Daughters Reveal What They Wish Their Dads Knew About Girls While Growing Up
Being a parent is hard, it can be even harder is you are totally clueless about major aspects of your child's life.
Reddit user @dogidoga asked:
For tons of people out there, the Daddy/Daughter dynamic comes with a few speed bumps. The question was initially posed to the women of Reddit, but a surprising number of men chimed in as well - turning the whole thread into more of a conversation than an endless list. The responses actually turned out pretty enlightening. And, it shows that you can raise a child without the blue or pink stereotypes.
Treat Them Right
The way you treat your wife/girlfriend can teach how I'm supposed to expect men to treat me.
- Elodea
This is why I have changed tactics with my youngest daughter. Instead of being the father that cleaned his gun, or sharpened his knife when the boyfriend came over, I decided that the best way to help my daughter make smarter decisions about boys is to treat her mother with love and respect.
Sure, my wife annoys me at times, but I don't lash out at her, I don't insult her, I have never raised a hand towards her in anger. I raise my voice, but that's more because I am going deaf and don't realize that I am raising my voice, I have never raised it in anger.
We need to teach our daughters how men should be treating women. Not making threats against guys that want to date them. It doesn't look good for us as fathers and teaches them that violence is an acceptable path.
"Boys Don't Like Fat Girls"
How much what he said (or didn't say) mattered. It still bothers me that he didn't tell me I looked pretty either time I was all dressed up as bridesmaid in my friends' weddings and I still remember him saying "boys don't like fat girls," or words to that effect a few times.
Never Embarrass Me
GiphyMy dad was a high school teacher that taught at a really good school. As a teen, I wanted to attend the school my dad taught at but he and my mother insisted I attended a different one that was apparently "of a better standard". It wasn't until years later my mother admitted to me that the reason I was put in a different school was because my dad didn't want me to get teased by other students about him or feel embarrassed by him.
I wish my dad knew he could never embarrass me.
Love you daddy. R.I.P
As a teacher I'm at the cusp of the same thing with my oldest. While the majority wouldn't tease her for who her father is as I'm well liked enough by my students, it would affect her social and school life.
I wouldn't be able to let her friends over if they're from the same school because we're required to do a heap of formwork for that. Can't take her friends home with us for sleepovers etc. No parties at my house because I'm a mandatory reporter for underage drinking (that will exist regardless unfortunately for her). Her teachers can just call my staff room right after a lesson if there's a problem.
She's a good kid and I don't want her ability to grow and make friends and engage respectfully with her teachers to be compromised by the fact that Daddy is the crazy science teacher at the other end of the school.
- Xuanwu
Gender And Interests
I liked trains. He apparently was really sad when my gender was revealed and I was a girl. He wanted a boy to play trains with and I was the last kid they were going to have. Youngest of 3 girls. I liked trains. My mom would buy toy trains and train movies for me to play with, and I would play with them for hours, but my dad never saw me playing with them because when he got home from work, all I wanted to do was play with my dad, and he didn't typically use toys to play with me. He would just teach me cool stuff, or tell me jokes and stories. He played using his voice. If I had known he wanted to play with trains, we would've had a blast.
- Avbitten
As a father of 5 (two girls three boys) I've learned gender bias is generally wrong. My oldest two, girl/boy, were pretty typical but the younger three not so much. My youngest daughter collects hot wheels just like her brothers even if most of them are pink or purple. However she's the first to be in the mud, on the tractor or under the hood of a car with me- Usually asking me to paint a car pink or purple. She's her mother's princess - but she also seeks opportunity on any challenge, any day, and doesn't see the world as pink or blue.
My second son loves Unicorns and pink. My youngest son loves dance class which is 95% female and started his Littlest Pet Shop fascination this year.
Today's chore is to haul firewood from the big stack to the smaller porch stack. Usually about a Rick of wood when we re-stack closer to home in prep for storms later this week. I've got $20 says she earns it alone first before her other two male siblings charged with the task this afternoon... before her double dance classes tonight.
These kids earn cash for every "extra" non-daily chore around here and she earns 7/1 to her brothers on tasks some who consider outside of normal gender bias all the time. 12 yr old wants a new video game and here she is "I could buy it but..."
She's 10, Tiny, Blonde Barbie/Cheerleader, almost flighty at first impression fun loving 1000% typical A-Crowd girl in school but she'd change a college boys tire on the side of a highway faster than he can call Road Service.
It helps to pay attention to what your kids love regardless of gender. I'm old, I don't want to stack firewood anymore LOL.
