People Confess The Food They Can't Buy Because They'll Eat The Whole Thing In One Sitting
Spencer Davis/Unsplash

I cannot be trusted with chocolate marshmallow cookies.

I don't even like marshmallows, but something happens in my brain when I bite into it and I no longer have an ability to say no. It doesn't even matter what brand - could be Mallomars, or pinwheels, or whatever your local store brand is.

Doesn't matter, just put it in the freezer and walk away. It's best you forget about it, because you'll never see the box again.


Reddit user ts_13_ asked:

"What’s a food you can’t buy because you will literally eat the entire thing in one sitting?"

Never. See. The. Cookies. Again.

But I don't feel bad about it, cause I'm absolutely not the only one out here with self control issues. Here are Reddit's snack confessions.

Serving Size

Tortilla Chips GIF by Salsarita's Fresh Mexican GrillGiphy

"Chips."

"The larger size bags are a better value, but I almost always get a small bag. Why? Self-preservation."

"Regardless of how big the bag is, for me the serving size for chips is one bag."

- GrumpyCatStevens

"Same, can’t open a bag of chips/chip-like things (Doritos, Cheetos, etc.) without it being gone and me being full of shame."

"Crunchy, salty, and savory is a deadly combo for me."

- [Reddit]

"Same!"

"The routine is eat half the bag, lie to myself and save the other half for another day…an hour later eat the rest of the bag."

- Ill-Marionberry-9071

Literally Heaven

"Fresh warm French bread that just came out of the bakery"

- Original-Area-8739

"Dude fresh bread straight out the oven is literally heaven. I will eat an entire loaf, I’ve done it before and I'll do it again."

- ts_13_

"I bought a breadmaker at the beginning of the pandemic and man it is dangerous."

"The loaves aren't huge so you can just... eat one. Like a snack loaf."

- bartnet

Addictive Personalities

"Literally anything I slightly like"

"Yes, if I think 'damn these pickles are pretty good' there goes the whole jar PoP jut like that."

"Same with cookies, chips, anything."

- IReallyLiveCorn729

"This is me too."

"Not just cookies and chips and treats, but regular meals too. It's gotten to the point where I only cook bland things because if I make something that tastes good I'll want to eat 3 or 4 helpings that night."

- sedimentary-j

"Most snacks really. I don't have a sensible relationship with food."

- [Reddit]

The Brown Dragon

Happy Get Down GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"Cereal! Omg it’s bad. Specifically Cinnamon Toast Crunch (regular or the churro kind)"

- StreetNext5958

"Someone brought in popcorn at work the other day. All sorts of 'gourmet' versions. One was Cinnamon and Sugar."

"It tasted EXACTLY like Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

"I killed the whole bag. Now I'm shaking. I need more. I'm chasing the brown dragon."

- Element1977

"Omg here in Texas, HEB sells horchata-flavored Rice Krispies. First it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch then it was the churros...now it's these."

"Canela es vida"

- MephistoTheHater

A Fascination With The Frozen

"Popsicles."

"Not the fancy ones, that 3 dollar bag of 24 twin pops. Had my girlfriend come home and see the side table by the couch full of sticks and just shake her head in disappointment at me."

"It's a childhood addiction I'll never shake, I guess."

- kira7setsuna

"One day an old roommate bought a 48 box of ice cream sandwiches then went to the gym."

"By the time he got home I only managed to save him two."

- amplesamurai

"I like to eat all the colors and leave the grape ones , then eat the grape ones repeatedly until my entire mouth has frost bite."

"I've had to go to ER three times because of it and have given myself nerve damage."

- abitheshark

An Animal

"White cheddar popcorn... I turn into an animal"

- Legitimate_Duck6090

"Same. My sister has a video tucked away of me emptying a bag of white cheddar popcorn into my mouth at a stop light while driving. She made sure my husband saw it before we got married."

- Signal-Block-1797

"The amount of SmartFood family-sized bags that I have singlehandedly torn to shreds…"

- SnekBills

More Animals

Hungry John Krasinski GIF by The Animal Crackers MovieGiphy

"Circus Animal cookies with the pink and white frosting."

- FecusTPeekusberg

"If surveyed, I wouldn't even say I liked them and it never occurs to me to buy them. But if they're around, get out of my way!"

- LordPizzaParty

"Have you tried them frozen? Discovered it by accident when I was staying in a place with no AC, and haven’t looked back since"

- HalloIchBinToad

ADHD Obsessions

"Anything I like. I have ADHD and no self control"

- goyourownwayy

"I have ADHD and I obsess over food too! Will eat the same thing for days until I don't like it anymore."

- jellie_99

"The lack of self control is actually the worst."

"I binge food, alcohol, people, until I’ve f*cked up my body, my relationship, my job, or whatever else."

- PinealPunch

Hidden In The Toilet

"Peanut Butter."

"If it's in the house, it CALLS to me, and I am drawn to it like a Siren from Greek mythology."

"When my partner wants to have PB in the house, she literally has to hide it from me. And I've found it a few times, so she has to get REALLY CLEVER every time she gets a new container."

"Last time she hid it in the toilet tank, and I found it because I had to repair the flapper device and found it in there."

- whomp1970

"I found my people. Can’t have it in the house. I will throw it away to save myself from myself."

"Everyone close to me knows it too, cuz I’ll announce it."

"No, no, no, get it out. I won’t stop eating it until it’s gone."

- mach1130

Easter Emergencies

crab GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"I made myself sick on Easter because I ate what turned out to be 11 crab rangoons in one sitting."

