Dysfunctional Families Reveal Their Traditions No One Else Celebrates
Dysfunctional families are the rule, not the exception, and all of them have their own sets of traditions that outsiders would probably find strange. But it's what makes them special, right?
realkpossible asked, What is a tradition that your family does that you found out was not normal?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This is definitely a way to get kids to eat less candy. Well-played, mom and dad.
The Pumpkin Fairy. It was a Halloween tradition in my family, where we would take a portion of the candy we got, put it in a sack, and hoist it up a tree. The next day, we'd cut down the sack, and there'd be a game of some kind in there. It blew my mind as a kid but was really just a ploy by my parents so we'd eat less candy (honestly not a bad move imo).
"I know what this tree needs... testicles."
At Christmas time, while decorating the Xmas tree, my brothers would always take two golden ball ornaments and put it at the very bottom of the tree so they hang down. They proclaim the tree is male because it looks like it has two golden testicles. Over ten years later and we have all moved out, my mom decorates the tree but leaves the two golden balls out so when we visit for the holidays my adult brothers are able to place them. It is a simple thing but I love it.
Ok this is actually hilarious.
When my parents first moved in together they could not afford all the flashy Christmas bling for their tree so the topper they opted for was a rubber chicken.
They continued to use the rubber chicken as a tradition and I never thought anything of it until 1992 when I was in grade primary (kindergarten) and our teacher asked the class what goes on top of the Christmas tree. As I had only ever had one experience this was an easy one...
The rest of the class didn't understand so later that night I asked my parents why other kids all said they used stars and angels, like demented weirdos.
After that, my parents decided to get a more traditional ornament for the top of the tree but the original rubber chicken remains amongst the branches.
When I moved, out a few years back, my parents gave me an early Christmas present, my own rubber chicken that goes on my own coniferous pagan centerpiece every year.
Edited for fat fingers.
Christmas seems to be the theme here. MMMMMMM cinnamon rolls.
My family has a Christmas tradition of eating fresh cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. I thought this was a traditional Christmas Day breakfast until I got to first grade!
This isn't a far cry from the Festivus pole.
Every Christmas, my Grandma and my brother exchange a bowling pin, this goes back to the early 90s. It's the same pin, but whoever has it that year dresses it up like a pop culture figure. Some of the best ones have been Britney Spares, Osama Pin Laden, Shaquille Bowl'neil, Fresh Pins of Bel Air, Barack Bowlbama, Caitlyn Pinner, Tim Tebowl, Ty Pinnington, Jesus Strikes
Whoever has the pin that year also writes a poem filled with jokes about the celebrity. It's always bad and really offensive.
My mom and my aunt also started a "Holiday Heist" where they took turns every year stealing something obvious. One year my mom stole my grandma's life-size Mrs. Clause doll and dressed it up like the grim reaper. One year my aunt stole my mom's phone. We were all digging through wrapping paper and trash for HOURS. My mom was pissed and they didn't do it again.
We throw in playing in two different keys on the piano.
The way we sing happy birthday. We all start at different times sing really loud and are free to change/add extra words as you wish. It can be frightening the first time you hear it.
By all means, fly the dead bird around.
Final Flight of the Turkey: every Christmas Eve, typically pretty late when the kids have gone off to bed, my family would make the stuffing and prep the turkey. However, once the stuffing is ready to be put in the turkey, we have to get the turkey out of the sink and into the pan. Instead of simply transferring it from the sink to the pan, it is tradition to "fly" it around the dining room/kitchen (typically done by 2 people, holding a wing and a leg each) with at least 1 "knife edge" turn, before executing a hard landing into the pan. I think this has been done every Christmas Eve for at least the last 20 years.
Before you ask, yes, lots of alcohol is involved. As is tradition .
My family used to do this, but in our neighbor's yard.
My family has always burned the Christmas tree at midnight on New Years. None of my classmates, friends, or anyone I know personally did this. Apparently, they all just take their dead tree to the dump. After looking it up, it's apparently a thing in Europe, but it's not a thing in my area.
Edit: What we normally do is take the decorations down from the tree on New Year's Eve and get together all the wrapping paper (no plastics) from presents. We have snacks and get wasted and as midnight approaches the soberest few (usually family too young to drink) stuff the naked tree with paper and put it out in the yard. My dad gets together ammunition and as the clock turns we light the tree and fire into the night (in a safe and clear direction, usually a close hillside). Cheering and hooting commence and we quiet down and watch the tree burn until it goes out. If the tree burns well it's supposedly good luck. We go inside and continue partying and usually, someone vomits uncontrollably after getting too drunk on Vodka. Fun fact: this is the only day of the year any of my family gets proper s***faced. Good times. My family doesn't know when we started this tradition, but it's from my dad's side.
