bring them down.
Making those 4 phone calls, knowing what the result will be for the person on the other end of the phone.
Long Distance Love[rebelmouse-image 18352032 is_animated_gif=
This happened when I was 23, and had recently moved back in with my parents.
That I had met someone in a different state and was going to fly there to meet him after only a month of talking, texting, and video chatting. I lived in Oregon and he lived about 760 miles away in California. We met through eharmony. My dad was convinced that the day I left for the airport was going to be the last day he saw his daughter alive. I gave my parents all my flight info, the make and model of his vehicle, his cellphone number, a picture of him, and the license plate of his car. I was trying to be smart with a potentially unsmart decision.
About 8 months after that, I had to tell my parents that I was moving to California to live with him. It was perfect timing in my life and I felt like it was something I just had to do. My parents helped move me down to California and finally got to meet him. They did not agree with my decision but were still supportive.
We got married in October and are expecting our first child in a few weeks. He also has a really good relationship with my parents. He is always asking my dad for advice and my dad finally has the son that he has always wanted.
Scary Diagnosis[rebelmouse-image 18352033 is_animated_gif=
That I had cancer. I live overseas and I know how much my parents miss me, I can only imagine how they felt while I was 10,000 miles away battling it.
I tried to be super positive about it. Mom only wanted to hear as much as was necessary, Dad kept on talking about all the ways I could die or what could go wrong (his way of working out a situation).
I shared it with my mom first whose first concern was that they weren't present enough and made me feel I was battling it on my own, but I assured her that they were the most supportive parents and did everything they could given the distance.
Cancer free for six months now though! I love them a whole lot.
Resources Are Available[rebelmouse-image 18352034 is_animated_gif=
If you or someone you know needs someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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Don't forget to hang up or turn off your phone.
It seems simple enough to remember.
But more and more people seem to forget this simple little step, and find themselves saying things which weren't meant to be heard by the person on the other end of the phone.
Or worse, if it's a FaceTime or Zoom chat, the person on the other end might see something that wasn't meant to be seen.
Redditor ScarTissue5 was curious to hear the many wild things people overheard when people thought they'd hung up, but didn't, leading them to ask:
"What’s the craziest thing you’ve heard someone say after they thought the phone call had ended but they forgot to hang up?"
"A colleague of mine dialed into a meeting of 2-3 managers plus about 25 sales reps only for everyone to suddenly go quiet and for one person to tell him the meeting was cancelled and he could drop as they, the sales reps, were just chatting sales stuff."
"He pretended to hang up and stayed on the line."
"They were basically planning a mutiny because they didn't like that their regional manager was a woman."
"They had a whole strategy for how they were going to cause a massive f*ck up that would cost the company a ton of money and look like it was her fault so she would get fired."
"The dumbwads even did a little 'are we all in agreement' roll call at the end."
"We worked in a call center so his end of the call was recorded."
"Within a week every last one of them was fired and within a month they were replaced."- InternetWeakGuy.Season 6 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Walls are not always soundproof.
"I was looking for a place to rent."
"Met the property manager and she walked me to the unit."
"It wasn't the best neighborhood and my mind was already made up as I was walking around the property with her that I wasn't going to go through with it."
"But the lady was very nice and friendly and I figured I'd at least take a look inside the unit."
"It was small and dingy."
"I looked around and told her nicely that I'd think about it and then walked out."
"After the door closed, I could hear her screaming: 'No, you f*cking won't!'"
" Oh, I'll think about it and let you know.'"
"Certainly glad I did not rent."- SweetDee72.
Overheard at the office.
"I once worked as a secretary in an office that, for some reason, got butt-dialed a lot."
"During one such occasion I got to listen in while some gentleman from New York absolutely roasted one of his employees."
"'Well what the f*ck do you expect me to do?'"
"'Honestly, Tom, honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm sleeping your sister, you would be out of here right now'."- BabySuperfreak.
"Here, kitty, kitty..."
"I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording."- Incontinento
"Another season, another reason..."
"I used to work at a call center that took orders for a lot of different things."
"I took a call from an old lady one day."
"She told me she was 89 and her husband was 92."
"She ordered a generic brand of 'the little blue pills'."
"As she was hanging up I heard:"
"Little old man: Did ya get'm?"
"Little old lady: I sure did."
"Little old man: HOT DAMN I'm gonna get some now!"
"Little old lady: *giggles*"- Shenaniganic.
You'll do this, or else...
"My mother-in-law [MIL] had a new boss who hated her."
"She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d loose part of her pension etc."
"She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants."
"The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences."
"Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line."
"He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying 'Oh, sh*t!' and hanging up."
"She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine."
"It would have absolutely crushed her."
"But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine."
"Then I called that a**hole and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW, but absolutely would if needed in the future, and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired."
"I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of sh*t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life."
"And that’s exactly what happened."
"She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect."
"That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will."
"I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her."- skbiglia.
"You talkin' to me?"
"Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask 'are you wearing pants today?'"
"I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid."
"I just replied 'Yes'."
"She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question."
"We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up."- lexisauce.
A dissatisfied customer.
