One of my favorite things to do is imagine myself living my best life as a citizen of some fictional world.
What would life be like if I had super powers? Or magic? Or could water-bend?
But with my luck I'd just be a regular-degular-shmegular person surrounded by supers...
Reddit user aggravated_rub_3575 asked:
"If you could choose to live in one fictional universe/world, which one would you choose and why?"
and obviously I'm not the only one to spend time daydreaming about this sort of thing. I'm also not the only one who's pretty sure they're NOT getting whatever fictional world bonuses exist.
Even we power-pessimists have some pretty dope options, though. Take a look!
The Shire
the lord of the rings party GIF
Giphy
"Middle Earth, so I could be in the Shire (except for during the Scourge of course). Seems so unbelievably peaceful to be a hobbit"
- novascotia3898
"Being a hobbit would be great. You live longer, only have to deal with superficial stressors, wizards roll into town like the circus"
- TheExtraMayo
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
- Babstana
"I'd love to party with hobbits in the best years."
- DuncanDickson
"The Shire."
"You farm a little, eat seven times a day, drink ale, and smoke the Hobbits Leaf."
"Maybe have a run in with a wizard, but otherwise, life is peaceful and calm. Your house is built into a hill that's covered in soft, green grass."
- Qu33nM4ry
Statistically A Peasant
fox news GIF
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"Depends if I can choose my role in that world."
"The vast majority of options mean that statistically, I'd be a peasant in terrible conditions worse than my actual life lol."
- dizzlefoshizzle02
"Exactly, I'm loving the super power worlds but would suck if I'm the civilian person"
- NuttyDuckyYT
"Everyone always assumes they get to live like the hero of he story they are entering, but in reality they could get to live as a peasant."
- Hutch25
Only One Answer
Picard Role Model GIF by Star Trek
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"There is only one answer: the Federation in Star Trek is as utopian as it gets (I ignore JJ's Mirror Universes wherever I can)."
"There are little real threats for the federation itself. If you live in a nice place, probably a metropolitan area on Earth or someplace else nice, it is probably as good as it can ever get without becoming a god or something in some other Universe."
"Even if you go to a rural place you have locally so much advanced tech (even in your cottage!) that you're probably far better taken care of than anything we might even imagine today."
"Free time for hobbies en masse, Holodecks, nature, lots of cool people, free high-tier education of all sorts, replicators, spaceflight if you want to go somewhere, absolutely stunning medical care, teleporters connecting major places even cross-continent on a planet, nearly no serious crime, no major wars that threaten the core of it..."
"Sure, it is also not 100% perfect, but probably as perfect as it can get."
"And the important part: it is that for LITERALLY EVERYONE, not just 'Live at Universe X and if you are one of the few Chosen Ones it is awesome.' "
- Deals_With_Dragons
A Peaceful Valley
stardew valley steam GIF
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"Stardew Valley. You get a house and a farm and apparently no bills to pay, which is pretty nice."
"You can work as much or as little as you want. You can fish, farm, mine, or just wander around talking to people. You can even just forage or raid people's garbage cans and sell the items for cash."
"There are monsters and such, but you never die. At the worst, you get knocked out and wake up at home minus fifty coins because I guess they have socialized healthcare or something."
"There are even festivals you can go to. You can even get a pet for free."
- eddyathome
The Last Airbender
Animated GIF
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"Avatar: the Last Airbender. I think infrastructure would be a lot better, and being a bender would be cool in a boring dystopia."
- retinasearedliketuna
"Considering even non-benders can train to be anime character running up walls and doing all sorts of crazy sh*t, I'd still think of it as a complete upgrade."
"A setting where I can literally abandon all human interaction to learn with a sage sounds amazing."
"I wish I could do that in real life sometimes. I'm not religious, but I've seriously considered becoming a friar or someone who lives at a church and leads a very modest life of just helping people."
- Darkwoth81Dyoni
"Just don't become a cabbage merchant."
- Bamboozle_
"My cabbages!"
- Dinokkid
We're Wizards, Harry! But Do We Want To Be?
Sad Harry Potter GIF
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"As a kid I always thought about Harry Potter and the Wizards World it would be fantastic to be a part of it and experience the magic"
- ObjectiveSquirrel820
"Why the hell isn't this the top answer? I had to scroll down so far to find it, because this is obviously the right answer."