The Great Pumpkin is a hero.
On Halloween, after everybody's gone to sleep, the Great Pumpkin visits little kids with allergies and turns all their store-bought candy into safe desserts.
I first realized this wasn't a thing when I started grade school and found out that my peers had never heard of the Great Pumpkin at all. Then in high school, I found out that The Great Pumpkin isn't even a thing for families with allergies. Usually, parents make the kid trade out their candy, or go door to door and ask their neighbors to give their kid some kind of alternate treat instead.
But my mom wanted to let me trick-or-treat like a normal kid and have the fun of getting as much candy as possible from total strangers. So she decided that the Great Pumpkin was real, gave him special candy-transforming powers, and showed me the Peanuts Halloween comics as "proof." Then after I went to bed, she swapped out my candy for safe treats and told me the Great Pumpkin had visited. (The Great Pumpkin also had to visit my little brother because he got jealous.)
If my kids have allergies (or I decide I want to limit their access to garbage food) you can sure as heck bet they'll get visits from the Great Pumpkin too.
My dad's family smears the name on the cake. It always made me feel like I was going to die.
An odd birthday thing. Now everyone sings happy birthday and the candles get blown out as usual. The birthday person also cuts the first bit of cake but is supposed to scream when first inserting the knife. No idea why and never encountered it anywhere else.
No visitors? Naps? Yes please.
Total silence in the house between 3 to 7 PM, no visits allowed. "After lunch, everyone wants to rest, no one visits anyone."
Then my parents go to take a nap. I didn't realize this wasn't the norm till I was an adult.
Not all heroes wear capes.
My family has this Christmas Eve tradition called the Pajama Man. Upon telling friends in college, and years later at my work, people have found hilarity in my family's tradition. I would like to hear yours.
Pajama Man: He delivers pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning to your front door and disappears before you can answer the bell.
Treating kids like intelligent individuals capable of understanding consequences? What a novel idea.
Growing up my parents never yelled at me. When I say never, I mean never. They would explain to me why what I was doing was wrong and punishment would be talking about my problem ending with an Andy Griffith style lesson to be learned. They were super upbeat and always wanted to treat me as an equal, not just as their son. I know some families don't like to do it this way, but it worked for us. I was a more responsible and mature kid growing up.
"Sorry, the family and I are playing Jingle Dick."
I'm a little late but it's worth a mention.
We open presents on Christmas Eve under the supervision of an art piece purchased by my aunt. It is a ceramic gourd filled with jingly beads. Its shape is very bulbous at one end, with a long cylindrical shaft and a small "head" or "tip."
We call it the Jingle, and everyone who opens a present must shake it over their head and scream like the sand people from star wars.
This is really cool. We all wear masks, right?
We display masks and statuettes on the walls.
My father traveled a lot and would buy masks and the like from flea markets and shops and all sorts of places, and he'd hang them up in the front hall. There were so many of them, some with "hair", some small enough to fit in your hand...there was this one big one that was too tall for the hall so he put it over the fireplace when it wasn't in use (I hated that one, it was curved on the back so it always slid to the side when you passed it).
I never thought anything of it, if anything I loved the masks (I was always fascinated by masks. We have a poster of hockey masks from the earliest ones to the "latest" (latest being like the mid-80s) and my mother said when she used to bottle feed me as a baby I'd just stare at it) but I eventually came to realize that it was kind of weird.
My father passed away many years ago now but we still have the masks. Most are in storage right now because we moved and my stepfather isn't a huge fan of them (though he has one set up above the toilet in their bathroom, amusingly). We split up the masks into three groups, my brother, mother, and I took one, and when I get my own place, I plan to set up my own wall of masks and continue the tradition.
Nothing brings a family together like competition on a holiday.
We play bingo on Thanksgiving. It is a big deal - so much so that when people sign up to bring a dish for Thanksgiving, they also sign up to bring prizes for bingo. We're very competitive and there have been a couple tantrums from the younger players when they have to clear a card after a round.
Cue the chants and drums.
Well, this tradition started when I was an adult, but my nephews and nieces are going to have a hell of a time explaining that their family constructs, and then burns, a wooden turkey on Thanksgiving.
