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Hilarious People Joke About What Skills Become Suspicious If You're Too Good At Them

Hilarious People Joke About What Skills Become Suspicious If You're Too Good At Them

You have to have skills in life in order to sustain. And everybody has skills. Some skills are obvious and others kept on the DL. Of course all skill, even when just inherent, becomes perfected through practice. Sometimes though too much practice can lead to trouble. You want to make talent look natural and learning skill does attribute to one's talent but you don't want to make it seem too easy.

Redditor _Jarhead_71 asked the internet to reveal... What everyday skill becomes suspicious if you're TOO good at it? Maybe dumb it down for the outside eye just a smidge.

THAT BLOWS...

Weighing small quantities and knowing convenient reference weights (e.g. the weights of currency). Identifying off-white powders.

OFFICE STALKER!

Being able to tell who is in the bathroom with you at work.

Rvirg

THIS IS A THING?

I almost always know..

There's 1 bathroom.. and the way to that bathroom is like a 3 way intersection where my office door is.. people walking towards the door would only be coming from the back of the building, and that's only going to be one of two people.. It's easy to tell which way anyone came from just by listening when they walk by, and the sound and speed of their footsteps.. The other way is on the opposite side of the building, and again, I would hear them coming from that direction before they pass by my door.. 90% of the time anyone in the bathroom is gonna be the guy with IBS that poops 20 times a day.

Bruce_Jenners_Weiner

WHAT'S THAT GLORIOUS SCENT?

Recognizing people's smells can get kind of weird when you're good at it. When I was 10/11 in school if someone left a jumper on the playground and it didn't have a name in it I would just smell it and give it back to whoever owned it. Once I grew up a bit more I realized it was weird to smell people's clothes so I stopped; but I can still recognize someone's possessions just by their smell.

WHOSE THE HOUSE?

Dealing and shuffling cards.

IT'S ALWAYS A BIRTHDAY!

Guessing passwords.

stevp19

RESPONSE?

Its kinda sad the amount of people whose passwords are 'password', 'password123', etc.

Mnky313

User: Buffalo Wild Wings

Password: BuffaloWildWings

Kefro

HELLO HANNIBAL LECHTER...

Getting stains out of carpet.

I KNOW EVERYTHING!

Every place I've worked I always memorize each and every person. Names, physical features, and vehicle. Usually in case of an emergency because you never know. It takes time but you learn a lot.

PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Knowing who someone is by the sound of their steps.

SOMETHINGS DON'T NEED A SHORTCUT...

My boss was setting up my time tracking account and it didn't work. He had to try to log in with in. I told him the shortcut to open an incognito window in chrome (ctrl+shift+n).

But thinking about it the shortcut is much more useful to a developer (who has to test logins or unauthorized access occasionally) then to your average masturbator.

UM... IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER...

Memorizing names, phone numbers, favorite colors, credit-card numbers, people's daily routines, usual whereabouts.

billbapapa

REACTIONS?

What they had to eat last night, how many times they went to the restroom, how many times they walked past your tree etc...

Xertious

See, I know it's seen as creepy so I make an act like "Oh yeah! I remember now..." or if I learn information about a person before they can tell me on their own, I pretend not to know until the person says the information themselves. I really do just remember a lot of stuff about the people in my life, though. Then on top of that, I suppose I connect dots more often than other people too. Like if someone I'm talking to says, "Oh yeah, Tommy and I grew up together!" I remember that, and then even weeks/months later, that same person says, "I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio" then I know that means Tommy probably also grew up in Cleveland. But if I say this to Tommy, I'm gonna come across as creepy.

wanttolovewanttolive

People Describe The Most Traumatizing Thing They Ever Experienced As A Child

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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childhood

People Divulge The Real Reason Why They're Still Single

Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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being single

Chefs Divulge The Most Important Tips That Amateur Cooks Need To Know

Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

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cooking

People Describe The Most Inappropriate Thing They Ever Did As A Kid

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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