Wait long enough at any dinner party, and almost surely someone has a story like this. A tale from their past, usually involving ignoring the law and breaking a couple of rules, which they happily share with anyone who will listen. People with a "breaking the law" story from their youth and, most surprisingly, from old age feel a liberation to ignoring the status quo and living to tell the tale. Sometimes they're epic, sometimes they're a little smaller, as evidenced by the following stories.
Reddit user, u/StrangeDamage9, wanted to know about those times when braking the law was life-changing when they asked:
What is the most illegal thing you've done and gotten away with?
When You Absolutely Need To Play
I used to technically break into my high school after hours just to play computer games. (Well before people had PC's at home.) I'd just unlock a window and then come back into the school later.
This is actually kind of impressive.
Fire Me, Will You?!
I stole my boss's car when he said I wasn't allowed to quit my job (we were based really far in the mountains and the only way to leave was with his vehicle... so thats what i did). I left the car a day later in a nearby town.
I need to know more. Why didn't he let you quit? What happened when you stole the car???
It was an equestrian centre in Bavaria. They exclusively hired extremely young foreign girls and took advantage of them. I worked illegal hours... getting up at 5am and finishing at 9pm with about 15 minutes rest. I was also promised at least 1 day off a week but it turned into 1 day off a month. There was no way off of this mountain, and it was January, so it was dangerous to walk anywhere. I told my boss I was done and wanted to go home, but he told me that I had to fulfil [sic] my 3 month contract. I tried calling a taxi in the night but they said they wouldn't send anyone up there.
One afternoon I decided f-ck it, and I waited until my boss and his wife was out in the paddock when I went into their house and stole their car key. They were parked facing a snow bank, and as I threw my bag in the back I remembered that the car doesn't reverse and you have to push it out. I couldn't do it by myself, so I just smashed through the snow bank instead. There was some scratches to the front. I drove over an hour to the nearest village and tried to hide the car as best I could before getting a b&b for the night with a fake name (OTT i know but i was 18 at the time and was on a dramatic high lol). Next day I drove the car to the nearest train station and left it there with the key behind one of the wheels...
Never know what happened to it. I got a text from my boss that day but I deleted it without reading because I was so scared about what it could say. Flew back home and never heard from them again.
When You Absolutely Need To Play Pokémon GO
I once smuggled my smartphone into the military, kept it inside a book Andy Dufresne style, used it when I was alone and got away with it.
How did you charge it??
You're allowed to keep your power bank in your locker in my country's military, so every once in a while I took it to bed and charged it under the pillow.
To Be Fair, This Doesn't Seem Like Your Fault
I bought 2 sets of furniture one day. An end table and an dining room table set that was in 3 boxes. All of it was assembly required, all stacked up on a heavy duty cart, all from the same company. The cashier scanned the top item, an end table that was 50 bucks, and thought it was the whole cart of sh-t, worth 500 bucks.
I was poor and I accepted his mistake.
Sorry. i am bad.
That's how I got a free Nintendo switch, grabbed it with the full intent to buy it but when they didn't scan it I wasn't gunna say anything, did speed walk out of the store as fast as possible tho
What A True Mafioso...?
Serial Jaywalker right here. I do it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Try and stop me.
I'm making a Citizens Arrest. Right Now.
Target Better Be On The Lookout
A friend of mine would compulsively steal from clothes stores all the time, she'd brag about how she could get away with anything and would put on jewelry and clothing and just walk out. Then one day she started working for the store and they had a binder full of faces pulled from CCTV who'd been caught and oh no, hers was in there. To her advantage she'd changed hair color and had lost quite a bit of weight so wasn't easily recognizable but I doubt it really taught her any real lesson.
We don't talk anymore.
Was it Target? Their LP does NOT eff around and will purposely let you get away with it at first just so they can start building a case and hit you with a whammy
So what you're saying is that you can steal one thing from every Target.
The giant flat-screen bandit has hit every Target on the east coast. But NEVER twice!
All Signs Point To: REBEL
I took a lot of street signs as a teen. It was dumb, but whatever. They are still stashed in the woods. I've considered returning them to somewhere where it can be picked up because I feel kinda sh-tty about it today.
The best is when you take it and you put it in your friends yard at night and they wake up and see a sign planted in their yard.
Who Wouldn't Need A New Door?
I once stole a guy's apartment door for a little while.
I want so much more information than that!
My friend and I saw that he'd had a new door delivered but it wasn't yet installed. We took it, leaned it up against a tree nearby, and invited people to the party at our new place. They came and it was a good time. It got cut short when the door's owner caught us, politely asked for his door back, and we returned it.