All glory to burning bird!
Not having traditions is most certainly a tradition. Cheaper, too.
My family has absolutely zero traditions. Not one. Now I'm older I realize it's because my parents and grandparents are very dull people. I'm starting new family traditions with my wife and daughter that we can look forward to.
A celebration for the ages. Parenting FTW.
My mom had a ceremonial latin/LGBT family dinner after Ricky Martin came out of the closet.???????
How many people do you know battling addictions?
According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is "a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual's life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences."
Hearing from those who have battled addictions––and come out the other side––can be remarkably eye-opening, as we were reminded once Redditor YoshBotArmy asked the online community,
"People who have beaten an addiction... what's your secret?"
"I'd then check off..."
"Alcohol. The "one day at a time" approach was too much. I made a chart with a 24 hour day broken up into 15 minutes. For example: 8:00-8:15. [ ]
8:15-8:30. [ ]
8:30-8:45. [ ]
I'd then check off a box for every fifteen minutes I didn't drink. This really boosted my confidence because although I may have only gone two hours without drinking, my brain focused on the 8 boxes I checked off.
Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, etc.
It's now been 8 years."
"You need to want to quit..."
"You need to want to quit, otherwise, it will be a fight against yourself. I quit smoking about 15 years ago after being a smoker for like 18 years. I decided to quit several times but never stuck, always found a reason to fall back into the habit. One day my 4yo daughter told me that she was going to find a way to save me from cancer because smokers are bound to get it. After that, I couldn't stand cigarettes anymore and quit within the week. Never again. I wanted to be there for my girl more than anything else."
"The lesson to take away from this..."
"I realised my binge eating was due to a general lack of self-control. I developed bulimia (exercise is my poison) trying to counteract it, and I still struggle with that.
I struggled with it for years and tried everything under the sun to stop it. It wasn't until I started practicing Stoicism that I started seeing life differently. Then a couple of years into that, I overheard a colleague say "it's all about finding balance" in a conversation about the challenges life throws at you. That quote stuck with me for about a year until I realised I have no sense of balance because I used to be an extremely black and white/all or nothing character.
It's now been 2 years since I completely stopped binge eating, and it was all due to having that epiphany. Took practice to get into good eating habits and a routine with meals but I'm all good now.
The lesson to take away from this - teach your children self-control and the ability to say no to themselves. My parents gave me everything I wanted so I had to teach myself this throughout my early 20s."
"That does not mean..."
"You have to learn to give yourself grace.
Relapses happen. I self-mutilate. I will do incredible for months. Then one negative thought can send me into a spiral and I harm myself.
That does not mean that I undid any of the hard work I had done up to this point. I acknowledge that I made a mistake, identify my triggers, and make an effort to start clear of them. Take a deep breath and try again."
A valuable observation.
"I kicked the habit..."
"I wasn't physically addicted to marijuana, but I had such a mental dependency on it that it was pretty much like being addicted. I couldn't function without it.
I kicked the habit by pursuing a girl. I really wanted to date her, and I didn't want her to know that I was actively smoking weed. I stopped smoking weed because I'd fallen in love with a girl. I'm now married to her, and I haven't smoked weed in over 4 years."
"The most important thing..."
"The most important thing I ever learned was not to fight cravings. I don't mean to give in and use when a craving strikes but for a long time simply feeling the craving was awful. I tried so much to avoid the feeling because I was scared of it.
I saw the suggestion to actually indulge the feeling and just let it wash over you. When I tried it, it was still uncomfortable to want to use but by letting myself feel the craving fully I was able to let it go and move on with my day more easily. Fighting the craving just made me suffer."
"I wore a rubber band..."
"I wore a rubber band around my arm and anytime I thought about my addiction, I would snap it and hurt myself. That way, I associated my addiction with pain and eventually broke my body's natural desire for it."
It turns out this has merit.
"I have no idea..."
"Coffee. I was a serious caffeine addict (like 12 cups a day), and one day for no reason I just woke up and ... didn't feel like having coffee. I've had maybe 5 cups of coffee in the 10 years since then.
I have no idea why it happened, but I haven't felt a craving for it in years. I wish that would happen for my other bad habits."
"I don't think..."
"I don't think it's a secret. Understanding the addiction. Knowing that it takes time for the chemicals in your brain to reset. Knowing it's gonna suck. Being prepared as best you can. Knowing it's going to be a battle."
