wHOA.[rebelmouse-image 18349981 is_animated_gif=
Home owners' associations (HOAs) are organizations created by real estate developers "for the purpose of developing and managing a community of homes, town homes and/or condominium units," meaning that your home is subject to a neighborhood's vote at any time. It makes the community easier to manage for the developer, but sometimes it really leeches on its members.
weeping_pegasus asked Reddit:
Here are some of the horror stories.
Bullying[rebelmouse-image 18349982 is_animated_gif=
My Dad owned a house in an HOA about 15 years ago. Overall it was nothing noteworthy, until the vice president moved and sold her home. HOA required all front yards to have one tree, hers didn't the entire time she lived there. Sold the house and the new owner was fined for not having the required tree. She was a single mom who had just gotten divorced so it's not like she had money for a full grown tree. When my dad moved he said that killed HOAs for him.
Precluded[rebelmouse-image 18349983 is_animated_gif=
A friend of mine lived in an HOA neighborhood, but because this house had been in the family for generations, before the neighborhood was even there really, they weren't part of the HOA, they never had to join. The HOA only formed a few years ago, but apparently didn't realize that my friend, let's call him bob, hadn't even been told about the HOA. Bob is single and travels a lot, but he comes home one day to find a total of $13,000 in fines for his house being the wrong color, his deck being unapproved, and a bunch of other bs. So Bob outright refuses to even acknowledge the fines, just has the post office return to sender. A few months later he comes home to see that his deck has been demolished and his house repainted. Apparently the HOA had granted itself the right to correct any violations of exterior appearance upon failure to pay the relevant fines. Unlucky for the HOA, Bob happens to be a former lawyer, he quit the practice a few years prior to help the family business, but Bob still knows how to lawyer. Bob sues the HOA, and the HOA smugly thinks it's a clear cut case in their favor. Bob only had to say a few words in his statement, most of which was "I'm not f*cking part of the HOA!" The HOA ended up admiring liability and had to pay a bunch of fees, and ended up disbanding.
Warning[rebelmouse-image 18346556 is_animated_gif=
My house flooded 2 months after I bought it. HOA got involved and blamed my kids putting toys down the toilet (they are too old for that). I spoke to neighbors, found out 5 houses in a row had flooded.
We all got together and demanded an investigation by an independent plumber. Long story short, our HOA owns the sewage and water lines under all the houses that connect to city water. They had not been repaired for years or flushed out, and were made of a material that eroded underground, it backflowed raw sewage into the 5 houses affected and flooded the grassy areas with sewage also.
All my neighbors are senior citizens. The HOA admitted responsibility and held an emergency meeting to repair damage. My house was done last and I agreed with that because the other ladies are 70+ and wheelchair bound or disabled, I'm under 40.
By time my house was done, the sewage had been wiped up from tile floor and treated with fungal chemicals, but mold was growing in master shower and carpet was destroyed. They had to replace brand new carpet in bedrooms, drywall, paint new drywall a color I chose, and re-tile my whole shower. When old shower tile was torn out, plumbing wasn't to code, so that was done too. They spent about $15k on my house alone. I also told the HOA never to accuse my kids again.
Garbage[rebelmouse-image 18349984 is_animated_gif=
Day we moved in we got a 40 dollar fine for leaving trash cans in plain sight.
Bothering The Cops[rebelmouse-image 18349985 is_animated_gif=
My grandfather lived in a small community of one-story townhouses. There was a lady that we called the 'traffic Nazi'. There was literally one street that ran a block down the community and she was outside every time that we came to visit grandpa. She would run you down, yell at you and threaten to call the cops if you went one mile over the speed limit. Walked around everyday trying to find little infractions to fine everyone with. Never saw her have visitors, probably just a coincidence.
For real though, she was SUPER impressive at judging your speed. 21mph? You're getting yelled at. 20mph? You're getting a sneer, but no yelling. 15mph or less? Wouldn't call it a smile, but the nicest expression I ever saw her make. 25mph? Calling the cops which would have to come out, but couldn't give a ticket because there's no proof.
Tree Control[rebelmouse-image 18349986 is_animated_gif=
I had a tiny tree in my yard that was showing signs of dying (hard to get stuff growing here in the Vegas heat..especially if you don't water it lol). HOA told me to pull up the dead tree or I would be fined. It was so flimsy I was able to cut it down with a handsaw. Got rid of the tree and the HOA sends me a letter to replace it or I would be fined??!! It was my decision to plant a tree there in the first place. How are they going to force me to keep a tree there now??
Continuous Damage[rebelmouse-image 18349988 is_animated_gif=
Not a homeowner but work for a company that manages them.