"Sure, others sound cool too, but we grew up watching/reading these and it's one of the most popular series in the world because people adore it so much."
"I still hear adults talking about their Hogwarts house, there's a whole ass Harry Potter World, and they even recently built a huge ass multi level store in New York City that sells only Potter merchandise."
"Come on now. We know this is the real answer."
- RynnChronicles
"Oof no thank you. The Wizard world is f*cked up."
"A school, next to an evil forest, where children are regularly killed? Check."
"An inept, corrupt government thoroughly infested with dark wizards, who is the primary employer in the region, with no system of checks or balances other than regular elections? Check."
"A broken legal system with a prison that literally drains your soul, where you can be sent without a trial and without bail for any reason? Check."
"Everybody has easy access to rape drugs and it's perfectly legal to use them? Check."
"Everyone has access to polyjuice potions and can easily impersonate anyone? Check."
"A world where innovation has stagnated because magic solves so many problems, and therefore there hasn't been any real technological progress since the 1700s? Check."
"I mean shit, so many of the problems in Harry Potter could have easily been solved if they just had cell phones. Or, as the meme goes, a freaking gun."
"I could go on. Have fun in the wizarding world, I'm happy being a muggle."
- livious1
The Matrix
Keanu Reeves No GIF
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"This all seems hard, I'm going to stay here and be an accountant."
"Screw it, my fictional universe is The Matrix. But I don't do anything, I just go to work every day in a modern but pre-9/11 world."
- burn-babies-burn
"Lol great answer. We choose the Matrix thinking we will be the next Neo but instead it's just life as usual. I'm laughing too hard at this, thanks for that imagery."
- tykogars
"Can I just be put into the Matrix and not deal with the robots? A peaceful simulation would be nice."
- SwingSoHigh
Well... There's The Whole Dragon Thing...
time feels GIF
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"Skyrim."
"I know everything that's going to happen in almost every quest, I know lore tidbits and facts about Tamriel that even the most learned scholars wouldn't know."
"I've been every type of character from thief to noble warrior, I know how to talk and how to say the right things to the right characters."
"Plus if mods are allowed I have the cheat room, impossible armors, I can save Miraak, I can give myself horns and wings and the character editor would completely eliminate my body dysphoria."
"I use Skyrim as an escapism because I can control almost everything in that world but can control next to nothing in this life so yeah :) "
- SapphicsAndStilettos
Nice, Even As A Regular Citizen
elated twin peaks the return GIF by Twin Peaks on Showtime
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"Anno 2205."
"Life would be great even as a regular citizen. The only things that there really is to object to is a corporation having a private, armed navy, and this same corporation having essentially as much power and influence as a government with its ability to build entire cities and establish colonies on the moon."
"Having said that though, the reality of the situation seems to be that despite all this power and influence, the corporations of Anno 2205 have nothing but utmost respect for the environment."
"They fully embrace automation but create lots of highly skilled jobs and build enormous, aesthetically pleasing (to me anyway) and environmentally friendly cities. They have near limitless ability to abuse and exploit to create the worst cyberpunk dystopia you could ask for, but they have gone in the opposite direction by actively caring for their environment and people."
"The big unknown is what the social and healthcare services are like in these corporate cities and it could go several ways."
"Best case is there is a full social safety net paid for by taxes diligently paid by these megacorps to the remaining governing body due to lessons learned from the previous centuries."
"The worst is that its completely sink or swim. However, it can be assumed that by living in these cities you are guaranteed to have some form of job, but we'll never know for sure."
"The population seems healthy, happy, professionally fulfilled and has come off the cusp of near apocalyptic environmental disaster (from 2070). They've finally cracked Fusion power as well, so from there its only a matter of time (and in fact well within their capability) before they start building starships to build colonies on Mars and the rest of the solar system."
"The main barrier is propulsion technology, but if they can figure out some kind of working EM Drive or even FTL travel then the galaxy is theirs for the taking."
"Being a citizen in Anno 2205 is to be part of a future of incredible technological development and optimism, with plenty of work to be done and no real military threats to worry about as Orbital Watch as a terrorist organization are pretty pathetic."
- Crembels
What's Up, Aslan?
the witch narnia GIF
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"Narnia."
