Sometimes you walk through life thinking, "I got this!"
This is not one of those times. This is one of those times where you walk through life going "How the eff did I make it out of bed today?"
Redditor d3dni asked:
"Hey Redditors, what's something that you've done that's so dumb that you question your own intelligence?"
Here were some of those answers.
Spelling And Cooking Don't Mix
will smith cooking GIFGiphy"I wanted to make cookies for my mom that spelled "mom" and I ordered one "o" and two "m" cookie cutters."
CichaelMlifford
Water Under The Sea
"I realized this year that pufferfish fill themselves with water when they expand instead of air... I'm 25."
Dane_Gleessak
Smoosh
"Once I picked up a lemon, wondered "do lemons bounce?", and immediately threw it on the ground."
"It was the last lemon."
"They don't bounce."
evandolajakulater
Too Many Keys
"I've lived at my house for half a decade and I still get mixed up on which way the key goes in the front door. I'm starting to wonder if I should get tested."
ShoddyBiscotti1
Just Can't Stop
office space stapler GIFGiphy"I've stapled my thumb at least once a year from grade six to second year university. The first stapling was because I was showing my friends how my classmate stapled his thumb and the rest of the staplings were from demonstrating to various people how I had previously stapled my thumb."
punkterminator
Hot N Painty
"I have 2 stories."
"When I was 7 I went outside to play and noticed a blueberry in the front lawn. Of course I pick it up and eat it. It was a paint ball and I instantly regret everything."
"When I was 6 I made a bowl of ramen noodles but didnt notice it was a spicy flavor. I put the bowl in the fridge and came back to it a few hours later. It was still spicy and I was very confused. Hot =/= spicy"
xXDevious
Hooked
"Granted I was young, but in the fifth grade I recall being stung by a wasp and my mother got out an epi-pen just in case I had an allergic reaction to the sting. I didn't and I was fine, but my curiosity got the better of me. Later that night I knew where the epi-pen was, and I wanted to know how big the needle was in case I ever had to actually use it (I had a big fear of needles, guess I just was hoping it was a small needle lol). Anyway, I went to take a look (not knowing how an epi-pen worked) and when I clicked the button the needle when straight into my thumb, bone and everything."
"(For anyone that doesn't know, epi-pens shoot adrenaline basically into you which helps combat allergic reactions, and the "button" I pushed is what actually deploys the needle and it's spring loaded so it's pretty powerful). So here I am screaming because there is a NEEDLE THROUGH MY THUMB (and also the junk in the needle is making my heart go crazy.)"
"I asked my sister to help me get it out but it was so far in that she could not pull it out no matter how hard she tried. When I found my parents outside my dad was able to yoink it outta my thumb bone, it couldn't come out because it bent like a fish hook in the bone of my thumb. In the end I was fine, but it freaked the hell outta me and my parents."
ErythematousRat
Not Far Enough
"In 5th grade we watched a video in class about this kid who carved an elaborate wooden boat, and he burnt a message on the side that asked whoever finds this boat, please return it on its journey to the ocean. He places boat in a creek. It drifts off down stream. The video follows the boats journey where a boy finds it stuck in branches hanging in water. He puts it back into the current. It goes to a river. Bigger river and eventually after a few human encounters, it makes it to the ocean. So...."
"I was inspired. But didn't live near a creek. My brilliant idea was to make a few paper airplanes. I had just learned a cool new design. I finish one. I write on the side... "If anyone finds this, please throw it back into the sky so it can reach the ocean." Went to front porch and reared back and threw it."
"It went 6 feet and nose dived onto the driveway. Picked it up. Threw it again. It looped and fell 2 feet from me. I grabbed it, crumpled it up and remember saying to myself, what the heck were you thinking?"
