People Explain Which Significant Event Marks A 'Before' And 'After' In Their Lives
There are always turning points.
Before and after is a serious part of life.
We change in these moments.
From one phase to the next.
Redditor CantStalkMeNowLmao wanted to discuss the moments in life when the massive change happened.
"What event divided your life into 'before' and 'after?'"
My life is all about weight.
The gaining and the losing.
It's all before and after sizes.
Happy Occasions?Naturi Naughton Starz GIF by PowerGiphy
"Event #1 - getting married. Event #2 - getting divorced."
"I am trying to figure out which one of these I would go with if I could only have one."
"Death of my dad! I had to grow up so much faster due to court fights against my mother. I now don't speak to her so I'm pretty much parentless. I will always encourage people to have their will up to date because death brings out the worst in people."
WildCelebrate Stir Crazy GIF by This GIF Is HauntedGiphy
"I fell on my a** and broke 2 vertebrae."
"Lost 80 pounds (? 40 kg) and changed my job."
"Life was wild."
"I'm sure most people will say something like: marriage or birth of their kids. For me, it was having my anus removed."
"I live with Crohn's disease, which is where the body starts attacking your intestines. Mine was so bad that the only option was removing all the afflicted parts, where were the anus and rectum."
"So first the surgeons re-route the intestines to a surgically made opening on the abdomen. This is called an ostomy.
Then the diseased parts are removed, including the sphincter muscles of the rectum. Finally, everything is stitched up. It's often called a 'Barbie butt' surgery because the patient ends up with a backside that looks like a Barbie doll."
"Rehab. About 6 years ago I moved a few hours away from my hometown. I stopped talking to everyone I used to associate with, I changed my phone number, I quit social media. It’s nice being sober but when I quit drugs I found I have bad depression, so now I just sit in my apartment all day on days I don’t work. I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to. But at least I’m not spending 100% of my time and money trying to get heroin or meth."
So many endings and beginnings...
Different countryhappy well done GIFGiphy
"Moving to a different country for me. My whole life changed. Different country, moved in with a partner, different job, different language... Would I do it again? No, probably not. Would I move back? No."
"My father's death. He died suddenly, and it turned our lives upside down. I wasn't a child, I was 20, but I still wasn't ready to lose a parent, let alone without warning."
"Plus, my grieving process wasn't exactly healthy in its beginning, so a lot of the repercussions of that are still at play to this day. Yes, I did go to therapy, and it did wonders, but it can't undo the consequences of my actions back when my father's passing was recent. I lost friends, I lost time in university, I effed my body up."
Found my feet
"Mum and dad dying of cancer within six months, we had to sell our childhood home and my sister married an abusive guy who only hung around long enough to spend her money. I was lucky I was taken in by my aunt until I found my feet but could easily have ended up homeless."
"Birth of my daughter. I have trouble remembering a time before her, and she's only 15. Not trouble remembering stuff events before her, but in my head with old memories I'm like 'let's see, how old was she when that happened?'"
"The part that is terrifying though (for me anyways), is how much slower life was before my daughter. Just way less happened in those years so they felt like they just stretched on and on. Now I’ll jolt upright in the middle of the day at like “Holy s**t she was born yesterday but also six years ago.”
I'm OutI Love La Los Angeles GIF by vhspositiveGiphy
"I moved from my hometown to Los Angeles to get into the film industry. I didn't ever really make it in film, but that decision to move might have been the first big change in my life that wasn't approved by my parents."
"The deaths of my older brother & my mom within two years of each other. I was really close to both if them now my life is permanently changed I just see the world differently."
"Dropping out of university."
"I was a traumatized, depressed, and anxious young person who couldn't see a life that didn't involve completing a degree, and I was drowning. Letting go of that future was terrifying, but it had been dragging me down for years at this point."
"The whole world opened up for me. My "after" has been hard work, but I love it."
Against My Parents' Wishes
"At the age of twenty, I went against my parents' wishes and abandoned my study of physics for a degree in the performing arts. My father, an engineer, (as are all my brothers) didn't speak to me for two years."
"Recently retired from a 45 year career as a property master, first for live theatre, then for television, film, and eventually blockbuster-level features. I've been asked by some of the most creative people on the planet, whose names are household words, to help them make movies in some of the most beautiful, desolate and challenging environments to be found. Loved nearly every minute of it."
