Honest People Reveal The Worst Blows They've Had To Their Self-Esteem
We have all been knocked down in life, but some setbacks sting more than others especially when they hit our self-esteem. Here are some examples that destroyed people's self-esteem.
GameHackBot asks: What was a punch to your self esteem?
When it just wasn't right
I got a job I'd wanted for years. And then I failed at it.
When you couldn't seem to get back on track
When I got laid off a bunch of years ago. Applying for jobs and never hearing back, interviewing and never hearing back...was a dark time for me.
Ouch
"I thought you were annoying when I first met you." Now I'm scared everyone thinks I'm annoying.
What a good friend...
My friend said because I have a space inbetween my teeth, I should avoid smiling
When you are unwanted
Realizing that 99% of the time, I'm the one who has to set up plans with my friends, and how those friends frequently hang out without me without at least inviting me...
That must have taken a lot of flawless planning
Finding out I was the "other woman" for an entire two+ year relationship
Heart breaker!
Back when I was in my early 20s, I worked with this wonderful lady. We were pulling 15 to 16 hour days, 6 days a week. We grew close. I developed a crush on her. She knew it. Our boss knew it. Our coworkers knew it. Hell, customers who spent more than 10 minutes in our presence knew it. But she was married, so I didn't ask her out or anything.
Well, one day she lets me know her and her husband had split up. I was thrilled, but didn't say anything, because she said she wasn't ready to date yet.
A month later there's someone at my door. It's my crush. She asks if I want to go out with her that night. Elated, I tell her hell yea. Grab a quick shower, and we head out.
We spend a wonderful night together. We shoot pool, listen to the live band, dance together, have dinner.
Around midnight I buy her a rose and stuffed bear and give it to her.
She looks at the bear & rose, at me, back at the rose, then looks me dead in the eye and says; and I'll never forget these words for the rest of my life.
"You know this isn't a date, right? I just wanted you along so I'd have a designated driver."
I nervously laughed. Said yea, I just thought the bear and rose would cheer her up. She went back to talking to a couple of the people we were shooting pool with.
I went and found the most secluded booth in the darkest corner I could. I crawled into the seat and sat there for the next 3 hours nursing a soda until the bar closed.
The ride back was silent. Neither of us said a word. I dropped her off, and went home.
After that night we only talked one more time, when she wanted to know if I knew of a good local babysitter.
Quadruple rejection
Once got stood up by four people at once, each of whom I considered to be my only friends at the time. That sucked.
Brutal online dating
I had been chatting to this girl online and we arranged to go on a date and when I got there she wasn't there. After waiting for a while I gave her a call and when she picked up she laughed and told me I must be crazy if I thought me and her was gonna happen. Then a similar thing happened again and I stopped online dating.
When your best efforts are tarnished by a six-year-old
Christmas a few years back. We were staying with family and were going to drive out and meet up with extended family, so I decided it would be nice put in a real effort to look my best - clothes, grooming, hair.
So as everyone is gathered in the hallway about to go get in the cars, I notice my 6 year old niece is looking me up and down, with a look of growing concern on her face. Finally she comes up to me, and whispers "are you really sure you're going to go and meet Grandma looking like that?!"
At that age you know they're not trying to be cruel, they're just speaking their mind. Theoretically I probably looked ok and I know in my mind that I shouldn't be taking style tips from a 6 year old anyway, but for some reason her worried frown made my heart sink.
A deep dig!
The impatient girlchild at my local gym on the first day who wanted to use the treadmill I had just started on.
"Look, I'm in a rush and it's good you're working out but you will always be ugly so why bother?"
I ignored her, used it for about an hour with her constantly comming back over to see if I were done then hopped off it and went to cry in my car.
I will never understand why people try to put down on others at least trying to better themselves.
Family shame
I grew up the younger brother of one sister. She was smart, pretty, successful, and I really wasn't. One time back in high school, my parents had a bunch of friends over for dinner. I stayed secluded in the basement for a while, but hunger got to me, and so I decided to go upstairs for some food. As I was going up the stairs, I overheard my parents telling everybody that my sister "got both the brains and the looks in the family." All their friends laughed and agreed.
It really validated what I already knew, but it hurt nonetheless.
Mom is savage
I dated this girl in HS and her mom straight up told me I wasn't hot enough for her daughter. I asked why her husband left her. I wasn't allowed back :(
Job hunting is brutal on your self esteem
Just happened to me lately... Getting rejected by every company you applied to. Just feels like the hardest slap in the face like the world telling you you're not good enough
When you just don't fit in
Finding out that despite my kids and husband being born in this little town, that I'm still and will always be an outsider. I've volunteered, done community events, everything this place has offered I've taken part in. It's not enough. Makes everything I've done feel pretty worthless.
When you're desperate for a compliment
Every time we see family that we don't see often they come up to me and my sister. She gets "oh my gosh you're so grown up and beautiful!" And I get "wow! You're so.... tall!"
I'm 20 and she's 13. I know she got the good traits but I haven't been called beautiful in years. I don't even care if it's lie.
Some things just slip out...
My friend looking at a picture of me from when i was 40 lbs lighter and saying "woah!!! That's you????" :/
What a jerk!
I heard from people he told that I was a fish in bed.
That's going to leave a mark
All my ex-girlfriends cheated on me with richer, more attractive dudes.
Every. Single. One.
This one is seriously sad
The realization that my now ex-wife had to get drunk to be willing to have sex with me.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
​Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
​This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
​Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
​This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
​Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
​Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.​
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run