Former Members Of Hate Groups Recount Their 'I Gotta Get Outta Here' Stories
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Some pasts are too shameful to talk about.

Former hate group members, and their family and friends, share various stories of redemption, and opened up about how they've made amends with their past, misguided hatred.


Redditor JeaniousSpelur asked former Neo-Nazis and hate group members:

"What was your 'I need to get out of here' moment?"

"I was left for dead..."

"The long story short is that it was late September; I'd just gone back to university. It was evening, and I'd started a knife fight with native girls over something that I don't even remember. Street fighting was a thing for me at the time, I was in the best shape of my life, and I was fairly confident that this was a fight that I could win."

"The fight went well right up until the point that it didn't. Adults in the room, you've probably guessed where this is going. I was stabbed fourteen times in the back and left for dead on a sidewalk. I can tell you what it feels like to lay there in a puddle of your own blood."

AlwaysDisposable123

"One day a friend of his threw a molotov cocktail..."

"Not my story but my dads, He was a neo-naxi in his youth and teenage years and often would get Into fights with people (he used to be a man made of pure muscle, worked as a bouncer on the weekends) and had a real hate against immigrants and punks."

"Well one day a friend of his threw a molotov cocktail onto a trailer with people inside and told everyone, my dad quickly left his friends and found better ones."

DrkLgndsLP

"He fell in love..."

"When I was younger I lived next to an ex kkk leader. One day I asked him what made him leave and he said he was online looking for more people to recruit when he met a woman he fell in love with and when he found out that she was a mixed race woman it completely changes his views."

LyteRay1943

Giphy

"I used to justify this hate..."

"I was no where near a nazi but hating others only destroys yourself. I used to justify this hate by saying I hated an 'idea' and not the people who subscribed to this idea but it was just cover for hate and it ruined me all the same."

jessmattsam

"I realized how real these guys were..."

"Was never part of a group officially but socially I was one of the gang. I was in a bad place mentally and they (the local Nazis) basically were nice to me and I got involved with them. I left when I got worried about where it would end. I realised how real these guys were. I thought it was just the tattoos and the noise, but the guys I was close with were under investigation for supposed arms trafficking (Extra bad as this was the UK) and heard rumours about MI5 having files. Wasn't sure I bought it, but I wasn't taking the chance. Cut all contact over the space of like a week."

sozimdrunk

"I gradually killed off the conversation..."

"I never actually joined such a movement / mentality but there was a bit of an attempt to 'recruit' me... I've always been a history enthusiast and WW2 has always especially been a topic I enjoyed researching. I went through a bit of a phase where I was focusing a lot on the German side of the war."

"Anyway, I ended up talking to a German lad who seemed nice enough. His grandfather was in the SS and I was getting him to tell me his stories and such (purely for educational reasons on my part)."

"Gradually over time he started dropping little things in chat and communication which seemed a bit.. 'wow.. uhh..', started to show his views on immigration and all that sort of stuff and as the weeks went by darker and darker little scoops started coming out, at this point he was saying we should meet up and stuff. I gradually killed of the conversation and haven't spoken to him in a few years."

Phynnoderee

"They started buying guns..."

"My friend walked away from the skinheads when they started buying guns. Or, that's what he told me 25 years ago. Turns out he walked away after they murdered a random guy. He was probably a witness/accessory to the crime."

waheifilmguy

"I didn't want to be grouped in..."

"I used it to be a Nationalist, and while I was one of the Nationalists who weren't racist, the reputation of hate that came with the ideology alienated me from it. I didn't want to be grouped in with those awful people."

Northumbrialand

"He apologized and left very quickly"

"I had a crazy experience with a former Neo Nazi/KKK member. For 2 years i worked with a guy who was very shy and timid, i felt i needed to take time with him to make him feel more at ease when at work. So over time he was a little more chatty with me and i could see he was enjoying work way more since i was getting him involved."

"But something he always said no too was joining works weekly footy match, but finally after a few months of asking he said yes. So here we are in the changing rooms he comes very late so he is last in to get dressed as we head out to warm up. I have forgetton my water bottle so i head back, knowing its only him in there."

