People Share The Dumbest Things They've Done That Have Made Them Question Their Own Intelligence

Sometimes you walk through life thinking, "I got this!"
This is not one of those times. This is one of those times where you walk through life going "How the eff did I make it out of bed today?"
u/d3dni asked:
Here were some of those answers.
Spelling And Cooking Don't Mix
I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled "mom" and I ordered one "o" and two "m" cookie cutters
Water Under The Sea
I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air... I'm 25
Smoosh
Once I picked up a lemon, wondered "do lemons bounce?", and immediately threw it on the ground.
It was the last lemon.
They don't bounce.
Too Many Keys
I've lived at my house for half a decade and I still get mixed up on which way the key goes in the front door. I'm starting to wonder if I should get tested.
Just Can't Stop
I've stapled my thumb at least once a year from grade six to second year university. The first stapling was because I was showing my friends how my classmate stapled his thumb and the rest of the staplings were from demonstrating to various people how I had previously stapled my thumb.
Hot N Painty
I have 2 stories.
When I was 7 I went outside to play and noticed a blueberry in the front lawn. Of course I pick it up and eat it. It was a paint ball and I instantly regret everything.
When I was 6 I made a bowl of ramen noodles but didnt notice it was a spicy flavor. I put the bowl in the fridge and came back to it a few hours later. It was still spicy and I was very confused. Hot =/= spicy
Hooked
Granted I was young, but in the fifth grade I recall being stung by a wasp and my mother got out an epi-pen just in case I had an allergic reaction to the sting. I didn't and I was fine, but my curiosity got the better of me. Later that night I knew where the epi-pen was, and I wanted to know how big the needle was in case I ever had to actually use it (I had a big fear of needles, guess I just was hoping it was a small needle lol). Anyway, I went to take a look (not knowing how an epi-pen worked) and when I clicked the button the needle when straight into my thumb, bone and everything.
(For anyone that doesn't know, epi-pens shoot adrenaline basically into you which helps combat allergic reactions, and the "button" I pushed is what actually deploys the needle and it's spring loaded so it's pretty powerful). So here I am screaming because there is a NEEDLE THROUGH MY THUMB (and also the junk in the needle is making my heart go crazy.)
I asked my sister to help me get it out but it was so far in that she could not pull it out no matter how hard she tried. When I found my parents outside my dad was able to yoink it outta my thumb bone, it couldn't come out because it bent like a fish hook in the bone of my thumb. In the end I was fine, but it freaked the hell outta me and my parents.
Not Far Enough
In 5th grade we watched a video in class about this kid who carved an elaborate wooden boat, and he burnt a message on the side that asked whoever finds this boat, please return it on its journey to the ocean. He places boat in a creek. It drifts off down stream. The video follows the boats journey where a boy finds it stuck in branches hanging in water. He puts it back into the current. It goes to a river. Bigger river and eventually after a few human encounters, it makes it to the ocean. So....
I was inspired. But didn't live near a creek. My brilliant idea was to make a few paper airplanes. I had just learned a cool new design. I finish one. I write on the side... "If anyone finds this, please throw it back into the sky so it can reach the ocean." Went to front porch and reared back and threw it.
It went 6 feet and nose dived onto the driveway. Picked it up. Threw it again. It looped and fell 2 feet from me. I grabbed it, crumpled it up and remember saying to myself, what the heck were you thinking?
Whoopsie Daisy
So I was standing outside of a bar in the middle of winter (a little tipsy) and I went to kick the snow off my boots. Because of the icy ground I ended up kicking my feet out from under myself. My legs shot up over my head like I was a cartoon character. Lots of laughs were had. I hate the snow.
All The Same
Just today
I'm in control of ordering and stocking medical supplies for my clinic
I unstacked 20-25 cases of saline with the intent to rotate stock so it won't expire
Once I finished stacking the new delivery (40boxes) and began stacking the older stock on top I realized they all had the same expiration date Oct/2020
I'm an idiot
Going Up?
