Bullies are people too. It's difficult to acknowledge that, for sure. When you're the tormented person you don't care, nor do you have to care about why the person torturing you is doing it. The black and white answer is that they have no right, no matter how much pain the are in. But it is nice when down the road people recognize the error of their ways and even make atonement.
Redditor u/MrCleanisagodlybeing wanted the reformed bullies out there to share by asking.... Ex Bullies of reddit, what's your side of the story?
It wasn't me....
GiphyShe blamed me for stealing a fruit roll up when I didn't. I just happened to have one as well. I got in trouble. My parents were abusive. I got a pretty bad beating that day. I bullied her until I moved away in 10th grade. awwsomedraggin
I didn't know....
Genuinely just didn't know why i was bullying the dude. i thought we were having some friendly horseplay fun every day as i was one of those girls who liked to show off my strength to the boys so they wouldn't call me weak, & then one night over dinner my parents were like "dude his parents told us he complained about u bullying him, what the f**k." needless to say, the "friendly horseplay fun" stopped soon after as i felt completely awful. dementedsockpuppet
Pain Travels....
I bullied some kid in middle school. He was a nice kid but kinda geeky. An easy target in other words. It's no excuse, but I was being tormented by my older brother and my mom refused to do anything to stop him. Anywho, I would pick on him and it wasn't until some teachers and my friends pointed it out to me. I wish I could go back in time and kick my own butt. I actually thought about messaging him on FB to apologize but I chickened out. casino_night
Sorry Aidan....
I think the worst I've ever done was back in 3rd grade. There was a kid who got angry really easily and also lied a lot. Looking back on it I think he was just lonely and had minor anger issues, but my friends and I liked to call him out on his stuff constantly and make fun of him, which obviously only made it worse.
I still feel bad about it and I have no idea where he went after elementary school.
Aidan, if you're out there I'm sorry. From me and the other guys too, we didn't have it particularly good either once middle school started and I know how you feel now. LittleHuzzahGuy
Self-Actualization...
GiphyMy friends and I used to make fun of and torment the kids who were a bit younger than us who we thought were "annoying." Only looking back we all realized what jerks we were. RekNepZ
**** rolls down hill....
Bullying was systematic in my school - a relic of the English prep school fagging culture. I was part of a continuum. The older boys bullied me, I bullied the younger boys. It was expected.
They've washed that out of the school culture now. A catalyst was a speech by a single student. He stood up in assembly (as School Captain) a few years ago and spoke about his experience of bullying as a gay student. Changed a lot of attitudes. HandsomeLakitu
I need to Eat...
I was being starved at my house regularly by my mother. When you go long enough without eating you get desperate. I was poor but a lot of kids at my school would get money from their parents to buy snacks out of the vending machine. I use to beat kids up and take their money so I could get pop tarts from the vending machine so I could feed myself when my mom wouldn't let me eat.
I was the most hated kid in my school and kids were terrified of me. Before I started beating people up, I tried asking for people to buy me food but they either only had enough for them or told me no, so I did what I had to do to eat. Cannabilistichokie
I was Blind....
I thought everyone hated me, and thought it didn't matter what I did or said. Didn't really realize it was me being a bully, I was young and stupid. I think a lot of it was self centered, thinking that people should have liked me and they when they didn't, leaned really hard into not being liked. Looking back I'm sure there were plenty of reasons I didn't get along with people in the first place, or maybe they didn't hate me and I just couldn't see that. mindovermountains
I wish you well....
She was about 3 years younger and claimed I hit her. I had not. I denied it. I was given detention for a month. The whole thing was odd. The principal every day asked me if I hit her and I kept saying no. My parents kept getting calls about it. My teachers kept asking me. One month of me saying I never stroke her and them asking me again and again to confess. I still can't make heads or tails of it. Detention didn't bother me much. I thought the whole thing was a waste of time.
No idea. I didn't know her well before that and kept my distance for the next few years from her after that. I sometimes think that maybe I had bumped into her or something and she thought I had hit her on purpose other times I think that she was just a kid and wanted to see what would happen if she made a story up.
In any case she described me as a bully and that is my side of the story I am confused. Hope your life is going well. low_penalty
Sometimes it's earned...