It's The Thought That Counts?
The other day I was taking my shopping to the car with a trolly and I realized I hadn't scanned a packet of vegetable stock that was hidden underneath my bags. I felt too awkward to go back into the TESCO to explain the situation, so kept it. I'm so sorry Lairg TESCO, I owe you one!
Get your pitchforks ready there's a monster among us.
And The Winner? House. Stole A House.
We stole a house.
As young poor mountain hippies (way different from city hippies) unable to afford building materials, we came across a (seemingly) abandoned 2 story cabin in the woods. No furnishings or windows. So the three of us dismantled it board by board and salvaged the hand hewn beams and every scrap of lumber. Even found opiate elixirs antique bottles hidden in the walls under 1800's newspaper used for insulation. It took several weeks, many trips over the mountain, and much hard labor, but we considered it a recycling project.
On the last day, as we were securing the final load on my '47 Dodge flatbed truck', the property owner showed up and was angry and amazed at the same time. This was before cell phones and the nearest phone was miles away. We apologized, saying we thought it was abandoned, and left. He couldn't even prove that the house ever existed we left the site so clean.
No dude, the story can't end there. This man went home to his family and had to explain the cabin he bought to fix up was TAKEN away and that next years week long camping trip is canceled.
H/T: Reddit
Do You Even Lift, Bro?
Used to break into my high school to use the weight room :-D
Would just leave the lights off and lift in the dark!
Probably creeped the shit out of the custodian who would hear grunting and metallic noises coming from a dark room.
It's just the ghost of swoleness past.
Shots Fired
I returned from an active war zone, by aircraft, and then taxi and public transport on the train, hitch hiking the last 2 miles. When I got back to my parent's house, I dumped all my dirty laundry and headed out to see my girlfriend right away.
When i got back my mother had put my smock in the wash, with a ton of ammunition in the pocket that I had not known I had in there.
That can get you in a lot of trouble, and it was a total accident. I decided the best place for it was at the bottom of a deep hole with a pond on top.
You Want A Pizza Me?
I once took the last slice of pizza at a birthday party.
I later realized I forgot to ask the buyer of said pizza before I snatched that delicious morsel away from anyone else's grasp.
I am ashamed.
That Escalated Quickly
When I was 16 I was making some very high quality fake IDs. But I was also participating in a site called ShadowCrew that focused on carding, identification etc. Well somehow I got access to the "Upper levels" VPN. But the site operator had been busted and the VPN was essentially just a monitoring device for the US Secret Service.
Eating dinner with my parents one night, I hear a smashing at the front door, look down the hall and see the door fly open with about 5 guys in kevlar with automatic weapons and then the back door flies in as well with "RCMP RCMP! GET ON THE FLOOR!". I was handcuffed in front of my parents and taken in for questioning with 2 USSS agents watching. I guess they thought I was a lot bigger than I actually was, they put me in a cell until 3am then let my dad come pick me up. I never heard another word from them again, no charges, no follow up. I was in the newspapers etc. You can read about the operation on Wikipedia it was called Operation Firewall. They arrested like 30 people around the world at the same time and a lot of people did time.
This is the excerpt from the news article describing me. They got the username wrong due to my info being sealed:
A 17-year-old Canadian went by the nics "Liquid Dust," "LIQ.dust," or simply "Dust," American authorities say. But this is impossible to corroborate through police and prosecutors in Canada; the teen's name cannot be published because of provisions of the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
A third teen was later also taken into custody.
Details of the crimes allegedly perpetrated by the Canadians remain sealed by court order, as prosecutors in that province continue to weigh what, if any, charges will be laid against them.
But what investigators in both countries allege is that the 17-year-old was the mastermind.
"He was unusual," says Johnson, "in that you typically don't get that high up in that hierarchy at that (young) age.
And one of its elite, police allege, was a 17-year-old youth, said by police to be the brains behind a Canadian document forgery and drugs operation that allegedly included two accomplices from the Lower Mainland.
Armed officers from the Vancouver Emergency Response Team, the local RCMP detachment and the Vancouver police arrested the youth at his Richmond home as he sat at the dinner table eating lasagna with his father, brother and a teenage friend on Oct. 26, 2004. His computer, switched on when officers arrived, was taken into evidence.
"We went in there and literally the fork just came out of the mouth," Det.-Const. Mark Fenton, a computer crime investigator with the Vancouver Police Department, says. "Then I had to sit down with the [17-year-old's] parents and explain why we were there because obviously [they] were dumbfounded, to say the least."