At my apartment complex, the doors are all different. When you're opening the door in the garage, the key goes up, when you're coming in from the street, the key goes down. It drove me so crazy for a while, I felt like I was going literally insane because I couldn't remember which was which.
Calc Damage
I wrote [2+2] to my calculator during a statistics exam and before I pressed [=] I uttered "oh."
Not because I found out the answer, but because of the realization that I may have some kind of brain damage.
Funny thing is i had a problem once on an exam that was similar to this, I knew the answer because it was obvious, but I still used the calculator because I ain't trusting my brain lol...
Stupid receipt.
Bought a can of coke, walked out of the store with the receipt in my other hand. Immediately tossed the coke in the deepest trash can ever. Stupid receipt. :(
This reminds me of a video I saw once where a woman was feeding ducks by a dock with the bread in one hand and her phone in the other. You can see where this is going.
Hand Seared
One time I didn't want to dirty a plate to heat up my doughnut in the microwave, so I thought for a moment with myself I should try and just hold it in my hand while it cooked in there.
Beyond the SIlence
Searching for my phone when getting out of the car while on the phone. Then telling your phone on the wire you can't find you phone..... The silence was deafening.
If it helps you feel better, my friend did that once, while I was next to her, and I helped her look for her phone. Her mom was laughing at us on the phone.
Protein Add ON
Very nearly tried to stop a blender blade with my fingers.
You mean to say you nearly added too much protein to your smoothie.
High Time
I once was going to microwave water to make tea, I put an empty mug in the microwave with no water in it and I microwaved it.
Same! But I remembered to add a tea bag...the smell of that burn will never go away!
A walk off
I once opened the washer to get the clothes, but got sidetracked by my dogs wanting to go out. When I came back in, I turned the dryer on and went about my business. Came back an hour later to fold them and the dryer was empty.
Give me Light!!
Spent almost 10 minutes looking for my phone. Using it's light because it's dark. As if it wasn't bad enough to realize I was using my phone to look for my phone, I'm alone at the house. Why didn't I turn on the lights??
u/Mando_calrissian423 commented the same thing below.
A lot of people make that kind of mistake once in a while. Just recently my phone 'disappeared', because I put it under a piece of paper for absolutely no reason and I spent way too much time looking for it everywhere except my room.
Once I also left it in one of the cabins of my bathroom for some reason.
Damn Auto
I argued with an English teacher that it was spelt 'expresso' purely because I spelt it wrong once and autocorrect never corrected me.
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Wire Crossing
I threw an entire glass of milk in the recycling instead of the empty carton I just poured it out.
Having trash in one hand and freshly prepared food in the other is never a good recipe to start with. Just... the wires in your brain switch for a moment.
Why Am I Like This?
I spent a good 5 minutes looking for my soccer bag that was in my hand the entire time.
Every so often when I'm driving, I'll siddey check my pockets for my belongings. And for a moment I'll think, "crap do I have my keys?" Then I feel really dumb for a bit.
Finger Navigation
When I'm at a gas station I usually take a minute to grab trash out of my car, except that I'm always holding important things in my hands too. So I have to navigate which fingers to move to throw away the Red Bull can, receipt, business card, straw paper and not my keys, phone, and wallet.
Volume Drop
I turn the the music down in my car when sometimes when I'm trying to turn on the air.
Your brain has a processing load limit, like a computer. So turning off music when you need to focus on something else frees up processing power.
Avocado Danger
Once when I worked at a Chipotle I was making guacamole. I had been employed there for about 2 years at this point, so I was going through the motions, tired as all hell, get about half way through scooping the avocados out of the skin, (about 24 of them), and looked down to see all the skins in the giant bowl in front of me, and all the avocado in trash can directly to my right. Covered in the blood from all of the steak and chicken I had marinated about 30 minutes prior.
༎ຶ‿༎ຶKnob Control
I am a baker at a local cafe' today I burnt the same thing 3 times because I had the oven set to 350 instead of 300. Whoops.
My roommate was making bacon in the oven.
- Set the heat to broil instead of bake. Which wouldn't be a problem except broil defaults to 650 degrees.
- Set the timer to 3 hours instead of 30 minutes.
