People Share The All-Time Funniest Examples Of Misheard Lyrics They've Ever Heard
It might be super easy to find the lyrics to a song now that we've all got the entirety of the internet in our pockets, but it didn't used to be so simple. Unless you owned the album, and it was one that actually came with the lyrics on the sleeve/in the case, you just kind of had to guess if the words were unclear.
This led to some extremely amusing, and sometimes mortifyingly embarrassing, misheard lyrics.
Redditor 23andrewb asked:
"What's the your favorite example of misheard lyrics?"
"Jimi Hendix Purple Haze: ''scuse me while I kiss this guy'"
"Roommate back in the day, who would have been about 18 in 1970, told me that Hendrix was aware of the alternate interpretation, and he would gesture at Noel Redding and say ''scuse me while I kiss this guy.'"
Bad Moon Rising
"CCR - bad mood rising 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
"That's what I thought as a kid. Still say it now because it's funny."
What A Wonderful World
"I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dogs say goodnight"
"I woke up my dog laughing at this one."
"Did the dog say good night?"
Why Is Everyone Singing About Lorain?
"I want to know, have you ever seen Lorain."
"I can see Clearly now, Lorain is gone!"
"And I wonder, still I wonder. Who'll stop Lorain."
"I can't stand Lorain, on my window..."
"As a child I used to sing 'I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone' and always wondered what poor Lorraine did that was so bad."
Gimme The Beach Boys
"Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll…"
"Wait that’s not the actual lyric?"
"Hahah. Nope! Beat Boys"
Moves Like Jagger
"'remove my jacket' Instead of 'moves like jagger' Boy I felt dumb."
"Moobs like Jagger."
"I’ve got the moose vagina! I got that moose vagina! I got that moOose vagina"
"I guess it rains down in Africa?"
"I’m still somewhat embarrassed to say that I thought it was 'god bless the maids down in Africa'. Thought it was some sort of weird political statement."
"I wept the drains down in aaafrica isn't right then?"
"I always heard it as 'I miss the rains down in Africa' and thought that sounded so lovely and melancholic. I was so disappointed by the real lyric lmao"
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
"Hit me with a wet sock, FIRE AWAY!!!!!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am i to disagree"
"Can't argue that!"
Applause ... or Applesauce?
"When I was 14 my dad was driving me to my boyfriends house. On the way over “Applause” by Lady Gaga came on & my dad sang 'I live for the applesauce applesauce applesauce.' I busted out laughing and mocking him."
"Laughed so hard he turned the car around and took me home."
"Regulate - Nate Dogg + Warren G. "I can't believe, they're taking Lawrence Welk".
"I used to hear this song and wonder 'Why is a smooth Gangsta like Warren G listening to Lawrence Welk, and why are these thugs stealing his Lawrence Welk records specifically?'"
"Then someone corrected me. 'They're taking Warren's wealth.'"
Here I Go Again
"Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. Lyric: 'Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne'"
"My favorite misheard lyric is 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza' instead of 'Hold me closer, tiny dancer' by Elton John."
"Count the head lice on the highway."
Reelin' In The Years
"Steely Dan, instead of 'Are you reelin' in the years?', got 'Are you really into yeast?'"
"I always heard 'reelin' in the East' but like your version better, lol"
You Oughta Know
"'It's not fair, to deny me Of the crosseyed bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know' -Alanis Morissette"
"How could you take her crosseyed bear Dave Coulier"
Have you ever embarrassingly misheard the lyrics to a song? How long did it take for you to realize, or for someone to correct you? Let us know in the comments.
Traveling the world can be a highly enlightening experience.
It opens us up to various cultures and customs that can only expand our wisdom of the capabilities of what people can achieve while also reminding us that we are all the same.
And while there are common practices that are shared by different nations, there are some things that Americans seem to excel at more than in other countries.
Curious to hear exmples of these, Redditor Tannerman1 asked:
"What does America do better than most countries?"
North America provides everything in abundance.
"Turning corn into things that are not corn."
"When you have this much corn, what else do you do with it?"
"Being from Illinois please do something with all this corn."
"I think the stat is something like the US has half of all the large carriers in the world right now. I do know in WW2 by the end of 1944 or 45 they had more escort carriers in service than most countries had naval ships commissioned in the country's entire history."
