Doctors must have the craziest jobs in the world.
Urgent care doctors and hospital doctors in particular deal with such a strange assortment of cases on a daily basis. Statistically, there is no way all these cases (nor people) are sane.
Here were some of those answers.
I had a patient with a cut in his mouth casually say "you know when you're chewing on some glass and...". I had to stop him and ask for clarification. Apparently after he finished a bottle of beer he would just...bite into it? He said he liked the feeling of chewing on the glass. Nice guy tho.
E: To address a request for more context. I was a paramedic student doing a clinical rotation in the ER. Guy comes in complaining of bleeding "more than usual." I dunno if it was a pica thing, but he did admit to frequent and recent prior meth use.
Tis Close To Schizo
Am the patient. All my life I thought I had really good hearing and could hear the electricity in the walls. Well I stated hearing and seeing other things too and am apparently likely schizoaffective according to my psychiatrist.
I always have had trouble breathing during exercise, but my mom said I was just lazy and called me "the family couch potato." I always had cough that would linger for months after a cold or flu, so in general I coughed all winter. My mom called it a "winter cough" and didn't worry about it.
My college roommate was worried about my cough and recommended I go to the doctor. I was like, oh no, it's just a winter cough! She was like, "that's...that is not a thing." Yeah turns out I have permanently damaged lungs from years of untreated asthma and pneumonia.
Just A Bit Off
Am a doctor. A guy came in complaining about constipation and back pain. His main complaint was constipation as his back has been hurting for years but its gotten so bad he cant get out of bed anymore and seldom eats. I get a bad feeling and order up some lab work. It comes back and its like good with a few hiccups but nothing unusual for a man in his age who hasn't been to a checkup in years.
Bad feeling persists and i order a full body scan on him despite having no actual evidence of anything. Aaaand its cancer, every single bone in his spine was full of tumors.
Double Jointed Jaw
I can lock my jaw open in a weird dislocation type of way, it doesn't hurt or anything. During a cleaning at the dentist I locked it open so it would be easier for the both of us; my dentist had a total freak-out and pulled like 3 other people into the room to show them. I always thought everyone could do it but I guess not.
Veering Off Course
I'm the patient, but I use to think we sucked at walking as a society. Seems like everyone was walking into each other and not paying attention.
Nope. Turns out I was losing my peripheral vision and it was just me running into people like a jack*ss.
More Parenting Help Please
Not a doctor but a nurse. Mother brought toddler in for distended belly. Asked several questions, including how toddler was eating, if she'd eaten anything different. She mentioned the toddler ate paper, string, hair, etc. often. Mom was truly surprised all toddlers don't do this. Thankfully there was no blockage and the distention was benign. Doctor referred mom to see their pediatrician for PICA.
Other than that, I've typically only worked with people who were aware when something they did wasn't "normal".
Getting Back Cotter
Apparently, having constant upper back pain and muscle tightness is not normal. Before the pain got unbearable, I thought that my family was just predisposed to having back pain (My dad, grandmother, and various other relatives have similar issues). Then I saw a doctor and was told that apparently I had severely injured my back very early in life, which made my muscles spasm so hard that they could not loosen back up without medical intervention. I no longer have such bad upper back pain, and on the upside, my neck/shoulder muscles are swole as all hell now.
A Step From A Stroke
One time I was talking to a doctor during a routine check up. He asked about sleep disturbance and I said I was sleeping fine, though occasionally just as I was dozing off I would hear a loud bang or a scream or some other sudden noise that would wake me back up. He asked if I experienced any other sensory disturbances and I said sometimes I would smell words. Long story short it turns out a meningitis infection when I was a child left me with mild brain damage.
Was It A Disorder?
Patient here. I was very young when I had my first period. Single digits. They were ok till I hit ten and had 100+ days period. That was super heavy, like 4-6 pads an hour. Went to the gyno and was told it was normal for women to have this happen. 20 years later still getting the 100+ days periods I find out it's PCOS with a dab of endo.