This article is based on the AskReddit question "Haunted house actors, what's is the funniest thing you have seen while scaring people?"
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/15. I was working a tunnel in a haunted corn maze with a creepy mask on. I had a secret door I would come out of and appear behind people.
A couple walked through. The guy saw me and didn't jump so I held a finger to my lips and sneaked up beside his girlfriend. She reached her hand to hold her boyfriends hand. So I grabbed it and laced my fingers and we walked slowly forward together. A couple steps later she started to turn and say "I'm so freaked ou ... " we made eye contact and she screamed murder, and then passed out. Me and the boyfriend erupted in laughter and helped her to her feet. She was hitting him while screaming obscenities at him. Funniest job I've EVER had.
2/15. I was a talking head on a table. A group of five people led by a girl comes into my room and when the get close to me I say "Hello" fairly nonchalantly. The girl in front screams and falls backwards with a domino effect taking everyone else in her group with her.
3/15. Was a faceless hood trying to scare people from behind the curtains, but didn't hear them approaching, so I didn't manage to pop out to scare them. They pulled open the curtains and asked me which way the exit was. It was both humiliating and amusing .
4/15. My brother worked at a haunted jail in my town. He said it was all going well until like an hour before it ended. Nobody was showing up and he had to take a leak. So he decides to piss in the corner. As he unzips and starts, he hears talking and commotion. Of course, he couldn't stop. So by the time that large group of people reached the cell and looked in expecting a scare, they saw a wolf man pissing in the corner. And he says, the only thing he did was turn his head and growl at them while pissing.
5/15. I was the guy who opened the door when a group went from one room to another. I wore this black cloak that had a hood that almost entirely covered my face (was thin enough I could see through it). These two kids (13-15 years old) came around the corner as I was moving my head back and forth looking at people and one of them said "dude these animatronics suck". I took a single step forward and he screamed in a really high pitch and jumped so far back he smashed into the wall. His friend stopped moving for a solid minute to laugh at him.
Continue reading on the next page!
6/15. I got to work in the special VIP attraction last year at my local place, it's basically a really dark trail in the woods, but the actors are allowed to touch guests. Grabbing and pulling people off into the woods and whatnot. Hiding kind of sucks, I had to lay in the mud and grab at people's ankles and then chase after them, but the funniest goddamn thing is the world is the lanterns. We give them little electronic hand-lanterns as their only light source, and two guys have remotes that can turn them on and off. Every time, without fail, the guy's girlfriend is yelling at him to stop turning the lantern off. It's even better if you have a really dark costume because then you can walk up behind them, lay a hand on their shoulder and say "Yeah jerk, don't turn the lantern off!
7/15. I volunteered at one for a few years in high school. The best thing that happened was that I saw a girl from grade school going through the room. She obviously couldn't recognize me so as she passed I whispered her name. She got a huge fright and the next day she asked on Facebook who was working in the haunted house. I never told her who it was.
8/15. My costume was vaguely like the girl from The Ring, a year or two after the movie came out. Pink little girl's dress, long black wig over my face. I was pretty tiny back then and quite flexible, so I could contort myself in pretty creepy ways. Add a strobe light and you've got some terrifying movements. Without fail, it was always the huge football players in letter jackets who would absolutely lose their minds in my room screaming, trying to climb the walls to get away, breaking and running, the whole works. Usually their girlfriends would be standing by calmly. One guy's reaction was especially delicious. Once he saw me in the corner, contorted but slowly uncurling to drag myself across the floor, he screamed "Oh HELL no!" and ran through the nearest wall. Just took it right out (made of plywood, plaster, and some dry wall). Someone else ended up having to take him to first aid because because even once I was out of character he still couldn't stand to be near me. I won an award that year for Best Scarer.
9/15. I was a psycho chainsaw clown that chased people out of the exit of the haunt and I'd say the funniest thing is when people lose their minds and just fall all over each other. Also some people have literally zero survival instinct and when I jump out and chase them they don't run they just immediately cower into a corner. I would yell well isn't this awkward to make them laugh and usher them out. Girls throw more punches than guys do too.
Continue reading on the next page!
10/15. I worked the last couple years volunteering at a haunted barn. Last year I was a nurse in charge of the insane asylum room. I wore scrubs and had my hair in weird pigtails. Lots of white makeup with dark circles under my eyes. I stood right where people walked in and I just stood still, no blinking, no head turning. I'd just follow them with my eyes. Many people thought I was one of the anamatronic. While people were focused on me trying to figure out if I was real or not, another guy would jump out of the coffin in a straight jacket and scare the crap out of people.
One night he scared a girl so bad she fell in the coffin with him and had her crotch in his face. He couldnt get her out because he was in a straight jacket so I had to go help lift her out, but I was laughing so hard it took longer than it should have.
11/15. I was an actor at The Haunted Hotel (located in the basement of this huge building downtown San Diego) and one season, we had half a car attached to a track that can be pushed quickly forward, complete with a real working horn and headlights. So when people walk threw the pitch darkness, a staff member would shove the car into motion, blare the horn and the headlights simultaneously, blinding the guests and making them shit themselves.