Hormones
We can be angry without it being hormones.
Honestly, as a guy, I will NEVER treat any emotion or opinion as, "She's just hormonal"
You deal with everything with sincerity and reason, because anything else demeans the person you're talking to. It is the other person's responsibility to identify when they are being unreasonable and "just hormonal", if that is indeed the case, and let you know how severe this issue is.
I don't know if this has a word for it, but in the legal-world, this is called 'negotiating in good-faith'.
The Boy You Wanted
That I'm not a boy, and it hurts immensely when you spend more time with the neighbor's son than you own daughter because I'm not the boy you wanted.
I just wanted healthy kids.. and I got that. Now, i did make them do Ninja Warrior stuff and we played war with water guns, so I got to play as well. My youngest likes dolls, so i show her some cool WWE moves with them.
Raise Her Strong
Tell her she's strong and raise her to be it, treat her like she's the strongest person you've ever met. It will make her believe it, and there's no better way you could protect her from the world, when you're not around, than by making her believe in herself. Nothing meant more to me than the day my dad, the strongest man I know, said he admired my strength.
Accept It
Accept the fact that your daughter will eventually need OBGYN visits, birth control, and will participate in dating and sex at some point. You don't have to be happy about it but please don't shame me or make me feel ashamed that I enjoy being human. I have to leave the room or wait for dad to leave in order to call my OBGYN office and I'm 23 years old.
See, as a dad to a little girl, it's just hard to accept that all of that will happen. Not because of "norms" or sanctity or some antiquated way of thinking - it's just that they're all signs that my little girl isn't so little anymore.
For most dads, it's just hard to accept - not something we willingly fight, but something we willingly don't want to admit to ourselves. Sure there are others that have very antiquated ways of thinking but not all - hell, not the majority.
I dreaded the day my daughter (six years old now) would tell me she had a crush at school, and I jokingly acted like I was not happy at first, but I let her know immediately after that having a crush is normal and acceptable.
I dread the day that she has her first period, but I know I'll start packing pads in her backpack when she turns 10 just in case it happens when she's in school.
I dread the day I have to take her to an OBGYN or fill a script for birth control for her, but I know that day will come. Same as the day she tells me she's sexually active. But I know the one thing I have to do is accept it, as hard as it is when that day comes - because I know as hard as it is for me, it's doubly hard and embarrassing for her.
But if there is anything threads like these that pop up every so often have taught me, is that communication is key - and having open lines of communication with her, where nothing is off limits, will allow her to have a better life and make better life choices (where she can learn from my and my wife's mistakes and observation (wisdom?) without having to make the same mistakes herself).
So for all the fellow dads out there - don't be afraid to communicate with your princesses. And for all the princesses out there, don't be afraid to communicate with your dads - these things are new to us too, and we're always going to be afraid of accepting the fact that the little girl we held in our arms for years is growing up.
- Jsanc623
Some Vagina To Guard
I'm jealous of all that time and money you spent on my brother and getting to know him as a person. I wish you'd just treat me like a person, not some vagina you felt the need to creepily guard until I got married.
- Zombombaby
Fathers have a strong instinct to protect the family, especially the women. It's just something you can never truly understand as a woman.
We Notice
That we notice when he would do some semi-creepy things like stare women down on the street (he was married to my mom for 40 years.) I wish he knew how I internalized a whole bunch of stuff from it. It was creepy on a general level...but to do it in front of your daughter like she doesn't see you just made it worse. Maybe that's lame, but it is genuine.
- durachok
Brushing Hair
How to brush hair. When I was little I remember crying every morning before school because my dad would just take the brush and practically rip my scalp off. All he would say was "sorry I don't know how to do girl hair"..ouch.
What's the secret. [6 and 3 yr old girls] Lol. I've tried wet brushes. Detangles. Best I can do is hold it and brush is small sections. About 2 more days away from going and grabbing one of those toy hair dressing heads for practice.
- DJToca
Periods Can Be Bad
GiphyHow bad periods can be.
My dad thinks that a period is all about blood, but never understands that I go through an awful pain while on my period.
- mehgrill
I learned this from my first girl friend (16) and she was blowing chunks in my bathroom sink. I asked what the hell was wrong, and she explained to me her period started. I was blown the away. I ended up going to the store to get Mydol which I learned came in several different types and I bought them all. I don't recall if I had to buy pads, but since we're married now I have done so. Having an older sister who I was close with I knew it caused problems, but I was not aware of the extreme levels of pain that can occur.
