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These Are The Adult Equivalent Of Finding Out Santa Isn't Real

These People Made HUGE Mistakes

These People Made HUGE Mistakes

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

People Reveal What They Didn't Understand As A Kid That Makes Perfect Sense Now

I get it now!

People Reveal What They Didn't Understand As A Kid That Makes Perfect Sense Now
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Oprah says it best, it's amazing when you reach life's Ah-Ha moments. The things that we learn as we age can be life altering. Often you look back and wonder... "how was I so dense?" Then there are always those moments of clarity where you think.... "now how can I un-learn this?

Redditor u/xXRealMWXx wanted to compare notes on life lessons by asking.... What did you not understand as a kid, but you now understand as an adult?

There is an Ah-ha Moment!

Giphy

You wouldn't care what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they think of you. lilmisssuccubus

Thanks Alanis.... 

The Alanis Morissette lyric "You're my best friend / best friend with benefits" from "Head Over Feet." I told my parents that my best friend was my best friend with benefits when I was like 8, and they laughed hysterically and I just assumed it's because they weren't cool and into Alanis' music and didn't understand that it clearly meant "super best friend." And in a way I guess it does mean that. bripatrick

Ho-Ho... NO.

That my parents couldn't just double the presents this Christmas if I tell them it's okay to not do anything for next Christmas. Maplemore

Alright Johnny, it's time we had a talk about Time Value of Money. ofthedove

Left, Right and Sideways....

The whole "my right vs. your right" thing confused the heck out of me as a preschooler. I knew my own lefts and rights but when my mom was facing me and used to say "my right isn't the same as your right." I learned to just do the opposite of what she looked like. Problem is this led to me thinking that the difference was because of AGE, so kid's lefts and rights were the opposite of adult's lefts and rights. So somehow I got the idea in my head that when you turned 21 your lefts and rights switched (I have no clue why I specifically thought 21, I had this image in my head of blowing out 21 candles and everyone saying congratulations and you get some kind of certificate to officially switch them). Well I'm 21 now and my lefts and rights never switched. tripper74

You made it through the wilderness....

Giphy

I didn't know what virginity was and my dad would say I would understand when I got older. In the meantime, I thought it would make such a pretty name for a girl. cdngoneguy

Sacrifice.... 

The stress of paying bills and budgeting. My parents tried to keep this hidden from me but I could tell how much they carefully budgeted. They also sacrificed for us kids. I didn't get that until I had a dog first and then children. marya123mary

It's not "actual" fruit you know?

Why my parents wouldn't let me eat 3 fruit roll-ups per day. Lead5alad

I remember being almost 4 and eating an entire box of Blue fruit roll ups. They were Garfield themed. Later that night, we had a babysitter who I didn't know well. I ended up needing to poop, and tried my best at wiping myself (no way I was going to call out for the baby sitter). The paper was blue after my attempt at wiping myself. I didn't know what to do or even how to properly wipe. My toddler solution was to Scotch Tape a wad of TP to my butt. Imagine my parents trying to understand why there's a blue crap wad taped to their 3 year old's butt. RichardBurger

Recess runs out...

Vacations and breaks aren't a given. You don't just get to stop working for a few weeks randomly throughout the year, and no one plans around your vacation - you must plan all of your own (and sometimes other people's) work around your departures. Oh, and vacations are expensive. There's probably a reason that Billy down the block's family is able to take five people to Disney World: because they have money.

I'm a violin teacher now and blew this poor kid's mind this past weekend when he asked me what I was doing for spring break. I sort of stared at him for a second, and then remembered that spring break is a thing that kids get... so I told him that I'm working because I don't get a spring break and he was just completely aghast. Sorry buddy, the adult world isn't as fun as being a kid. artemis_floyd

You can still be Prince... 

  • I used to think that living beyond 24 was crazy and impossible
  • I used to think you would grow up to be a particular person instead of a larger version of yourself. I genuinely thought I could become Prince.
  • I really thought I'd need the karate chop as a part of my adult life. Sprenth

Let's Wrestle....

Giphy

When one time I accidentally walked in on my parents, they weren't "just wrestling." adirtymedic

My 5 year old son walked in on me and my SO. Watched us for I have no clue how long before breaking the muffled quiet with "can I play with you guys?" I was so horrified, all I could muster was "NO. Go to bed!"

He started crying and after I got dressed and went to check on him he said he was sad he wasn't allowed to wrestle and play with us. Oh God I'm so embarrassed just remembering it. Manderelli

REDDIT

makes perfect sense

Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

birth control

The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made

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Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

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movies

The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity

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Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
relationships

The Best Pickup Lines Of All Time

shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!

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