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People Reveal Why They Were Expelled From School

People Reveal Why They Were Expelled From School
Thomas Koehler / Contributor via Getty Images

It doesn't take much to get in trouble at school, but it does take something exceptional to be expelled. The punishment doesn't always fit the crime, but at times these troublemakers can pose a danger to students and the school. An epic prank taken too far, or a disgruntled administration with a grudge, can often derail a students future for years, but it's rare that expulsion solves any behavioral issues. They're just carried with the student to the next school, and the next and so on. People share the best of the worst.

Redditor u/bananapeel12329 asks:

Expelled students of reddit, what was the reason for your expulsion?


This Makes Me Sick To My Stomach

Was absent for too many days. Had doctor's notes and chronic health problems, was told to never come back.

chaosinboots

Student: absent for too many days.

School: EXPELS STUDENT SO THEY MISS MORE DAYS BECAUSE THEY MISSED DAYS.

Teo_1234

What Could've Possessed Them To Do That?

I went to a private Christian University, and I have a friend who got expelled for supposedly exorcizing a demon out of someone in the middle of a wide open courtyard.

wm24rogers

You can tell it worked because she finally yelled, for all to hear, "Jesus, I'm coming!"

Harold76

I mean, isn't that better than letting them remain possessed? (cause, ya know they believe in that stuff)

MTAlphawolf

When Push Comes To Stab

Pulled a knife on a girl who'd been bullying me and beating me up for nearly 2 years, after all attempts at intervention failed. I was in physical jeopardy every single day at school and teachers literally watched me get my head slammed into lockers and did nothing. My clothes were stolen during PE and I had to go to class in my dirty gym uniform. I was shoved down stairs. The vice-principal gave my parents lip service. The parents of the girl who was my worst bully said I was making it up. Cops?

This was the 80s, the cops didn't care about school bullies. So I threatened this in front of a large number of students that I would stab her in the throat if she ever touched me again.

I got expelled, then my mother threatened to sue the entire school district and the vice-principal personally. My mother was not a woman to be f*cked with, and she managed to get them to reverse the expulsion and only put me in in-school suspension for 10 days.

The school still wouldn't move my locker or change my classes but that girl didn't f*ck with me again. No one did for the rest of the school year because they thought I was crazy. So at least that worked.

gambitgrl

This Prank Was A Delicious Treat

Told my classmates the dog treats I brought were jerky. Everyone including a couple from our sister class and the teachers ate them.

Killer____tofu

that's a weird reason to get expelled. it's not like it was poison.

certstatus

I agree. But since I didn't tell them what they were actually eating I guess they looked at it as I was trying to poison people. This was also in elementary school so I mean I can only assume all the adults involved were fairly upset.

Killer____tofu

He's In Prison Now

Can I answer by proxy with a story?

My high school was one of those high schools where we have a cop who just kind of chills at the one busy hallway intersection. Presumably to deal with drugs or fights or some sh*t.

One day a kid was acting out, I wish I knew the full details but all I knew was he started some kind of altercation or fight and the cop stopped him. The kid was said something like "you better get your hands off me" and of course the cop did not get his hands off him.

The kid headbutted the cop and disoriented him then just beat the piss out of him and hospitalized him. That kid obviously got expelled, we got a new cop for our school, and I'm pretty sure that kid is still in jail because I think he was 18 so he didn't even get to get tried like a minor.

This was an extraordinary story, my school was not usually this bad. We had a lot of pot heads and a fight every now and then but that was about it.

Raze321

A Dance To Remember

Wow reading some of these reasons I'm realizing that a lot of people at my catholic high school should have been expelled. We had a dance once and the lights had to be turned on and the dance stopped because two kids were having sex on the dance floor. The girl was a teachers daughter. Also a friend of mine puked on my principals desk because she was so drunk and another girl sh*t in the girls bathroom sink. Oh and another guy punched his gf and a random dude because they were dancing together. All of these people only got suspended for a few days. It also all occurred during dances and somehow the school still continues to have dances.

sillysmiles

He's  A Podiatrist Now

Wasn't my expulsion. Dude in my (Catholic) high school was trouble. Long line of disciplinary infractions. Final straw was that a friend of his got a new car so he decided to wank off on it.