"That one moment of decision changed me from a dutiful, manipulable and obedient child into a fully-functioning, independent adult."
"My grandfather murdered his wife when I was like 10. So, that."
Life changes every second. Be ready....
Do you have similar before and afters to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.
People Debate Whether Mental Health Issues Are A Valid Reason To Call Out From Work
Every now and again, some people might call in sick to work when they might not be technically sick.
Instead, they are just feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or many other things and just need a day to collect their thoughts.
A "mental health day," if you will.
But should we have to lie about their mental health being the reason they aren't coming to work?
No doubt, they likely aren't honest about it for fear their bosses might not consider it a valid excuse, but should bosses and managers be more sympathetic and understanding?
"Is mental health issues a valid reason to call in sick to work? Why or why not?"
Sick Days Can Be Used However People So Chose
"If you got sick days, use em for whatever, who cares why."- Chance-Ad4773
"I use sick days, and even vacation days, for mental health."
"How are you going to perform to the best of your ability, if you're not your best?" - _bakedgouda
"Just call in sick, it's nobodies business what your illness is." - Bierculles
An Illness Is An Illness, Plain And Simple
"In my opinion, absolutely."
"Mental health is as important as physical health."- Defiant63
"Illness is both physical & mental, which you can argue mental is also physical considering it’s regarding your brain."
"Big difference between: 'I don’t feel like going to work' and 'I can’t perform my professional obligations and need rest'."- patlaff91
Yes. No Questions Asked.
"It's valid, sure."
'Whether your employer agrees is another subject."- brock_lee
Progress Needs To Be Made
"I would argue mental health is as important to take care of than physical health."
"But I would probably not tell them it’s mental sh*t just because we aren’t there as a society yet that recognizes taking care of one’s mental health."
"We are getting there but not quite."- ironicallyunstable
Valid, But Complicated
"However, mental health does carry a stigma, and if your higher-ups sense you might be a 'head case' or something, you may be passed over for promotions and stuff for people they deem more 'mentally stable' or whatever the f*ck."
"But most jobs cannot ask you the details on your health."
"So you can just call out 'sick', and don't disclose that it's mental in nature."
"If you have a job that requires proof of illness?"
"Might be time to look for a new job, yikes!"- daithisfw
"It is a valid reason but beware that not all people take mental health seriously and calling in because of it can lead to some people to start treating you differently, whether that be in a good way or a bad way in comparison to how you were treated before."
"Some employers may even cut your hours because of this as well, because in their eyes you just didn't want to work."-SeniorConfusion6698
Yes, But Plan Accordingly
"Some thoughts from a guy who has managed a lot of people."
"From a practical perspective what's 'valid' in the workplace has much to do with your relationships with co-workers and managers."
"A person who is generally productive and has good relationships will get a lot more leeway on things like mental health days than someone who's not productive and engages in conflict."
"You'll have lot more support from colleagues when you're going through tough times if you spend time, in advance, cultivating good relationships and a good reputation."
"Be honest with yourself on whether your choice of careers aligns with the degree of stress (both professional and personal) you're able to handle."
"I've known a lot of people who've chosen careers paths that are inherently more stressful and hectic than they're able to handle or don't align well with their personal responsibilities."
"Be honest with yourself on whether you're truly cut out for working in a given field, or at a given company, in a given role, or for a given person."
"Of course, many people don't have a choice on what job that they do, but if you do, try to find one that aligns with your own personal comfort level."
"Keep your expectations balanced."
"You absolutely do have the right to expect reasonable accommodations for your mental health and stress levels at work."
"The flip side of that is that your employer does have the right to expect that certain roles are filled by people who have the capacity to put up with a degree of consistent stress."
"If you attend too little to your mental health you'll burn out and your career will stall."
"However, if you can't manage yourself through a certain amount of stressful situations, your career will likely stall too."- JohanB3
It's Not The Why That Matters, But The How Much
"I never gave a sh*t why someone called in sick."
"It only ever became an issue if they were out of sick time."
"And if they were did the event qualify for FMLA."
"Was quite a headache during COVID, admittedly."
"As some people never got it and some people had it multiple times."
"We were making exceptions for some people while still being more demanding than usual of others."
"What a mess that was."
"But still didn't want to fire someone because they or their family had COVID so they missed work."- thedankbank1021
If people find themselves in a headspace where they know they won't be able to get any work done, it won't be to anyone's advantage for them to come to work.