Apparently, in southern states that is not mine, trees are valuable. Okay, sure, I get it. However, one homeowner claims that two trees and their roots in her front yard (each lot has two trees) are growing into her plumbing pipes and breaking them. She has spent like thousands of dollars fixing her foundation alone.
I acquired the Association during the process. Both of us came to an agreement that she could remove the trees and just plant them somewhere else. They would still be in the front yard but just not on some water lines.
I let the Association know. It was reasonable and I had been through this with dozens of Associations before. Your property is more important than some aesthetics.
The Association straight up told me no. She can remove one tree but she has to pay to replant (that's actually really typical) but she will not remove the other one. I tried to explain this woman cannot keep fixing her pipes but they straight told me that moving into the place meant she accepted the plumbing issues.
That is not disclosed anywhere in any resale certificate or documents. I never heard of such a demand.
I had to call her back and tell her what the Association said. She's definitely gonna sue and it baffles me that there's no reason for it.
There's bad HOAs and then there's some with no common sense.
Sole Proprietor[rebelmouse-image 18349989 is_animated_gif=
My long time neighbors were the first to move into the neighborhood where we live some 30-40 years ago. Their home was the first finished and sold. They had 8 kids at the time. The husband was out putting up an old school cable antenna on the chimney. While on his roof a man (the developer) came up and said, "Hey! you can't put that up there, it's against the homeowners rules!" He looked down at him confused and said "Are there any other members of the homeowners association?" "Well no.." " Then I hereby disband the association. The vote passes unanimously. Now get off my lawn." Saved us all a lot of trouble.
Swindled[rebelmouse-image 18349990 is_animated_gif=
I'm in one that the was never turned over to the home owners. The declarant has elected his family as board members. Since he has a large number of lots that are not occupied, he maintains voting control.
We have never received a copy of the books (which is illegal). Our HOA fees are considerably higher than other HOAs in the area. We have no reasonable explanation where the money is going. My guess is that it's being embezzled.
My state has no oversight of HOAs - so this cluster continues with little recourse for the homeowners.
Pati-NO[rebelmouse-image 18349991 is_animated_gif=
My parents bought a house in a now HOA neighborhood but they were one of the first residents in the neighborhood. When they first moved in there were no other houses around them. Now it is a full neighborhood. My dad built a really nice patio out back with a pergola a few summers ago and a week later one of the neighbors came over, whom my dad had never met, and told him that it violated the HOA. My dad basically told him to go pound sand. My dad is a carpenter and the patio/pergola looks great, not trashy or makeshift in any way. The neighbor was just being a nosy HOA d--che bag with nothing better to do. Nothing more came of it either. No fines, no letters, nothing.
No Real Reason[rebelmouse-image 18349992 is_animated_gif=
HOA president/vice president ( husband and wife) knowingly violated the rule of voting approval and and allowed someone to build a huge house on a tiny lot. The guy building the house show them a picture of a cute cape - get's approval without a vote - then put up something completely different. When called out on it their excuse was - "we're sick and no longer want to do it and nobody cares about voting"
The Queen[rebelmouse-image 18349993 is_animated_gif=
We don't have HOAs in the small towns here, but we do have one woman who made a Facebook page of "people of the town" and has apparently appointed herself as Queen. She'll walk around town and then make passive aggressive posts towards anything she doesn't like.
She has started a battle with her neighbor across the street. The neighbor owns my grandma's old house so I'm on fairly friendly terms with her. So N (for neighbor) owns a house with two extra lots next to it and she also has two dogs. Now sometimes some poo will get missed in the pickup process, it's a very large area, and Queen decides to tell N, multiple times, that she needs to keep it perfectly clean AT ALL TIMES because Queens kids like to play in that yard. Out of pure principal N is now purposely leaving a few (not enough to look bad or smell) poo piles around the empty part of her yard.
I have many many stories about the crazy queen lady so I am for sure on Neighbors side.
Sneaky Replacement[rebelmouse-image 18348612 is_animated_gif=
Not an HOA but a National Registry Historic District which is like HOA on steroids.
Our house was built in 1880's and had original windows on the second floor. We wanted to replace them so that our house could be more energy efficient ($700 heating bills in winter). We learned that you cannot replace with modern windows but with ones that are period specific. In our case that meant single pane, wood only. The windows were not standard size and each one was slight different in measurements so that would be even more expense. And in order to do all of that you had to get approval through a design review which involved meetings and architect plans. Nope.
A year later a door to our shed was busted open and instead of just buying a door at Home Depot the design review panel wanted to go through the whole process (6+ weeks). Nope. We hired a friend to replace it at night with a store bought door and paint it so it matched the last one.
Selfish Dog Owner[rebelmouse-image 18349994 is_animated_gif=
This is my uncle:
There's a broken board in the fence in his backyard. On the other side is a vicious dog that presents a major threat to my uncle's 2 yo kid.
