You know that there's a 50% extra chance you're going to laugh in a time you shouldn't be laughing. And then from there, it's approximately a 25% chance that that laughter will become uncontrollable and cross every social line possible in that moment.
u/KillerMemeStar3 asked Reddit:
What's the worst place you have laughed uncontrollably?
Here were some of the not-hilarious answers.
No-Job-Guffaws
In a staff meeting when they told us the store was closing and we would all be losing our jobs. It was the first mandatory full staff meeting in the 2 years I had been there (usually the warehouse area where I worked would do those things separately).
I was joking in the carpool to work that we were all getting laid off in one go to save time and when we get there the Big Boss has tissue boxes lining the meeting table. I knew I was right and immediately starting giggling like an idiot. I kept it together (kinda) until they announced the lay offs and then I lost it.
Other people were in tears for losing their jobs but the whole thing was weirdly hilarious to me.
Unbelievable
When I was 20, I moved to North Carolina to live with my bf at the time. I had come from a fairly active church background, so my bf, wanting me to feel at home, decided to take me to a quaint church out in the backwoods just outside of town. The congregation was divided by gender, men on the right, women on the left. The pastor greeted me and made a huge deal about how he was happy to make an exception to allow me to sit with my bf on the men's side since it was my first time attending, so I did.
It was a fire-and-brimstone, straight out of a movie, Big Tent Revival, evangelical church. The pastor was yelling and stomping and shouting about how the media and TV was corrupting our children and how we should close our eyes to worldly sin or forever forfeit our right to the kingdom. It was intense. He was jumping and pointing and spit was flying as he preached, and then he locked eyes with me while saying "So I say, YES, I SAY, Lord, GET SPONGEBOB AND HIS LITTLE FRIEND OUT OF MY HOUSE! Get them OUT, dear lord, for I will not let my babies bare witness to their sin!" And I lost it. I could not contain myself. I buried my face in my hands, then in my bf's shoulder, but I couldn't stop, and I was shaking uncontrollably. The men around us thought I was 'touched' by the service and they all laid their hands on me in prayer, which made it much, much worse, and when I finally got myself under control, I had tears of laughter streaming down my face.
We never went back.
F Is For Friends Who Fart Stuff Together
My best friends father died, and we kinda stopped talking for a while. I dont think I had seen her in almost a year. Well as wee go down to hug and say hi to the family, I noticed it the same thing over and over "I'm sorry for your loss." If you need anything, im always here for you guys"
Well I knew she was tired of hearing it, as I walked up I hugged her and whispered in her ear " I just farted"
With tears in her eyes she laughed uncontrollably. And she still mentions that moment from time to time.
And yes we are best friends again.
Ding Dong Merrily On High
At my mother's baptism...
My mother was raised Catholic but grew away from the church for various reasons over the years, but she became very active at her local Baptist church and decided to officially convert. They held a huge ceremony during the Sunday morning service, and the whole family showed up to support her.
Well, there is always music and singing, and being a fairly large church, they had a band with a multitude of instruments. There was this one fucking guy, and his job was to play the chimes. You know, the different ones hanging on strings all in a row? Well let me tell you, this guy LOVED to play the f*cking chimes. It was his only job. He did it with such flourish. He would shove his hand into the air before swooping into the hanging bars of metal. Did you know that he was also able to incorporate chimes in to multiple points of all the songs played? Well he did. Chimessssss all day.
The first time it happened, my husband and I locked eyes in the pew. That was it, we f*cking lost it. AND HE KEPT DOING IT! Song after song. We could not get control of ourselves. My father, sitting behind us, was furious.
Just Pay Regular Price
Not the worst, but I've done it at the movies a few times. Once during Mad Max Fury Road and again watching the first Jurassic World. One friend insisted in seeing them in 3D. For some reason, when the guitar player in Mad Max came flying off the truck in 3D, I lost my sh*t and could not pull myself together. And I have a pretty loud belly laugh cackle. I unintentionally made a scene in the theater.
Same deal with Jurassic World, when the guy who is talking about weaponizing the velociraptors tries to hold out a hand to calm one down and it starts by eating his arm, then killing him. The 3D in that movie was meh, and this was one of the few times it kind of worked. And again, for some reason, I lost my mind laughing.
We don't go to 3D movies anymore.
Unremarkable Excursions
Here's a word of advice: Don't attend a car crash as part of a first date.
Back when I was first trying my hand at online dating, I made plans to meet up with a young woman at a coffee shop near a beach. Like many such doomed-from-the-start affairs, this one began with a lot of small talk, a discussion about the surrounding area, and a couple of allegedly humorous misunderstandings. For a little while, it seemed like it was going to be an unremarkable excursion... but just as as the conversation was actually getting started, we were interrupted by the loud screech, pop, and crunch of a fishtailing car plowing into a nearby tree.