- Forgot to actually turn the oven on.
This is the same thing that decided to use my very nice teflon pan to actually fry a grilled cheese and then forgot to turn the heat off.
It's so damn hard to get burned carbon off teflon without scratching it to hell.
Back to 8
Google the definition of a simple word. It's like when in maths exam I check in the calculator if 3+5 is still equals 8. I keep doing this all the time.
Well come January 4th, from 10:32 am to 10:43 am, 3+5 will temporarily equal 7. So keep that in mind for any exams. Afterwards it will go back to 8.
It's due to something called temporal balancing.
Thank you Sonicare....
I was 16 and had a Brand spanking new Sonicare toothbrush. I was going about my daily, morning brush and was getting VERY aggressive in my side to side brushing to REALLY get in deep and in a moment I opened my mouth just a little too wide...
I proceed to aggressively brush my left eyeball in one swift movement.
I remember trying to put the toothbrush back in my mouth before the searing hot, BLINDING (literally) pain made me drop my toothbrush in unison with my VERY loud yelp.
After my dad stopped crying from laughter for what felt like 10 minutes, I washed my eyeball with clean cool water for about half an hour and though my eye was red for a week, I suffered no permanent long term damage
Except for my pride.
Keep It
Pulled into McDonald's, ordered my food, paid for my food, then promptly drove off without my food. I've done this twice. Having to go in to get my food after that is embarrassing. It's my walk of shame.
My mom has done this a few times lol. She gets embarrassed having to go in and tell them too. Thank goodness she realized it very soon after she drove off.
Eat Up
I once prepared a sandwich to pack in my lunch for the next day. Then I immediately absentmindedly ate that sandwich.
Dial
I was browsing through my phone when I asked myself something and thought "I'll just check on my phone" and, then, reached for my pocket. My heart skipped a beat as I couldn't feel my phone in my pocket (which obviously couldn't be there because I'm holding the freaking thing in my hand!) and then I realized how surprisingly dumb we, humans, can be in just a few seconds.
Seasonal Van Issues
During the winter I'll leave my car running while I run inside to grab anything, then spend an extra 5 minutes looking for my car keys before I go outside.
Depends on ventilation around where the car is and weather conditions.
I work with vans, and we had to remind drivers to switch off the engines of their vans as soon as they came in because where we loaded them was under a canopy with really bad ventilation.
The carbon dioxide would very quickly build up and some of the staff would complain about being light headed.
So yeah, if your car is in a garage or something, I can totally believe this (not to mention that that is literally a method used to kill yourself).
Do What?
While attempting to microwave something, the screen kept saying "do or". I spent about 5 minutes questioning " do or what???" Before realizing it was telling me to close the microwave door.
Truly my lowest point.
To Me
I once sent a Fedex, priority, to myself.
I wrote my info in the 'to' section.
Jump and punch it full force....
I was cooking some fish when the smoke detector in my apartment went off. I was cooking on one too many pans at once so I was flustered already, but then I wasn't able to locate the smoke detector because I had just moved in. I was frantically looking for the thing with pans boiling over in the background. When I finally found it in the hallway my gut reaction was to... jump and punch it full force.
It didn't go quiet but my knuckles got bloodied up quite nicely. I looked at my hands in amusement and just stood there dumbfounded at myself for a few seconds before finally doing the logical thing and pressing the button which shuts off the alarm.
being 13
One time when I was 13, I held my phone over a well just because I could, then I accidentally bumped it against something and it fell in. I felt like a complete dolt and an absolute cretin.
Your phone died thinking it was murdered.
Squish
Squeezing a squeaky toy in one ear to see if the sound would go out the other.
Ready to Save You... Eventually
My boss told me to register and pay for a CPR class online and then take a photo of the front and back of the card and submit to her. She meant the certification card, not my credit card. I was brand new! I chalk it up to nerves and anxiety. My brain wasn't ready. I was promoted eventually.
Zoom In
I was reading a magazine the other day and wanted to see a picture more clearly and tried to pinch-zoom with my fingers... this was not the first time I've done that.
