The world of finance is a constant gamble. Algorithms change, dows drops, stocks pivot.... it's a never ending game, more intense and bloody than Game of Thrones and a 007 film. That's why its so important to find and listen to the people who become experts in this field. So why do so many of us gamble with our coins based on our own thoughts? Or intuitions? Especially since most of us never got past Algebra II.Redditor u/weekendbrainsurgeon wanted to hear from those in finance field about bad decisions they've witnessed that we all should never try by asking.... Bankers, Accountants, Financial Professionals, and Insurance Agents of reddit, What's the worst financial decision you've seen a client make?
Tilray Downmickey mouse smh GIF by ABC Network Giphy
I had a client in her 70s put her whole savings in Tilray stock.
Tilray at the time was trading above 150 per share. I told her it was a terrible idea to put all of her savings in one investment but she told me I was wrong. She argued with me for a good 15 minutes until I relented and said okay, it's your money. So she put 300k into Tilray.
Couple weeks later it starts dropping, I call her and get no answer. It's sitting at 6 dollars a share now, her account is down to about 12k. Last time I spoke with her I took no pleasure in telling her she's no longer my client.
The Truth is Out
Had a client who was extremely wealthy about eight years ago tell us he was no longer going to use our services. Last year we get an extremely angry phone call from his wife asking us why we haven't been filing their taxes. We showed her the paperwork where her husband said he was no longer going to use our services. And then crap hit the fan. This dude apparently just decided he wasn't going to pay taxes anymore and didn't file a return for eight years and had been lying to his wife.
They were rich and owed almost 1.4 million dollars in taxes not including interest and penalties. And oh yeah they got absolutely fried by the IRS. If you are in a relationship with someone you need to be involved in financial decisions. Never let one party handle all of the money and make all of the decisions. That is how bad things happen in both business and in relationships.
I had a client Buy numismatic gold coins with an entire retirement account. She bought 266k worth of coins at almost double the price of bullion. I got the gold salesman on the phone and asked him to justify the reasoning and I he said it was because the dollar was paper money and worth nothing and that gold was going to go to 10000 a coin. I asked him what he exchanged this gold for and he said "well she paid me dollars". Then I said "why would you accept a worthless currency for your rapidly appreciating gold currency?" He cursed at me and hung up and said I didn't know what I was talking about.
I still haven't met a gold salesman that can answer this. Their whole pitch is that the dollar isn't worth anything but they happily take them in exchange for gold coins. The whole thing is crap. Poor lady. She can't sell them now even with gold bullion as high as it is for anything close to what she bought them for.
I am a fully registered advisor just to disclose.
600 DownTea Smh GIF by moodman Giphy
Not my client.
Saw a guy invest about 600k in a start-up. He confirmed in the 1.5 pages agreement that he was fully informed about everything going on.
Please if you invest in that size, ask a lawyer to at least review the agreement.
Needless to say, said guy's net worth is 600k less now.
The Accountants Know
If you're a small business owner and your business provides you with even a remotely significant amount of income, then get a separate bank account for your business income and expenses and never, never, never commingle your accounts. If you find that you need to make a business payment and you don't have that money in your business account but you do in your personal, then write it down in your books as money that you give the business that then gets spent on the business expense. Likewise, if you want to use your business income, pay yourself a wage or a 'dividend'. The moment you cross your accounts is the moment that you put yourself into tremendous financial paperwork frustrations.
The Lotto Scam
Former manager at a credit union. One seemingly smart lady in her 70s got one of those lottery scam letters saying she won, but needed to send them money to process her winnings. They kept getting her to send more and more money. We were telling her it was a scam from day 1, but we couldn't stop her.
She burned through her IRA which had about 200k. Took out a loan against her paid off house for another 200k. Sold her jewelry. Probably paid out 500k total before finally realizing.
We truly did everything we could. Got her family involved. Several of us would confront her every time she came in and would plead with her to stop.