I have never laughed this hard in my entire life at anything. People's reactions where absolutely horrified on a debilitating level, their faces were indescribable, Im talking 'preparing for death' faces. People would fall over backwards, men would push their dates in front of them... I couldn't breathe and my abs constantly hurt from barreling over laughing every night. Most incredible job I've ever had.
12/15. My friend and I worked in a room as crazed mechanics who were operating power tools on a dead woman. We used air compressed drills and acted out drilling into this dead woman. Ripping her head off and such. Now, like most places there's a no touching rule. However, the attachment bit to these drills are just cylinders so we could run them along surfaces to make metal grinding noises/ scare people. The wooden floor would vibrate violently if the drills were used on them.
Well, we had a group of teenage girls come in that were so scared of these drills and that we were going to "kill them" that they ran into the corner of our room, climbed a shelf and stayed up there in pure panic. We couldn't get them down for about ten minutes and had to act out the scene a few more times because other groups were sent in.
Continue reading on the next page!
13/15. One year I worked as a tiny doll girl and talked in creepy child voice, asking them if they wanted to meet "Mr. Giggles," my favorite doll. Giggles is a 6.5' man with a chainsaw in a closet. Everything from flapping to screaming ensued, but the best was when some girl literally jumped into the baby crib in the room to escape himshe got stuck, he lifted her out, then picked up the chainsaw and chased her out while she screamed "I'm gonna piss my pants!" We still talk about it.
14/15. I was stationed in a room in a costume that was way too tall for it. The costume sits on your shoulders, extends your arms by a couple feet, and towers over people. The entrance was in one corner, and the exit was in the corner right next to the entrance, so people really only had a fleeting glimpse at a dark room and a little motion before they were already out again. I got pretty bored, so I left my corner and blocked the exit.
A group of girls came through, and the one in front bumped into me. That's when I throw the arms out to the sides and start screaming. She starts screaming in terror, beating me in the face (creature's chest) and runs right into the corner I was supposed to be hiding in. So I chased her and boxed her in. Now she's punching me as hard as she can to try to escape, but I don't let up. She finally pushes me back with all her might and yells out "I just peed my pants!
15/15. Oh a great number of things, as I've worked and ran haunts for nearly 20 years.
Some of my favorite moments:
1) Four gangsta wanna-be guys, late teens or early 20's. Acting all big and tough, we let them on through into the haunt. Minute later when they hit Regan's Room (we had a lifesize doll of Regan from Exorcist that would spin it's head and then squirt water on you from it's mouth) and we hear a bunch of 12 year old girls screaming.
"I didn't think there were any girls in that group?"
"Oh! haha! come on, we're missing it!"
These four gangsta wanna-be's screamed like little girls the entire way through, and by the end were running out of there all back to back to back to back spinning like a gawddam top so nothing could sneak up behind them.
2) Little old lady, had to be 80 dragging her two 60 year old sons by their hands into the haunt, telling them in the sweetest little old grandma voice you can imagine "Now now boys, don't be scared." She gets into the last room which was dressed as a movie theater where the entire screen would break open as a giant monster jumped out. She sat front row centre. (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
My friend literally got his phone out and dialed 911 and was waiting to hit Send. Monster jumps out 2 inches from her nose, she shrieks, and then just collapses. We all rush in, she turns and looks at us and starts laughing. "We have movement!"
3) Family of five pulls up to the haunt one year when me and a buddy are working the lines. Mom, dad, middle sister, younger brother all get out. Oldest daughter refuses to leave the SUV. Dad comes up to us, hands me the keys to the car, and says "Go get her and bring her in."
My friend and I look at each other, back at him, I stop and take my mask off. "Excuse me, I just want to make sure I heard this right. You are giving me the keys to your car and telling me that you want me to go drag your daughter out of your car, kicking and screaming?" "Yup." "YES SIR!"
We both jog over there, she sees us coming and locks the door and looks all smug. I hold up the key fob and click unlock. Her eyes go wide as she hits the lock again. We do that a couple of times before I walk up and put the key physically in the hatchback lock (auto lock won't function if the key is physically turning the lock to open it). We start crawling into the SUV over the back seats as she is scrambling reverse crab walk over them up between the bucket seats, where she actually goes into full blown hysterical paralyses and completely loses the ability to move or do anything.
We decide thats enough and go give the keys back to dad with "I think we broke her."
4) Any of the boyfriend/girlfriend couples where the boyfriend starts yelling "Take her! Take her!" or literally throwing their girlfriends at us so they can get away. It has become our standard response to catch the girlfriend, make sure she's steady, then yell after him "Dude, you're not getting any tonight after that stunt!" They suddenly look mad, and she usually starts yelling "Hell no you aren't, you threw me at the monsters!"
5) One year I'm doing the autopsy room. Body parts everywhere, a basket of intestines hanging from the ceiling, blood everywhere, you know the normal stuff. One night early on I had missed dinner, so I raided the candy bowl and grabbed a bunch of those fun sized Snickers and hid them in the gut basket. Group comes in faster than I expected just in time to see me take the candy bar out of the basket and pop it in my mouth.
A woman screams "Oh my GOD HE'S EATING POOP!"
She swears she saw me squeeze a big old lump of poop out of one of those intestines (which can't be true, they were made out of expanding insulation foam and painted, they were all solid). After that I started working that into my routine. Made more than one person vomit that year...