The senior parking lot was a busy social scene before and after school. People would arrive around 30 minutes early and hang around their cars. Couples would have a pre-class makeout, folks would chat etc.

So this guy, in front of all of us, pulled his pants down to his knees and began beating his baloney. It was funny for the first three seconds or so. Then it became clear that this guy was going to finish the job.

Some girls made disgusted sounds. Some guys laughed. Most people were just sort of in shock in having witnessed that.

Dude was gone by the end of the day. Announcement that afternoon to all students that he was no longer permitted on school premises, to include the parking lot, and no one was to permit him entry to our buildings.

He's a podiatrist now.

TheFire_Eagle

It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Punched

Happened to my best friend.

In marching band in high school we all sat at the same cafeteria table. At the end of it, someone punched someone in the shoulder and said pass it on. And down the side of the table you'd get punched in the shoulder, you turn to the person next to you, punch them and say "pass it on".

My friend across the table was just playing the game and punched the kid next to him, we are in high school mind you. This kid starts crying, and I mean crying really really hard. Lunch is over and he runs to the assistant principal and tells him. The principal gets involved and the punched kid's parents come in at the end of the day demanding my friend be expelled.


The assistant principal interviews some of us from the table and I said we were all playing and nobody punched anybody hard. He didn't buy it. Friend got expelled for 120 days. Had to reapply back to the school at the next school year and when he did was put on academic suspension which meant any screwups and he was permanently expelled from the school district.

As for punched kid, I read a news article a couple years later where his father beat up his mother on Christmas Eve over.

Americasycho

That was a hell of an ending.

The_Pelican1245

The Administration Strikes Back

Lightsaber battle.

My friends and I arranged a giant lightsaber battle on the last day of my sophomore year of high school. It was a huge hit with the students, but the faculty wasn't thrilled.

Being a private school, they felt it hurt their image and singled me out as the ring-leader. On my first day back after the summer I was put on academic probation and expelled about a week later for "profanity".

Went to public school for my junior and senior year.

CarlSaganMan

It's A Catholic Man's World...

I had a girl in my Catholic high school get expelled for getting pregnant, but her boyfriend who admitted it was his was allowed to stay.

samisoy

What a great way to teach kids responsibility, and give that unborn child a real headstart at life.

BobbyRobertsJr

Watch Your Language

Not me, but my brother got expelled for using a vocabulary word correctly in a sentence.

For context, it was not that long after Columbine, and people were overreacting to every little thing. My brother was not a bad kid, but was a bullied kid with a smart mouth. He had a history of making "threats" (read: he once told another kid he was going to eat his grandchildren).

Long story short, it was English class, and the teacher called on him and asked him to use the word "retribution" in a sentence. He said something to the effect of "I will have retribution on those who have wronged me." School took it as a threat and with his past record, he was expelled.

Oztaroth

Honestly there's no real way to use that word and not make it sound creepy or threatening.

PanOfCakes


My friend and I stole a girl's reading book, singeing the edges of the cover so it would look like "lost pirate booty," and hid it in the art room. Then we used three rolls of masking tape to create a 3D spiral "maze" of stickiness that criss-crossed the room, and gave the girl a singed-edged "pirate map" to locate her book. She rolled her eyes at us, clambered through the tape-maze, and retrieved her book, calling us "dorks" and laughing.

However, a teacher discovered the taped-up art room before we had a chance to take it down. My friend and I were called to the principal. I figured we were going to get in some trouble to wasting tape, or possibly suspended for using a lighter inside school.

Nope.

I'm So Excited, I'm So Excited, I'm So...Scared

I had to go before the school board to see if I was gonna get expelled but they decided not to. I sold a bunch of caffeine pills to my friends for .25 a piece and they were all worried about drugs. They even sent them off to be tested.

