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Drug Dealers Explain Why They've Called Child Protective Services On Their Customers

Drug Dealers Explain Why They've Called Child Protective Services On Their Customers
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

It's always interesting to hear about a "flipped script" situation.

For example, most people wouldn't think that dealers would call government officials on their clients, since they are generally breaking the law themselves.

But sometimes the situation just demands it.

u/Many-Bees asked:

[Serious] Drug dealers of Reddit, have you ever called CPS on a client? If so, what's the story?

Here were some of those answers.

A Happier Ending

This was a long time ago, and I've since gotten clean and started my own family.

But there was a girl I knew who was homeless with her newborn son. On Easter weekend, I was walking on this trail to go meet with some people to sell them a sack. It started raining and that, of course, made me mad. There's these bridges that cross over the top of the trail and lots of kids gather and smoke or get spun under the bridges...

And that's where I found her. She was passed out drunk with some random guy under the bridge while her newborn baby sat strapped in his car seat in the rain. He wasn't under the bridge. He was crying. And he looked dirty.

I didn't have any children at this point, but I panicked seeing the little guy. I grabbed him, dropped all the shit I was supposed to be selling, and walked off the trail and up the couple blocks to the police station. I told them what happened and where I'd found him. Cps took him and he ended up getting adopted.

ladykage6829

How To Save A Life

When I was selling to her a lady SHOOK HER CRYING BABY in front of me. I wigged out, took the baby, dumped ~500 worth of goods and called 911 from my car. She didn't put up a fight until the cops came to arrest her. She tried to sue me for kidnapping.

Definitely not the best strategy for me (I was 18 and addicted pretty bad) but when the baby saw a doctor under state care he was covered in bruises, a couple of burns, and had 2 broken ribs already. I'm convinced she would have killed him. He's ten now and happy and thriving. The whole experience (and legal battle when she tried to have me charged with kidnapping) is how I got sober.

divebar-princess

A Life On Drugs

I used to deal way back when I was a hot mess in an extremely abusive relationship. I called CPS on not only 1 person, but 6. The one that sticks with me most though, not only because of the severity but because I called twice, was this couple who used to pick up from me at a laundromat and we ended up seeing each other often enough I felt okay to go to their place. I was so floored when I stepped through that door.

I kid you not, they had taken up all the carpeting in the house, and had torn down the walls to get at the copper wiring and pipes. They had no electricity or running water. There was nothing in that house except for some sleeping bags in what used to be the living room. And then I noticed a nest of blankets with bright blue eyes peering at me over the pile and realized that there was a toddler and a small child no more than 5. Until this point, I had never seen nor heard them talk about having kids.

The poor kids were filthy and obviously malnourished. The house stunk of meth so badly I gagged. I couldn't believe it. I guess the look of shock was super apparent on my face because the dad said they were squatting and introduced me to their kids. I made some small talk and then left. The phone was ringing for CPS before I closed my car door. I gave them the address and let them know the conditions of the home and they were squatting with two small children. Gave the names of the parents as I knew them and the names of the kids.

They ended up going to jail for the squatting and the kids went to live with a relative. They ended up contacting me back to sell to them after they were bailed out of jail and I never responded. However, the guy I was with at the time ended up selling to them and they were living in a field in a tent with the kids. I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend over it and was so disgusted he still sold to them. I ended up calling CPS on them again. From what I heard from other people that knew them, the kids were taken permanently after that and about a year later the mom ended up going to prison for attempted murder and the dad went to prison for check fraud some weeks after that.

witterpated

A Mess, And A Danger

Former dealer here. I once had a lady come in the trap house with a newborn. She was literally selling herself and or her baby for a "a few rocks". When I saw the newborn in used diapers and dirty AF I let her smoke and leave. I also called - BCW - Bureau of Children's Welfare on her as soon as she walked out. She lived on my street. I couldn't let her try to sell her baby. I couldn't let her keep it either. I just couldn't call the police. The baby was in a foster home less than a week later. The lady disappeared shortly after. I never saw her again. I hope she never got the baby back. She was a real piece of work.

Konvick

Why Don't People Care About Their Babies?