"As I open the door he has his shirt off facing the wall and there it was the biggest Swastika symbol tattoo i have ever seen on this mans back. He panicks and throws me up the wall with his hands and my neck, he apologised and left very quickly. Never seen him again, he did not come back to work."

TezzTezza

"She didn't have the same beliefs..."

"When I met my (now) wife. She didn't have the same beliefs as me. We started hanging out and talking more and I just stopped being as involved in the movement. Over time my beliefs started to change. I started to meet some of her friends who were not white and after having a fun night out, I realized not everybody in the world is bad."

"Fast forward ten years, we're married now with a life of our own. We moved away from where we grew up. And I haven't spoken to any of my old contacts in years."

robitt88

"He was jumped by members..."

"My uncle was part of the kkk. He was very poor and homeless and the kkk supplies you with housing and food and pays for things for you. But he tried quitting and one day as he left a bar, he was jumped by members and had his chest slit open. He had to get around 200 staples but he still quit. Thankfully"

bambixx_

"I was shedding my racism..."

"I started to get older and learn more compassion. I was a lonely kid and I didn't have many friends, and I already grew up in a racist household and many of my family members are neo nazis, covered with white supremacy tattoos. I discovered a group of older skin head kids and I fell into it pretty bad."

"As I was learning more compassion and slowly was shedding my neo nazi beliefs, my buddies were bragging that they beat up another mutual friend of ours when he said he wasn't a nazi anymore and he was dating a black woman. I was already thinking about leaving the group. It was basically a little gang."

"Once I found out they were beating up people for leaving I realized it really was like a gang and I didn't want anything to do with it. I was shedding my racism and I didn't want to be involved."

Comrade_Oghma

"He became a born again Christian..."

"Not me, but my grandfather evidently was a member of either the Klan or associated hate group back in the 1960s. He became a born-again Christian and walked away from it. There was little evidence of his history as I grew up...I only found out after my mother told me about it after he passed away."

ElucidatedBrethren

"That interaction completely changed my outlook on LGBTQ+ people..."

"I met a gay man. I was raised in a very homophobic home in a rural area, and I always believed gays were bad people. I thought they were rude, self centered, and bullies. I distanced myself from them until one day I was assigned to work with a flamboyantly gay man. I was horrified."

Giphy

"He proved to be one of the nicest, most caring people I had ever met. He was a fantastic listener and good with melding ideas together. That interaction completely changes my outlook on LGBTQ+ people, much to the horror of my conservative family. They are quite uncomfortable that one of my best friends is a pansexual that uses they/them pronouns."

"I don't know why I didn't think people were decent humans just because of who they are attracted to, but opening my eyes allowed me to meet so many amazing people."

anyythinggoes

"My niece married a Neo-Nazi... or at least we thought...."

"My niece in Romania married a neo-nazi last year...or at least we thought he was because of his long Facebook history, racist tattoos, prior arrest for hooliganism, etc. I had a 4 hour car ride with him and had a long chat. He quit because he left the Romania for a little while to work in Amsterdam. His co-workers were from all over the world, including African countries and Israel."

"He realized everyone was pretty much the same after drinking with them and smoking after work. There was nothing about them worth hating, they were doing the same thing he was. He basically quit Facebook and started getting his tats modified, and hasn't touched politics at all since 3 or 4 years."

PolecatEZ

"He saved the guy's life..."

"Not a former neo Nazi, but I worked with a guy who's dad was in the Klan. Brawl breaks out at the bar, and he's getting beat up. One of our few black bouncers jumped in and saved the guys life. Dude disowned his dad, got his rebel pride flag tatooed over, and had the dude that saved his life as his best man in his wedding. The feels from that moment were so. Strong"

CaptChair

"I was young and stupid..."


"I was a part of a political party with a heavy Anti-Immigrant stand who had a reputation of beating up immigrant workers, I was young and stupid, only later I realized if someone who couldn't even speak the language of the land can easily find a job and work here then something was wrong with me. I felt humbled and became an immigrant myself and emigrated the greatest immigrant country of all."

speeddevil789

"We're all the same on the inside..."