Goldilocks
Finding a random suburban unlocked home in the middle of the night, sneaking into the house and emptying the liquor cabinet.
Pushing Your Luck
I used to steal Playstation 2 consoles. The Wal-Mart Supercenter by the place I was staying at, had sensors (specifically set to respond to the strips that were stickered onto each unit's box) that would trigger the alarm system by both of the sets of doors on each of grocery and general merchandise sides, but I noticed that the home and garden department had an exit after the registers that had no sensors, so I would put a PS2 in my cart, and some other things to make it look realistic, stroll out of the gardening department, and just kept doing it. After the tenth time or so, they installed sensors by the gardening doors.
So I started peeling off the stickers, so that I could still walk through said doors without triggering the alarms. Several consoles later, they implemented a policy of locking up the consoles, so I would ask an employee to get one of them out of the locked cases for me, and then I would repeat the process. Then, it became policy that once they console had been taken out of the locked cases, they were required to be checked out before leaving the electronics department. That is when I started stealing them from Best Buy, which turned out to be much easier. I would walk in with a legitimate but dated receipt for a PS2, pick one up, walk to the door, they would glance at said receipt, and let me walk out.
Several successful repeats later, I saw the difference in policy when they started reading the receipts much more carefully, so I would walk in with an empty PS2 Box, (making sure that it had the small metallic strip on it that would set of the alarm when coming in) get a pink sticker on it (this denotes that the merchandise came in for return or repair, so that it could be walked out with) then casually stroll over to the PS2s proudly on display, take the pink sticker off of my empty box, place said empty box in the display, and slap the sticker onto the new box, walk to the front, go through slowly so that the alarm would go off, brandish the sticker towards the employee at the front, so that I would be waved on out.
This all happened during the winter of 2000 and lasted until the fall of 2001 when I got a job, which changed my outlook drastically. I completely lost count of how many consoles I got away with. If I'm being boastful, I would say in the 70's, but honestly, it was prolly much closer to the fifties in quantity. I'm not proud of the choices, and to be frank, as much as it was for the money, there was a much more needy concept of feeling like I was outsmarting (for all intents and purposes) THE WORLD, but I know that I would just being a shitty person, and making life harder on good people that worked at the Wal-Mart locations, and the Best Buys that I preyed on.
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Everyone has their travel bucket list.
The list of places they absolutely must visit before they die.
There are those, however, who also have a rather different list of destinations.
The places that have no intention to visit.
Be it for safety concerns, language barriers, or simply that there's nothing at these places that calls to them, there are places some wouldn’t dream of spending the time and money to visit.
Redditor TrooperJohn was curious to hear which places were at the very bottom of the list of travel destinations for his fellow Redditors, leading them to ask:
"What is a popular tourist destination you have no interest in visiting?"
Oasis in the desert? No thank you.
"Dubai."
"Why and whats special about it?"
"Its a modern city in a desert."- Maximum_Calendar_791.
"Dubai."
"A fake city with fake people, no human rights, where the world's tallest buildings hide corruption and slavery in their shadows."
"It's like someone decided to take every problem of mankind and concentrate it in one spot."- PayNoNoticeOfMe.
"Dubai one i think it is ugly two I would die in two minutes of me being there I can't stand anything above 40 c°."- BookWormPerson.
One of the seven wonders is one too many for me.
"The pyramids. "
"Too many horror stories of Egypt."- Aemiom.
Landlocked.
"Not really a destination, but taking a cruise."- Shortbus_Playboy.
Mountains aren't really my thing.
"Everest."
"Just why."
"You use a bunch of money to get in there them come down."
"And trash your whole way there. It's literally a corner in the Earth insufferable for humans and we still made a way to go there to trash it."- ACLullaby.
It's in my own backyard... but still not interested.
"I have lived about 15km away from the Burj Khalifa ever since it was made."
"I could not care any less besides the occasional pointing out the 'shiny tall building' to my nieces.- legolosss.
The pictures are enough for me.
"Mount Rushmore."
"Friends who've made the journey to Mount Rushmore mostly say it was no big deal and not worth the effort or expense to travel there."- Back2Bach.
Hustle and Bustle? No thanks.
"Anything busy.'
"Whether it's cities, structures, I don't care."
"I'd rather go to a boring empty quiet place than a place full of people."- TheSmeep.
They're watching us.
"That creepy a** place in Japan with all the realistic dolls."
"No thank you."
Some dream of paying a visit to these places.
Others hope they never have to set foot there, and will choose to leave it to the other millions of tourists.
To each, their own.
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When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"

Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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