Because You're Family
I love my dad, he's really great, but I wish he hadn't compared my relationship with my brother to his relationship with his own brothers. It's awesome that my dad and his brothers got along, but my brother bullied me relentlessly, and having my dad constantly telling us that we were supposed to get along because we were family made me think that something was wrong with me.
This List
Kids aren't action figures. You don't get to mold them to be whatever you want them to be, and you don't get to vicariously live your fantasies through them.
PMS is a real thing that affects some women, but it only occurs for a few days at a very specific point in the menstrual cycle and it's more likely to produce feelings of fatigue/depression/anxiety than feelings of anger/irritability. When you blame all female emotions on PMS, it's both scientifically inaccurate and tremendously invalidating.
Pay attention to the media your kid consumes, and don't dismiss or ridicule girl-oriented media. Girls crave female role models, so make sure your daughter gets exposed to female characters in something other than love interest/princess/celebrity/caretaker roles. Seek out media where female characters are problem solvers, adventurers, and leaders.
Don't act like feminine things are shameful or boring. Don't be the dad who stays out in his car during his daughter's ballet class because sitting with the dance moms is too embarrassing. Don't be the dad who refuses to buy pads/tampons at the grocery store. Don't be the dad who says that women's sports are low action. Don't be the dad who lavishes time and attention on sons while ignoring daughters. Kids are smarter than you think, and they pick up on stuff like that.
F*ck that sh*t. I was in there every week, every single week. I hemmed recital dresses, did hair, etc etc etc. I'd do it again tomorrow. This whole thread is so frustrating to read...no wonder women are always feeling less than enough and second guessing everything. Sorry for the rant but every single person who has posted at feeling less than good enough, I'm sorry for you that your father wasn't up to the job.
Hair Ties
Not to use plain rubber bands as hair ties. F*ck that hurt!
Ouch... As a guy with mid-back hair I don't even like the hair ties with the metal bit in them as they catch in my hair.. Rubber bands are... Umm.. No....
Can't Control It
That we cannot control our periods.
I came home from school when I was ten with one of those fevers from the flu where all you do is sleep someone has to wake you up to remind you to eat and drink and use the bathroom.
Well all of this was about 3 months after having my first period and most women at least, I'm sure a few men might too, know how irregular they can be during that. Well while I was asleep I started. And (TMI WARNING but it is important to the story) I tend to bleed somewhere in the Oh My-God-I've-Been-Shot range. Now I wasn't expecting to start obviously so I had no pad on or anything. I'd been asleep for a couple of hours Dad woke me up to give me some more meds and I got up to use the bathroom, in there I quickly realized that I had started as most of the crotch area of my jeans was soaked in blood. A few seconds after that dad started yelling at me from the living room. About half the blue couch cushion is now dark purple.
I can barely stand I'm already very sick and now I'm crying, so he makes me change pants get in the truck drives me to the country store down the road and go in and buy myself pads or tampons. He doesn't want to go buy them because he thinks they are gross and he doesn't want to even be seen accompanying his daughter to buy them.
Now I'm ten, I have no idea what I'm supposed to really buy because I've only had 2 periods at this point and I'd just been using moms pads from home. But we were out of them at home and she went a couple towns over for groceries and other things. I don't have a phone to call her I'm crying I'm bleeding through the second set of pants and I feel so weak I'm holding on to the shelf to stay up. Thankfully a really nice lady who worked there helped me and helped me back to the truck.
He was yelling at me the whole time saying if I was going to start I should have been more prepared and put a pad on or used a tampon or something. How I should have known better than to bleed on the couch and how I should have gotten up and used the bathroom when I felt the bleeding. Mom got home and absolutely tore him a new one and gave him some menstruation knowledge while she was at it.
You found me! Let me know here.
Important Lessons People Have Learned The Hard Way
Reddit user IndianaC0NES asked: 'What’s an important lesson you learned the hard way?'
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.
From a young age, we've all had it drilled into us the importance of finding a good job that we can work at for the rest of our lives.
But sometimes those jobs don't work out for one reason or another, and sometimes all of the fault gets pinned on the employee.
Redditor DankGamer135 asked:
"What one mistake ended your career?"
A Scam Order
"While working at a builders’ merchant's, a customer called to place an order over the phone (not unusual) and wanted to give me the card details, there and then (red flag)."