The Great Outdoors
"National parks, we also have amazing state parks and local parks."
"Before anyone starts no you having woods too isn't the same thing."
"I’m not sure the very idea of a National Park would be a thing if not for ol Teddy Roosevelt, and the United States making them the thing they are."
Americans are very social people that have no qualms reaching out to a stranger.
Sometimes, that's a real good thing.
"Chatting, I’m from a European country where most people will avoid talking to stranger. But you can literally talk to anyone you met in the street in the US and most of them are willing to talk."
Forming A Bond
"People in many parts of the US do talk. I’m from the US and I’m kind of introvert, but I’ve actually have grown to love it as I’ve gotten older. I’m a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood and I f'king love going to the grocery store. We have this awesome little actual grocery store and everyone talks to me. It’s basically the friendliest place I’ve ever been."
"There’s an old dude who just starts spouting off with trivia questions to anyone who will listen. I responded with the answer to one and he was like, “How the f'k did you know the answer to that?'”
“I’m a biologist.”
"He and I are basically best friends now."
Three Guys Walk Into A Bar...
"I have had this experience. The only people who would talk in pubs in London were an Irishman, a Lebanese fellow, and the Nepalese bartender. There’s a joke in there somewhere. They were super cool cats, too. Oh, and the guy I chatted with in a bar in Paris, also Lebanese. None of the locals would speak more than a few words."
"Americans? We’ll talk half an hour to a wrong number."
"Side note: Does anybody know if everyone in Lebanon actually knows everybody else? It has now happened twice that I’ve met people on different continents who knew each other’s siblings."
The Germany Connection
"I met a chatty lady in Germany once and when I told her she was a friendliest person I’d met in Germany she said very quickly: 'Oh, I’m not from here, I’m from Sweden.' Then we both laughed loudly and got the side eye from the Germans."
When it comes to certain American activities, it's no contest.
Just To Be Frank
"Hot dog eating contests"
"I was going to say that the champion of the Nathan’s Famous contest is Japanese, but I looked it up & Joey Chestnut is the current reigning champion."
Americans Are Globally Recognized Due To...
"Dominate media and pop culture around the world. Nobody else comes close to the US in this regard."
"I haven't been in a lot of countries, but from my limited experience, it's the Americans With Disabilities Act."
"I have a lot of complaints about it, but I can still say that using public transportation doesn't require me to walk down or up 40 steps, with the alternative being walking . 3 miles to find an elevator that can fit one person at a time and moves so slowly it's barely usable."
What You Didn't Know
"Ironically enough science. The US has more Nobel Prize winners of all other countries combined. And here's the key thing: many of those researchers were immigrants, or at least didn't have family going back to the Mayflower."
"Also this will really sound ironic: tolerance for other cultures. The US is among the most diverse nations in the world. The most iconic American cultural icons are ultimately a mix of local and international traditions. Asiatic countries are super duper racists, but we call them 'xenophobic.'"
"Agriculture. The US is a behemoth when it comes to agriculture and agriscience. The biggest issues is cultivating for logistics instead of taste. Those yield however come with technologies other nations find repugnant and so ban American imports to protect domestic agriculture."
"Charity. Americans as a whole donate more to charities than any other nation, and on a per capita basis as well. Most Americans probably see ads or donation boxes on a daily basis."
I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing but American establishments can dish out sizable portions of food for what dining patrons pay for.
Some entrees at restaurants are enough for sharing and ordering one main plate can be an economical option to allow room for a variety of other dishes–including dessert–without breaking the bank.
Go big, or go home, right?
The Best Responses If A Christian Claims 'You're Going To Hell' For Not Conforming With Their Beliefs
In spite of the separation of church and state and the fact that anyone should be able to freely practice any religion they choose, an ever-increasing number of far-right conservatives have used their Christian beliefs to espouse hatred and bigotry.
An all too common attack they utilize is telling someone who disagrees with them that they're "going to Hell."
Unfortunately, this prediction rarely leads people to quake in their boots as was intended.
And instead, they're the ones who often find themselves at a loss for words when the people they verbally attack have a comeback line all prepared.