"My moment was when I realized that the other neo Nazis who 'educated' me were not only exaggerating, but sometimes just straight up lied. I challenged one of them on this one idea and they just straight up insulted me for "having the audacity" to ask such a question. Then I got blocked cause they were afraid that I'd report their posts in retaliation."

"After awhile I came to realize that people of all races and ethnicities; we're all the same on the inside. I did more research on the evidence I was shown and I used to justify my hatred and it turned out to be heavily exaggerated and sometimes just completely false."

CrimzonShardz

"I got out of there..."

"Wasn't actually a member but when I saw that someone I used to be friends with trying to indoctrinate I got curious and asked for evidence, sources, etc."

Giphy

"A lot of their sources for stuff like race = predisposed behaviour and holocaust denial are usually either related to statistics that are really easy to be faked. I got out of there but the psychology of how people get sucked into that type of stuff fascinates me."

an_iron_giant

"They were all ignorant..."

"They were all ignorant. Their entire body of knowledge was little more than passed down excuses and cliches. None of them were actually contributing anything to society. They weren't making the world a better place. They were doing nothing except figuring out how to keep someone under them so they didn't have to be the bottom of society. They were EXACTLY what they said every other race was."

getyousomefonts

drawing kids into such toxic ways...

"I used to be very into far/alt right thinking, especially regarding immigrants, muslims, feminists, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Once you get sucked into it you can very quickly go down the rabbit hole. Online forums and communities are a big issue in drawing kids into such toxic ways of thinking and I don’t think they get enough coverage."

"Anyway I realized I was on the wrong side and an asshat when I started interacting with the very people I hated. My one friend introduced me to a Muslim immigrant student that was in my science class. He started sitting with me and I discovered we had a lot in common. We quickly became really good friends and through just interacting with him on a personal level I began to realize how idiotic my beliefs were. We were exactly the same minus the color of our skin and the god we prayed to."

"Through seriously questioning my beliefs I was overcome with shame realizing how misguided I was. I started purging everything I had learned online and looked at everything with an open mind and I’ve done a complete 180. I’ve started living my life in an actual Christian manner, loving everyone, treating everyone with kindness, caring for the poor, homeless, and oppressed."

"Going on 10 years of friendship with him, we both consider each other our best friend. Wildest part is he doesn’t even know how much of an impact he’s had on my life and the debt I’ll never be able to repay as far as I’m concerned."

TheLimpD**kVirgin

“date outside my race.”

"I’m white and my husband is black. My dad is a very old school southern green beret who always told me that I was not to 'date outside my race.' My dad got deployed all over and was very much absent for my senior year of high school until a couple years in to college."

"When I finally talked to him he found out I was attending FAMU (a historically black university) and the first thing he said was 'you’re not dating a black guy are you?' But I was... in fact I had been with him for years at that point. We were only together for a few months when he put his life on hold to work five jobs to help put me through college."

"My dad was incredibly angry and he essentially disowned me. Years later he met my husband (who was my fiancé at that time) and after talking with him for about a half an hour my big, scary, racist dad burst into hysterics and apologized profusely."

"It was like switch flipped while he was talking with My fiancé and he realized that he was the a**hole and he just kept apologizing, It was shocking honestly and something I won’t ever forget. It’s been almost ten years since that day and he still apologizes and is trying to make up for it."

6CO26H2O_C6H12O66O2

It broke my heart

"I wasn't part of a hate group, but I was anti-gay for a long time. My childhood best friend (TJ) was secretly gay his entire life. He didn't tell me ever, and we were best friends since first grade. In seventh grade, my family and I moved so I ended up going to a different school. Wasn't too far away (less than an hour), so TJ and I still remained in contact for a bit, but by tenth grade, we had lost contact (there was never a falling out, we just naturally drifted apart over time)."

"When I was in twelfth grade, I reconnected with a mutual friend who told me that TJ had got beaten up badly a few weeks prior because his friends didn't accept him as a gay man. It broke my heart. I have supported the LGBTQ community since."

downvotezfordayzzz

Fitting In

"When I fell for a black girl. I think I was trying to fit in and be cool by being involved with people like that instead of actually being racist. I needed somewhere to fit in."