"I initially refused, but another member of staff vouched for them as they were regulars. I put the order through, knowing that whoever came to collect would need to come into the office for their paperwork before loading, so we would have them on CCTV if it did turn out to be suspect…"
"Except the yard crew didn’t follow the process. When a van turned up for the goods, they loaded it all up and sent them away without asking for any kind of ID or manifest."
"The payment card was later reported as stolen, and the staff member who vouched for the customer denied even being in that day, which was a f**king lie as she never took time off. I got fired and everyone else got to keep their jobs."
- Shas_Erra
"That sounds like a setup. They should’ve been easily able to verify whether the person that vouched for them was working that day (check her clock in/out times, CCTV, etc)."
"At the very least, someone on the yard crew should’ve gotten fired too because they didn’t follow procedure either (and it’s even worse because if they had, it could’ve been stopped dead in the tracks)."
"I’m sorry, man."
- princessleyley
Lifting Wrong
"I lifted wrong. 14 years of arboriculture coming to an end now, and I'm not sure of the next job."
- Spaghettitrees
"14 years might be enough to move into a supervisory/managerial role if one exists in the field. It would allow you to still utilize your experience to some degree."
- srentiln
A Screaming Match
"I worked retail pharmacy for 10(ish) years. One day in the drive-thru, we had a belligerent patient. The guy's doctor sent his script to our other chain about 1.5 miles down the road. We were on the same street, and addresses get mixed up all the time. No biggie, give me 10 minutes and I'll have it ready..."
"But the dude just starts laying into me for no reason. Calls me an id**t. Calls me incompetent. Says he knows where his doctor sent it and I'm a lazy, lying piece of s**t. Etc, etc."
"After a few MINUTES going back and forth, with this guy yelling loud enough in my drive-thru that other staff inside the store can hear him, I tell him he needs to leave and find a new pharmacy."
"The guy lays into me again. Refuses to leave. I tell him, 'F**k off or I'm calling the police.'"
"Apparently, that was over the line for my company. No interview with HR. No discipline. No suspension. They just straight up fired my a** about three weeks later after an 'internal investigation.'"
- frithjofr
Physical Space
"One of the Directors wasn't happy with some work I'd done and started poking me hard with his finger to punctuate his comments."
"I punctuated back considerably more forcefully."
- jonnymars
The Angel of Death
"I called the HR lady the 'Angel of Death' to a coworker on chat. (HR was in a different state, so any time they came to town we all knew it was most likely to lay off people.)"
"The Angel of death came to get me shortly after, lol (laughing out loud)."
- michaudra2
"I once worked in a company as the help desk tech that would come collect tech while people were in with HR getting fired. I got the nickname Grim Reaper, because if I showed up with my cart and nobody in that department called, then one of their colleagues wouldn't be coming back from their meeting with HR."
- Houseplantkiller123
Home Sweet Home
"I built a castle out of Christmas chocolate biscuit boxes in the warehouse of a major retailer on a night shift and proceeded to fall asleep in it for a few hours."
- masontraining
The Wrong Recipient
"I sent a scathing email about my boss directly to my boss. It wasn't meant for him."
"To this day, I still have no idea what possessed me to put his name in the address bar. I noticed his name the exact moment I hit send."
"You have never felt that much panic."
- Happy1327
A Brand New Car
"I was a part-time intern making $9 an hour (USD) and my boss asked if I had any plans for the weekend."
"I had said I was going to buy a new car (very much old and used as that's what I could afford) and he asked if I was buying a brand new car. My response was that my budget isn't big enough for a new car."
"A couple of weeks later during my one-year review, my manager said they didn't have the work for me and that I was disrespectful for telling the boss I didn't make enough money."
"At the time I was living comfortably as a college student who just needed different transportation. I tried not to be disrespectful but apparently I was."
- Kulee43
Fired in Retaliation
"I got security responsibilities added to my duties as a sysadmin at a small university. I was asked by my boss' boss, the IT director, to do a security audit. He asked me to report on the audit at a department meeting."
"I asked if I could present my results to him privately instead and have him present at the meeting, but he insisted I could take care of it."
"My report showed major security holes, demonstrations of tests of said holes, and recommendations for patching said holes. Many of the patches were at the level of 'change the administrator password from 'password' to something less obvious.'"
"As my political acumen was near zero at the time, I didn't realize how the report on major security problems made the IT Director look completely incompetent in front of the entire department. He had built and configured the campus computer system pretty much on his own, at least in his mind, and was quite proud of his accomplishment."
"He suspended me on the spot, demoted me, and tried to convince the university to fire me and try to bring me up on criminal charges for hacking into the university's computer systems."