"I'm not very far..."
"It was really taking a toll on my overall health and one day I woke up and said never again. I'm not very far into recovery and I've never been to a meeting or anything. I know I can't have it around me or I'll relapse."
We are proud of anyone who manages to beat an addiction and who can speak about their experience so candidly. And if any of you out there are struggling, we're rooting for you.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below.
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I'm just spitballing here, but it seems to me that pretty much that weapons of war are among humanity's worst creations. Sure: We live in an anarchic world. States can never be certain of another state's intentions. Conflicts are bound to break out. But in a perfect world––and a man can dream––none of this would be necessary.
It seems I'm not alone in this, either. People had opinions of their own after Redditor Questwarrior asked the online community,
"What was the worst human invention ever made?"
"Cheap and easy to make..."
"Landmines. Cheap and easy to make, but they remain active and people forget where they put them."
"Styrofoam. It's toxic, can't be recycled, and there are better alternatives."
It also sounds horrible when rubbed against another piece of Styrofoam. Torturous.
"Now idiots can connect to each other..."
"Social Media - It gave people the ability to find others and create echo chambers. Before, idiots were isolated to dealing with just a few in their immediate radius of existence. Now idiots can connect to each other across the world and validate their thoughts/feelings."
This is very true. We're seeing the consequences, aren't we?
Ain't built like they used to - because they can't sell you a newer model if the old one is still performing like new.
If companies didn't have this in mind we wouldn't be running out of resources and messing up the planet in search of more. This would create less conflict and way less pollution. Imagine companies actually making insanely good, long-lasting products instead of cheap ones that needs replacing more often than it should."
"Heroin destroys people's lives every day."
"As a medical student..."
"As a medical student, I basically see people every day whose lives have been wrecked by smoking. Kids and unborn babies get messed over by tobacco smoke. Stupid and plain evil."
A great film about the tobacco industry: The Insider (1999). Really makes you think about the cost we all pay for Big Tobacco.
"I can't believe..."
"The concept of Flat Earth. I can't believe people are still stuck in the seventeenth century and still believe in that crap and try to defend it with their misunderstandings of science and physics, as well as pure ignorance."
People believe the most ridiculous things.
"They exist solely..."
"Torture devices. They exist solely to cause harm."
"How am I going to pay you..."
"Overdraft fees. How am I going to pay you EXTRA money when I don't have money?!"
Human beings are capable of so much innovation, beauty, and joy, but threads like these remind us of all the horrors in the world. There's a lot of darkness in humans, too.
Have some of your own contributions to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Homelessness is an unfortunate and all-too-common occurrence in the world, particularly in the United States. Homelessness has grown to a huge degree, and while most countries have the resources to help their homeless, many choose not to.
It is also difficult to break the cycle of homelessness once you have entered it. It creates a never-ending loop of failed job searching, lost or stolen goods/items/things of value, and stigmatization by society. More often than not, homelessness is begotten by another condition wherein the state or country fails to provide resources--such as mental health.
"Ex homeless people, what are some things people don't know about the streets?"
Here were some of those answers.
A Sad Reality
"My stint on the streets was about six months and due to some bad decisions I made. But what sticks with me the most was the crushing boredom."
"No intellectual stimulus at all because it's safer to keep your distance from other homeless, and you're not going to have a chat with civilian out of the blue."
"So you're completely alone all the time. And to avoid putting yourself in risky situations you stay on the move as much as possible."
"Most cities you can get some day labor work for quick cash but then you have to be careful about people knowing you have cash. You're always on the lookout."
"The only sound nights sleep I ever got was when I could manage to scrounge up enough cash to get a room in a transient hotel for a night and basically pass out from exhaustion."
"Other than that you're sleep deprived most of the time. And of course all this is made worse if on the streets in winter."-HardALee99
The Worst Side Of A Woman's Life (TW: Rape)
"I'm a psychiatric RN who works with mostly homeless people."
"I have heard SO MANY TIMES where women who tested positive for meth have said they use it to stay awake 24/7 to avoid being assaulted by other homeless."
Lucky To Be Alive
"People can and often do develop PTSD from being homeless, especially in rough areas. BF was kicked out at 14 in what was, at the time, the heroin capital of the Northeast, and he very quickly realized that selling drugs was the easiest way to make sure he had food/water/shelter as someone under legal age to work."
"But bouncing from crackhouse to crackhouse— especially as a kid— creates this state of constant hyper-vigilance, possessiveness over your belongings, a lot of hoarding behaviors, etc."