Paffmassa

Reform

"Somewhat related, but I found this guy recently on TikTok (I know a lot of people hate it, but it fills the void Vine left for me) who was a white supremacist for 20 years. In this video he explains his face tattoos and how a lot of them were symbols of hate and after he reformed he had them covered up with symbols of Polynesian and African culture, two cultures that he used to hate and learned to love. I really recommend checking him out, he has some great stories about how he has grown as a person over the years."

-eDgAR-

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But we also need to pay attention to all that follows.

I'm starting to believe a first impression can be a great fake-out.

People will allow their true colors to shine over time.

Redditor Xanax_Sprite wanted everyone to open up about what things people can do that immediately change one's opinion of a person's character, not for the better.

They asked:

"What immediately makes you think less of someone?"

It's entirely too easy to turn me off. I admit, it's an issue. Maybe that's a thing people suddenly dislike about me.

Bad Behavior

rude bon qui qui GIFGiphy

"Intentional embarrassment. When someone brings something up in front of a group to humiliate someone else."

mr_xen_

Man Up

"Not taking responsibility for their actions."

DragonVash

"Even worse. people who make excuses for their mistakes, no matter how bluntly you point it out to them that this is their shortcoming. Man up and admit you make a mistake. Stop telling me A happened then B happened so C happened. we are here to work, not tell each other make believe stories."

Chomusuke_99

Be Quiet

"Someone who interrupts a serious conversation to make it about them."

-Zuine-

"Being subject to that infuriating s**t was what eventually inspired me to listen to people more, especially regarding heavier topics. Sometimes people just need to be heard and held, and it isn't fair for them to expose their vulnerabilities only to have you dismiss them by trying to make their suffering about you."

I_Consume_Shampoo

Where are they?

"How they speak about a person who is not present in the conversation."

weirdlikenick

"One of the most important lessons my father taught me..."

"Don't speak about a person if they're not in the room."

"They don't have a representative in the room and especially if your words get back to them and they can't say 'I know, he already had that convo with me.' I've earned a rep for not speaking behind people's backs to the point where when someone claimed I did, that person called them a liar. Pops sucked but I thank him for that lesson."

thatswhatshesaidxx

Be Consistent

Jennifer Lawrence Reaction GIFGiphy

"Hypocrites."

silentsurge95

"100. People can change their opinions, but not flip flop regularly."

0rd0abCha0

I can't with hypocrites. My life's biggest pet peeve.

Be clean

Season 4 Episode 22 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"Littering."

Miniturbo23

"Yep, had a coworker once who spit on the floor inside."

"It was a warehouse-type building, but still. This particular guy also left cigarette butts on the floor inside and dumped a dog on the business property. Needless to say, he didn't last long here. Some people are just really rude and stupid."

UnderstatedEssence

Say Sorry

"Had a friend who never, ever apologized for anything or really took any responsibility. Even in situations which were funny and non-serious, he’d always talk his a** out of it (in a jokey matter). But when some s**t hit the fan, that guy turned into one of the scariest, manipulative and aggressive people I’ve met that would rather die than take accountability for the things he’s done."

"And for which there were many witnesses and evidence against him. Moral of the story, if you know someone who won’t say sorry or admit they did something wrong for even the least serious things, run, because when they actually do something seriously bad it’s just gonna get real ugly."

confused-girly

Face 2 Face

"Lying to my face. There’s no going back in my eyes because I will never trust you. Secrets are fine and dandy. That’s not quite the same as straight up lying. A direct example is people lying about their family dying to get out of work or when this older woman in her 40’s tried to lie about cleaning up her work station when she left it for me to clean."

brazosandbosque

“as a joke”

"Being mean to animals."

Catatonia86

"Even when people joke about being mean to animals. I have a cat I love dearly and the number of comments I get about harming cats because people don’t like them 'as a joke' is infuriating and not funny, Ken."

indiscreetraven

"I include poorly training their pets in this. It’s neglect/negligence and it’s abuse."

baby_*itchface

Eyes Up

Call Me Lol GIF by Black PrezGiphy

"When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them."

Beedalabupp

It doesn't take much to change an impression. Let's do better.