"I'm a zoologist and my job would be a Helluva lot easier if animals could talk."
"Like instead of observing them for months to figure out why they're doing something, I could just go 'Yo, why you doing that?' and they could tell me."
- Frantastic79
I'm not even about to try and lie. My answer was the Shire, but I'm 4'9" (almost 4'11" if my hair is being amazing that day) and I really like plants and food, so I'm pretty much a hobbit already.
Of COURSE I said the Shire.
What about you?
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“I'm from Brazil: Kitchen with island, sinkhole with the garbage disposal, air conditioner everywhere in the house.”
“EDIT: I'm talking about the kitchen sinkhole that you can throw food there without clog the plumbing, in Brazil all the food remainings you have to throw in a bin. It's garbage disposal what I meant, I made a search and made a new edit.” raicorreia
The joy of getting 2am diner food after a night out…
Food Eating GIF by Moosh & TwistGiphy“24/7 diners, I don't know if they actually exist but they sound awesome.” turngre3n
Having a good hot soak…
“Bathtubs apparently. I see them in so many tv shows. Even characters who supposedly aren't well off have a big bathtub in their bathroom.”
“I have not even seen one in real life. I thought maybe some hotels in my country would have them but nope. (Though to be fair I've never stayed in a 5 star or something). Just want to experience bathing in a bathtub once to see what all the fuss is about” vpsj
A good oil’ greasy American breakfast.
“Of what I've seen you guys have breakfast places everywhere and they have a wide selection of stuff like pancakes and donuts, it's not healthy but it sounds great. Most we get in the UK are small cafés or Mcdonalds.” FunniBoii
We add bacon to everything…
“When I moved to the Northwest, all my european friends swore up and down that American desserts and pastries were inferior, that I would have to get sweets imported, and I would miss all the nice bakeries, etc.”
“Immediately when I got here, I was offered a "maple bar with bacon and nuts", and I can never go back. America's pastry game goes hard. I've never had donuts as fluffy and flavorful. 10/10, would recommend.” SentretSparkleypants
Movie theater food…
“A theatre where they serve you actual food (like pizza, not popcorn) inside the theatre, while sitting on a spacious reclining chair with a little mini table. Best experience watching a movie I've ever had and wish it was in my country (Kenya).” Odd_Inflation178
We are spoiled for cereal variety…
“Cereal! We don't have ANY good breakfast cereal in Nepal 😭 Only DUMB Kelloggs cornflakes and chocos. I want those sweet honey nut cheerios, colorful fruit loops, them flavorful cinnamon toast crunch, those amazing looking frosted mini-wheats. Just give us some variety!!” June_53
Accessible street food…
“Street food that doesn't cost ££££. I hate the fact that in the U.K. (esp. London/Birmingham etc.) 99% of street food is deemed to be as pretentious as possible. Just because food is inevitably sprinkled with Parmesan/Truffle Oil/Whatever DOES NOT MEAN its allowed to be charged as much as it is inside a restaurant.”
“No, I don't want a eat a 'secret spices' beef rib from a cardboard box with rosemary salted French fries for £14 in the rain. I'd much rather have a half-decent burrito for £4/5, thanks.” notprotonated
Thift shopping!
Thrift Shop Television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy“Thrifting, where I live the second hand shop are so rare and it takes hours to get there. Also big mall were there are 20 and more shops, near me(and with near I mean that I have to drive for 1 hour) there is only one, and they only make this kind of malls in the opposite side of my city because the center is untouchable.” Eastern-Honeydew-471
“Mexican food and restaurants. I live in a german town with around 20k people. We have 15 italian (though at least two of them only do delivery), 5 greek, 1 vietnamese, 1 chinese and 5 german restaurants. 4 turkish Döner Kebap stores and 2 greek Pytta Gyros ones, one McD and a Subway.”
“And a load of cafes and sit-down bakeries. Within a 25km radius there is just one mexican 'restaurant'. Which is basically a (fancy and quite expensive) bar that offers a very limited menu with mexican foods and one american Burger-restaurant that has some mexican stuff on its menu every once in a while, but not always.” quietschedalek
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Reddit user "talldmbfan" asked:
"If you got to pick any career/job and earned $400,000 no matter what, what career/job would you pick?"