Cyrano55
Whoopsie Daisy
santa clarita diet drey barrymore GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"So I was standing outside of a bar in the middle of winter (a little tipsy) and I went to kick the snow off my boots. Because of the icy ground I ended up kicking my feet out from under myself. My legs shot up over my head like I was a cartoon character. Lots of laughs were had. I hate the snow."
revelinravel
All The Same
"Just today"
"I'm in control of ordering and stocking medical supplies for my clinic"
"I unstacked 20-25 cases of saline with the intent to rotate stock so it won't expire"
"Once I finished stacking the new delivery (40boxes) and began stacking the older stock on top I realized they all had the same expiration date Oct/2020"
"I'm an idiot"
Brownale78
Going Up?
door garage GIFGiphy"At my apartment complex, the doors are all different. When you're opening the door in the garage, the key goes up, when you're coming in from the street, the key goes down. It drove me so crazy for a while, I felt like I was going literally insane because I couldn't remember which was which."
Calc Damage
"I wrote [2+2] to my calculator during a statistics exam and before I pressed [=] I uttered "oh."
"Not because I found out the answer, but because of the realization that I may have some kind of brain damage."
AUGUSTBRANDISH
"Funny thing is i had a problem once on an exam that was similar to this, I knew the answer because it was obvious, but I still used the calculator because I ain't trusting my brain lol..."
LukeTheGroundwalker
Stupid receipt.
"Bought a can of coke, walked out of the store with the receipt in my other hand. Immediately tossed the coke in the deepest trash can ever. Stupid receipt. :("
digmalick
"This reminds me of a video I saw once where a woman was feeding ducks by a dock with the bread in one hand and her phone in the other. You can see where this is going."
TheNightSentinels
Hand Seared
"One time I didn't want to dirty a plate to heat up my doughnut in the microwave, so I thought for a moment with myself I should try and just hold it in my hand while it cooked in there."
Beyond the SIlence
"Searching for my phone when getting out of the car while on the phone. Then telling your phone on the wire you can't find you phone..... The silence was deafening."
CanIGetAPaycheckBuff
"If it helps you feel better, my friend did that once, while I was next to her, and I helped her look for her phone. Her mom was laughing at us on the phone."
ScreamingPotoo
Protein Add ON
animation loop GIF by RafaelGiphy"Very nearly tried to stop a blender blade with my fingers."
Owlmoose
"You mean to say you nearly added too much protein to your smoothie."
Forikorder
High Time
"I once was going to microwave water to make tea, I put an empty mug in the microwave with no water in it and I microwaved it."
Comrade_Wolfissimo8
"Same! But I remembered to add a tea bag...the smell of that burn will never go away!"
StrangeConnection
A walk off
"I once opened the washer to get the clothes, but got sidetracked by my dogs wanting to go out. When I came back in, I turned the dryer on and went about my business. Came back an hour later to fold them and the dryer was empty."
BustAMove_13
Give me Light!!
"Spent almost 10 minutes looking for my phone. Using it's light because it's dark. As if it wasn't bad enough to realize I was using my phone to look for my phone, I'm alone at the house. Why didn't I turn on the lights??"
a_bizz
"A lot of people make that kind of mistake once in a while. Just recently my phone 'disappeared', because I put it under a piece of paper for absolutely no reason and I spent way too much time looking for it everywhere except my room."
"Once I also left it in one of the cabins of my bathroom for some reason."
Zeddeling
Damn Auto
"I argued with an English teacher that it was spelt 'expresso' purely because I spelt it wrong once and autocorrect never corrected me."
Pengusta
Wire Crossing
"I threw an entire glass of milk in the recycling instead of the empty carton I just poured it out."
"Having trash in one hand and freshly prepared food in the other is never a good recipe to start with. Just... the wires in your brain switch for a moment."
Melodramallow
Why Am I Like This?
"I spent a good 5 minutes looking for my soccer bag that was in my hand the entire time."
"Every so often when I'm driving, I'll siddey check my pockets for my belongings. And for a moment I'll think, "crap do I have my keys?" Then I feel really dumb for a bit."
Waldolito
Finger Navigation
"When I'm at a gas station I usually take a minute to grab trash out of my car, except that I'm always holding important things in my hands too. So I have to navigate which fingers to move to throw away the Red Bull can, receipt, business card, straw paper and not my keys, phone, and wallet."