Still
Got trapped once because the button to open the automatic door wasn't working.
Forgot that you could still manually open the door.
Stood there like an idiot for 5 minutes and texted a friend (who was nearby) for help.
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Enflamed
Had a roommate deep frying some chicken tenders in a saucepan. It was boiling out of control and I grabbed it and ran outside, where it was raining to dump it out. It burst into flames and I almost caught myself on fire.
Braking Along....
I tried to tow my friend's truck using my truck and a towing strap. Hooked everything up. I got in my truck and he got in my passenger seat and off we went. The first moment I had to brake, which was like 20 feet I realized he should of been in his truck, braking along with me.
Teawise
I put my tea into the microwave for 2:00. The handle was on the right at the beginning. I became pissed that the handle ended up facing away from me every time. It took 8 or 10 tries before I wised up... sigh.
Less Than
Reject something because it's less than I expected, leaving empty handed when I could have at least gotten something partial.
It's even worse because I've done it several times already, it's like I just can't figure out that something, even if small and insufficient, is better than absolute nothingness.
Ashes & Pop
Once poured a can of soda into the kitchen garbage can, and emptied my ashtray into a glass of ice.
Cycled Back
I left my brother's new house, we both live on exits to the same canal but 13.5 K apart. I cycled out to him had three or four beers and left to go home. I start cycling and it seemed to be going on forever but it was a nice evening and I was tipsy listening to music. Next thing I see is Leixlip station and realize I've gone 8 K in the wrong direction. By the time I made it back to my brothers exit I had cycled 16 K of a 13.5k journey and still had 13.5k to go.
Debt Collector
I took a loan on a car at the age of 19. Then traded that car for a new one and increased the loan. Now I'm in debt and can't go into school until my loan is paid off. I've been trying to sell the car for almost a year but since (not US or UK or any 1st world country) we are having very good economic times, nobody is buying used cars that are newer than 3 years. Yay.
to ascend
We were Christmas shopping at the mall and the escalators were out of order. We spent ages hunting around for a fire escape or elevator because we forgot you can just walk up them.
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People Confess The Food They Can't Buy Because They'll Eat The Whole Thing In One Sitting
I cannot be trusted with chocolate marshmallow cookies.
I don't even like marshmallows, but something happens in my brain when I bite into it and I no longer have an ability to say no. It doesn't even matter what brand - could be Mallomars, or pinwheels, or whatever your local store brand is.
Doesn't matter, just put it in the freezer and walk away. It's best you forget about it, because you'll never see the box again.
Reddit user ts_13_ asked:
"What’s a food you can’t buy because you will literally eat the entire thing in one sitting?"
Never. See. The. Cookies. Again.
But I don't feel bad about it, cause I'm absolutely not the only one out here with self control issues. Here are Reddit's snack confessions.
Serving Size
"Chips."
"The larger size bags are a better value, but I almost always get a small bag. Why? Self-preservation."
"Regardless of how big the bag is, for me the serving size for chips is one bag."
- GrumpyCatStevens
"Same, can’t open a bag of chips/chip-like things (Doritos, Cheetos, etc.) without it being gone and me being full of shame."
"Crunchy, salty, and savory is a deadly combo for me."
- [Reddit]
"Same!"
"The routine is eat half the bag, lie to myself and save the other half for another day…an hour later eat the rest of the bag."
- Ill-Marionberry-9071
Literally Heaven
"Fresh warm French bread that just came out of the bakery"
- Original-Area-8739
"Dude fresh bread straight out the oven is literally heaven. I will eat an entire loaf, I’ve done it before and I'll do it again."
- ts_13_
"I bought a breadmaker at the beginning of the pandemic and man it is dangerous."
"The loaves aren't huge so you can just... eat one. Like a snack loaf."
- bartnet
Addictive Personalities
"Literally anything I slightly like"
"Yes, if I think 'damn these pickles are pretty good' there goes the whole jar PoP jut like that."
"Same with cookies, chips, anything."
- IReallyLiveCorn729
"This is me too."