Ya know ... a $400k salary sounds like it could be a few smart money choices away from the very serious business of picking just the right pun for my new boat's name or whatever it is rich people do with their time. So let's start there.
What WOULD Reddit do for work if people actually got to choose? Let's find out.
Ranger Danger
National Park California GIF by Ovation TVGiphy"Park ranger. Specifically at Banff National Park."
- Freshrendar
"Yeah, I was thinking the same. However, it’s becoming an increasingly dangerous job these days I have heard."
"One the one hand maybe it's just misbehaved tourists who are becoming increasingly obnoxious, and on the other hand hardened, armed criminals trying to do their business in private."
- Th3_accountant
"Criminals like hiding in National Parks, feeding themselves by spotlighting game (whatever they can shoot they will shoot) and using gill nets to catch dozens and dozens of fish."
"Each ranger has a LOT of area to keep under control, it’s not unheard of to pull over a truck and 5+ guys come out, fully armed and it’s just you by yourself until backup arrives."
- NE55IN
"Former Ranger here. The job and positions of a Park Ranger vary widely."
"It does have its perks and I really liked it, but it also sucks in ways and has big drawbacks. Humans are the worst animal to have to manage."
- TahoeClown
Effort And Criticism
sacha baron cohen hotel GIFGiphy"USD 400,000 per year, right? I’d say be a hotel / resort critic."
"That way I get to travel, stay comfortably & get paid for a rather (seemingly) low effort gig."
- PuneriPerson
"I've been in travel positions before, it's pretty fun for a bit but as 'spoiled' as it sounds, hotel and restaurant living get tiring after a while."
"Sometimes it's better to just come home to your loved ones or pet or whatever."
"I did that while I was single. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine being in that type of role when you do."
"Being away from them plus putting the entire burden of raising children on your spouse? Not for me."
- peon2
"I met a girl several months ago who is a travel journalist and gets paid to do this very thing!"
"While I do get envious of all her comped trips (since I met her several months ago she’s been on fully paid trips to Oaxaca, Curaçao, a couple of luxury Caribbean cruises and had to turn down a trip to the German Christmas markets) I get the impression her job is a lot more stressful than we’d all imagine."
"She says pretty much every minute of each trip is filled with activities she’s expected to write about with very little down time."
"She’s lived all over the world with her job but also never really put down any roots, so that’s a downside. Even so - I enjoy living vicariously through her travels!"
- Fuzzy-Donkey5538
Let's Go Lego
Awesome The Lego Movie GIF by TrolliGiphy"Lego set designer"
- JustStargazin
"A LEGOland near me just posted a position for a master builder and i was like 'f*ck yeah!' ..."
"except that it pays $12/hour."
- checkoutmyfish
"Yeees! This has been my dream job since I was a kid. Only reason I’ve never pursued it is because it doesnt pay well."
- bigtdgf
"I didn’t even think of that!"
"My cousin and I love legos soooo much, I have that Disney castle set and we are constantly making the most random things. If I became the top set designer, there would be a lot more weird sets lol"
- The_controler
Helping Hoarders
khj GIFGiphy"The same business I have now. I help the elderly and hoarders organize their homes. I quite a job that payed well and to do this and it is so rewarding."
"A simple tip: To maintain control over a hobby/collectables, designate a space for it. If it overflows that space, it is time to rethink the activity."
"It may mean finding a bigger space, or looking for outdated or unused items for that hobby. This helps to maintain control and keep the hobby from taking over."
- bsmknight
"This one sparks joy!"
- Zebracakes2009
"I’d love to know more about this. I worry I’m a hoarder sometimes."
- DarkAndSparkly
"I am not a psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt, but from my experience the term hoarder is often misused. Hopefully this will be helpful to you!"
"I have helped people who have ranged from perfectly normal to people with head trauma. Yes, they can all be categorized as different levels of hoarding, but I try and focus on the reason why they hoard, rather than the term itself."
"Customer 1: was a lady whose house was just a mess. Not disgusting, just nothing was organized. She had a lot going on and was feeling very overwhelmed and her place was taking a turn for the worst."
"She was a bit ashamed and kept indicating how she was a hoarder."
"In the end, over several sessions we cleared out the garage, the living room, the bedrooms, the dining room and never once did she hesitate to throw something away. She wasn't a hoarder, she was overwhelmed. So this was solely situational."