"Basically you wind up living in survival mode the entire time so you don't get assaulted/arrested/kidnapped/shanked."
"To this day if you touch him while he's sleeping he freaks the f**k out. Loud noises at night freak him out, car engines outside, lights in the window, etc."
"He still sleeps better on a couch in the corner of the room than a bed, because 'at least then you have something at your back, makes it harder for people to surprise you.'"
"Nightmares, too. Just... a whole bunch of sh*t, some of which I won't get into because he's embarrassed by it. Here are a few of the choice events he went through, though, just in the first two years or so:"
"He's almost had his throat slit with a half a DVD, woke up with a fork in his chest from some crazy chick, had all his food stolen, even had somebody inject him with heroin against his will while he was sleeping. Sad to think about."
"He's off the streets now, kicked a drug addiction, found a good-paying job, and is about to go to college. But the damage being homeless for his adolesence/early adulthood did..."
"It's going to be a while before he really feels safe. Not to mention he feels like a failure going to college at 30, but... I mean, how many people could have gone through all the horrific sh*t he went through, lived to tell the tale, AND somehow managed to keep going and eventually recover?"-vishuual
Homelessness is even expensive for the country because it leads to more and more problems that resources have to be expended upon in order to deal with the mental health and physical trauma it causes.
Over And Over
"One thing that f**ked me up was my concept of time. Often I'd be up late as f**k trying to sleep and before I knew it, the sun's back up."
"You gotta plan your day differently to use the restroom and it's hard to even find anything 'normal' to do because there are so little resources."
"People don't realize that being homeless is a situation in which no one is really looking to help you to find a sustainable life. It's truly being otherized and ostracized until you die or miraculously get back on the work grind."-SuperDuperChuck
Not An Addict
"I guess the worst part for me was the lasting trauma."
"Sure walking around in sandals because it's all you have when it's raining sucks. Sure sleeping in public is terrifying. Yeah homeless shelters are packed out. Borderline impossible to get a job."
"But the worst part was realising I'd lost some fundamental part of myself and I wasn't getting it back. Innocence maybe?"
"But it's more than that, it's like that Lily Allen music video where she's walking around with rose coloured glasses but the audience sees what's real. Yeah well, you lose the glasses and you never get them back."
"There's nothing that fixes the trauma of knowing people who you thought were your friends or family were fully aware you had nowhere to go and didn't do anything about it."
"You can't fix that feeling of your best friend not returning your texts until you're back on your feet. Or the stares you get in the street when thousands of people walk past and don't stop."
"I'm physically ok now but I'll never see people the same way again. I don't know how to. I used to be a really sociable person and now I steer clear of most people. I don't trust anyone."
"Also as an aside, the people who were kindest to me were always working class. A construction worker who bought me lunch. A taxi driver who got me a blanket. Rich people treat you like utter filth and disappear ASAP."
"I was homeless due to domestic violence as well, but people just assume it must be drugs. I literally barely drink let alone use drugs, but in people's minds homeless = addict."-SunnydaleHigh1999
Stop Stigmatizing Homelessness
"The amount of 'ordinary' people there are that are homeless. I was homeless for about 6 months but you would have never known."
"I had job where I could make just enough to stay fed and get a gym membership. I kept all my clothes in the gym/ back room of the restaurant I worked at."
"I'd hide and sleep in the back office of the restaurant. A lot of homeless people have cars and can sleep in them."
"Gym memberships are the easiest ways to stay clean/ not look homeless. Once my boss found out I was homeless, he let me move into a room at a hotel he managed for free. That man saved my life."-SeamanTheSailor
Food Or Money?
"People seem to have this perception that food is the only thing a homeless person would need to use money on and so they will give food in place of money."
"While giving food is nice, it isn't some one-to-one replacement for money. Food can't help you get cleaned up for job interviews, for example."-CattyPlatty
And homelessness is caused by a number of things--most of which are failures of the government. There are enough vacant homes in the United States for every homeless person to have 6.
Policing Your Own Cleanliness
"What's really important is staying clean. But not so clean people won't give you money if you have to panhandle."
"Don't let people know where you sleep if you can help it."
"Don't take work offers alone, you never know what kind of sicko's there are out there, especially once they have you alone in their environment."-Tired_of_yer_ish
Read That Part Again About How Close You Are To Homelessness
"Former homeless person here (as a child and an adult) and someone who used to work helping folks who were unhoused due to violence get housing:"
"-You are more likely to become homeless than win the lottery. Most Americans (around 60%, that number has probably changed in the pandemic) are one missed paycheck away from homelessness."