"Not just cookies and chips and treats, but regular meals too. It's gotten to the point where I only cook bland things because if I make something that tastes good I'll want to eat 3 or 4 helpings that night."
- sedimentary-j
"Most snacks really. I don't have a sensible relationship with food."
- [Reddit]
The Brown Dragon
"Cereal! Omg it’s bad. Specifically Cinnamon Toast Crunch (regular or the churro kind)"
- StreetNext5958
"Someone brought in popcorn at work the other day. All sorts of 'gourmet' versions. One was Cinnamon and Sugar."
"It tasted EXACTLY like Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
"I killed the whole bag. Now I'm shaking. I need more. I'm chasing the brown dragon."
- Element1977
"Omg here in Texas, HEB sells horchata-flavored Rice Krispies. First it was Cinnamon Toast Crunch then it was the churros...now it's these."
"Canela es vida"
- MephistoTheHater
A Fascination With The Frozen
"Popsicles."
"Not the fancy ones, that 3 dollar bag of 24 twin pops. Had my girlfriend come home and see the side table by the couch full of sticks and just shake her head in disappointment at me."
"It's a childhood addiction I'll never shake, I guess."
- kira7setsuna
"One day an old roommate bought a 48 box of ice cream sandwiches then went to the gym."
"By the time he got home I only managed to save him two."
- amplesamurai
"I like to eat all the colors and leave the grape ones , then eat the grape ones repeatedly until my entire mouth has frost bite."
"I've had to go to ER three times because of it and have given myself nerve damage."
- abitheshark
An Animal
"White cheddar popcorn... I turn into an animal"
- Legitimate_Duck6090
"Same. My sister has a video tucked away of me emptying a bag of white cheddar popcorn into my mouth at a stop light while driving. She made sure my husband saw it before we got married."
- Signal-Block-1797
"The amount of SmartFood family-sized bags that I have singlehandedly torn to shreds…"
- SnekBills
More Animals
"Circus Animal cookies with the pink and white frosting."
- FecusTPeekusberg
"If surveyed, I wouldn't even say I liked them and it never occurs to me to buy them. But if they're around, get out of my way!"
- LordPizzaParty
"Have you tried them frozen? Discovered it by accident when I was staying in a place with no AC, and haven’t looked back since"
- HalloIchBinToad
ADHD Obsessions
"Anything I like. I have ADHD and no self control"
- goyourownwayy
"I have ADHD and I obsess over food too! Will eat the same thing for days until I don't like it anymore."
- jellie_99
"The lack of self control is actually the worst."
"I binge food, alcohol, people, until I’ve f*cked up my body, my relationship, my job, or whatever else."
- PinealPunch
Hidden In The Toilet
"Peanut Butter."
"If it's in the house, it CALLS to me, and I am drawn to it like a Siren from Greek mythology."
"When my partner wants to have PB in the house, she literally has to hide it from me. And I've found it a few times, so she has to get REALLY CLEVER every time she gets a new container."
"Last time she hid it in the toilet tank, and I found it because I had to repair the flapper device and found it in there."
- whomp1970
"I found my people. Can’t have it in the house. I will throw it away to save myself from myself."
"Everyone close to me knows it too, cuz I’ll announce it."
"No, no, no, get it out. I won’t stop eating it until it’s gone."
- mach1130
Easter Emergencies
"I made myself sick on Easter because I ate what turned out to be 11 crab rangoons in one sitting."
"I'm lactose intolerant. They're full of cream cheese."
"Worth it."
- graccha
"I'm allergic to seafood and I am addicted to them. Luckily they're usually made with fake crab..."
- alexopaedia
Alright foodies, you're up.
Go ahead and confess your snack sins. You're clearly among friends here.
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We all did wild things when we were young. Many of us still do wild things now.
Some of these actions were against the rules. Other actions weren't exactly banned but were frowned upon. And some actions were so crazy, no one thought about having a rule against them at first.
Sometimes, we do something so out of the ordinary that a rule is created so it won't happen again. These are often the best stories.
That's probably why Redditor TheBlackTemplar125 asked:
"What rules were put in place because of you?"