The problem is that the fence technically belongs to the neighbor, not him, so he can't fix it in order to keep the dog from coming through. The neighbor refuses to fix it. He's not allowed to build a second layer of fencing or anything like that because of the HOA.
I recommended: * a log pile to put in front of it * a fake log pile * a gun. Just in case. It's his child over a dumb dog.
I don't know if the situation is solved yet.
Micro-Managing[rebelmouse-image 18349995 is_animated_gif=
I moved into a condo with an HOA about six months ago, and just had my first real encounter with the HOA. They mailed me a letter warning me that I needed to remove my lawn chair from my balcony because it was partially folded up. Apparently this meant I was using the balcony as a storage space which is not allowed. I guess it's correct, I was storing the chair I planned to use on the balcony when the weather got better... on the balcony. It was folded to keep the seat from getting dirty in the meantime.
Bloodthirsty[rebelmouse-image 18348500 is_animated_gif=
I own a condominium, apartment style individually owned units for those that aren't familiar. I could regale you with so much craziness. The HOA itself is terrible, but even worse seems to be the management companies they hire. I'll recount my first interaction with them.
I first became engaged when they slapped us with a $10,000 special assessment fee soon after I moved in. Went to the meeting and it seriously felt like I was on Jerry Springer. To this day I'm still unclear on what are facts vs speculations, but at least some of it was very much real. The night before this meeting, some angry neighbor types had brought in the cops and a news organization to publicly arrest and shame the building manager and assistant (staff members for the management company hired by the board) over a large chunk of missing money. Now the manager seemed like she was maybe into some ***, but this poor assistant was a woman in her 60s that had always been very kind and helpful to me and didn't directly even do the budgets. She teared up afterwards telling me how it was the worst experience of her life, being strip searched and treated like a degenerate in jail. She quickly quit and moved to a new city.
Back to that night, there is a faction of homeowners out for even more blood. Reveling in the arrests and convinced that not just both the staff, but the board members themselves must be prosecuted as well. The claims made were mainly that the management company had been making unsavory deals with contractors, leading to overcharging for work that was often inadequate. The building was out of money and out of code. The books weren't kept well. Money was certainly mishandled, but the extent of the malice was unclear. In addition, some strange events happened such as a homeowner having new appliances swapped with old appliances immediately after purchase. Aka his property was stolen and something of lesser value put in its place. But this whole meeting was a crazy, off the walls screaming match full of many other accusations and personal attacks. The board, clearly overwhelmed about the whole situation, didn't have the adequate evidence to prove their innocence and they had to play the unfortunate role of being the bridge between the management company and the homeowners. I don't personally think they were in on it, but some did. They were accused of getting kick backs and personal favors, with one member having claims made against her that she wasn't having to pay for her parking spot. She spoke up, at this point very distressed, about how not only yes is she paying for her spot and has multiple times shown the accusers evidence of that, but that these nosy "do-gooder" aholes were verbally harassing her every chance they got. She shared stories of the awful things people said to her and broke down in front of everyone about not feeling safe or welcome in her own home, all while actively trying to fix it through her role on the board. In the end, the building manager's whole family was tied to sketchy themes and the charges stuck. Unfortunately, we were left footing the bill of getting our building into shape.
Ignored[rebelmouse-image 18349996 is_animated_gif=
At our old neighborhood, there was a section of the road that made a 90 degree turn, went straight for 3 houses, then made another 90 degree turn. As you can imagine, it was quite dangerous if you were going above the speed limit.
One day, a stupid 16 year old went 40 when she should have been going at a 20, and ended up flipping her car at that spot. Her keys were promptly taken away from her.
A couple years after my family moved out, we heard through the grapevine that a woman had started advocating for speed bumps, as our neighborhood had a lot of kids. She used the above event as evidence. As it turned out, the head of the HOA was this girl's mom. Speed Bump Woman was told "Oh, we don't talk about that here," when she brought it up.
Don't know what happened after that. At least the HOA in our current neighborhood consists of a bunch of old people who could care less what goes on.
Boat Business[rebelmouse-image 18348797 is_animated_gif=
When I was still living with my mom, I bought a boat. I always kept it at my dad's unless I was going to take it out the next day. Well one day I left it in the over flow parking and came out to a note saying I could not park it there. So my mom did some digging and found out that I could. It just couldn't stay for more then 72hrs. Which it never did. So we printed the part of the HOA rules that states that on pink paper and put it on my boat. As we are putting said paper on the boat one of the HOA people walked by and mentioned that it could not be parked there. Well needless to say we proved her wrong right then and there. Was so glad when we moved out of there.