Ah yes back when I was younger, maybe 17 I got my first job at Domino's pizza. One of my managers was a really scummy 24 year old guy that looked like a troll, had astoundingly bad hygiene and also a bad attitude but sold good weed and bought me cigarettes. This was my first experience having older friends able to get me good stuff on demand like that. One day he hooked me up with a friend of his that was selling mushrooms, so I met with that guy and bought an ounce, and then walked to my managers house to sell him some and also get some weed. So turns out him and his similarly aged sister, who has a 1 year old baby, both live in makeshift bedsheet bedrooms in the basement of the tiny house.

They smoked inside, windows closed. Cats everywhere, bugs everywhere, weird gross sour smells coming from all areas. Everything gross. Their mom was home but she was senile and addicted to painkillers (as well as the sister). So we did the trade downstairs and when I go back upstairs I go to the kitchen to throw some stuff away and I see the baby in a highchair.... Eating a pack of cigarettes. He's just sitting there tearing them open and putting in his mouth and spitting it out. I ran downstairs and told the sister and she just started yelling "mom! Mom get the baby!", a couple times lazily, then gives up and goes back to just sitting there. It was surreal. I hadn't ever experienced such neglect and disgust from people. I left and waited 2 days to call cps because I didn't want my manager to know it was me who called. I know the kids got taken away and she went to live with a different family member, or at least that's what I was told.

Predicted_Text

Let Kids Be Kids

Twice. Left anonymous tips, which I know are hard to follow up for such a strained child protection agency, but as dealer it was all I felt I could do.

I found out later one of the kids was put into foster care, adopted by the foster parents, and recently graduated a trade school.

I have no idea about the other kids (siblings). But I hope they made it too.

Kids should be protected. Humans only get one childhood. Let's let kids enjoy it, and grow to happy adults. Don't hurt them intentionally or by your own stupidity**.

**that also means washing your hands people.

When/if you need to report to CPS you flood them with details. Lots of details. It's the only way they can act. A one sentence tip won't cut it.

uber-judge

So...You're Poisoning Your Kids

A friend of my girlfriend introduced us to her neighbors who were like 50-60 year old hippies that looked like a bad acid trip but bought weed regularly for full price.

Couple months down the road they start being more friendly with my girlfriend and I and start talking more when we'd go drop off the stuff. The topic began with her telling us how she has custody of her daughters oldest born because her daughter was sitting time at a women's prison. Back story on the kid - looks 15 but clearly has the mind capacity of a 6 or 7 year old, not sure what was wrong with her specifically but you could tell there were issues. Near the end of the conversation about her daughter she brought up the fact that her granddaughter was prescribed adderall 30xr and whenever they got her prescription they'd dump all the little beads into a bowl to use whenever they couldn't find meth or whatever they needed and instead fill the adderall with Benadryl to make the kid sleep.

Till this day I'll never forget the emotions I felt after getting out of there and sitting in my car. My hands were shaking so bad it was hard to google information about cps, much less type information in. I felt goosebumps in every pore of my scalp. As a father of two I never knew such evil existed. Obviously in movies but never experienced something first hand like that.

acadiia

The Lives In The Long Run

This is a sad story but I'll tell it anyways because it was the past. There have been sooo many stories but this one takes the cake. It's the reason I stopped selling and turned my life around.

I must've been 16 or 17 at the time. I was in High School, also had a part time job at Dairy Queen and on top school and regular job, I was also selling weed and cigarettes at school.

This story involves a crack user. At the time of this incident, I've already been selling hard for about 1 or 2 years. Profit was pretty good (I'd say around $300 per day on average which was great for my age) but I spent money as fast as it came, I was young and I was dumb.

So the incident is in this addicts house. He (about 50 year old man) has a girlfriend/partner or something like that. The girlfriend had a little boy, maybe the age of 3/4/5. At the time I didn't know how to tell how old a kid was. I didn't ask either because I was ashamed of myself for not preventing his mother from using. This kid though, I felt like he was my little brother in some way, I would cook for him when he was hungry and his mom was always too messed up to do anything.


One day, I go to work at the shack. It was a regular day. I get into the house, get my products ready, weigh out the stuff and bag them up. Knock on the bedroom door of the guy (home owner), I see him sleeping. His girlfriend is also on the couch sleeping because she is always high and messed up. The kid is just sitting there watching TV. I make him some macaroni and cheese.

