You're Dead To Me: Why People Killed Off A Friendship With Their Bestie
Reddit user No_Dependent4663 asked: 'People who fell out with their best/close friend, what killed it?'
Having a best friend doesn't always mean we see eye to eye with them.
Indeed, every now and again we find ourselves having a possibly fundamental difference with them.
Sometimes, we can let these differences and disagreements go with a deep breath, other times, letting things slide isn't so easy.
In the most extreme cases, it could even lead to the first person we call when we're feeling down being cut from our life completely.
Redditor No_Dependent4663 was curious to hear from people who cut ties with their best friend, and what led them to do it, asking:
"People who fell out with their best/close friend, what killed it?"
Wasn't There When They Needed Them...
"Friends for 20 years."
"Helped her with rides, money, cloths ect."
"The first time I asked her for anything was after my husband had brain surgery and needed meds the local pharmacy didn't have."
"I couldn't leave him alone and could not take him with me so I asked her to watch him for an hour."
"She said no she wanted to go to the store with her bf."
"I never talked to her again."
"And thank goodness she didn't have the balls to show up to my husband's funeral."- softshoulder313
Ignoring The Warnings...
"Well it ended but was repaired."
"She got into a relationship with a walking red flag, and I told her as much."
"Things kept getting worse with him until I wasn’t able to watch it anymore."
"Then he convinced her that I was the toxic one and trying to control her so she didn’t want to be friends anymore."
"I said I respected her decision to choose him over me, but please don’t delete my number and to call me when it came time to run."
"She did and she’s out, learned from it, and we’re friends again."- Successful-Snow-562
...Goes Both Ways
"She warned me about my fiancé at the time, now ex-wife, and I didn't listen to her."
"My fiancé didn't like that and told me to pick her or my friend."
"I picked my fiancé and then she eventually cheated on me multiple times including while we had an infant at home."
"Never been more wrong in my life."- thegodfaubel
Ink On Their Face...
"I worked with them."
"They were very lazy and constantly started drama between myself and our coworkers."
"Lost pretty much all the respect I had for them."- AmericanTitan07
Who Knows?
"Nothing at all, and that is the saddest part."
"No big fight, no disagreement, no nothing."
"One day they met their now spouse and suddenly that was it."
"Since then radio silence."- Showfina
"I have no idea, but she stopped responding to texts or reaching out."- wei-ohara
Sensing A Spouse/Partner Theme...
"Best friends for 12 years."
"She was a complete bridezilla."
'Long story short, I was maid of honor and was expected to pay for multiple showers, ended up paying for part of her dress, and was asked to plan/pay for the entire bachelorette trip."
"I was in the process of building a house so I said no to the parties and trip (paying not planning/attending) and was swiftly booted from the wedding."
"Funny part was, the guy had been cheating on her and she knew and told me she was gonna leave him."
"She didn’t."
"She cheated on him back."
"He found out while I was with them, they broke up."
"Couple weeks later I got a call they were engaged."
"So bizarre."- accomplishedswan44
Were They Ever A Friend?
"Realizing that he was a shit friend who saw me as lesser than him, and he used that as justification to try and completely control my life."- yeetgodmcnechass
Lack Of Quid Pro Quo
"I cared more about the relationship than she did."
"I’m not gonna beg anyone to be my friend."- Superkittymeowmeow
Making Life A Competition
"My son was delayed."
"Hers was not."
"Her son was roughly a year younger and there were constant snide comments about how much sooner her son hit milestones than mine did."
"I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't mean it the way it came across and I was just touchy."
"And then she called my 2 year old stupid because he was mostly nonverbal."
"She got told to f*ck off."- TransportationOk4914
Absence Did Not Make The Heart Grow Fonder...
"They moved and stopped putting any effort into the relationship whatsoever."
"I offered to go there, I offered to fly them here (they hadn’t secured work yet) and they never made time."
"They never reached out."
"When I finally wrote and said it seemed apparent they’d lost interest in the relationship and I respected that but needed to move on rather than wait indefinitely, they refused to acknowledge anything had changed, and told me I sounded crazy."
"I asked why I hadn’t heard from them or seen them in a year and a half."
"No response."
"Reality is subjective, as they say."- testcase_sincere
Couldn't Meet Their Standards...
"She literally turned into her mother, only caring about appearances."
"At 23."
"I couldn’t take the judgment anymore."- Obi1NotWan
Wanted To Be More Than Friends
"We were best friends in high school."
"I moved in with him in 2015 because I needed a place to stay, and his father offered to let me rent out a spare bedroom for super cheap."
"Within five months, my friend made a romantic/sexual pass at me."
"I was not interested."
"I left that night and have never looked back."- allycatraz
They say to err is human, to forgive is divine.
But sometimes, the only way to forgive someone who hurt or betrayed you more than you thought was possible, is to let go, and move on.