Raw Sewage[rebelmouse-image 18349997 is_animated_gif=
My old townhouse I rented was in historical Old Town Alexandria, so any repairs to places like that was tricky b/c many of the homes there are historical or some sh-t. HOAs are b-tchier than usual.
Raw sewage backed up in the bottom floor bathroom and flooded the hallway and one bedroom. It didn't come out of the toilet, it came out of a drain in the floor of the laundry room. He thought it was just dirty water until we saw actual s***.
HOA tried to blame me and my roommates. Turned out tree roots had grown into the ancient sewer line and when a very heavy rain storm soaked the ground that weekend...well sh-t piled up, literally. HOA was irate when they found out this was something they had to pay for.
When it came time for us renew our rental agreement with the townhouse owner, who lived out of state, the HOA has kicked up such a fuss, mis-representing how it happened and basically causing such a stink trying to act like the damage was our fault, the owner wouldn't renew our lease even though we'd been renting from her for years. We were the one who had to coordinate with the plumbers and contracts fixing the townhouse, we did all the work to get the townhouse back in shape and sterilized b/c the owner couldn't.
B-tches on the HOA's say-so with 3 weeks notice and it's hard as f-ck to find housing in that area, especially on short notice. So I just moved away entirely b/c by that point I loathed the DC area and everything in it.
No Work[rebelmouse-image 18349998 is_animated_gif=
I live in a huuuge association (1 mile by half a mile, thousands of houses and apartments) and generally things are great, but after Hurricane Irma f-cked up all our sh-t the association turned a field near my house into a holding area for storm debris. It soon became a dump. Local contractors/handymen found out and we had mattresses, barbecues, bicycles, toilets, and everything else you'd normally take to the faraway dump if you didn't have one suddenly 20 miles closer and free - you just had to do it at night when the security guards were patrolling elsewhere.
99% of the garbage is now gone and security is posted there 24/7, but the field is still bare and full of things too small to clean easily - broken glass, nails from all the fences that were there, etc.
I'm still pissed and the association still has its' head up its' -ss about what it's going to do.
- Homeowners Break Down The One Mildly Infuriating Thing About Their House - George Takei ›
- Frustrated People Share Their Neighbor Horror Stories - George Takei ›
- People Share Major Red Flags That You're In A Bad Neighborhood - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What They Think Would Consist Of The American Nightmare Instead Of The American Dream - George Takei ›
As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sobbed in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.
The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.
Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.
Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.
Reddit user itchellFamily1045 asked:
"Which show do you think you're the only person who remembers it exists?"
It was David the Gnome for me (which I found out originated in Spain and was much more popular in France than it was in the US. Apparently, I was a Euro-trash hipster as a child), but let's take a look at what got Reddit.
Classic Wheel Of Fortunewheel through the years GIF by Wheel of FortuneGiphy
"It's funny how nobody seems to remember the early seasons of Wheel of Fortune with host Chuck Woolery. You didn't win any cash. You had to choose prizes from a selection of things set up in a room-like fashion."
"They still had the prize room with sajak for a while I believe. Camera would just pan across the room and the winner would try not to pick the stupidest things. Cause the items all had fn price tags on em and you'd only have the $ amount you won. Infuriating"
"A broyhill coffee table!!"
"Always ending up with the porcelain dog statue cause it was all you had left after buying expensive items."
"I still think about the episode where everyone who stayed young, slept in Tupperware, and when their lids got taken off, aged overnight."
"One of my favorite moments on the show had Marshall and Simon hanging out in Simon's room, one night. Through the walls you can hear a man and a woman laughing lecherously."
"Marshall: 'It sounds like your mom and dad are having a party'."
"Simon: 'Mom's not home'."
"It was a great weird kids' show, but some of the gags they managed to sneak in were hilarious."
"I work w a dude whose daughter was on that show, We were just randomly chatting and he was telling me how she had done some modelling/acting when she was little"
" 'you probably dont know the show but...'."
" 'like hell i dont that show was great'."
"Early edition- get tomorrow's newspaper today"
"I loved that show! What a concept!"
"Omg omg omg"
"Quality 90s tv, right there. A warm-fuzzy show."
Herman's Headtalking marge simpson GIFGiphy
"Anyone remember Herman’s Head?"
"It had the woman that does the voice for Lisa Simpson and the woman that went on to play Ross' exwife on friends was one of the characters in his head."
" It has 2 Simpsons voice actors- Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria. I seem to remember that they were offered the roles- and maybe the whole show existed? - because they didn’t want to be ‘just’ VA’s, and FOX wanted to placate them."
"That’s a real show?? They reference it on 'only murders in the building'.”
"I came for this one too!"
The Garry Shandling Show
"The Gary Shandling Show. No, not the Larry Sanders Show - Gary Shandling Show. Even the theme song breaks the fourth wall."