Something they might want to consider, however, is maybe it's the job itself which is taking a toll on their mental health.
And it's not a day off they need, but should instead be handing in their resignation?
People Break Down The All-Time Best TV Dads
Perhaps the main thing that keeps people returning to their favorite tv shows is the characters.
Be it heroes we love to see in action, the villains who we love to hate, or the friend group we wish we were a part of, nothing brings people greater joy than being part of their world for 30 minutes to an hour each week, or devoting an afternoon to bingeing.
Indeed, it's often the family shows people tend to resonate with the most, sometimes wishing their family could be more like what they see on television.
Particularly when it comes to fathers.
Be it a carefree, fun-loving goofball like Modern Family's Phil Dunphy or a sensitive neat freak like Full House's Danny Tanner, TV dads have earned a special place in the hearts of viewers.
"Who is the best TV dad?"
Man's Best Friend, And Everyone's Favorite Dad!
"Bandit Heeler."- AlisonSandraGator
The Father Will Was Always Missing
"Uncle Phil."- Sagranda
"Uncle Phil."- N7-Rogue-Spectrefresh prince of bel air uncle phil GIF by Nick At NiteGiphy
As Wise As He Is Kind
“'I was never angry with you. I was sad, because I was afraid you had lost your way'."- briareus08
Determined To Take Over The Tri-State Area!
"Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."
"Sure, he's evil, but he loves his daughter."
"He will spend decades hunting down a rare doll just because she once said that she wanted it."
"He'll also zap an older guy into another dimension for hitting on her."- TechyDad
Creepy, Cooky, Mysetrious, Spooky, And One Great Dad!
"Gomez Addams."- Back2Bach
"Gomez Addams from the original 'Addams Family' show."
"A devoted and passionate spouse."
"A loving and supportive father."
"Cheerful, creative and energetic."
"Never a bad word for anyone that I can recall."- ElectricHelicoidGiphy
The Burgers Are An Added Bonus
"Bob Belcher."- International-Roll27
"Phil Dunphy."- OakNogg
A Great Father In Any Galaxy
"He would have stayed in that system forever to find his son." - Reddit
A Great Dad Before He Started Breaking Bad
"Hal from 'Malcolm in the Middle'."- PrincessBambi_2000malcolm in the middle ifc GIFGiphy
Such A Great Dad, He Became The Main Character!
"He gained so much respect from me when he stood up for Jackie when her boyfriend beat her."
"Plus, I just really love John Goodman."- daddyspader
Veronica's Source Of Inspiration
"Keith Mars from 'Veronica Mars'."- procrastinatorsuprem
Boldly Going Where No Dad Has Gone Before
"Captain Ben Sisko."- WARMASTER5000
Everyone's Favorite Whistling Sheriff
"Opie Tayler would never have turned into such a great kid without his Pa."- AtheneSchmidtAndy Griffith GIFGiphy
No one can choose their parents, and thankfully, most people feel lucky with the parents they were given.
But every now and then, who doesn't wish their father was a joy inducing blue Dingo?
People Break Down Which Professions They Believe Are Completely Overpaid
When I interviewed for a copy editor position a few years ago, I was asked how much I made at my previous position. Now take note, employers and interviewers are NOT ALLOWED to ask you this, but since I didn't know that, I answered her honestly.
To say she was shocked was an understatement.
My previous position was a writing position, and she couldn't believe how much I was making at a writing job just out of college when people who had several years of experience above me were making less at similar positions.
Basically, she thought I was being overpaid and made that clear when she told me how much I would get paid at her company for a higher position.
We are all aware there are plenty of people that do important work who don't get paid enough. However, there are also people who do important work who also get paid too much. It's not something talked about often.
At least, it wasn't until Redditors broke that dam.
It all started when Redditor oeiswa asked:
"Which job is definitely overpaid?"
It's All Fun And Games
"I'm not sure what the position is but I have a buddy that worked at Dell and his job was to sit at a computer and press a button to accept and send forward IT service tickets. $100k salary and he said he spent his day playing games on his phone or watching youtube/netflix."
"My old roommate had a cushy job like this that required a security clearance and he was careless and lost it while telling the other 3 of us that it was NBD because he wanted to be a teacher anyway."