"Customer 2: Another lady, good friend of mine too, very much fit the typical hoarding situation. In her case she was just really bad at putting things away and thus everything ended up, everywhere."
"She still has this problem, but as long as I come over from time to time, stuff gets put away. She has been really good at throwing away or donating items, but she needs someone to sit down with her to help motivate her."
"Customer 3: A gentleman who was my inspiration to get into this business is probably the closest to the true nature of a hoarder."
"He received a blow to the head many years ago due to an accident. Because of that he has had difficulty staying on track. He looses focus frequently and thus things fall to the wayside."
"I go over from time to time to help him clean up. I will make him return stuff he buys when he really does not need it, because he easily becomes distracted. He forgets to return it or that he even bought it."
"I can get him to get rid of stuff, it just takes a good deal of prodding and coaxing."
"In the end, With all my customers I tell them to stop focusing on the negative. Don't worry if your a hoarder, rather spend that mental energy on what you can do to move forward."
"Tip: if you need an idea for a first step, Listen to a podcast or you tube video on organizing."
- bsmknight
A Place For Passion
Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy"I’d want to own studio space where people could take classes, not just art or dancing but also like general hobbies to knitting, sculpting, writing, photography."
"I want to help people find a passion and explore it. And I’d be able to support others by paying them to teach their own passion."
- resigned-unicorn
"Look into maker spaces or hacker spaces. That literally exactly what they are!"
"I've seen them have facilities and classes ranging from running a cnc machine to beer brewing to programming."
"Membership is typically expensive (50-200 a month) but most give discounts or free membership for teaching classes.
Keep in mind I don't know if they are running with covid."
- vrek86
"There's a place near me called Handmade Toledo that does this!"
"The front of the building is a storefront where local artists, makers, and crafters can sell their stuff (anything from t-shirts and cards to candles and soaps, including snarky greeting cards and patches)."
"The back of the building is an events space where they have classes a few times a week, and a big event once or twice a year where more artisans come and sell their stuff."
- RagingAardvark
Dungeons, Dragons, And Daycare?
how to train your dragon smile GIFGiphy"I would run Dungeons and Dragons campaigns for k-6 graders to teach them about problem solving and conflict negotiation."
- snailsshouldvote
"I use D&D to teach conversation strategies and cross-cultural communication to Japanese university students and it’s f*cking great."
- Lord_Dimwit_Flathead
"I think every pre-school/lower school should hire you, this is a fantastic idea to implement those values while having fun!"
- OsamaBinnDabbin
"One of our friends runs dnd campaigns for kids as a way for them to work through their trauma."
"I don't know all the ins and outs, but it seems to help them. My husband has a 3D printer so he prints their mini figs for them."
- NurseMcStuffins
OK Go Away Now
Season 5 April GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Reclusive writer"
"I’d like people to enjoy my work, but otherwise forget about me and leave me alone."
"I went to a lecture given by Andy Weir once and he said that writing is a great way to be famous because you’re famous for a few weeks when they make a movie out of your book and you get invited to parties and stuff and it’s a lot of fun, but then you get to go back to civilian life rather quickly because everyone forgets about you pretty fast."
"So you get a taste of the celebrity life every now and then but you’re not stuck in the spotlight all the time like someone in the film or music industries."
- Plantayne
"I second this! Reclusive writer would seriously be an awesome job to have and make $400,000 doing."
- DemonikKitten
"A mysterious person that everybody knows by what you do; but whose identity is unknown because all you put are your initials, rather than your full name? Before you know it, you're both the most famous yet unknown person that everybody is talking about."
"I'm in."
- BeltEuphoric
Here Kitty Kitty
cat lady cats GIFGiphy"Cat rescue and rehabilitation. I do it for free when I can, so it would be awesome to be paid for it and have actual resources."
- toxinogen
"My family used to do this as well and it was so much fun growing up with up to a dozen cats in a town house at a time."
- amtapp
"Had a friend who co-owned a rescue. It’s good work but man was there so much drama from cat people. Half of her energy was spent managing different crazy personalities who volunteered."
"She ended up stepping down to a smaller role and opening a cat cafe."
- bell37
Masters With No Money
shocked oh my GIFGiphy"Librarian. Let me teach all about and facilitate the free borrowing of books while arranging events and services that help bind and strengthen the community."