"This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle, then we'll watch It's Gary Shandling's Show."
"Yeah, Garry Shandling and Tracey Ullman are pretty much tied up in my memory."
"Best theme song EVER!"
"My partner LOVES the theme to that show! Plays it in the background every now and then, it's a riot!"
"Mid-2000s show on Fox that was apparently too weird even for Fox. I think they canceled it halfway through the 1st season."
"I have the DVD. Excellent show that I still toss in every once in a while."
"The producers had planned out some storylines all the way to S3. The S2 cliffhanger was supposed to be Jaye being sent to the mental hospital where she had helped put away some guest stars, including the woman who tried to kill the therapist with gift store items, and the boy who bought the russian mail order bride."
"Bryan Fuller's early work."
Mary Hartman Square
"Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
"I remember watching this with my dad and my sister after the 11:00 pm news. I was in like 6th grade. That's what happens when there's no mom around. 😂"
"Her husband fell into a vat of paint thinner at work, and he needed to have plastic surgery over every inch of his body, so he requested to look like Tab Hunter."
"I thought her husband drowned in a bowl of soup. Maybe her first husband? That show was trippy af"
"Her neighbor's husband. The clip is on YouTube."
"Spin off of a spin off or Mary Tyler Moore as I recall, right? Wasn't Rhonda the first spinoff?"
"Not a spin-off. Mary Hartman was a very bizarre show for its time, a parody of a soap opera. Louise Lasser played Mary, and she was this weirdly detached character surrounded by crazy drama and violence. I think it might have been the first place I saw Martin Mull."
"Terranova, ran for like a single season then disappeared"
"I loved that show! So annoying they didn’t get a second season."
"I was a young kid when it aired on TV so i dont remember much of it, but I recall it being a recurring topic with my mom every now and then"
"oh god I’m old. I thought it was only a few years ago. I just looked it up and it was 11. Excuse me while I go get an AARP application."
"It’s that old?! Holy sh*t, grab me an application too, please. It seriously felt like just a couple of years ago."
"Karen Valentine was probably the cutest girl ever on a tv show. I used to love when she would be on the original Hollywood Squares."
"She was the only reason anyone watched that show."
"I loved that show! My mom, my sisters and I would watch that show every Friday night. The cast was really good — Karen Valentine was a really cute and bubbly teacher, and Michael Constantine was great as the high school principal"
"Yes! I swear this was the first one I thought of! And Under the Umbrella Tree!"
"If you have the Paramount streaming app, it's on there!"
"Spicy, salty, sour, sweet, bring us something good to eat!"
"I’m in my late thirties and still vividly remember the Christmas special episode where Magellan gets lost in the woods."
"Eureka’s Castle was the jam!"
"*Worms going err errrr ER err ere rrr*"
Let's talk about the shows nobody remembers but you.
Are they those early childhood favorites? Or maybe a teen-drama that only got one season before Netflix pulled it, crushing your hopes and dreams of resolved plotlines about a teenage ghost band who died of poisoned hot dogs and the incredibly talented, but heartbroken, young singer who gives them a new lease on life, love, and music?
No that is not a joke and YES I am still angry about Netflix not giving Julie and the Phantoms a second season.
Maybe it's a soap opera you think you remember watching with your mom, but maybe it was a fever dream?
Whatever it is, we want to hear about it.
Working in entertainment production is one of those things that sounds awesome - and make no mistake, it is.
It's just that it's also one of those jobs that means when your partner calls you at 1 in the morning to ask where you are, and you tell them you're out measuring lemons for Beyoncé... it's not a euphemism and it's not that weird.
Queen Bey wants a bowl of 15 evenly sized lemons for her dressing room, Queen Bey gets a bowl of 15 evenly sized lemons for her dressing room.
And because catering runners care about doing their jobs well and usually have a multi-tool on them anyway, Beyoncé is getting the sexiest, most uniformly sized, lemons we can find.
Reddit user Tacoma__Crowasked:
"What was the oddest job you’ve had and why?"
Lemons for the Queen doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, honestly.
"In small rural town, I (15M) close to 200lbs got a job as a farm Hand expecting to work planting and harvesting. I was quite a large athletic lad at the time. And I show up for my first day of work and the planting equipment on the back of the tractor was missing some parts. So my boss told me to climb atop the planting equipment to make sure it would plant deep enough"
"FML I got hired to be a heavy object, weight, ballast."
"I will never forget my first job as weight"
"Heavy Weight Champion! Literally!"