"I'm lactose intolerant. They're full of cream cheese."

"Worth it."

- graccha

"I'm allergic to seafood and I am addicted to them. Luckily they're usually made with fake crab..."

- alexopaedia

Delicious Bread

michael cera bread GIFGiphy

"Garlic bread"

- turboultra

"For years, I thought I really liked pasta. But no. It was merely an excuse for the garlic bread."

- eleanor61

" 'Garlic bread is my favorite food. I could honestly eat it for every meal. Or just eat it all the time without even stopping.' — Scott Pilgrim"

- femme_phoenix

"Most addictive substance on Earth hands down"

- Mrs_PigeonPantsago

"I came here to say this."

- haloarh

Oh Oh Black Berry...

"Black berries. I mean, I buy them anyway, but those fuckers are gone once I get my hands on them"

- ClicheRasin

"I tried the Sweet Karoline variety last year and damn if they didn't taste like the ones from my grandparents' yard! Ate a pound over three days, then bought more. Half woman, half berry by the end of the week."

- Jules_Noctambule

"At least those are kinda healthy…"

- ts_13_

"Thus why I still buy them"

- ClicheRasin

Dangerous Little Egg

Cadbury Creme Egg Cat GIFGiphy

"Cadbury mini eggs , they're very crack-adjacent"

- ramz86

"Just reading the name makes my teeth hurt."

"I actually cried one time because I felt so sick from eating too many of them but couldn't stop until the bag was empty. And I was a grown ass adult mom of 4."

"I'm very sad I haven't had any this year."

- dedoubt

"I have found my person. Those things hit so f*cking hard."

- Sorcererstoned

"Crackbury mini eggs"

- r4d1ant

Cheese It Is

"Cheez Its"

- Kailua3000

"Yup, and they make me feel so sh*tty afterwards too."

- YCSMD

"thanks for reminding me, i need to get some cheezits"

- dacoobob

"They are a real treat for me. I don’t buy them often because rare for a box to last longer than 24 hours in my house. It’s just me eating them."

"The other night I had cheezits and wine for dinner and I just can’t do that anymore."

- notstephanie

"Same here. I quit buying those a long time ago…I would sometimes open the box while driving and half the box would be gone by the time I got home."

- crazydoc2008

"Oh I know that feeling lol. 'Let's see how much I got lef-'."

"SHAKE SHAKE"

"Oh no..."

- Kailua3000

Chinese Take Out

Giphy

"Cheap Chinese food that loads up those styrofoam containers."

- ALargeChip

"The more you are left wondering how the place passed their inspection the better it tastes. A place on my way back from work somehow managed to get like a 95 or 96 and has the absolute best honey chicken I've ever had (I'm a sucker for sweet stuff)."

"It's also incredibly cheap. I used to get more than I can eat for like $7 and they only recently increased to around $9. I tip them very well because that stuff is delicious and is worth more than they charge.

- demonmonkey89

"I will eat any/all Pork Fried Rice put in front of me no matter what."

"Its gotta be the sh*tty Americanized version though, the worse it is the better."

- fistymcbuttpuncher

The Name Doesn't Help

"Muddy Buddies. I will devour an entire bag of these like a gluttonous pig"

- rf8350

"My mom makes it homemade and gives me a gallon bag of it every Christmas. It’s usually gone by the 27th."

- JesusWasAUnicorn

"I call that puppy chow over here, but yes very addictive"

- ts_13_

"Crack, I tell you."

- FrenchMartinez

"You should make them yourself even better tasting"

- One-Reveal-2297

Za Time

hungry pizza time GIFGiphy

"PIZZAAAAAAAAA"

- [Reddit]

"Me: I'll just eat half so I have some left overs for tomorrow!"

"Why do I lie to myself? I know I'm gonna eat the whole thing..."

- ChaplnGrillSgt

"Seriously."

"You never feel full on pizza until you finish the entire thing lol"

- Tom38

"Im into fitness..."

"... fitness whole pizza in my mouth!"

- Raptoot83

"Just ate an entire pizza today. Granted it was super thin and probably really 2-3 slices in real pizza terms lol instead of the tiny 8 thin slices I had but still, it was a lot and I had zero self control. Zero"

- Sublime_Dino

Scouts Secret Recipe

Tim Curry Cookie GIF by Extreme ImprovGiphy

"Girl Scout cookies. Have to buy two boxes bc one of them will not make it out of the parking lot."

- dkstr419

"Thin mints and a quart of milk. Isn’t a sleeve 1 serving?"

- chonks1985

"well, to be fair, they're only a single serving box"

- chileheadd

"Tagalongs you open a box and it’s empty."

"Every damn time"

"A box lasts 10 minutes once it has been opened"

- satanmat2

"The shortbread cookies could kill my entire family and I’d still come back 😩"

- [Reddit]

Fancy Cheese With Fancy Bread

"BRIE AND BAGUETTE"

- ACcatlady

"muffled sounds of sandwichy enjoyment"

- DRGHumanResources

"Brie, fresh baguette and fig or pear preserve is an even superior combo!!"

- meriboo

"One summer I spent six weeks camping around Humboldt County."

"Baguette, brie, smoked salmon, red wine. Pretty much every night. I regret nothing."

- fuck_huffman

"This was dinner in our household tonight! No words spoken about…we just silently demolished it and understood it was dinner."

"For dessert we added peach jelly."

- seoDenOsA

Alright foodies, you're up.

Go ahead and confess your snack sins. You're clearly among friends here.

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