"What's the best response to a Christian saying 'you're going to hell'?"
How Else Would They Know?
"'See you later!'"
"A skater boi dropped this one on holy rollers in college, the rest of us thought it was absolutely brilliant."- Ishidan01
"See you there then."- CuddleDemon04
He's Always Listening...
"It makes Jesus sad when you say that"- OperationBackground2
Can I You Show Me On A Map?
"Act like you’ve never heard of it—concede none of the authority or credibility they are used to having."
"'What do you mean, after I die—how can I go somewhere after I die, I’ll be dead?'"
"'Do you see these souls often, friend, is one in the room right now?'"- RidesThe7
Some People Have Heard Worse...
"Shrug, say 'Ok' , and walk away."
"You not caring riles them up even more."- ExRetribution
I See It Differently
"Yeah, well, that's just like, your opinion man."- EnvironmentalPack451Animation Disagree GIF by Moving Picture ShowGiphy
When Was The Last Time You Actually Read A Bible?
"Judge not, that you be not judged."
"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you."
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"
"Matthew 7, 1-3."- Aas-im-Aermel
“'Live a good life'."
"'If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by'."
"'If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them'."
"'If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones'.― Marcus Aurelius."- Trygolds
"I thought God is the only judge of our soul?"
"Who are you to take his place?"
"It's better to attack them using their own teachings and beliefs that contradict their statement."- ZaiJianDadaBible GIF by GlorifyAppGiphy
Tell Me Something I Don't Know...
"Aren't we all already here?"- YaMa-Ma
When The High Road Doesn't Seem To work...
"The Australian thing to say is "Get f*cked c*nt!"- IllTruck3645·
Give Them A Taste Of Their Own Medicine
"According to your God, so are you for doing his job and judging."- RedditEpisode 5 Burn In Hell GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Stare at them blankly and don't hide your confusion."
"Don't say anything."
"Let them talk."
"They will keep talking, and the more they talk, the more uncomfortable they will make themselves."
"If they ask you any direct questions, don't answer them, just keep looking more and more puzzled."
"At the very most, shrug in total confusion."
"Do your best quizzical dog impression."
"They will give up and walk away, and regardless of how they try to seem outwardly, they will feel defeated, and question whether being an enormous a**hole is worth it."
"It may not last once they get back into their bubble of people who think that's a great way to act, but realistically, it's the only way to fight back."
"The minute you engage with them at all, you lose."
"Any comeback feeds into the victim complex inherently baked into Christianity."
"The only winning move is not to play."- PowermanFriendshipWill Ferrell Blank Stare GIFGiphy
It can be very easy to judge others.
But one can't help but stifle their laughter at those who judge others for not being as devoutly Christian as they are.
As they are all but literally going against the beliefs they are supposedly practicing.
Life is chuck full of annoyances.
Every day, in every way there is something or someone ready to set the rest of us off.
This is why we need meds, therapy, and chamomile tea.
When the simplest things can send you into a blind rage, you need a little relaxer.
But what is it about these small things that can cause such a stir?
I mean the world hasn't ended, but it feels like it.
Redditor ItzFlexyBoi wanted to discuss all of the things that drive us crazy, so they asked:
"What is a mildly inconvenient thing that annoys the hell out of you?"
I can't stand when business hours differ in person than what is listed online.
How does that happen?!
Get UP!Dropping Michael Scott GIF by Prime Video UKGiphy
"When I drop something small onto the floor and have to pick it up. I've completely turned into my father. I usually roll my eyes, sigh as I bend down to pick it up, and then growl angrily when it takes a couple of tries to actually pick it up."
I'm NOT Done!!
"When a motion sensor sink turns off before I’m done with it."
"When I was little I hated the concept of taking a crap in the supermarket because I did one time and the automatic toilet flushed twice while sitting on it. Don’t get me wrong, automatic toilets are a great concept, reduce germ spread through touching a handle and whatnot, and they suck in execution."
"Update: used an auto toilet at a highway rest stop and it flushed while I was peeing in it. Damn."
"Getting wired earphones caught on a handle and having them ripped out of your head. I instantly rage."