"-As shared above, lack of quality jobs, affordable inventory (meaning not enough affordable housing), and integrative and trauma-informed heath care services are the leading causes that keep people unhoused."
"All this to say, you have far more in common with people on the street than you think you do. Please see them as people. I will never forget what it felt like to have someone's eyes slide right past me like I was invisible. "
"No one is expecting you alone to end homelessness, but you can give someone $10 for a laundromat or shower, or say hello."-AbolitionistCapybara
Why Is It Illegal To Have The System Fail You?
"I was homeless with my single mom at the age of 9. In the US it is basically illegal to be homeless but it is definitely illegal to be homeless and have a homeless kid."
"My mom was a great mom. We just hit a really rough patch in the 2008 financial crisis in the US causing my mom to lose her job."
"She could not get another one and we ended up living in her mini van. However she was always able to get me food and get me to school. I am not sure how she was able to keep our situation a secret but I was so ashamed of living in a car that I wasn't about to tell anyone about it."
"I think it is twisted that the government would rather place kids with strangers and give those strangers money to take care of the kid than to help that kids family find stability."
"Furthermore my boyfriend was in the foster system for a number of years and has a few horror stories from it. I feel lucky that I was homeless with my mother and that we were able to get out of that situation in comparison to what my boyfriend went through in his childhood living with abusive foster parents."-psychologicalfuntime
The bottom line is that homelessness is not the fault of the homeless. It is the fault of a system that criminalizes a lack of resources and support, especially in the USA, the wealthiest country in the world.
What would we gain by continuing to criticize and stigmatize homeless people across the country?
It's amazing what the legalities are from place to place. I live in New England, and in Connecticut, passengers are allowed to drink alcohol in the car, as long as they aren't driving. Weed isn't legal there, but open containers in the car? Totally fine. At least we have something to look forward to as we cross the border.
There are some truly strange laws depending on where you go. Here is a list of the weirdest ones.
Did you know that murder is allowed in certain instances, depending on where you go? Talk about scary.
I’m sure no one will test these laws.
Not sure how much of it is true. But apparently if the Swedes cross the border by walking over the ice given its frozen over, (which it hasn't in like more than 100 years) we are allowed to kill them.
The exact gates they have to be within are defined but I don't remember what they are.
Dying is illegal in France.Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Oh boy. France has some history and a love of regulation. Perfect mix for absurd laws. Quick examples:
It's still technically mandatory to have hay at home in case the king's horse is nearby and needs some... Horses have been a pretty rare sight, let alone kings.
A mayor made it illegal to die in his town. The initial problem was an overcrowded cemetery, but he kinda reached the wrong solution.
This probably isn’t enforced anymore.
There is a medieval law here that has never been repealed: all males over the age of 14 are required by law to practice longbow for at least two hours per week.
Some of these laws are so silly, they make you wonder what event happened that put them in place.
I think everyone has done this.
"Forbidden to pee in the ocean". I live in Portugal.
'Like a piss in the ocean' is literally a euphemism for something not mattering. What's the problem?
Tigers are fine, though.film history GIF by DiggGiphy
It's illegal to bring a lion to the movies.
Somebody better have a conversation with MGM.
You can't carry a salmon suspiciously.
"No officer, I was going to eat it later"
"Seems suspicious you were carrying it around in public. I'm gonna have to take you in for questioning."
What is the backstory here?
It's illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors here.
I know this is Pennsylvania, but I forget the exact reasoning, but I think it has something to do with homeless people.
These next few laws will definitely make you question these towns’ legitimacy when it comes to lawmaking.
Poor raccoons.raccoon stealing GIFGiphy
In Virginia, it's illegal to "hunt or kill any wild bird or wild animal, including any nuisance species" on Sundays. However, it is permissible to kill raccoons.
How the heck is this enforced?
I don't know if this is still a thing anymore, but in Texas it used to be illegal to own more than six dildos.
It's illegal to own any at all in Alabama unless the owner has a letter from a doctor claiming a legitimate medical need.
Granted, most of these laws were written a very long time ago. But it makes you wonder, what the heck were these original lawmakers doing? And what event happened that needed these laws to be enforced at all?
If some of these laws don't make you want to be a criminal, then I don't know what will