Now I gotta wake up the guy because I need an update on what products he's moved the day before. So I go in his room. I see his eyes were still open. White foam all over him like he's overdosed. It's normal for me to see overdoses but this was beyond an overdose. He's been overdosed for too long which means he's dead. He was probably overdosed for at least 10 hours because I could smell it and he was cold to the touch. His vomit was dried and his eyes were dried.

Now I'm in one of the biggest panics I've ever been in. As I'm trying to figure out what to do, I sit down with the kid and stay there until he finishes his mac n cheese, thinking about what I'm going to do next. His mom, sleeping behind me on the couch is still alive but has no idea what'd happened or maybe she does, I don't know.

I left the shack. Drove about 2 blocks away. Use the prepaid cell phone I have to call the police and report it. Sat in my car until the police showed up.

From that day on, I am anti-hard drugs. I still wonder about the little kid, he's probably 16 now without a mom. Every time I see the mac n cheese at the supermarket I get this awful feeling in my gut. And for the guy that died, I know I didn't kill him (I've accepted that), but could he have lived longer if I was never in his life? His life story was pretty amazing, he did cool things when he was young. He got into drugs when his mom passed away, he didn't have a dad though.

One tip for anyone reading this: Never judge a person on where they are in life, even if they are "crack heads" as many people would say. Some people go through the most brutal situations and have no love and support to get on their feet. I'm glad I was able to be the mans friend before he died and I know I treated the kid as a big brother/father and I hope he remembers that part.

TheRollsRoyce

Things That Turn Your Life Around

Yes. I was a stupid teenager and thought I was a hot-shot from selling to my peers. The money was nice but at the time it was more for social standing. Eventually it got so out of hand that I was selling to peoples uncles, fathers, aunts, and cousins. It was pretty daunting as a teenager but like I said, the money way good and so was the social standing

One day a buddy calls me up and asks me if I'm good go. I tell him yes and ask him how much. He informs me that its for his mom (that he doesn't live with) and we go through the whole dance of him calling her, then calling me, then calling her again to set up the deal.

Eventually the amount and price gets set and I hop in my old car to the next town over to make the deal. Now I'm used to nasty houses. I live on the cusp of suburbs, city, and rural, so you see all sorts of folks in your daily life. But this one was a special little house. The best way I can set the scene up is the scene in breaking bad when Jesse goes into those meth heads house, but they weren't on meth.


Ive seen my fair share of dope-heads but these took the cake. It took about 30 minutes for them to let me in and when they did the stench was like a punch in the face. You couldn't even see the floor. All sorts of trash covering the carpet of the apartment. Honestly at this point it didn't even phase me, I made the deal and took the money but during the awkward small-talk I heard a little "coo" from the room over.

Im not the most confrontational person but they were so strung-out that I wasn't threatened at all. I asked them what that sound was and they said it was their baby. I asked how old. they said 7 months. I immediately took stock of the room around me. Rotting food, cat poo, garbage bags everywhere.

I left that apartment complex and sat in my car debating whether I would get busted if I called the police. Eventually I googled CPS and made an anonymous claim. Nothing happened to me and the kid got taken away.

Neither of them know it was me that called and I stopped selling and went through rehab in 2016. Clean ever since. Judging by their facebooks they're still trying to get that kid back. I really hope they don't.

Roast_Chikkin

Do Your Part For Your Kids

Not sure if this counts, but in the late 1990s, I used to sell part-time while I was in college. One of my regular customers turned his sister on to me. She called for a delivery. No big deal. I went there one time... She had three little kids. Like a couple toddlers and an infant. Her house was FULL of cockroaches. I was disgusted. I called CPS. Not because of the drugs and babies, but because of how filthy that house was. It caused a lot of problems for her and her boyfriend. They were in the system for a long time. Not sure how it all turned out. But, screw that woman.

Slummish

cps

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

– OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

– CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

internet rumors

People Share Their Best 'Don't Ask How I Know That' Fun Facts

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

dont ask

People Break Down The Times They Had To Sober Up Real Fast

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

The Most Ridiculous 'First World Problems' People Have Heard Someone Complain About

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.


problems