"I worked in sales, inbound call, and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere."
"We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband."
"As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband."
"'F*ck [company name], are you f*cking shitting me right now?'"
"'$350 a f*cking year?'"
"'I’m not paying that much for this g*ddamn piece of sh*t [product] how the f*ck could that b*tch pitch that with a straight f*cking face?'”
"I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha."
" Inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused."
"I said she was justified because the company sucks."
"It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting."- sh*ttysoprano.
"I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over."
"They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate."
"They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place."
"Never used them again."- a_little_wicked
"I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions."
"She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less."
"She was right about that."
"I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc."
"After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’"- aardvarkyardwork.Michael Buble Gotcha GIF by bublyGiphy
Never underestimate the importance of that little click or your phone returning to its home screen.
Neglecting to take note of those simple little things could land you in more trouble than you could possibly imagine.
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The joy of living in a pluralistic society is the ability to practice any religion one so chooses.
What is often forgotten is that this includes not practicing any religion at all.
Making this hard to remember is when American politicians espouse their conservative views owing to "religious reasons", seeming to forget about the first amendment, and unable to understand others who don't practice their own religion.
Others, however, are more tolerant of those who do not have any divine beliefs, however religious they might be themselves.
Redditor _DSYR was curious to hear views on Atheism from people who were devoutly religious themselves, leading them to ask:
"Religious people, how do you view atheism/atheists?"
They are justified
"I completely understand why someone is Atheist."
"It’s difficult to believe in God when there is no clear evidence."- Profound_RK800.
They're just like us.
"Like normal people."- Noramgami.
"The same as everyone else, just regular people."
"They have their beliefs and I have mine, doesn’t mean we can’t happily coexist or that one opinion is more valid than the other."- Cfurber.
Religion, or lack thereof, doesn't define you as a person.
"One of my good friends is an atheist, and he's a stand up guy."
"We talk about religion from time to time, and it never gets heated or insulting."
"He is interested in learning from my perspective, even if he doesn't believe the same things."
"I've met several people like this, and I hope it's the norm for atheists."
"I've also met several religious people who act like anything but. "
"They are narcisistic, racist, ignorant, and hateful."
"It saddens me to see atheists on reddit who loudly proclaim that religion is a cancer on the world and that anybody who follows one is an idiot."
"To me, these atheists are acting exactly like the religious people they claim to hate: narcissistic, ignorant, and hateful."
"Religion, or lack of, is what you choose to clothe yourself in."
"If you're a bad person, it doesn't matter how you're dressed, you're still going to be a jerk."- JonSnow31391.
Life's too short not to enjoy it.
"I’ve always found it interesting that they don’t believe in like a higher power/deity since, I have never questioned if there was a God, even though I don’t consider myself religious."
"I also have been lucky to have met atheists who believe in making the best out of life bc of the mentality that there is nothing after we die."
"I find that to be incredibly admiring."
"I have never subscribed to the rhetoric of 'this is not our hom'e” in Christianity."
"I believe that earth and heaven are both of our homes equally one for the physical body and one for the spiritual body, so acting like living on earth is a checklist is a load of BS to me."
"I developed this perspective from conversations with my atheist friends."
"So all in all: I respect them and I believe that they act more like Christ than religious people who go to church every week."- Deep-Reindeer3384.
Don't use your beliefs to justify bad behavior.
"Anyone who wraps their belief system around themselves, and parades through the world like a walking billboard sign, is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to belittle, defraud, polarize, segregate, dehumanize, enslave, or destroy others, is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to justify child abuse is a problem."
"Anyone who uses their belief system to encourage government to limit the personal rights/freedoms of others, is a problem."
"Anyone who is more concerned about converting someone than caring for them is a problem."
"If you're atheist and do this, you're a problem....if your theist and do this, you're a problem."
"It's really not that complicated." - User Deleted
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
"I am Christian."
"In my faith, we are taught to love everyone the way we would want to be loved."
"If you tell me you do not follow a faith or have a religion and you choose not to be involved in one because of whatever reason or no reason you have, I will treat you with the same care and respect that I would treat a fellow believer."
"The only way you will ever get anything less than respect from me, is if you purposefully go out of your way to diminish my views."
"I will not shove my faith down your throat."
"Heck, I won’t even speak of it should that be a boundary of yours."
"Mutual respect."- Shi_Cran.
A mother's worries.
"My mom feels sad for me."
"Like a real deep sadness that I think this is all there is."
"How can I not think there’s a perfect afterlife coming?"
"I think she’s worried I won’t be there because I haven’t accepted it as well."
"It’s ironic because I feel sad for her because she doesn’t live her life because the next life will be perfect."- tilineedathrowaway.
There's not just one type of Atheist.
"Depends on the type."
"Type One: people like my husband who were raised in a cult."
"He got out, and now he just sees religion as a farce."
"But he does not judge me for being religious, and he understands why I am, and he is even in agreement that we should raise our son religious."
"But once you leave a cult you are hesitant to ever re-join another religion."
"Zero judgement, I get this one."
"Type Two: the people who do not believe because they are scientific minds and it just does not make sense."