"This used to happen to my husband in our old house, mainly with pockets of pants. I never really understood how maddening this could be since I'm shorter and it didn't happen to me."
"We moved and now in our new place, this happens to me because the handles are at my pockets' height instead of his. I suddenly understand his past frustration at this small thing!"
Where is the HELP?
"Please remove the item from the basket, please add the item to the basket, and please wait for assistance."
"What they do now also is there will be different bays with about 6 self-checkouts per bay. Instead of having one employee watching each bay checking IDs, helping out, etc, they will have one employee watching 20+ self-check-out machines frantically running from one person needing help to another."
TricklesWater Se Laver GIF by Benjamin SiksouGiphy
"Washing your face in the bathroom sink and the water trickling down your arms towards your elbows."
Seriously. Why does water want to splash all over us, all of the time?
NOOOOO!!!!!Angry Rooster Teeth GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy
"Charging your phone and sleeping then find out that it wasn’t charging overnight and it’s about to die."
"Having to wait 3 extra seconds for YouTube ads every time I want to watch a 30-second video."
"My biggest pet peeve is getting the same ads over and over again. Sometimes I have to close my eyes and mute the audio/look away because after seeing the same ad 100 times it feels like a torture technique out of a CIA manual."
"Even worse when it’s two 15-second unskippable ads."
1 ITEM Issues!
"Leaving something in the other room and remembering I need it after I sit down."
"Sitting down and your drink/remote/phone etc... is just slightly out of reach so you have to stand up again."
"I do that with the grocery store. Driving home when I remember 1 item that I went for and forgot."
"My husband can NEVER tell me everything he needs from downstairs at once. So I end up making 4 trips."
"Getting in the wrong (slowest) checkout line."
"I ALWAYS get in the line where someone wants to pay in change, needs to cash a check, or doesn’t know how to use a card reader. Every. Time."
"Nothing like stopping at a gas station on your way to work only to get stuck behind the guy who's buying 75 lottery tickets."
"Or switching lanes and you end up in one that's even slower."
"Slow walkers and people who stop walking in the middle of a crowded area and don't move despite people being behind them. Head to a wall or seat and check your phone there, don't just stop walking in the middle of a crowd. FFS."
Library Volume Please
"People who listen to things in public areas without headphones. PLEASE I do not want to hear whatever crappy TikTok you're watching."
"My partner does this ALL THE TIME!!! We could be watching something together and she'll pull out her phone and start watching TikTok."
"And she doesn't seem to think it's rude. One time she did that and I paused what we were watching and said 'I didn't wanna interrupt.' Another time I changed it altogether since she wasn't interested."
"But if I glance at my phone once I'm 'on my phone a lot.'"
I approve of every item on this list.
But like I said, I'm easily annoyed.
People Break Down The Stupidest Conspiracy Theories They've Ever Heard
Even if you weren't alive, chances are, you know about Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin being the first two people to ever walk on the moon. In fact, you may know someone who was alive when it happened and watched it on TV.
The fact is, an estimated 530 million people watched the moon landing on TV, and yet, some people still think its fake.
There is a conspiracy theory out there that says we faked the moon landing to convince the Russians that the United States had won the space race! It's crazy, strange, and most of all, stupid. The proof is in the pudding (or in the American flag Armstrong planted on the moon).
Redditors know of lots of stupid conspiracy theories, and they are only too eager to share!
It all started when Redditor willywonkerbonker asked:
"What is the stupidest conspiracy theory?"
Flat, Flatter, Flattest
"That the earth is flat"
"Edit: I have come to the conclusion that the earth is in fact the shape of a doughnut."
"Second edit: I have come to my second conclusion to the fact that mars is indeed a chocolate bar"
"Microchip in vaccines. If the government wanted to spy on you, they could do it a thousand times easier by tapping your phone."
"Anybody with a smart phone voluntarily agreed to be tracked and followed 24/7 the moment they turned it on haha"
"lol people are so silly.."
It's A Bird, It's A Plane!
"That planes can't actually fly because the claimed weight of fuel cannot fit into the size of the tanks and even if it did, it would make the plane too heavy to fly."
"If planes aren't flying... How do people fly in planes and get out the other side....."
They've Already Won
"I'm from the UK and the theories about this alarm system the government are putting on the phones is wild."
