We all pretended to be sick at least once when we were children to get out of going to school to avoid a test, game, or assembly we'd been dreading.
Some people still might not have given up the habit of feigning illness, as a means of avoiding work or other occasions that they are less than eager to attend.
Sometimes, simply telling people that you're "sick" is all the information you need to share to get out of it.
Whether or not more concrete proof is needed, others might go a step further in faking their ailment, be it a cold or fever, and often pull off fairly convincing performances.
Sometimes even fooling a doctor.
Redditor LegoYoda420 was curious to hear about the most outrageous instances doctors have witnessed of people concocting an illness or ailment, leading them to ask:
"Doctors of Reddit, what's the biggest case of 'faking it' you've ever seen?"
That's One Large Pain Threshold...
"Taking trauma call during surgery residency, had a prisoner come in after a fight and claimed he couldn’t move or feel his legs."
"All the CT scans and MRIs were normal, but we would shield his legs so he couldn’t see them and poke them with needles and other sharp objects, with enough force to cause pain- he never flinched or moved his legs at all."
"He was diagnosed with SCIWORA, spinal cord injury without radiographic abnormality."
"He stayed in the hospital for a week, no improvement."
"Always had one guard with him."
"One night they were down in the lobby watching some television but the guard needed to use the restroom."
"The patient said, 'where could I possibly go?'"
"I’m paralyzed!'"
"Guard left him alone for two minutes."
"Patient last seen sprinting down the road, naked butt cheeks flapping in the breeze."
"Made it to a city four hours away by car before he was caught again."
"I have never seen anyone fake it so well."
"Truly playing the long con!"- Wine_and_sunshine
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You'll Have To Do Better Than That...
"Dermatologist here."
"Patient was convinced she had a melanoma and needed a biopsy and would need to be on workers comp."
"I told her it looked like ink from a marker."
"She demanded a biopsy."
"I wiped the area off with an alcohol swab and showed her the ink and that there was no spot on her skin anymore."
"She stormed out threatening to sue."
"I'm just glad I cured her melanoma."- Richter915
No Complaints Here...
"Had a patient come in for a fall who now couldn’t move their legs at all."
"Did a bunch of tests, didn’t find anything."
"The patient was not at all phased by suddenly being paralyzed which was the first red flag."
"Didn’t really believe anything was wrong but the patient was still not moving their legs."
"My options are to admit for a huge work up or get them to walk."
"So I update them saying everything is fine, tests are negative, you can go home."
"Patient gets up, gets dressed and walks out without a word."- meropenem24
There's Clearly One Issue She Wasn't Faking...
"Not a doctor but worked in health care for nearly 20yrs."
"While taking a break from the ICU, due to it being emotionally draining, I worked in home health for a bit."
"I had a patient who clearly had Munchausen syndrome."
"On a daily basis she would call her insurance to see what things would be covered if she was diagnosed with this or that."
"She called her Doctor's office an average of 5x during my shift with her, she would report all kinds of non real symptoms."
"She pestered the doctors into doing exploitive laparoscopic surgery, of course nothing was found."
"One day I walked in and she was rubbing her incisions with rotten cabbage trying to get it infected."
"She wasn't seeking pain meds, except to sell, really she was just as happy with antibiotics or stool softeners, anything, as long as they wrote her a prescription and she got to go to the pharmacy where she did a whole song and dance for them too, claiming allergies and reactions."
"She always increased the exaggeration of her story too."
"One time she fluttered her eyes, after making sure I was looking, and said she lost consciousness in that half a second."
"She called the doctor and claimed she lost consciousness for 5mins, she called the insurance and claimed it was 10min, she called the pharmacy and claimed it was 30min, then she called 911 and told them she woke up on the floor after losing consciousness for 4hrs."
"The worst thing about her was she was a mom."
"Her son was 28 at the time and by all the stories of his childhood illnesses and all her saying how he is severely disabled I knew she basically f**ked up his childhood with Munchausen by proxy."
"She portrayed him as being severely disabled and that's why he would never find a wife."
"I met him, he was healthy and of average intelligence."
"He wasn't looking for a wife, he was gay, but she refused to accept that."
"Working with her was so miserable that I took a couple years off from any and all healthcare after that."- invisible_for_this
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She Only Thought She Was Faking It.
"Young, 18-20, Woman went running into small rural hospital ER pretending to have abdominal pain."
"Police officer had tagged her going 40+km over the limit which was ‘stunt driving’ as per the new law in Ontario, impound and licsence suspension automatic."