"Absolutely no judgement there."
"I totally get it."
"Type Three: the ones who are smug about it and feel like they have the secret to life by not believing in a God but like, what does that do for you exactly?"
"Why are you so smug?"
"No real respect for those people, and not because they are atheist but because they are douches."- flowergirl654.
No one should be judged for their religion or lack of religion.
Only when people do not treat others with the kindness and respect they deserve should people even begin to throw judgment.
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Reddit is one if those internet things that either you totally get, or you absolutely don't.
To some, it's a ridiculous echo chamber of people who live to egg one another on.
To others, it's a supportive community with its own sort of rules, culture, superlatives, and even language.
Whichever camp you fall into, there's some stuff you need to know if you're gonna survive.
Like it truly doesn't matter if you're in the woods to cut it down or to enjoy the splendor - you should still know that bears will eat your face off and they don't necessarily kill you first.
Reddit user ihavethebestmarriage asked:
"What are some reddit rookie mistakes?"
So here's how to avoid getting your proverbial face eaten off by an e-bear on Reddit.
"Thinking consensus on Reddit represents widely accepted views in outside world."
"I used to secretly make fun of people who quoted Reddit as a credible source before I joined. Now I increasingly find myself starting sentences with, 'I read on Reddit…'."
"That’s your mistake. You just have to say 'I read that…..' and never mention that your source is a random Reddit comment."
"Yes. To avoid the shame."
The Nothing AwardsGIF by Australian OpenGiphy
"Unnecessary award speech edits"
"Also: following up with a 'what do I do with this gold' question."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
"Also: What do I do with all this karma."
"Nothing sir. The answer is nothing."
"My mom joined reddit and was posting in subreddits related to her work."
"She wasn't constantly shilling, but would if the person was in her service area, mention her business explicitly."
"Her username even included her business name in it."
"I had to explain that Reddit wasn't really supposed to be a marketing tool in the same way Twitter or Facebook were."
"It is, though, you just have to frame it in a cutesy way so that people can pretend you aren't marketing: "
" 'I just started my business! Here's a cupcake I made!' "
"Predictable redditor or sock puppet account: 'I would buy one of those!! Where are you located??'."
"No, it's better to say 'I just found this business, they look like they could really use support'."
"A LOT of those posts are self-advertising, as reddit generally is against that, along with it being against the rules in a lot of subreddits."
"Know someone who used to help smaller businesses do that, basically advertise their stuff pretending to be a 'genuine' person who just happened to discover and post about their stuff."
"Happens a lot more than people think, even on a large scale. Businesses have been hiring actors and people to pretend to like their products for ages now."
"I had no idea my low social status could keep my posts from going live."
" 🥺 That explains a lot"
"This is to prevent new accounts bots from polluting the place, your karma will rack up quickly as you interact with people, give and get awards, etc."
"I just gave you a my gifted silver award… now it’s prompting me to buy more awards."
"I didn’t realize people were paying to give awards and now I went from wondering 'how' to wondering 'why'…"
"It irritates me to no end when people treat Reddit like it's a 90s forum used by 37 people."
" 'I'm new here, first time poster' "
"My first reply to a question like that was '14/not yet/home'."
"I was a dumb kid in the 90s."
"I like to say: I don't really know American Sign Language, but I am trying to learn"
In The First Placegeorge w bush door GIFGiphy
"Joining reddit in the first place"
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."
" 'Relax, ' said the night man, 'We are programmed to receive'."
"Exactly. Leaving is the easy part. It's staying away that's tough."
"Reddit is like Runescape. You never stop once you start. You just take breaks"
Lurk Hard, Play HardTim And Eric Reaction GIFGiphy
"Spend some time in a subreddit before commenting."
"Read the rules, read the FAQ, read the top-voted posts. Spend a week and see what topics come up often. Search prior posts which discuss the same topic you want to post about."
"I browsed comments for like a year before I even made an account."
"I wish that I could remember what comment I needed to make so badly that I created an account after more than a year of lurking."
"When you comment 'This.' under someone else’s comment."
"Just give them your upvote and move on, no need to comment if you aren’t adding anything meaningful to the topic"
"Louder for the people in the back!"
"Believing everything you read and at the same time disbelieving everything you read that goes against your personal opinion/narrative."
"Having a healthy dose of skepticism without being a jerk about it is a good life skill in general."
"Yup but that’s not just reddit rookies, that’s 80% of the global population."
"A good habit I’m working to build is whenever I have a question about anything, even if I’m thinking to myself, I google it."
"It helps build a strong knowledge base."
Shhjim carey comedy GIFGiphy
"Responding to every reply to your AskReddit post."
"I do this LOL. I like doing it because I asked a question and people have responded, so I respond back because I want them to know that I read it and found what they said interesting."
"I do it because I have nothing else to do."
"Every comment boosts the likelihood that the post will survive more than an hour."
"Askreddit new is brutal. Unless you get a bunch of comments or karma within 30 minutes or so, your post will die a quiet death."
"Then its really just shh"
And there you have it - a survival manual for the wildest place I'm the universe.
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