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Former Lazy People Reveal Exactly How They Got Their Lives Together

Former Lazy People Reveal Exactly How They Got Their Lives Together

Former Lazy People Reveal Exactly How They Got Their Lives Together

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Life is difficult y'all. Like no joke rough. And so many of us give into fear, disappointment and just simply laziness because we refuse to think there is better. And that is just work of the devil. Being lazy and depressed does not have to be a life sentence. There is hope and medications.

Redditor _taliaflower asked for the best advice out there on how to be a more active person and greater version of one's self. _

FIND A MENTOR.

Being around driven and accomplished people.

I realized the joy they felt after they accomplished a milestone was far greater than any happiness I felt by doing nothing. When they rested they rested and when they partied they partied hard. It was amazing to see people living edge to edge on life and pushing themselves to their limits because they can. And I've always wondered what can I do? It may not be as great as them, but it's better than if I'd done nothing. And I can build on successes.

START MAKING A LIST.

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Changed my method of thinking.

  • Do a task while I'm thinking about it and just be done with it. Gets it out of my mind and I no longer need to be thinking about it.
  • Do not paralyze myself into inactivity. It doesn't need to be done perfectly, it just needs to be done. I can always revisit and look for ways of improving or being more efficient.
  • Challenge your brain to be hyper efficient. How you can optimize your time in a given moment, to get the max things that need to get done in the shortest amount of time. You have 10 things that need to get done, you only completed 5. You still completed 5 things. Next time, you have a target for improvement.
  • Use laziness as a reward and not a barrier. I reward myself with doing nothing for 3 hours, once I've cleared off all my tasks. Few things feel better, than doing absolutely nothing with a clear mind.
  • I pretend I have a drill sergeant in my brain and I'm in boot camp. Every time I am tempted to leave something until later, the drill sergeant tells me that is not an option. To get the moving and get sTUFF done NOW. And then I get it done because I don't want to "be that guy" that can't seem to leave things better than I found them.
  • Finally, appreciate the effort. When you do something, give yourself some credit. That s*** matters. Remind yourself that taking care of your life, in all aspects of it, is a benefit to you. YOU are worth taking care of. Lazy is a label, it's not a word that defines who you are. You are either doing what needs to be done, or you make the choice not to. Make the choice to do it. Be proud of how productive you are while feeling good about the mindset.

You can do this.

HEY BRAIN... I FOOLED YOU!

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You know how you sometimes have to pretend to be sleeping in order to fall asleep? I started pretending I wasn't lazy, and then I wasn't lazy anymore.

FACE THE FEAR.

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About the big stuff, I realized I wasn't really lazy, I was just afraid of failure and lacked confidence. I think my subconscious logic was that I shouldn't bother to try because I was likely to fail and end up in the same place anyway, so why put in the effort?

As cliché as it sounds, what got me out of that was to start to think of "failures" as just practice runs for whatever I wanted so I could learn to do it again differently until I got it right. I also tried to train myself to feel excited about the potentially positive outcomes, rather than dwelling of the dispiriting nature of the possible negative ones.

Another simple thing that keeps me trying is thinking about what my PhD advisor said about applying for grants, which are so much work and competitive now it sometimes can feel like it's not worth the effort: "There is only one way I know to guarantee that you won't get a grant, and that's not to apply for it at all." It's a pretty good counter to my old argument of "why try if I am going to fail anyway?"

JUST DO IT!

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The philosophy of "if a task takes less than two minutes, DO IT".

If things pile up then you'll never be motivated to finish your chores, let alone do anything else than procrastinate. Seriously, if something takes less than 2 or even 5 minutes, do it! You'll realize how much s*** gets done and you will definitely be less lazy.

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET....

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The 3, 2, 1 philosophy has changed the game for me.

"3...2....1....go."

gets out of bed

"3...2....1....go."

goes to work

"3...2....1....go."

tries not to U-turn and call off sick

FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

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The realization that true laziness meant doing things right the first time so that I have more free time to be lazy.

BABY STEPS...

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One recent revelation that I had about motivation and action was that soooo much of what I decided to do was very much based on whether or not I was sitting. Sounds kinda dumb, but, you know. Do I need more water? Yeah, but I'll get it next time I get up. Do I need to check my work email? Yeah, but I'll check it next time I get up. Do I need to chop those veggies for dinner? Yeah, but I'll do it when I get up.