Volume Drop
"I turn the the music down in my car when sometimes when I'm trying to turn on the air."
gratefooldread
"Your brain has a processing load limit, like a computer. So turning off music when you need to focus on something else frees up processing power."
Avocado Danger
"Once when I worked at a Chipotle I was making guacamole. I had been employed there for about 2 years at this point, so I was going through the motions, tired as all hell, get about half way through scooping the avocados out of the skin, (about 24 of them), and looked down to see all the skins in the giant bowl in front of me, and all the avocado in trash can directly to my right. Covered in the blood from all of the steak and chicken I had marinated about 30 minutes prior."
༎ຶ‿༎ຶKnob Control
I am a baker at a local cafe' today I burnt the same thing 3 times because I had the oven set to 350 instead of 300. Whoops.
ihadtopoop-
"My roommate was making bacon in the oven."
- "Set the heat to broil instead of bake. Which wouldn't be a problem except broil defaults to 650 degrees."
- "Set the timer to 3 hours instead of 30 minutes."
- "Forgot to actually turn the oven on."
"This is the same thing that decided to use my very nice teflon pan to actually fry a grilled cheese and then forgot to turn the heat off."
"It's so damn hard to get burned carbon off teflon without scratching it to hell."
PolloMagnifico
Back to 8
"Google the definition of a simple word. It's like when in maths exam I check in the calculator if 3+5 is still equals 8. I keep doing this all the time."
Pipelin12
"Well come January 4th, from 10:32 am to 10:43 am, 3+5 will temporarily equal 7. So keep that in mind for any exams. Afterwards it will go back to 8."
"It's due to something called temporal balancing."
KalegNar
Thank you Sonicare....
"I was 16 and had a Brand spanking new Sonicare toothbrush. I was going about my daily, morning brush and was getting VERY aggressive in my side to side brushing to REALLY get in deep and in a moment I opened my mouth just a little too wide..."
"I proceed to aggressively brush my left eyeball in one swift movement."
"I remember trying to put the toothbrush back in my mouth before the searing hot, BLINDING (literally) pain made me drop my toothbrush in unison with my VERY loud yelp."
"After my dad stopped crying from laughter for what felt like 10 minutes, I washed my eyeball with clean cool water for about half an hour and though my eye was red for a week, I suffered no permanent long term damage"
"Except for my pride."
Morganithor
Keep It
"Pulled into McDonald's, ordered my food, paid for my food, then promptly drove off without my food. I've done this twice. Having to go in to get my food after that is embarrassing. It's my walk of shame."
BustAMove_13
"My mom has done this a few times lol. She gets embarrassed having to go in and tell them too. Thank goodness she realized it very soon after she drove off."
Fireyredheadlady
Eat Up
sandwiches GIFGiphy"I once prepared a sandwich to pack in my lunch for the next day. Then I immediately absentmindedly ate that sandwich."
BaudelaireHeHoo
Dial
"I was browsing through my phone when I asked myself something and thought "I'll just check on my phone" and, then, reached for my pocket. My heart skipped a beat as I couldn't feel my phone in my pocket (which obviously couldn't be there because I'm holding the freaking thing in my hand!) and then I realized how surprisingly dumb we, humans, can be in just a few seconds."
Seasonal Van Issues
"During the winter I'll leave my car running while I run inside to grab anything, then spend an extra 5 minutes looking for my car keys before I go outside."
lthmsg
"Depends on ventilation around where the car is and weather conditions."
"I work with vans, and we had to remind drivers to switch off the engines of their vans as soon as they came in because where we loaded them was under a canopy with really bad ventilation."
"The carbon dioxide would very quickly build up and some of the staff would complain about being light headed."
"So yeah, if your car is in a garage or something, I can totally believe this (not to mention that that is literally a method used to kill yourself)."
IndigoMichigan
Do What?
"While attempting to microwave something, the screen kept saying "do or". I spent about 5 minutes questioning " do or what???" Before realizing it was telling me to close the microwave door."
