No matter the workplace, it seems, drama abounds.
One man—committed to his years old locks—finds himself in a bind as an assistant manager endures chemo.
This guy is a 27-year-old gas station employee and he's at the end of his rope.
He reached out to Reddit for some advice in navigating the sensitive workplace moment.
AITA for not shaving my head alongside my coworkers in support of a coworker with cancer? : AmItheAsshole from AmItheAsshole
As he says in his post, he works in one of those gas station/Subway sandwich shop combinations. Between the gas station and the Subway, we're talking a staff of 18 people.
One staff member—the guy's assistant manager—has cancer and shaved her head when chemo began. Not uncommonly, employees decided to shave their own heads to express support and solidarity.
What is less common is that EVERYONE did it.
Everyone at work shaved their head except this one guy.
Now Randomname9991 is public enemy #1 at work. He's getting eye rolls, snide comments, passive-aggression, all of it.
Some Redditors weighed in on whether he's in the wrong and offered some real advice alongside the moral judgment.
"Instead maybe make a donation, or give blood, or volunteer. And if they bug you again, say 'I'm not shaving my head but instead I donated in honor of [name].' Donations go farther in cancer research than cutting one's hair, anyway." u/discombobubolated
"I'd even argue that shaving your head in solidarity is the laziest way to support someone with cancer. Give them a ride home from chemo or offer to cook/clean/etc for them some time." u/TwoSoxxx
"Cancer survivor here and my kid also has cancer. You don't need to shave your head to show support. I see so many videos of people shaving their hair off to raise 'awareness.' I'm pretty sure everyone is aware that cancer exists now."
"Someone mention blood donation which is way more needed for cancer patients or just needed in general." u/HappySam89
"This 'fully committed' crap is laughable - if they were so fully committed to supporting the co-worker, they'd pay all her bills so she didn't have to work while dealing with cancer." u/dischdunk
The comments pretty clearly hit on a debated issue: how can people be truly supportive in the fight against cancer?
6 ways to support loved ones and friends with cancer | Ilonka Meier | TEDxJIS youtu.be
Most of these Redditors, and plenty of other sources, agree that simply looking like the person enduring cancer only serves to pat oneself on the back.
Some have even called the gesture offensive, as it constantly reminds the person of their struggle.
When Life Throws You Cancer: The Patient is Still a Person youtu.be
Many advocate for small, direct favors that offer one's time or finances.
Things like doing the grocery shopping or accompanying the person to the park. Truly, shaving one's head only begins to be a pragmatic benefit if it's long enough to be donated for wig-making.
This usually means 8-14 inches, according to Cancer.net.
Surprisingly, plenty of the hair that doesn't make the cut for wigs ends up cleaning oil spills.
There's no telling if Randomname9991 ended up caving to pressure and shaving those flowing locks—which he regrettably didn't include a picture of—but it's clear he has plenty of options.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
​Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
​This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
​Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
​This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
​Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
​Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.​
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run