As expected, the answers held some great stories.
Making A Career Out Of It
"In middle school i would use sharpies to tattoo myself, other kids thought it was cool so i started charging $1 per drawing wherever they wanted. Principal found out and after i wouldn’t stop, she put a ban on sharpies for the entire school. even the teachers couldn’t bring them in. i’m a tattoo artist now."
– Orbitalconfusion
Reversing The Joke
"In history class in high school, there was about 10 of us really close friends. We would take every opportunity to make “your mom” jokes. A couple months into class the teacher made us sign a “treaty” promising to stop making fun of each other’s moms. We signed it, and started making fun of each other’s dads."
– MoreMegadeth
Dads Change Diapers Too
"I got the Ryan’s Steak House buffets in Louisville, KY to put baby changing stations in the men’s bathrooms back in the 90’s."
– middleagethreat
"I did the same with a large craft supply store in Canada called Michaels after my first daughter was born and I had to change her diaper in the womens washroom. One message and they were installed within a week or two. I was really impressed with how quickly they took action."
"My daughter is almost 8 and I just told her last week that the change table in the mens room was because of her while we were shopping to make a mother's day present."
– batman1285
Get Out Of School For Free
"My elementary school was located in the center of the neighborhood, and my 5th grade class was the first to get outdoor trailers for classrooms. We'd ask for bathroom passes and then walk home. Next year they built a fence around the school"
– YT4000
Fire In A Crowded Hotel
"I put a croissant in one of those hotel toasters. It soon became engulfed in flames and needed extinguishing. Next day at breakfast they made a sign that said “if you’d like your croissant toasted, please ask a member of staff”"
– thatbitchlol
One Evil Over The Other
"No typewriters in class."
"I was kind of a shit kid and while my school allowed us to use laptops, I would play videogames. Primarily Warcraft 3. In class. No sound or anything so I wasn't being a complete nuisance, but I wasn't doing my work."
"A teacher told me I couldn't use my laptop."
"I happened to have a 1950's Remington Quiet-Riter portable, all-mechanical typewriter. It was anything but quiet, with all of the TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA TAKKA... DING! you'd expect from a typewriter."
"After one full day of studiously taking notes and doing my assignments via typewriter, my teacher said I could use my laptop as long as I didn't bring the typewriter to class."
– HelpfulCherry
The Chicken On Fire
"Military school I went to. After me, an adult is required to check the parade cannon to ensure it is clear, and closely monitor the students as they load it."
"There is to never be another flaming rubber chicken flying over the parade grounds ever again. Circa 1989."
– RjBass3
"Freakin legend!"
– TheeDynamikOne
Changing The Curriculum
"English Media class in Highschool. End of year project was to film a movie. Me and 3 other guys decided to film a “gangster movie”. Long story short, while filming the final shoot out scene behind a local post office, we were swarmed by police and almost got shot. One of the guys got arrested and my teacher almost got fired."
"The following year, the curriculum was changed and the final project was now an essay to be completed on a popular movie."
– Maximo-One
Only Certain Gods Allowed
"freshman year of high school, I had to give an oral presentation on a random Greek god. this was at a Christian school, for context. I got Dionysus, so naturally I spent many hours researching on YouTube how to act drunk (wasn't much of a partier, so I didn't know) and pretended to be absolutely wasted for my presentation. it was a great success but my teacher unsurprisingly banned Dionysus for the following years. it didn't help that Dionysus was basically the god of orgies and bestiality too, if I remember correctly"
– nadirbahama
"Oh man, that teacher f@#$&?d up. How does a teacher assign a project on Dionysus without realizing what the material would be like? The dude was basically the Greek god of crazy parties."
– Suspicious_Duty7434
Road Deaf Traveled
"Finally I get to add a personal story to Reddit. When I was walking home from school, I had to walk next to the road to get to my house. I decided to see if I could walk with my eyes closed."
"I didn’t feel the transition from gravel to road, and the cars didn’t honk at me (as they made a line), because they thought I was deaf. I heard a noise, looked back, and ran off the street into an orchard."