"“They’re doing it to control us!!!” They’re the government. They govern you. They are the law makers. They already control you. They don’t need to make a big conspiracy to do that."
"That Australia does not exist"
"They say that everyone in Australia are payed actors. If that’s true then where is my bloody check?!"
"Still waiting on mine"
My Cat, My Choice
"A former friend and mentor called me up one day and said that she read somewhere that pets in America consume more meat than the entire country of France. And since raising livestock is bad for the environment, the article said liberals want all pets destroyed. That's why she lives in a red state and has so many guns, to protect her cats from the liberals. I asked her to send me that article but she never did."
"Pretty sure pets are loved by liberals and conservatives alike lol. At least, all the ppl I know in both sides have at least a goldfish."
"That Avril Lavigne was replaced with a look alike, as if aging and plastic surgery aren’t things."
"This has been going on since Paul McCartney was accused of being cloned. Look up the Paul Is Dead theory"
"After that it was Eminem"
"Soon will probably be Justin Beiber or Kid Laroi or something."
"The idea that "walkable cities" is some NWO/WEF plot to "control" people and keep them confined to small areas."
"Walkable cities is how most cities, and even many suburbs and small towns, used to be. My mother grew up in South Boston in the 60s and 70s, and she points out how she had almost everything her family needed within a 5-10 walk of her house: grocery stores, delis, banks, pharmacies, corner stores, schools (two on her block and one across the street), liquor store, boutique, shoe store, toy store, post office, candy and ice cream, barbers and hairstylists, playgrounds and parks, bars and restaurants, repair shop, hardware store, a family doctor, a dentist, laundromat, coffee and donuts, and pizza."
"More was reachable by bike, the rest of Boston by public transportation, and her father and friends had cars to go elsewhere...they just didn't need to use their cars to go everywhere, because the basics were readily accessible to them. But sure, being wholly reliant on cars and having to shell over tens of thousands of dollars to auto makers and oil CEOs to spend time idling in traffic just for the basic necessities and daily services of life, that's Freedom™."
"I lived for a year in the city centre of Munich, I had every type of shop and restaurant within walking distance, everything else was connected by a super cheap and reliable tram, bus and subway system. Parking was a premium and people with cars tended to only really use them to go out to the countryside or if they worked in a space outside the city slightly too far from a train station."
"It was expensive but nowhere near London levels for example. And not needing a car frees up a lot of income."
Gone But Not Forgotten
"All the “dead celebrity is secretly alive” crap."
"2Pac and Biggie were both peppered with bullets with multiple witnesses and you think they faked it?"
"Michael Jackson, the biggest singles artist in modern music and arguably the most famous person alive at the time, is still going somewhere and left his family in mourning?"
"Don’t even get me started on the Elvis gang…"
"Thinking that "global warming" was just invented to raise taxes, or whatever. It is so massively stupid to think that all governments and serious scientists, scientific institutions, etc - worldwide - is in on some conspiracy, to what.. raise your taxes? They could do that anyway..."
"The flat earth, no moon landings, etc - that's all for people who simply aren't all that bright to begin with - but the fake global warming conspiracy is widely believed, and accepted in mainstream politics even. Doesn't get much more stupid than that."
"I love how global warming deniers think that climate scientists are all swimming in piles of research grant money like Scrooge McDuck, but fossil fuel CEOs are honest, salt-of-the-earth people whose only passion in life is making sure people have jobs."
We Are Needed
"That vaccines are an intentional plot to kill people. This isn't a Marvel movie. We don't need to get rid of large segments of the population. The 1% need us alive, buying things, and providing the services they depend on, like cheeseburgers and trash removal and truck driving."
All Aboout Lizards
"The “meteor” that hit earth was actually a spaceship that the dinosaurs left on so they could avoid the ice age. They sent back lizard people to purposely control industries and warm up the earth back to the dinosaur’s ideal temperature. The lizard people are purposely trying to invoke nuclear wars to clear the landscape again for dinosaurs."
Uh...Where Did This One Even Come From?
"Birds aren’t real. The US government systematically eradicated and replaced all birds with surveillance drones in the FIFTIES."
People don't actually believe that...do they?