It's inertia. I don't want to put in the effort to start something if I'm already at rest. I enjoy rest. Rest is comfy. Rest feels nice. So, I started to turn it to my advantage, at least a little. I sit on my ass, at rest, for as long as I please. Eventually, I will have to get up. Everybody's gotta go to the bathroom sometime, right? So instead of just going to the bathroom, doing one thing while I'm up, I do two things. Doesn't matter what they are. I'm standing, so I'm in action. Take care of whatever forced me to get up, then do something I know I also need to do. I don't push myself, or go on cleaning sprees or anything, but once I'm up I just think, "might as well do this while I'm up." Silly little idea, but it's been working for me. And then when I've done TWO THINGS, I return to my sitting-on-my-ass position. Until the next time when I will accomplish two more things.

LET'S CALL PAT SAJAK!

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Ever since I was a kid, I'd pretend I was on a game show. Best room cleaner! Look at the efficiency as she mops! Zero streaks on that window! Amazing multitasking! I still find myself thinking this sometimes.

YOU WON'T GET ME TODAY SATAN!

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Don't overcome it, harness it. Laziness is only a vice if you let it control you.

The trick is to game it. Do a few tasks now that save you time down the road, so by being less lazy in the moment you can be even lazier later.

One of my big ones is to prepare a huge pot of some food I particularly like - green chile stew, for instance - on Sunday, and then just make it my primary intake for the rest of the week. If I plan well, I can go entire days without needing to put on pants.

KNOW THE SOURCE.

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My parents are literally the laziest people I've ever met. Growing up, things were a lot crappier than they had to be. After moving out, I realized a lot of their bad habits had been instilled in me and my siblings. So I guess my work ethic came from wanting a way more quality life. I get commended all the time for my hard work, but it really stems from fear of returning to that lifestyle.

TRY HEAD CANDY.

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Went on anti-depressants. They provide enough of a boost that willpower becomes effective again.

IT'S IN YOUR FOLLOW THROUGH.

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I'm the kind of guy who has big ideas, but no follow-through. I spend all my time daydreaming or making big ideas and than I never do them. It's partially laziness, but not just laziness.

I finally picked something that I knew I could make a final product of, that I had always wanted to do. I had always wanted to make an app for Android, so I just buckled down, and said "I'm going to finish this". Picked a reasonably simple idea and just forced myself every day to do it. In the end, the gratification of people downloading my app was completely worth it.

The key for me is changing your belief about how things work. Really satisfying, complete things only come about with hard work. Most people don't luck into success. They work harder and harder and harder. Even naturally talented people have to build on that foundation. Start small, let yourself enjoy the reward of completion, and then work on bigger things.

I'm currently working on two other things I've always wanted to do: speak another language, and do card magic. Both have required a TON of time, but I set myself a goal every day of working on both things by the end of the day. Even if I just do a little, I know I've made progress.

BLOOD CIRCULATION IS KEY.

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Standing. Seriously just start standing more and you'll become more energetic.

ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOU.

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Stopped relying on others to do stuff for me. Got away from people that allowed me to be lazy. I joined the Navy for a few years and learned to take care of myself. Remember, you just have to be responsible for you first.

NOTE TO SELF : I OWE YOU BOO.

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I like to tell myself what would a younger version think of me right now? Would he look up to me or be disappointed. I don't want to disappoint, so that usually gets me the motivation to try my next task.

PUT DOWN THE VODKA.

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Don't overthink something, do it in the moment. Also stop drinking.

PLAN AHEAD.

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I started a routine. Wake up at the same time everyday and set up your day in chunks of time. Nothing crazy, don't plan out every hour but right before you go to bed make a list of things you need to accomplish the next day. It's really helped me get a lot more done and be productive.

TRY ANYTHING YOU WIMP!

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Just do something... anything and you will start doing something productive unconsciously.

START FROM THE BOTTOM.

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Got laid off, went bankrupt and lost my house.

Losing everything is a hell of a motivator.

USE YOUR WORDS WISELY.

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Stop thinking about yourself as lazy. That's a label that you've picked up somewhere along the way that stuck, but that doesn't necessarily reflect reality.

Start to be curious about why you don't want to do certain things, or put your full effort into them. Do you have unconscious fears around what might happen if you did? Be curious and non-judgmental with yourself.

Once you start to understand why you don't do certain things, you may start to discover reasons to do them after all (or perhaps learn that you just want to do different things!).

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.