"Truly my lowest point."
LillyUpsideDown
To Me
presents wtf GIFGiphy"I once sent a Fedex, priority, to myself."
"I wrote my info in the 'to' section."
kbutters9
Jump and punch it full force....
"I was cooking some fish when the smoke detector in my apartment went off. I was cooking on one too many pans at once so I was flustered already, but then I wasn't able to locate the smoke detector because I had just moved in. I was frantically looking for the thing with pans boiling over in the background. When I finally found it in the hallway my gut reaction was to... jump and punch it full force."
"It didn't go quiet but my knuckles got bloodied up quite nicely. I looked at my hands in amusement and just stood there dumbfounded at myself for a few seconds before finally doing the logical thing and pressing the button which shuts off the alarm."
HonkForTheDong
being 13
"One time when I was 13, I held my phone over a well just because I could, then I accidentally bumped it against something and it fell in. I felt like a complete dolt and an absolute cretin."
conaar
"Your phone died thinking it was murdered."
ClathanNank
Squish
indonesia hamster GIFGiphy"Squeezing a squeaky toy in one ear to see if the sound would go out the other."
echothemage
Ready to Save You... Eventually
"My boss told me to register and pay for a CPR class online and then take a photo of the front and back of the card and submit to her. She meant the certification card, not my credit card. I was brand new! I chalk it up to nerves and anxiety. My brain wasn't ready. I was promoted eventually."
deuce1028
Zoom In
angry jason terry GIFGiphy"I was reading a magazine the other day and wanted to see a picture more clearly and tried to pinch-zoom with my fingers... this was not the first time I've done that."
Jedisolid
Still
"Got trapped once because the button to open the automatic door wasn't working."
"Forgot that you could still manually open the door."
"Stood there like an idiot for 5 minutes and texted a friend (who was nearby) for help."
IaniteThePirate
Enflamed
"Had a roommate deep frying some chicken tenders in a saucepan. It was boiling out of control and I grabbed it and ran outside, where it was raining to dump it out. It burst into flames and I almost caught myself on fire."
Braking Along....
"I tried to tow my friend's truck using my truck and a towing strap. Hooked everything up. I got in my truck and he got in my passenger seat and off we went. The first moment I had to brake, which was like 20 feet I realized he should of been in his truck, braking along with me."
bullhead_red
Teawise
Sipping Kermit The Frog GIFGiphy"I put my tea into the microwave for 2:00. The handle was on the right at the beginning. I became pissed that the handle ended up facing away from me every time. It took 8 or 10 tries before I wised up... sigh."
KitKeating
Less Than
"Reject something because it's less than I expected, leaving empty handed when I could have at least gotten something partial."
"It's even worse because I've done it several times already, it's like I just can't figure out that something, even if small and insufficient, is better than absolute nothingness."
elSenorMaquina
Ashes & Pop
stressed sylvester the cat GIFGiphy"Once poured a can of soda into the kitchen garbage can, and emptied my ashtray into a glass of ice."
jahnudvipa93
Cycled Back
"I left my brother's new house, we both live on exits to the same canal but 13.5 K apart. I cycled out to him had three or four beers and left to go home. I start cycling and it seemed to be going on forever but it was a nice evening and I was tipsy listening to music. Next thing I see is Leixlip station and realize I've gone 8 K in the wrong direction. By the time I made it back to my brothers exit I had cycled 16 K of a 13.5k journey and still had 13.5k to go."
Doogie34
Debt Collector
"I took a loan on a car at the age of 19. Then traded that car for a new one and increased the loan. Now I'm in debt and can't go into school until my loan is paid off. I've been trying to sell the car for almost a year but since (not US or UK or any 1st world country) we are having very good economic times, nobody is buying used cars that are newer than 3 years. Yay."
botnarin
to ascend
"We were Christmas shopping at the mall and the escalators were out of order. We spent ages hunting around for a fire escape or elevator because we forgot you can just walk up them."
manlikerealities
We can't always be the brightest bulb in our dimmest moments. But at least they make for great stories.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.