"Cop followed her into ER and apparently said he’d be waiting for her when she left."
"Locum staff such as myself were housed at a small B&B about 15 mins away, and the ER had pre-printed order sets to be done before we arrived."
"When I arrived she flat out admitted that she just came in because she freaked out and didn’t stop."
"I told her we’d give her 45 mins to call her parents/family before I booted her."
"Except, bHCG came back positive, and subsequent ultrasound came back showing extremely early ectopic."
"Officer figures out something is up when he hears air ambulance call come in over radio."
"She was completely asymptomatic and just worked out that she dodged both charges and a life-threatening issue by accident."
"It was definitely a WTF moment."
"A little more info, small rural hospitals in Northern Ontario often service areas from more than an hours drive away and still only have a catchment area of 2000-3000 people."
"When on-call it was just that, we would do our days in the community clinic, then maybe hospital rounds, then go home and be on call; we wouldn’t be at the hospital, there wasn’t an on-call room where you would stay for example."
"There were lots of times that you’d go a full night without being woken up, or maybe just a call from the acute care inpatient wing."
"Locums were short term contracts for places that didn’t have full time medical staff for whatever reason."
"It’s hard to attract clinicians if you don’t even have broadband internet in the community."
"They generally pay very well."- Graigori
Lighten Your Load!
"I'm not a Doctor, but I have a hilarious story to tell of my ex faking it."
"So my first abusive ex is a compulsive liar."
"She would lie about ANYTHING, big or small!"
"She lied about a serious spinal medical condition, until I found her medical report that states she does indeed have an infusion of only 2 lower vertebrae."
"But not the condition she claimed to have."
"After I discovered this, she immediately quit her bullsh*t."
"But only for about a year."
"It was a long time ago now, but she basically claimed to have a much more severe condition, involving her WHOLE SPINE."
"She used this to get out of practical lessons in College, but what made me suspicious is the fact that she ALWAYS carried around the HEAVIEST backpack."
"I had to go through her bag to sort out what she needs and doesn't need, just to lighten the load, with consent, of course, and it did stop her complaining about back pains."
"However, after finding the note, she stopped using her back as a way to not do practicals, and she stopped using it as a way to not do any work outside of College."
"It was a miracle!"
"The story with the doctor starts here, though."
"One day, she laid on the couch, way after the spine lie fiasco, complaining that her back hurts and she can't breathe."
"I lifted her backpack, and wouldn't you know it?"
"It was really. F*cking. Heavy."
"We went to College 3 days a week, which she would carry this thing all the way around for the 8 hours each day!"
"But, she also carried it everywhere she went outside of College, meaning work, too."
"I'd carry it at times, cuz I'm not a d*ck, and would prefer to keep her happy and healthy."
"Anyway. I left her bag alone, didn't empty it just in case."
"I left her alone on the couch, cuz I knew she was over-exaggerating."
"Yeah, I know, I was a d*ck."
"Honestly though, after all the abuse, lies, and the many many times she wouldn't accept a breakup, I just kinda gave up caring, but I could always tell when she was lying."
"She's a terrible liar."
"Later, my mother decides we're taking her to the hospital."
"Apparently she wouldn't stop moaning."
"So we went, my mother dropped us off, and we waited in the waiting room after checking in at the desk."
"The beginning was still the play, but I explained again that it might just be the bag."
"She still wouldn't agree, so we sat there, I gave her love and attention, and we had normal lovey chit-chat."
"I kept observing her bpm (breaths per minute), and noticed that they lowered from quick and short, to normal, while she focused on talking to me or playing games on my phone."
"The immediately came back when we were called, though."
"She wanted me in with her, as she was nervous."
"So I went in with her, she talked to the Nurse about her difficulties, no mention of back pain this time, while I held her hand."
"During the ECG, I stopped holding her hand of course, and I had to quickly shush her when she wanted to speak, not rudely, it's just because vocal vibrations can alter an ECG's results."
"And then there was the stethoscope BPM observations, etc."
"The Nurse seemed to be sure there was an issue, but then some people would agree with the casualty to avoid confrontation."
"She said she'd have to get the Doctor, and left."
"My ex then rubbed it in my face that there was something wrong with her after all."
"I was never nasty to her, I was loving and caring throughout, after trying to help in the beginning, but not giving too much of a sh*t."
"So this was unexpected, and kinda ticked me off, but I stayed calm."
"I still gave her love, care and attention, but told her politely that we'd still have to wait for the Doctor."
"The Doctor arrived with the results, and asked my ex a few things."
"My ex's face was a suite to behold!"