"Two weeks later, they put up Deaf Child Area signs on both sides of the road I live on."
– AlbusLumen
"Why would they have thought you were deaf if your eyes were closed…?"
– angel-aura
"This is my favorite because your eyes were closed and they put up deaf child signs. There goes a goofy but regular child, the cause of all this."
– saturnspritr
That last one was too funny!
Rules are created for various reasons, but sometimes they lead to some great memories.
When I was a kid, I decided to learn to be ambidextrous. I either handed in papers that were illegible or took forever to finish an assignment trying to write neatly with my left hand that my teacher eventually made a rule that only kids who are left-handed could write with their left hand!
It made me angry back then, but now, just like these other Redditors, I have a good story to tell!
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Have you ever been arrested for something and thought... "well this is just silly?"
Yes we need laws and rules, but let's be honest a lot of "crimes" need to be re-examined.
Or maybe I just want to be naughty.
All kidding aside, too many people are sitting in jails for crimes that make no sense.
It's not right.
One Redditor wanted to hear about what illegal activities we'd love to indulge in. They asked:
"If you had to legalize a crime, what would it be?"
Shoplifting and weed. Let's start there.
Fishy
"Being able to walk with a salmon suspiciously."
YorkshireCat
"The Salmon Act of 1986 made it illegal in England, Wales, and Scotland to 'handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.'”
water_fountain_
Exercise
"I’d legalize putting bikes in pools in California."
Wolfiye11
"Honestly, water biking is a great exercise and should totally be legal everywhere."
TheTrueGoldenboy
"Ding ding ding! you win!"
alemini_
Hey Spud
"Selling Unlicensed potatoes."
williamfvirgil
"As a potato myself, I agree."
CaliforniaPotato
B4TTLESNAKE
Speak Loud!
"The UK government has effectively banned protests so I'm gonna go for that."
YumYumFunTown
"here’s an article that explains it a bit. basically over here the police will now have more power to control protests. they can impose more measures, make sure people are ‘not being loud’ etc."
scseven
"Yeah super glad America doesn't have that. Right to protest is in our DNA. No matter how annoying, it’s necessary."
MRmandato
by death
"Executing politicians for treason for any crimes or abuses of power while in office. Iirc treason and sabotage are both punishable by death according to the constitution."
moldyhotdogs
Salmon? Really? Can I carry tuna or a nice cut of mahi?
Cheers all Day
"The ability to purchase alcohol at any hour of day, on any day of the week. How many of you have gone out late at night to buy beer only to be turned away because the alcohol section is closed, or not being able to buy any at all on Sunday? (in some places)."
isabellemwilliams
It's Food
"Feeding homeless people."
Breadflat17
"I am guessing it is to discourage some psychos from feeding them sh*t (both metaphorical and literal). Reddit taught me about a cop, who gave a homeless guy a literal crap sandwich."
Sandybat
"It keeps people from poisoning them."
derpygamer2142
Incredible
"Magic mushrooms."
ReallyDontWant2Argue
"I was enrolled in a clinical trial using psilocybin as a treatment for depression. After decades of treatment resistant depression, I'm depression-free. Even if it's temporary, I'm so grateful and I can't wait until everyone has access to this incredible drug."
Torontopup6
"I am hoping that weed legalization can open the doors for mushrooms."
MusicianMadness
Bringing the End
"I know it's controversial, but I would say Euthanasia (for very bad illnesses and elderly, if they're miserable and don't want to go on anymore). Afaik it is legal in some countries, such as Switzerland. Just wanted to add I'm not American and therefore can't relate to all the comments telling me about situations in US states, but don't get me wrong, it's interesting nonetheless. :) "
wurzlsep
Sex
"Sex work. I'm not interested in it, but it appears to be an arbitrary law that would be a waste of time to enforce."
"Adults can have sex for money in front of the camera for all to see, but once the camera is removed, it becomes illegal? It doesn't make much sense. The only reason it's illegal, I believe, is that the government hasn't found a method to tax it."
corneliatdyer
Sex work is real work. Let these people be.
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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