"I didn't know that was a whole job, I've only worked as ballast in addition to my other duties"
"(theme park ride operator, and would need/get to ride the rides sometimes when they needed more weight on them for one reason or another)"
"that's nothing I'm so fat that people pay me to sit in the back of their car when it snows"
"My dad used me for ballast when I was a kid. Growing up in upstate NY where we would get 12-24" of snow a day, he made a homemade plow for his lawn tractor."
"He had weights for the back drive wheels, but he needed weight on the front for the steer tires. a 50lb 5 year old who could sit on the hood of the tractor was perfect."
A Google-izer Or Is It Googlee ?evan peters google GIF by The Orchard FilmsGiphy
"Googling stuff for people."
"I used to work for kgbkgb, which was this text messaging service where you could text a number, ask any question, and get an answer for $.99. This was before smartphones became super huge, so it was a bit of a helpful gimmick back then."
"However, for everyone that we got asking normal questions like movie times, or what restaurants were open near them, or stuff like that, we got A LOT more people asking very stupid things that I would have to Google. I have this album of a bunch of weird questions that people sent to us."
"It was an interesting job that helped cover some things when I was in college, but it also had me using Google for a lot of weird sh*t."
"Oh my god, my friends and I used to send so many weird questions to services like that (never used that one though). It never occurred to me that an actual person was answering them, I always thought it was a chatbot."
"Dude I totally remember that service! I'm so sorry I definitely asked stupid questions 😅"
"I was employed by JC Penney for literally one day. I didn't quit, and I wasn't fired. That was the term of my employment."
"This was back in 1998 and I was entering my senior year of high school. They had a huge sale in the store and they hired dozens of people to cover every department because they were anticipating huge crowds. This was not a Black Friday sale, but they anticipated correctly, nonetheless."
"One of the shift supervisors gave me some busy work to start the day (folding shirts or whatever). After lunch I was basically asked to walk around from time to time and pick up any knocked over merchandise. The last few hours got boring, so one of the other supervisors that I had been chatting with throughout the day invited me to hang out during his break. His words were, 'what are they gonna do, fire you?' Good times."
"One of our local department stores (might have been Penneys) would hire a bunch of people for one day to do inventory. My wife, my MIL, SIL, and my Mom & I always got hired. We did it for 5 years, working one day a year, counting every damn thing in that store."
"Ha! I got a gig at Filene's over Christmas break one year doing the exact same thing. I think I had maybe 2-3 shifts, just walking around refolding shirts. So weird, but easy money!"
RingThe Ring Movie GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
"I was the girl that crawled out of a fake well at a Halloween hay ride once - that was actually pretty fun! Why: I was 14 and after four weeks working Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays all evening I got $150! (Under the table of course.)"
"Damn. Sounds like you got scammed on pay unless this was like the 80s or before."
"Haha it was shady, but like I said it was fun! It was especially hilarious later in the evening when all the drunk college kids would come through and freak the f*ck out at me - a kid in a ripped up costume wedding dress- practically falling out of a cardboard well with a strobe light blinding me!"
"Most of the people that worked there were teenagers and we'd just have a good time and smoke in between wagons - pay was sh*t but it was definitely an odd job that made some good memories."
"Transporting deceased people who our county declared John/Jill Does to the proper county or city coroner once they were identified."
"Some obscure state law back in the 80's made it illegal to transport that particular type of dead person while the sun was up... Screwed up job, but it paid $15 an hour back in 1985."
"Guess it paid so much because most people were unwilling to do it. That was a hell of a lot for a college student to turn down. Interesting fact. When you hit a bump in the road, with an unprepared corpse, their bodies will gurgle, and sometimes air comes out of their lungs and hits their vocal cords."
"Were you warned about the gurgling or learn from terrifying experience?"
"Got to learn about it. I guess it was a break-in-the-new guy kind of moment. The first time that I heard a moan, that about went out of the vehicle window."
"Did this show up in nightmares? How long did you do that for?"
"When i was a teenager i sold those magic eye pictures at a mall kiosk. y'know the ones you have to stare at for a while till your eyes make out a 3d picture? all day i had to try and help frustrated people try and see the f*cking sail boat."
"Ah, you worked in a mall between 1993-1997."
"My first job was with a temp agency; worked in an accounting office going through boxes of records and making sure there were no staples or fasteners in anything. Then the boxes would go to another dept to be scanned onto microfiche. I had some fancy title (like “Accounting Clerk”) and was making over $11 an hr (back when min wage was still like $5 and change) so I thought I was living large."
"A funny part of the story is that I started on a Friday, and came to work in khakis and a polo-Monday I came dressed the same way and got spoke to about dressing professionally because Friday was casual Friday and not normal dress code. Lol felt dumb having to wear business attire and a tie when I was in the back in a cubicle pulling staples out of documents."
"The entire existence of casual Friday proves dress codes don’t matter. If you can do your job the same on Friday as you can on Monday, what does it matter?"