It was sad but at some point you have to cut your losses and realize it's a scam.
Edit: I was the assistant manager at that point. We brought our risk management department and other higher ups in but they wouldn't close her account.
The whole 500k was not with us. We had no idea about the loan, jewelry and some money in other accounts that she gave out until after it was all over.
She even thanked us later on and wishes she listened to us.
I've made money with both stocks and options but I get on r/wallstreetbets sometimes to see how tf someone can go tits up so easily and omg.... "I have $50,000 in my account, let me throw 100% of that on Amazon puts that expire Friday." Ive also seen people who pull in $1m in their first year and try to tell everyone else how to trade. That's like me hitting it big on a slot machine and then pretending to be an expert.
Chose HULUcindy brady smh GIF by HULU Giphy
Using ALL of his "retirement" and daughters college tuition to short Netflix. He lost over a million dollars.
Best friend is a CPA, and when he had his own practice, he had some pretty big-name clients (Senators, musicians, pro athletes, etc.) One of the biggest mistakes people made were thinking they were smarter than an accountant. His biggest challenge were the people who heard about the "sovereign citizen" nonsense. To no one's surprise, a random guy on YouTube doesn't know more than an actual CPA with 40+ years experience. At least a few of these new-found "sovereign citizens" ended up doing time for tax evasion.
Just Exerciseworking out richard simmons GIF Giphy
A private company announced a special dividend to all shareholders as of date of record one-month in the future. $1.30/share dividend.
There was an option holder with 300,000 options at a $0.10 strike price.
He did not exercise them. Had he exercised his options for $30,000, he would have been paid $390,000 the following month.
Not an accountant but I used to do Social Work that included some budget coaching. I was going over one family's monthly budget and trying to figure out how they were going to rearrange so they could pay the subsidized $10 copay for court ordered counseling that would make or break them keeping custody of their children. Now, budget was a little tight because only the dad worked. But he was making just under double what I made for helping them with the budget. And they were living in a gross trailer park where they paid next to nothing for rent.
And this was a step up from the gross motel room they had been living in before. And when I was nicely chewing them out for missing a counseling session, they were all too happy to explain the problem. Which, of course, was dad got paid on Thursdays (weekly) and the Counselor had them scheduled for Tuesdays (weekly.) So, there was no way they would have the $10 left to pay the Counselor on Tuesday.
The solution to this was they had to start driving across town to pay the Counselor on payday, and then drive to their (already paid for) session 5 days later. I was just getting my mind wrapped around this concept, when the mom called me all excited. She had fixed their financial problems. She refinanced their (POS 12+ year old) car. And she was so excited to tell me that instead of paying $385 a month, their new payments were only $115 a week. I still have no words.
Send in the Cars
I've seen people finance cars at over 30% interest. paying $500/mo for a 8-year old mustang, and will end up paying well over 2x the cars value, assuming they pay the loan off.
Edit: since this kinda blew up, here's a PSA for all the active duty (American) military people - any loan you took out prior to either enlistment or deployment is eligible to have the rate reduced to either 6.99 or 7.99% (google it before you call your bank, as it's been a couple years and laws change.) all you have to do is call your creditor and provide them with your orders and they have to reduce the rate, even retroactively, to the date you deployed (or enlisted.. again, google it).
Idiots.idiots GIF Giphy
- The client who joined an MLM and racked up half a million dollars worth of losses before finally listening to us and quitting.
- The client who spent $40k on Farmville over 3 months.
- The clients who give their adult children allowances that exceed my salary, fancy cars, and houses without expecting them to ever hold down a job themselves. vwh808
Payroll accountant. I used to work for a company with an actuarial Department. There was a lovely young woman working in the call center with a masters degree in data science. She was constantly talking about how frustrated she was with making $16/hour in a call center when she had a masters degree in data science, yet no matter how many times I told her to apply to the actuarial team she wouldn't do so.