"All 3 of the other roommates were teachers and we were horrified that he'd throw away $100k "play League all day" job for f*cking teaching"
"The sign of a good IT department is when they're all playing halo on their servers."
"If the IT department gets calls every five minutes, the loss of productivity of the entire company greatly overshadows five dudes playing halo."
"I Moved My Mouse Today
"As someone in cyber security... cyber security. They are throwing around tons of money."
"Shhh. As someone in that field as well, don’t let them know that lol"
"As someone also in cyber security, who works from home and installed a mouse jiggler..."
"I have gotten so much sleep, I have no stress"
A Dangerous Game
"Politicians! Anywhere in the world are overpaid. Should have their salaries set to be equal to public servants such as teachers for example. Whatch teacher salaries increase"
"Underpaying politicians makes them a lot more susceptible to bribery"
That's The Dream
"If I’m being honest, I’m probably overpaid. I'm a customer success manager at a tech company. My job is very straightforward and I don’t have to exert a ton of effort. It’s not super stressful and I get to travel quite a bit on the company’s dime. The only real skill that is required is emotional intelligence. Understanding the basics of tech and marketing is a plus, but you can learn that as you go. I make 6 figures."
"I'm a client of customer success managers and you guys do jack sh*t. You spend most of your time badgering me for meetings, and then making to-do lists that fulfil (I assume) some internal target but add zero value to my business. You hiring?"
"Board of Director."
"Often get 6 figures for so little work that you have plenty of time to sit on multiple Boards!"
"Oh, and did I mention that it is often other companies' C-suite execs that sit on Boards? Being on the Board of Directors takes up so little time and involves so little work that you can sit on multiple Boards ALL WHILE BEING A C-SUITE EXEC!!!"
"BTW, who decides how much $$ the CEO gets? The Board does."
"Who's on the Board? C-suite execs, like CEOs, of other companies!"
"Anyone see a problem here?"
"Government. I asked some of them what they do and they couldn't even really describe it properly and if they don't come in to work for a week they don't get fired."
"I used to work for a government run national laboratory... The amount of people that actually do nothing, take 2 months of vacation every year, and cannot even come close to telling you what their job entails is atrocious. A lot of the stigma surrounding government workers being lazy and unproductive is absolutely accurate."
It Pays To Be The Boss
"I learned this week that vice principals in the school districts here get paid between 90-100k a year. The average teacher in the same school districts get paid around 35-40k. I’m not sure how this is legal."
But They're On TV!
"Morning show TV anchors."
"Back in the day they ere giving people like Matt Lauer $25 milion a year."
"GTFO of here."
"Sports broadcasters….they are paying these NFL guys huge bucks….do you ever tune in to a game because of who is doing the play by play?"
What Do You Do?
"Anyone on Wall Street. At this point, algorithms do all the research and work, yet you make a small fortune. Not to mention that even the most well-known and established firms are hella shady and are constantly involved in scandals, fraud, and morally bankrupt practices. All that doesn't even include the sexist, racist, and unacceptable environment Wall Street has and actively encourages. And yet when asked, I still can't get a straight answer on what exactly they do or how their salaries are justified."
I Want These Positions
"The recruiters, HR and marketing people at major tech companies who make Tik Tok videos about their easy “work” days. Maybe 2 hours of work and 6 hours of delicious food, gym, and other perks"
"Mine… cause I barely work these days 🌝"
"You're in IT too??"
They Said Clear Skies!
"Any meteorologist. They cannot get it right"
Huh, I Never Knew!
"School bus drivers. They make around 40k a year, while school teachers only make around 30k. And to add to that special ed teachers get paid even less than normal teachers."
Sounds Pretty Nice
"I work nights as a line service tech for a private jet charter company. If we have no flights coming in or going out during my ten hour shift, I do next to nothing (I'll spend 30 minutes doing fuel QA as well as any odd jobs I can find, but that's it.) Instead, I tend to sleep for 5-6 hours- and management both knows this and does not object so long as we take care of any flights we may have."
"I get paid $22/hr for this, work eight days on, six off, and have the option to deadhead on a private jet if I want for free. I'm also being trained as a mechanic for free."
"The cost is that it's Night shift. No one wants it but it's gotta get done. Enjoy yourself."
"I don't know, man. It's tough being a football. Getting kicked around all day."
These sound great if you're lucky enough to snap one of them up!
Do you have any to add to the list? Let us know in the comments.