"She couldn't answer anything he was asking, because he was asking questions that obviously implied there was nothing off with her results!"
"Meaning there was nothing wrong with her at all, and I was right!"
"Anyway, he asked the questions he needed to ask."
"I don't remember the exact questions, but they were basically 'what have you been doing recently?'"
"'Have you been doing any strenuous exercises?' etc., and she couldn't answer."
"Then he asked me what I thought could be the issue."
"I hadn't spoken to the Nurse or Doctor until this point, bear in mind."
"I told him about her backpack."
"THE backpack that my ex BROUGHT WITH HER TO THE HOSPITAL!"
"He said that is the most likely cause of her discomfort, and advised I carry the bag for her and empty any unnecessary items to make it lighter."
"I agreed, and we were dismissed."
"My ex's face was the ultimate face of defeat!"
"I didn't rub it in her face though, like she did to me. I actually hugged her, grabbed her bag for her and walked out with her, holding her hand and ensuring her she'd be okay."
"Basically just being a loving and supportive boyfriend."
"She stopped the rapid breathing and complaining of breathing difficulties after this."
"Although, she actually stopped just before the Doctor came in the room, so yeah."
"Thanks for reading!"- Dregar12
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They Weren't Entirely Wrong About Being "Humiliated".
"Once when I was in elementary, I got really bored and decided I would fake being sick."
"At the time, the word 'humiliated' was a new word for me, but I didn't know what it meant."
"My brain thought it was something like flustered or nauseous."
"I told the secretary at my school that I was so sick and was feeling humiliated."
"I was so stupid."
"Another time, my friend decided to try and skip school and twisted up some tissue paper into some kind of stick. "
"He shoved it up his nose until his face was red and his eyes went teary."
"It was a successful plot!"- the_prophecy_is_true
Don't Trick Your Parents Too Many Times...
"It’s kinda the opposite way round, but when I was little, on Christmas Day, I was sitting at the table and my stomach starting to hurt."
"A lot."
"I was a good kid and never misbehaved but for some reason my mum thought I was exaggerating or faking so she told me to stop being silly and eat up."
"I couldn’t eat."
" I felt horrible and was in a lot of pain."
"My mum just would not believe me and thought I was trying to get attention."
"About 5 more minutes of me crying and she realized something was wrong so called the doctor and put me on the sofa."
"So, that was the Christmas I missed because my appendix had burst."
"I spent a couple of months in hospital due to complications with the surgery and missed both Christmas and my birthday."
"Apparently they had caught it just in time as it could very well had been fatal."
"My family still donates what they can to the children’s wing of that hospital as that was the first of 3 times they saved my life."- PastelCurlies
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Faking Illness To Cover A Real Illness...
"When I was between the ages of 4 and 13, I suffered from persistent UTIs."
"Actually, I was a mystery case in my hospital."
"No one could figure out the reason they just kept coming back."
"Anyway, this meant I would occasionally get the sudden need to pee, extremely intensely."
"If I wasn't within two meters of a bathroom I would pee myself."
"Obviously, being a teenager at school this was excruciatingly embarrassing."
"I often faked foot or leg injuries so I could either sit down and try to suppress the urge, or cover up my wet clothes."
"I was once discovered by my PE teacher to be faking, when she offered to bring a wheelchair out."
"Of course I tried to stop her, and it miraculously got better, whoops."
"Anyway, not much point to this story apart from bladder/kidney issues truly suck and I would never wish that upon anyone."- abisexualqueen
If Anyone Should Believe You, It's Doctors...
"Other way around for me."
"When I was 8 I went to Michigan to visit family with my dad."
"I got really sick on the flight back."
"So my dad took me to the hospital in the city we where in."
"The doctors and nurses thought I was fake wheezing and coughing."
"Then I passed out then woke up in my home town hospital with my parents grandparents and my pediatrician."- Noble611
Return Visitor
"We have a guy that comes into the ER all the time faking seizures."
"Best actor I’ve ever seen."
"Sternal rub and he doesn’t flinch."
"Last time it was so bad he got intubated and right as they pushed the meds he stopped and said 'ahhh that’s the good stuff'."
"Welp now we gotta tube you dude."
"Problem is he’s a drunk who falls a lot so he could in theory really be seizing."
"Biggest rule of medicine is even fakers get sick sometimes."- cbelle4
It's hard to blame someone for faking illness to get out of something that they really don't want to do.
But when you actually try to get doctors involved in your deception, you might want to question if it's really worth it.
After all, let's not forget the story of "the boy who cried wolf"...
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.