The actuarial team was HUGE about promoting within. I saw many people who wanted to learn more about what they do who had no experience whatsoever get excepted into the team because they wanted to learn. This girl was a shoo-in. And yet she never even tried despite the fact that there were always openings. She also shared with me that she was $180k in debt for that master's degree. Last time I checked in with her she had left the job completely and is now in school for art. (Insert facepalm emoji here.)
But my favorite was before I was even an accountant. I worked for a small CPA firm as a receptionist during tax time. I saw a full-grown woman sit down on the floor and start crying because she owed $900 in taxes that year when she had made about $150k that year. I rolled my eyes so hard that I hurt myself. Later that day I had a guy who owed $750k to the IRS and said "woohoo! That's way less than last year!"
The Lost Seat
Watched a client walk out of my office after I explained the risk in liquidating his 401K to start his own business. He started it with no management experience or business model, real "fly by the seat of his pants" kinda guy. Wanted to start a career flipping houses in a college town, turn them into upscale rentals. Did it in a bad neighborhood and lost EVERYTHING.
I'm a CPA and had a client whose business was going under. He started taking out payday loans on his own salary to pay his staff. When it gets this bad with no end in sight, time to reduce staff.
Also in r/accounting someone posted about wanting to file bankruptcy over $900 in credit card debt. This person was about to graduate college with an accounting degree and would have been making $50k starting out.
We all thought he was trolling us, but somehow ended up coming off as a legitimate situation. Who wants to hire a bankrupt accountant which shows up in background searches?!?!
Simple....Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIF Giphy
Probably not the worst, but one of the more perplexingly common...
Making over $250k (sometimes WELL over), no withholding, not paying estimated taxes throughout the year, can't afford the tax bill with the return EVERY YEAR, then complaining because they can't afford the installment payments on the taxes they owe from two years ago.
Moron, sell your gaudy, gross McMansion, take your teenage daughter's credit card away, let your drunk driving son stay in jail and get a public defender, and tell your horrible wife to stop spending all day at the tennis courts sipping mimosas. Get your mess together and pay taxes throughout the year like the rest of us. You aren't being persecuted by the IRS, you're just an idiot.
Don't Spend It!
I work for a bank. One of our branches had a customer who was basically homeless. Then, he wins the lottery! Over the next few months, the staff watched him come in to withdraw thousands of dollars every day to spend on extravagances. Everyone tried to convince him to sit with a financial advisor to help him make the most of his money. Less than a year later, he's in slightly better shape than when he started; he's at least able to live in the car he bought.
What I've seen, countless times, is someone who started a business with ZERO research, no understanding of what running a business involves. (Here's a hint: practically every business involves paperwork and deadlines.). The business models come in waves... for awhile it was Barbecue shacks, then it was cupcakes, then house flippers, then food trucks. I think they see it being done on TV shows that make it look fun. It isn't fun when they come to me with debt, tax levies and lawsuits.
IRS and state labor department and health department on their backs, and suppliers taking them to court for unpaid bills. Some of them cashed out their retirement account to buy a business; others put their house up as collateral for an SBA loan. it's a nightmare. If they had come to an accountant first, we might be able to help them (or even better, dissuade then). I usually see them after 18-24 months of screw-ups and by then it's usually too late to rescue them.
ATM Issuesmake it rain loop GIF by Chris Timmons Giphy
Banker. Banks charge fees for using other bank's ATMs.
I had a customer that would check his balance and then do withdrawals daily at a foreign ATM. Guy did not have a lot of money to begin with and because he did this, would overdraw his account and get slapped with an overdraft fee which put him in the hole further. We ended up taking away his ability to overdraw his account. Dude was pissed, but it helped right the ship a little.
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.Season 3 Reaction GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
"Do you know who I am!?!"- ThoriumLad.Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
"People who brag about their parents’ money."- SpecialExamination41.Hustling Music Video GIFGiphy
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
“The lights are on but no one’s home.”
Lovemesomecarrotsseason 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_BluesExcited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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