- firelock_ny
A Terrible Accident
"I had a workplace accident, a fall from an extreme height. I didn't get fired but broke enough bones that I'll never work in that industry again."
- Malromen
Out of Context
"I was opening my packages in the mailroom, using a pocket knife to slice open the packing tape. The secretary came in and chatted. We’re both Italian so we gesture a lot while talking."
"Sometime after the conversation, the Ops manager came down from his office and escorted me out of the building. I had forgotten the knife was in my hand while talking with the secretary, and she made an accusation that I had threatened her with it during our conversation."
"I was fired three days later."
"I had worked with this woman for almost a decade. I helped her children with their homework, etc."
"Years later, I learned corporate wanted to take down my boss and started the process by going after his biggest supporters. I was the third domino to fall. After I was railroaded, almost 40% of the branch’s staff left the company. I guess the secretary was in on it and leaped at any excuse to take me out."
"Shame. Really loved that job. And got fired when my first child was due in only four weeks. It was very demoralizing for quite a while."
- Bokuden101
Stolen Cigarettes
"This isn't about me, but a guy I worked with was caught stealing two cigarettes from a colleague's bag. He was on a six-figure salary. Not anymore!"
- Rude-Scholar-469
"How can anybody be so dumb? Especially as a smoker, he should be aware how other smokers are very likely to share their cigarettes with you if you just ask them."
- SherifGames
The Stolen Lunch
"This didn't happen to me, but I remember a coworker of mine getting fired because he put laxatives in his own lunch bag. Some d*ckhead kept stealing parts of our lunches. Turned out, it was our supervisor."
"I'm not too keen on the specifics since that coworker and I weren't exactly friends or anything. I just kind of had simple conversations during lunch and whatnot."
"Apparently, it is illegal to poison food with malicious intent. And some of my friends who worked there said he got into some legal trouble because of it. Nothing came of it from what I heard. But that's about all I know."
- DeicideandDivide
A Slanderous Date
"I went on a first date with a girl who turned out to be a horrible person 20 minutes in."
"I did what I could to get out of it because she was telling stories about crazy things she’d done and was proud of. I didn’t pull anything to get out of it, just dodged land mines and asked a ton of questions about her so I could get out of it sooner."
"Then I said I wasn’t feeling the connection and I wanted to be honest so we didn’t waste each other's time."
"I found out a week later that she contacted my previous employers, because she found my LinkedIn, told them all stories about how I talked a ton of s**t about them all. And now I can’t get a reference from my previous three jobs… and people I was on good terms with."
"All because I went on a date with a psychopath."
- FirstFlight
Taking Sides
"I sided with the peeps under me as their manager."
- ThunderClap449
"It's more important to have the back of the people you represent. In my experience, you get better production out of people who know you go to bat for them. Then your numbers and team performance look good and they figure, well, he must be doing something right."
- A_Vile_Person
While it is always terrible to lose a job, these stories make it clear that sometimes we lose jobs for reasons that really should be no fault of our own. From fraud to accidents to false charges, people have been fired for things they certainly shouldn't have been.
And for those who were fired for reasons that wholly were their fault, well, at least that was a learning experience.
Emotions are high at weddings, with the bride and groom going through various stages of anxiety and excitement.
During those stages, seeing how well a newly wedding couple interacts with each other as well as with other family members and friends under pressure can indicate how well they work together as a team.
If professional wedding photographers had years of experience capturing one of the most monumental milestones for couples, they would be able to identify if a couple can make it for the long haul.
Curious to hear from them, Redditor Arknight40 asked:
"Wedding photographers of Reddit, what was your 'they're not gonna last long' moment?"
Some marriages had problems before saying "I do".
The Last Session
"Bride looked visibly miserable the entire ceremony. While photographing the men’s 'getting ready' portion, the groom repeatedly kept joking about killing himself."
"During the toast, the bride ran off to the bathroom for about 30 minutes and came back wiping her tears with her eyes red and puffy. Neither of them had any chemistry at all, it made no sense why they were together to me. That was the last wedding I shot."
– Majestic_Storage_563
Groom's Wandering Eye
"I'm a videographer and the groom called me a couple days after the wedding. He wanted me to make sure I didn't include any footage of him checking out the women at the wedding."
– Tim0281
Party Bride
"One of those hotel venues that can run two weddings at the same time. Bride from our wedding is found in a hotel room with the groomsmen from the other wedding doing drugs before the first dance. End result was we got paid and were told no need to edit or deliver pics. Safe to say It didn't last the night."
