Speaking a second language is a super valuable skill, and can bring about some great opportunities. Some of those opportunities are in educating folks who assume you only know one language and that they can talk about you in another without you understanding.
These confrontations can either be learning experiences for them, or just become hilarious memories for you.
Reddit user RedDevil2048 asked:
"Bilinguals of Reddit, what's your funniest story of people not knowing you speak their language?"
20.
I was at a musical festival in Germany, and there was this group of 5 Japanese guys looking kind of oddly at me and snickering. I had taken a few classes in Japanese by then so I understood WHAT they were talking about, but not exactly what they said. (Turned out they were one of the bands playing the next evening)
But it was something along the lines of "Why is that foreigner wearing a mask like that? Thought only we did it." And then some general remarks about how weird and odd my getup was, in their defense I WAS wearing a face mask with filters and a pair of welding goggles.
And as I walked past them I just remarked that I could understand them and that they were being really rude. They bowed and apologized and offered me a drink to make up for it.
Long story short, I got backstage and they were really cool guys after all.
19.
Old Japanese lady here in Brazil was selling yakisoba at the farmer's market and talking in very broken Portuguese with a heavy Japanese accent, I start talking in Japanese and she suddenly is super impressed. I got so much extra stuff on top of my yakisoba.
18.
The staff at a Korean restaurant I frequented always used to yell "your white girlfriend is here!" (in Korean) to the head waiter when I walked in, because he was the only person on staff who had some English and always served my table.
One time he good-naturedly told the other staff after they said it that I couldn't be his girlfriend because he was too short compared to me.
I took a leap and told him in Korean that I was was wearing heels right now, but would be happy to wear flats on a date.
We ended up dating for over a year before he had to go back to Korea to take care of his dad. He was the loveliest guy.
17.
I am mixed ethnicity and apparently I can pass for a japanese person. While living in Japan, I was helping a caucasian friend teach an english class. a couple of students entered the classroom and I greeted them by saying "Good evening, welcome to class" or something brief and simple like that.
Despite being a single sentence, their jaws almost dropped and they both said "wow, your english is good". I laughed and had to explain to them that I was a 4th generation japanese-american, born and raised in hawaii. english was my native language.
16.
Negotiating with vendors in Turkey. As they babbled amongst each other trying to rip me off, I'd make a super lowball offer in Turkish. the look on their faces was gold, and this happened often. Usually i got the deal as they were super embarrassed. (American who lived there 2 years, took Turkish 101 & 102 classes when i arrived.)
15.
Mine is more wholesome. I worked at a department store and this one shift I encountered a sweet but confused old man with a strong french accent trying to ask me a question in English. I just asked if it would be easier for me to speak French, in French of course, and he smiled very wide. Most people in our area only speak English, so he was glad someone was able to help him in his native language.
14.
I was in a bus, and a tourist couple was pretty much next to me talking about finding a hotel to have sex that night. The girl told him to stop saying that because someone might hear it, the guy replied "they don't understand English babe".
Well, I sure did.
13.
I mean, I live in Canada and I'm half French Canadian so lots but the best was kinda the reverse - my dad yelled out to me in the middle of a crowded grocery store that he was "bleeding from my a**hole and have to go to the bathroom" in french, thinking no one would understand. Like, three people turned around with horrified wtf faces as he walked away. I just shrugged. What can you do, guy has hemorrhoids and no sense of shame, not MY fault. Now we all have to live with this image.
12.
I was shopping and two people approached me and asked if the store had ice cream packages in English. I guided them to it (as I was heading there myself).
Once they got it, they instantly started talking Swedish (extremely poorly - Swedish is my native language) and said "how impolite I had been for not simply telling them and had felt like I was forced to lead them there."
I replied (in Swedish) "I was heading here myself, so why the hell would I simply tell you where it is?"
Both turned pale, grabbed the ice cream and hurried off.
And yes. This was in Sweden. There's literally no reason for them to assume I'd NOT speak Swedish.
11.
Some japanese cashiers had a conversation deciding if my wife's red hair was natural. As we walked away I told them it was dyed but not to tell my wife that I know.
10.
Most people don't realize that I speak Spanish fluently. I was in Mexico with my husband on vacation. We went to a restaurant. They gave us a menu with the side in English facing up. I flipped it over and the exact same menu was printed on the back in Spanish except the prices were about half that of the English version. I ordered our meals in Spanish just in case it counted towards the discount.
9.
I, an Englishman, work in a bar in the south of France. We get a lot of tourists who naturally can't speak a word of French so a lot speak English as their go-to language (regardless of their country of origin).