As is wont to happen in such circumstances, many of the café's other customers gathered around to gawk at the scene. Murmurs of speculation rippled through the small crowd as we all watched the car's driver climb out and survey the damage, followed by gasps of shock and alarm as people noticed that her head was bleeding. One of the nearby employees went to call 911, and my date asked if we should try to help the woman. I was about to respond with my agreement, but the words never came out... largely because they were replaced by uproarious laughter.
Please understand, I wasn't making light of the car crash. In fact, at the exact moment that I'd been encouraged to assist, I'd caught sight of something that my brain decided was too funny to ignore: From behind the wreckage, there came an enormous – almost spherical – man riding on a motorized bicycle. He looked to be about fifty, had an expression of intense concentration on his face, and was moving so slowly that it really seemed like he should have toppled over. Each of the man's limbs were frozen in place, statue-like, as the dull whine of the vehicle's motor struggled to inch him forward.
I don't know why I found that so amusing, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Tears of mirth clouded my vision, and no matter how hard I tried to restrain myself, I just couldn't stymie my amused outburst. Needless to say, it didn't make the best impression on the girl across the table from me, and I could feel the disapproving stares of the other patrons from all around. I did finally manage to explain what had caused me to break down like I had, but I'm not convinced that the young woman believed me.
We didn't have a second date... but to be honest, I still chuckle to myself when I picture the man on his moped.
A Simple Mix Up
Oh, man.
I used to work in a call centre, and on each call I had to enquire whether the customer had cavity wall and loft insulation already.
On one call I accidentally asked somebody if they'd had their "caft and lovity woft", immediately bursting into an insane fit of giggles. Thankfully the person on the other end of the phone saw the funny side (honestly just typing that out now I'm having to suppress the giggles) .
I ended the call and had to take a break to let all of the giggles out and compose myself.
Eventually I calmed down enough to make another phone call, and for whatever reason, as soon as the next person answered the phone I burst back into giggles.
The customer was nooottttt impressed. I explained "caft and lovity woft" and apologised to the guy, but he told me how unprofessional it was and that it made my company look bad etc etc. I apologised profusely but still couldn't really stop giggling. He hung up shortly after that.
And tbh, f*ck that guy, because caft and lovity woft is hilarious.
Out Of Context
When I first met my husband's parents they invited some of their extended family out for dinner.
My husband's aunt told me this story:
An elderly man they knew was island hopping in Indonesia and got into a small plane of about ten people. The plane's engine failed (or something like that haha) and it nosedived into the ocean. 9 passengers died, this man they knew was the only surviver and was picked up by a passing boat.
He went into hospital where they were sure he was on his deathbed with pneumonia. After a month of being in hospital in a foreign country, his family demanded he be transported back home. After another month in hospital finally he made a recovery and returned home. For his first breakfast back home he asked that it be served on his balcony. He sat down on his chair on the balcony and waited for his breakfast to be served. The balcony "fell off the house and he died."
I think it was the phrasing "fell off the house", combined with nerves at meeting my husband's family for the first time, that made me completely lose my mind. I was wiping away tears. The worst part is that no one else heard the story and when they asked the aunt what was so funny she said "I was just telling her how so and so passed away."
Whoops.
#VoteThemOut
My great grandmothers funeral. She was very loved and there were almost 200 people packed into this funeral home. But we were in good spirits. She was a great woman and wouldn't want us sad. She was very sick anyway so no one was truly shocked she passed.
My uncle was sitting in the front row I was in the second with my aunt (his sister). It was dead silent before the music started to play and I see my uncle look left and right. The front row was all pall bearers. He just turns around and says, "it looks like a Republican national convention up here." I realize it's an entire row of 6 foot average weight 40-60 year old white men all wearing the same suit.
My aunt and I were choking back tears from laughing so hard. Completely couldn't catch my breath.
Made the whole funeral go better.
Whoops, Sorry
There is a neighbor boy that my son and I absolutely hate. I know he's just a kid, but I hate him with a deep, adult hatred.
(I genuinely believe he is a sociopath and has a future of crime and/or douchbaggery ahead of him. He choked my son in front of me, lied about it to me, and then when I talked to his parents about it, they just said "Well that's not what he told us happened, and there's two sides to every story," so you know there's no hope for this kid to be put on the right path.)
Anyway, there was a neighborhood kickball game in my yard one day, and I'm monitoring because this kid showed up and he was constantly cheating and bullying the other kids, and I was waiting for enough to happen to justify kicking him out. I was just standing up to walk over and tell him to leave, because he was trying to claim he tagged a kid with the ball when he hadn't, when my son picked up the ball, fired it at the little *sshole's face with the accuracy of a missile launch, and yelled "Stop cheating, this is why no one likes you!"
The kid's head snapped back hard, and he toppled to the ground. He looked at me, clearly wanting me to dish out some punishment, but I was literally in tears laughing at the little douchebag's comeuppance. I know the right thing to do here, and I did none of it.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.