RosieTheTortoise

I do the exact same thing. I'm a debate kid currently in HS and I sell caffeine pills at tournaments. It's a really good place to sell caffeine because tournaments usually have wack scheduling. Us debaters usually have to be at school at around 5-7 in the morning after being in round until about midnight at most tourns.

Since the debate community has a huge adderall problem, its understandable why a kid selling caffeine pills at tournaments would be concerning to schools, so I make sure nobody says anything. Nobody that's an administrator has found out yet, and its an easy way to make a quick buck.

Adstrata

A Porn-Again Muslim

Was watching porn in the back of the class with a couple of mates, we were 14 and it was religion period. Half way through the volume randomly went up and you could hear f*ck me while the teacher was reading Quran.

parzoval-down50

This is amazing. I'm not really religious, but I attended a Muslim school from grade 3-6 so given how strict they are on the most mundane sh!t, this really cracks me up. Could you expand on that story please.

Youre-mum


I moved to Lebanon from Germany at the age of 7, parents thought It would be a good idea for my sister and I to go to a religious school (religious and cultural reasons). I studied there for about 10 years of which have not only pushed my sister and Myself away from Islam, but also my parents actually (ironic right?). Anyhow, I only got excluded for 10 days, when my dad picked me up and asked me why I was excluded, I told him it was porn and he couldn't stop laughing.

Even funnier though, our school was split in half, boys section and a girls sections. One time, my sister forgot her lunch at home, so i crossed to the other gate to give her half of mine. I got caught by the head teach, slapped on the head and then excluded for 2 days again (cuz we're not allowed to communicate with the girls??).

I always talk about how the Middle East is rather stereotyped to extreme by the west, but the more I think about sh*t I've gone though the more i start to see why we're getting all of this sh*t.

parzoval-down50

Wait, Are 'Penis Inspections' A Thing?

Coffee in middle school.

It all started with this one kid, I'll call her Becky. Her mom drove her to school every day, and her mom bought her Starbucks. She'd share it with her friends, giving the sips. It was one of those real sugary specialty drinks that masked most of the coffee flavor.

Becky and her friends were pretty popular, and as they went so did the school. It became a hip thing to come to school with a coffee. Didn't matter if it was Starbucks, Tim's, Dunkin or even McDonalds, if you had coffee when you walked into school you were cool. It was actually pretty funny seeing kids trying to swig down bitter coffee to fit in.

When it really caught on though, the administration noticed. Concerned about the health problems, and someone potentially getting burned coffee became banned.

The thing was, at this point everyone was addicted. Kids were sluggish, getting caffeine withdrawal headaches and becoming miserable.


I was in a unique position of being the only student on the school web page club with a first period study hall. I would pop my head into homeroom, say "I'm here." then head to the club room to update the webpage/watch launchcast video on an unblocked computer. The club room was basically a few computers in a room connected to the east wing teachers lounge. Nobody used that lounge though, as the west wing was only like 3 years old and had a brand new lounge with new furniture and a TV.

Anyways, all that is to set the background for the suspension. The old teachers lounge had a coffee vending machine in it. 50 cents for what I now realize was crappy instant coffee. I saw my opportunity. I'd have my friends give me a dollar and their order. I'd sneak into the lounge, get them a cup, and once they got a bathroom pass, they'd swing by and pick up their coffee. We were smart and used cans from the juice vending machine (soda had been banned, but we had a Minute Maid machine).

Like Icarius though, I got too bold. I would go to second period with my can of coffee. The jig was up when my arm got bumped and I spilled hot coffee all over my crotch. I held my tongue from screaming and was wearing camo cargos, so that teacher didn't know, but 3rd period was gym, and it was penis inspection day, so coach noticed the redness. I failed penis inspection for the 3rd time that year and got suspended for a week.

PenisInspectionLiar

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.