Maybe 2 months ago I had an English lady order at the bar - which was quiet at the time - for a big bottle of water. Pretty standard request, except we only sell bottles of water up to 50cl (or alternativley offer tap water for free).
After offering her either of these options in perfect English because y'know, I'm English, she proceeded with the stereotypical 'raise of voice, slow talking and speaking with her hands' charade.
Her: "BIG...." gestures with her hands the size of 'big' "BOT-TLE" proceeds to pretend to unscrew a cap off a bottle "WARRRTEEER" air-drinks through her imaginary bottle of water.
So I gave her a shot of gin instead.
Her husband found it hilarious. He also recognised immeditley I was from the UK but let her play it out.
Maybe not ha-ha funny, more of a "OMG we are so freaking dumb sometimes" moment.
8.
Kind of the other way. When I was younger my family and I (German) went to Greece and in a store. My grandpa started talking about how expensive that stuff there was and how cheap it looked. Then my mom found something she liked and the store owner came over to help her - in German.
7.
I understand quite a bit of Spanish, and speak a limited amount. I was at a quinceañera with a friend and was having a really bad anxiety day. One of the middle aged men sitting at the same table as us was outright talking about me in Spanish, saying I had crazy eyes and how there was something wrong with me. My friend told him I could understand him and he just went quiet.
6.
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My wife (Norwegian) speaks 6-7 11 languages at varying levels of proficiency, and have a few good stories. Best one's from her time studying in Prague.
She went out with some Czech friends, all girls. They ended up in a bar, at a table next to a group of Norwegian guys that were on a weekend party trip. The guys were somewhat drunk, and of course immediately started flirting with my wife and her friends, in the typical heavily accented English spoken by Norwegians. While flirting, they discussed among themselves the various physical attributes of each girl, how slutty they were, how they'd perform in bed, what they'd do to them later that night in graphical detail, "I'm so getting laid" comments, and so on.
My wife translated everything into Czech for her friends. A lot of fun was had at both tables, the Czechs got more and more flirty as the Norwegians bought drinks, got bolder and became more and more certain they'd all actually get laid. After several hours, when the girls decided trather abruptly to end the evening, the Norwegian guys were a bit confused, as the girls all got so cold so quickly. Then my wife said, in Norwegian: "Nice meeting you guys, good luck", watched them all turn blood red, and left.
5.
My friend's son knows fluent Spanish, but is white so when he brought his wife's mini van in to get it detailed the people cleaning it were all going on and on about how stupid and dirty this guy is and how he should make his kids clean the van instead. Then they went on about how cheap Americans are and they probably wouldn't even get a tip for all the hard work. When they were done he went right over to thank them, and let them know how much he appreciated the job they did and gave them a tip...all in Spanish so they knew he had heard every word they said. Edit: I probably should have mentioned that this was in Mexico right near the US border, so being white and a Spanish speaker was more unusual.
4.
Was at a market in Thailand. Just as the stall owner is handing me my purchase, a tourist walks up and starts randomly educating me on bartering. I'd never met this person before, but they insist on showing me how it's done. So he's bargaining away and drives the owner down to about half price. With a smug look, he says "and that's how it's done."
I didn't have the heart to tell him I paid a tenth of what he did just by speaking politely using rudimentary Thai.
3.
My family is Greek, however I have an aunt that lives in Germany. She was visiting Greece one time, and she went to the jewellery store with her husband, where they both spoke to the staff in English. They were looking at rings when my aunt wiped her nose in a tissue. One of the girls working there, thought she was trying to steal a ring and tells the other girl working there : I think she just put a ring in her tissue, keep an eye on her. My aunt turns to her and goes: I blew my nose, would you want me to show you my boogers??
2.
My boyfriend and I went to Japan and stood out like the pair of hugely tall white folk we are. Literally no one expects foreigners to speak Japanese here btw. When just hanging out waiting to cross a street, a kid holding his mum's hand just stared at my 6 foot + boyfriend and said to his mum; "wow, foreigners are amazing aren't they?" We nearly died of laughter later, but there are tons of encounters like this. I only scare the pants off some of them though! Great fun! :)
1.
Giphy
I'm norwegian, but was in vacation in London, was on the way out the subway and waiting for a lift. Standing with my girlfriend, we overhear two girls behind me talking about me in Swedish (that I understood) and how hot I was and that they would definitely be down to bang if I asked. And how my girlfriend was not in my league and that I did not know how hot I was.
When the lift arrived, I turned around and thanked them (in norwegian) for the compliments, but that my girlfriend was far better looking than both of them.
They decide to not get on the lift with us.
Be careful what you say in public -- you never know who is listening! Do you have a great story to share? Drop it in our comment section below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.