GiphyI never actually bullied anyone but I did beat this one kid up a bit, my grandad had died 2 days ago and this little f**ker came and starts taunting me singing "your grandads dead" so I kicked the little fool in the crotch, several times. MarkGimmeTheZuc
I'm sorry 'C'
I was in 5th grade, only had 1 friend. My friend and this guy were getting close, and having had someone try to cut me off from this friend before, I was scared. So I teased him, laughed at him, even pushed him once on a field trip. It all caught up when a mutual friend caught up to me while I was running laps in PE and said 'C thinks you're bullying him.'
I had to drop out of the class because I was crying so hard, I felt awful. I've since apologized multiple times, he's somehow forgiven me, and he's a wonderful person that I still see around school. trash_tm
Not so sorry....
GiphyI only bullied a kid because he bullied me to such an extent I had to get therapy and my mental health was plummeting. I grew to be bigger than him and I saw it as an opportunity. TBH I loved every second of it and he got to experience what I felt. I still haven't recovered from my mental health scare but I realize how much of a fool move it was to do that but a part of me still doesn't feel bad for him. Urnanhasmitochondria
Not Social...
I used to be one of those kids that just follows the bully around and agrees with everything they say. For a long time I just called people names and talked down to them. I never hit anybody or anything, but I could be pretty cruel. I grew up on food stamps, but lived in a rich neighborhood because my grandparents so gratefully "took us in" (and then proceeded to lie and cheat about damn near everything for a long time, but thats another story).
I was constantly surrounded by kids who got whatever they wanted, and i often felt i had little to no control. There were a lot of missed opportunities for me just because my family couldn't pay. I think shitting on other kids was one of the few things that gave me any confidence, but one day the bully i was friends with moved away, and i realized most kids didn't really like my presence. It set me back socially pretty far, and to this day i wish i could apologize to those kids, but at this point i can barely remember who it was i did that too. Witchy829
Even though you deserved it.....
A girl (classmate and ex best friend) used to bully me, talk about me behind my back and plotted all of my classmates against me and did anything she could to make me cry.
One day I exposed everything she had done and afterwards I bullied her for a while by saying how horrible she was to her face.
One time she cried and I felt so horrible about it that I never did it again. At the end of school I apologized and still feel horrible about what I did to this day because even though she was a vile person I never want to see that I've become someone equally as bad as her. belizzb
He was mean first....
He was actually a really mean kid, used to be friends with him before I realized how mean he was. Stuff advanced to him being teased by the whole class because he was such a d**k to everybody. I joined in on the whole thing, and now I realize it was kinda like bullying in retrospect, even if he earned the negative attention. Rex_Maztar27
Following the Lead.....
I wasn't really a bully but I was a pretty annoying/entitled b**ch back in middle school and it honestly didn't even hit me until a year or two ago (??), I had/have an entitled mother (to some degree) and I looked up to her as a kid so I guess I was just copying her actions. Chogisoo
Don't Lie....
I bullied a girl because i found out she told everyone that we were going out a couple years earlier when in fact we hadn't. Not physical bullying mind you, but verbally and emotionally. Which is just as bad. Things did not end well for her. hammerNspiKe
I was young....
Like many in the comments, I just didn't know what was right and wrong (I was really young). My teacher came up to me and told me that three parents had complained about me (I was 9). It made me really upset and I went home and cried about it. Didn't know who the kids were, all I know is that three different parents all came in and complained about me upsetting their children and to this day I still don't know what I did. TheRopster
My family is just weird...
I literally had no idea I was a bully. My family is pretty rough on each other but in a joking way. People make fun of each other constantly. It took me till I was about sixteen to realize other people didn't work like that and now that my generation is bringing SO's to family parties it's becoming more apparent how weird my family was. Theantsdisagree
I'm just bad.
GiphyThere is no story I just didn't like him. I usually just call him bad names and pushed him and get others to come on my side. but I remember one night when I suddenly hated myself and started crying. So I stopped bullying KMH69420
Bullying can create a cycle of resentment, even as adults we've all experienced something like a bully. So, it's important that we understand that they are people as well, and to try to stop them.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.