– mysticsika
Red Flags Galore
"The engagement session."
"The couple was in from out of town because she had just taken the bar exam to become a lawyer. At the end of the session, I gave them a prompt to share with each other what they were proud of each other for. He couldn't think of a single thing."
"Somehow they still got married, complete with: the groom drinking 11 IPAs + several shots before the ceremony, mother of the bride so drunk for family photos she pretended to strip, and the groom and all the groomsmen wearing camo hats with neon orange letters that said 't*tties and beer.' For the entire wedding day. Including sunset couples photos where he refused to do anything I suggested, nearly spat chew right on my feet, kept farting on purpose, and loudly complained about how all he wanted was to go have sex."
– V-Savage
Demanding clients indicated how difficult they might be as a spouse.
Once More From The Top
"Wedding was on a golf course. Bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look."
"He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever."
"Once he set her down she straightened herself and looked back to us. 'Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now.' And she sent him back up."
– Pancakes_Whisperer
More Photoshop Please
"I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. Day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately is calling me. 'I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t'. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only photoshop so much, I.e. I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos. She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bux, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insist I do at least some of her main pics, I tell her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference, she didn’t care and insisted more. So I do, and a couple weeks later when I thought it was all done and history calls me and leaves me a voicemail of how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So didn’t seem like they were in a great place from the get go."
– Jadedsatire
A Secret Arrangement
"While shooting video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard the groom confiding in his friend, describing the wedding as a 'wedding of convenience' and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship."
– NoodleMaps
The best man shouldn't have too much to drink. They might overshare.
Cold, Hard Truth
"Went to a wedding during college to my friends that got married who graduated 2 years prior to me. They had a beautiful wedding on a boat off the Keys and as the best man gave his speech, he was really drunk by this point, just shouted out, 'You don't deserve her, you literally got a bj from a stripper no make that two strippers at your bachelor party. Peace out.' He dropped the mic and tried to do a dramatic exit but by this point we were all stuck on this boat in the middle of the ocean. It took an hour to get back to port, and it was the most awful and awkward hour of our lives for everyone on that boat."
– breakitupkid
A Harsh Roast
"in another life, i worked catering shifts. loads of saturday weddings. i'll never forget the best-man's toast of the groom. it was a shameless roast. he spoke openly about the groom's willingness to shag anything when he's drunk. he then went on and on about the groom's deadly gambling habit and his short fuse when he doesn't win. he asked the stone-faced groom 'how many thousands of dollars in golf clubs have you destroyed or lost in countless ponds?' nobody was laughing. the bride had tears in her eyes and the groom's parents sat in stunned silence."
– dys_p0tch
Some people aren't marriage material.
Disasterous
"This was 15 years ago or so, I left wedding photography a few months later."
"The reception was at their home, they didn't want photos at the ceremony, and didn't want wedding party/family photos between the ceremony and reception triggering the first raise of the eyebrow on my end. At the reception the groom didn't want his brother, the best man, in the photos. Other eyebrow goes up. The mothers of both the bride and groom both scolded me to let them be and told me to eat instead of take photos. The groom and the best man got unholy drunk and had a weird by play of brother making way too many toasts and the groom making grossly inappropriate speeches of what he's going to do to the bride on the honeymoon."
"As the newlyweds were making their grand departure the bride tosses the bouquet, everyone cheers. The groom shouts 'I knocked the b*tch up so hard she's got two babies in her c**chie"' Guest react in various ways of shock and happiness about the pregnancy test but the best man lunges at the groom shouting and swearing. Family holds the best man back as the couple runs out to a car. The groom flipped off the spectators, and pulled out of the driveway. Two houses down the car stops, the groom gets out and pukes on a neighbor's lawn, the bride gets in the driver's seat and takes off, leaving her husband yurking into a flower bed, and the best man ran down the street trying to flag down the car."
"Divorced four months later."
– OmicronPerseiNate
These are but a mere sampling of weddings gone wrong or couples that should never have gotten together in the first place.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We've all found ourselves in a position where we simply couldn't contain ourselves and found ourselves putting someone in their place owing to something they said which was either wrong or just plain stupid.
When it comes to the latter category, though, it's often worth taking a minute to wonder if fighting that particular battle is even worth it.
As many people who are about to shoot down their current conversation partner might take a minute and really examine the person they're talking with before remembering the old saying: "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Sadly, some people remember this conversation too late, and find themselves falling down a conversational rabbit hole from which they may never escape.
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?