"Exactly. I haven’t had to wear a tie to work since 1998. And I’ve worked in some pretty stuffy places since then—two Federal Reserve Banks, the Chicago Board of Trade, and the most uptight law firm in the entire history of the legal system."
Cutthroat Cookiesepisode 19 GIFGiphy
"Worked for the girl scouts and ran the cookie sale for a regional area that included a major American city."
"Craziest and most stressful job I ever had."
"It seems all cute and charming until you have 30 furious cookie moms screaming at you in your office at 6:30 AM on a Saturday because the truck carrying 5 pallets of thin mints is stuck in a blizzard."
"I had to break up fist fights between parents because someone 'stole' someone's spot outside of a grocery store. It's cutthroat."
"Anyway that job was decades ago and I still have stress nightmares about it!"
"How is 5 pallets of thin mints stuck in a blizzard really a problem? Advertise those as already frozen and sell at a premium"
"Not a job exactly but one awesome day. I used to work in the concrete business. We once had a job pouring a slab for residential parking and a neighbour nearby had a kitten just a couple months old."
"It would not stay out of the concrete as you can imagine it thought us picking it up and washing its paws was a game. Eventually the boss told me to grab the kitten and go hold it hostage in the truck."
"So I spent the next six hours sitting in the truck with a super friendly kitten sleeping on my chest. I got paid to babysit a kitten."
Kept That Swamp cleanbathroom stall GIFGiphy
"Swamp Janitor. Official title was "invasive species removal technician" but really I was a swamp janitor. "
"There was this invasive aquatic plant that would completely take over swamps and choke out all the native life, so my job was to go in with a rake and pitchfork and literally just clean up the swamp of this devil plant."
"Some parts were cool, watching eagles fish, seeing turtles come up for air and big fish swimming in the water but a lot of it sucked. The plant had sharp seeds that would pierce your skin and your waders. You'd get leeches, tics and mosquitos on you all day. Physically exhausting with lots of sun."
"You'd have to haul the plant matter to giant compost heaps that were full of snakes (for some reason the snakes liked it). It was a unique but grueling job."
"That sounds absolutely horrifying. How much did it pay?"
"Pretty sure it was min wage."
"What kind of plant was it?"
"European Water Chestnut (but in Canada, so no bueno)"
Okay so we've measured lemons for royalty, been a taxi for dead folks, and been an overpaid staple remover with a fancy title.
You're up, readers.
Got anything that competes with that?
In spite of considerable work being, and progress, made to change things, it remains a fact that men have countless advantages in modern society.
In addition to not having to deal with several biological issues all women must endure, men still seem to have the upper hand when applying for positions of power, or being trusted with major responsibilities.
As a result, those who do not identify as men often roll their eyes when men of any age offer even the slightest complaint.
Which doesn't mean that plenty of men still maintain that there are definite downsides to carrying those he/him pronouns.
Redditor jojomecoco was curious to hear what the men of Reddit considered the biggest obstacles and challenges which come with their gender, leading them to ask:
"Boys, what's the downside to being a male?"
What lies between one's legs...
"Getting hit in the nuts."- Phantomtastic
"Balls stick to leg."- BuffGroot
"All the expectations."
"'We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon'."- SparkAxolotl
"Our childhood interests don’t truly change much into adulthood, but we are often seen as childish if we continue to pursue them."
"One of my greatest laments is the magnitude of friends who said, 'when I grow up I’ll be able to afford..,' yet abandoned those dreams due to social conditioning."- nixxy19nicksplat doug GIFGiphy
Don't let a persona fool you.
:Being called a creep when you call a kid adorable."- OkraFit3987
Men like hugs too...
"I haven't been hugged in 14 years."- Delphii42
It can be hard for everyone...
"Whatever dating is now."- Thompson_S_Sweetback
"The loneliness."- ReindeerMean6253lonely season 7 GIFGiphy
"Almost never get compliments."
What are your intentions, exactly?
"I can’t be nice to women without them thinking I’m hitting on them or what have you."
"Like yeah you’re pretty but also, I’m just being polite."- pdeagz
When push comes to shove, sometimes we all feel like the world is against us, and we have to face an uphill battle.
But if one were to provide a study, the likely outcome would prove that men, namely white, cisgender, heterosexual men, often have a much less steep hill to climb than anyone else.
And though it might certainly be a different sensation, getting hit really hard between the legs is painful for everyone.
Depending on the job, non-office employees work tirelessly to push through with their physically-demanding tasks despite their fatigue to earn that paycheck.
But in their exhaustion, judgments can be impaired and exhausted workers can be vulnerable to workplace hazards.
And when an accident occurs while on company property, it's a devastating predicament that can have long-term effects.