"I would do it if librarian pay could support even myself decently. A lot of public service jobs (like librarians and teachers amongst others) do not pay very well and it can be hard to support yourself on such a salary, let alone a family if you want to have one."
"Still, if the issue of being able to live on the salary is taken out of the equation, I would choose to be a librarian every time."
- AnotherBookWyrm
"Oh man, my mom was a librarian and it is a real calling for some and I so love and respect that."
"Librarians are amazing!!!!"
- rcher87
"This was absolutely my first thought as well."
"I was halfway to a master's degree in library science when I did several shadow sessions. Everyone I talked to had gone to school for library science and was working part time shelving books and waiting for a librarian position to open up. Unless I was willing to move, it really didn't seem like a good option."
- elletastic
"It's a profession where the expectation is to have a masters degree and the pay scale for the vast majority of positions does not reflect that."
"I AM a librarian and it would still be my answer for this thread, but you'll often get that because you have to want to do this job to do it for the kinds of pay you can expect."
"I'm just lucky I'm in an academic position rather than public as that tends to set the starting pay a bit higher."
- WalkingTarget
What's Up, Wonka?
Animated GIFGiphy"Ice cream truck driver, but everything is $1 or less. Or maybe running a candy shop."
"While I’m at my mentally draining job, I dream of just being able to make people smile, but I just can’t afford to live on the money that provides."
- fraxiiinus
"There was this man who had an ice-cream truck that went around my neighborhood (I lived near a small park) and he was so nice. He couldn’t speak English well, but he just radiated a warmth around him that can never be bought or sold."
- Closet_Couch_Potato
You know what Reddit would do, but what about you? If you had enough money to be comfortable, what job would you happily get up and go do?
Is there a job you wouldn't do even if someone offered you a $400k salary?
What's your labor worth? Let's talk about it, fam.
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Some of the activities unfolding before us can be outright bonkers, and we just have to wonder what makes them do the things they do.
Curious to hear about how others might be perceived in public for doing certain activities, Redditor LordP*yF*ker asked:
"What’s legal but if you do it you still look like a psychopath?"
Why anyone would do the following is anybody's guess, but at least the question was answered.
They've Gotta Latte Nerve
"Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice."
– tsuave
Going Nowhere Fast
"walking backwards in public."
– CloudMojos
"So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought 'huh weird.'"
"Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot."
"Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position."
"At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation."
"Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf..."
– BearsWithGuns
What's Up, Doc?
"Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot."
– _Raspootin_
Business Cardio
"Working out in a suit."
– Poob3
"I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties."
– DarwinWillSolveIt
Could something more sinister be at work here?
Not possible.
After all, these activities are NOT illegal, right?
Midnight In The Garden Of Evil
"Digging holes in your backyard at night."
"Just doing some night digging."
– Hydris
Poultry Facial
"Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask."
– penny_lab
Here's A Treat
"Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos."
– khanabyss
Double Brides
"Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding."
– Adventurous_Menu_683
"In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered."
– IFKhan
Just because it's a preference doesn't mean you won't get an awkward reaction.
Drop Trou
"Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal."
– Sultan_of_Swing92
"I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled 'oops I'm not in the stall' then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled."
– OutlandishnessNo3979
Look Ma, No Hands
"Eating in public without using your hands at all."
– DeathSpiral321
"Like... just face first?"
– clumsyumbrella
"Nah, feet."
– pyphais
For Texture
"Eating a banana with the skin on."
– Nipples_of_Destiny
As a subway commuter in Gotham City, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train.
From unprovoked altercations, to riders taking up precious sitting real estate by spreading their legs wide open, there are many offenses committed by strap-hangers all the time.
My biggest complaint is a common one and it happens as I try to exit the train and my path is blocked by commuters standing on the platform who are simultaneously rushing to get in.
It happened very recently where a guy was standing directly in front of me, and he refused to step out of the way.
I asked him, "so are you just going to stand there?" His choice to stand on solid ground gave me my answer and I aggressively nudged him out of the way with my shoulder.
I didn't have patience for it, because like many of us stepping out of the train, we had places to go.
That being said, I don't highly recommend what I did. As I said earlier, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train and you never know who you're going to piss off.
I can't wait to be a car-owner again someday.
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