Curious to hear job horror stories, Redditor Bwrice asked:
"What’s a work related accident that still haunts you to this day?"
"Beware of falling objects" was the last thing on these workers' minds.
Do Pets Miss Their Owners?
"While building Levi Stadium, a trucker was unloading rebar when the entire pile fell on him, impaling him multiple times and also crushing him."
"I never met the man, but his cat and elderly dog ended up a a local shelter. We planned to adopt the dog and ended up taking home the cat too because we didn't want to split them."
"Nena (the dog) passed away in her sleep in 2017 about 2 years after we brought her home. Seal (the cat) is around 7 years old now and doing just fine."
"I've always wondered if they ever thought of him."
"Worked for Edy's Ice Cream. My truck was loaded wrong so at a stop had to shimmy between pallets to get to the back pallet."
"Was unloading the top pallet and the pallet below collapsed. The top pallet slid on to me. But since I was between 2 waist high pallets about 1200lbs of ice cream bent me at the waist the wrong way."
"Sort of like bending over normally, backwards."
"Ended up with 2 broken vertebrae, nerve damage and was not fun."
"Eventually got a six disc fusion and was able to walk again."
"But now I have arthritis in my back and it really hurts most of the time. I also have numb areas in my right thigh and my whole lower back."
"Would not recommend."
"Trench collapse. Guy was pinned mid chest. Not good but not immediately fatal. Guy’s coworkers freak out and use the backhoe to dig him out. Ended up catching him with the teeth on the bucket. Essentially cut him in half."
"The guy on the backhoe was his brother."
"Dude would have probably been alright had they rescued him the right way."
Drowning in Molasses
"Not me, but at the cookie factory where my brother worked a worker died when someone accidentally dumped out a massive mixer full of molasses on top of him. He suffocated before they could dig him out."
No one ever expected these jabs to happen.
Implementation Of A Rule
"Engineer decided to open a parcel with a Stanley knife, not sure if he slipped or what angle he was cutting at but BAM! Stanley knife in the eye. Never saw him again but h&s quickly introduced a policy that safety goggles needed to be worn when opening boxes"
Ruined Wedding Gown
"Used to be a wedding caterer. While the bride and groom were going to cut the cake it started to fall off the table as they were both trying to catch this ridiculously huge thing the bride slipped, fell into a pyramid of wine glasses on a foldout table behind her... The table collapsed and a wine glass stem pierced her neck."
"She survived, but she was not gonna be able to take that gown back to the rental place... I've never seen so much blood in my life."
These accidents were uniquely different from the common examples above, but horrific, nonetheless.
Mad At The Machine
"I dunno if you can call this an accident but I was working with this guy and outta nowhere he says 'I'm sick of working here, check this out' and jammed his foot into the gears on the machine. Completely mangled his foot. Saw him 20 years later and his foot was still f'ked."
"He was looking for a couple weeks of workers comp, got a lifetime disability instead. It was pretty horrific."
Bashed In The Face
"Work in a dealership and once a tech was using a tool that broke free bashing him in the face, knocking out multiple teeth, splitting his lip and breaking his nose…it was a bloody mess. Young kid, with balls of steel appearantly. While waiting for an ambulance he was sitting there talking and smiled to show the damage. That smile was horrifying. He recovered and got a ton of dental work and still works there."
"I was a cashier in a grocery store. One of my fellow cashiers was a senior, just killing time in retirement. One day, she had a dizzy spell, collapsed, and cracked her head open on the floor. Paramedics were called, and as they were loading her into the ambulance, she was crying out that she could still finish her shift."
"I used to fly small airplanes in north west Alaska. In the two years I worked there I knew three pilots that died in crashes."
"Don’t miss how those days felt."
"Coworker, who was fresh out of trade school was using a table saw to cut 1” thick sheets of plastic into strips. It was cold so he put on some leather work gloves."
"A glove got caught and pulled his hand into the saw, nearly severing his right index and middle fingers."
"He came to me and said, 'uh, I think I cut my hand'. It literally looked like a package of pork ribs - all mangled bone and tissue."
"They were able to save the fingers, but they’re non functional and don’t bend."
Working in theater, I've seen my share of fellow performers getting injured.
From theme parks to Broadway, the things actors do for the sake of entertaining audiences are nothing short of risky.
Anything can go wrong when actors rush backstage for a quick costume change or when they rely solely on the mechanics of set pieces to move efficiently.
A good friend of mine was the victim of the latter, when he expected the bottom of the trap door would be clear of a moveable stair case when jumped in as he always did at a particular moment during a theme park show.
He landed on a staircase that hadn't been switched out for the airbag because of a crew member's incompetence.
My friend sustained several non life-threatening injuries but survived.
The things we do for art...