The Best Reasons Why You Shouldn't Argue With An Idiot
Reddit user Blaztwin asked: 'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." What's your best real life example of this?'
We've all found ourselves in a position where we simply couldn't contain ourselves and found ourselves putting someone in their place owing to something they said which was either wrong or just plain stupid.
When it comes to the latter category, though, it's often worth taking a minute to wonder if fighting that particular battle is even worth it.
As many people who are about to shoot down their current conversation partner might take a minute and really examine the person they're talking with before remembering the old saying: "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
Sadly, some people remember this conversation too late, and find themselves falling down a conversational rabbit hole from which they may never escape.
“'Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience'.” What's your best real life example of this?"
They Literally Won't be "Shut Down"
"When I tell people to just reboot your computer and it will fix all their problems and yet they won't because they said if you wait long enough it will shut down, when in reality it only goes to sleep."
"Then when I tell them they have to completely shut it down they look at me like I'm an idiot and say they did."
"I tell them it seems like it but it only went to sleep."
"They argue back."- niallaa
Some People Just Don't Get It...
"I used to argue a lot with my sister when we were kids."
"She would do this thing where she would say something, and then I would reference back to it literally a minute or two later to prove a point and she would say 'I never said that' or 'that’s not what I said'."
"Absolutely impossible to argue with someone who will just deny having said things that could hurt their argument."
"Also, trying to change the course of an argument if they feel like they are 'losing'."
"A coworker once called me an idiot for doing something 'incorrectly' when I was actually doing it the right way."
"When I politely explained to them that the way they suggested doing the task didn’t actually work, they started asking 'why are you getting so angry?? I was just trying to help' etc."
"So now we’re arguing about whether I’m angry or not instead of the right way to complete the task."- themightypianocat
Facts Are Facts...
"Arguing is pointless if you do not agree on a set of facts."- niallaa
Facts GIF by Judge JerryGiphyYou Can't Have It Both Ways...
"For a short while, I worked as a line cook at a Cracker Barrel, and there was a little saloon style door that led to the staff section (kitchen, bathroom, etc)."
"There was a staff only sign on the door, above the doors, and on the wall behind the doors at eye level."
"Usually if someone from the customer side comes in, they said, 'Coming in' before opening the door, so they didn't hit anyone, but of course customers didn't know that."
"So when this dude opened the door and hit a waitress carrying a ton of drinks, we were reasonably upset with him."
"He said, ;You should really put a sign up'."
"We showed him all the signs, and he goes, 'That seems a bit excessive'."- GreyFoxHound1
So Wrong.
"Had an employee sign an NDA about an upcoming art installation that had investors."
"He told everyone."
"He argued with me the NDA only meant he couldn’t disclose anything with the people in the company."- BosskHogg
He Knew What He Was Talking About
This was best said:
“'Never wrestle with pigs'."
"'You both get dirty and the pig likes it'.― George Bernard Shaw"- Zerowantuthri·
pigs GIFGiphySome Outdated Inventions Are Definitely Not Missed...
"I’m showing my age here but I used to work for an estate agency, and we had sales offices set up at the site of large new housing developments."
"Our primary method of communication was fax."
"One of the sales associates telephoned our office to say that the fax machine had run out of paper."
"No problem, I said, one of the guys is coming your way later for a house tour, I’ll give him a box of paper to give to you."
"We then had an almost 20 minute long argument when they kept insisting 'NO, YOU JUST SEND ME A BLANK FAX BECAUSE I NEED THE PAPER, IT WILL JUST COME OUT OF MY FAX MACHINE'.”
"It was like trying to nail jelly to a tree."
"Difficult, irritating, and it achieved nothing."- BettieKat
Very Few Hills Are Worth Dying On...
"I had a friend in university who was a world-class high school debater."
"Over meals, she liked to pick a ridiculous proposition and then talk circles around people until they had to concede to her point, no matter how absurd."
"When she tried it with me, I just stonewalled her."
"Met every point with a solid 'I don't think that's true'." or 'That doesn't make sense'."
"Eventually she gave up and never tried it with me again."
"It was the only time I've ever used the tactics of the stupid to win an argument."
"But, to be fair, if you're not arguing with me in good faith, I feel no obligation to respond in good faith."- kitskill
IS The Customer Always Right?...
"Working retail."
"Especially when I worked in the tech shop or a computer store."
" Trying to convince someone their $500 laptop is never going to be a gaming system no matter how many of the very few replaceable parts we throw at it can be exhausting."- MOS95B
happy episode 7 GIFGiphyEducation Only Matters If You Learned Something....
"Was arguing with this dude about something math-related."
"He didn’t know how to read a study that involved statistics. claimed he was in multiple AP math classes."
"Tried saying that I 'probably don’t even know basic integration'."
"Gave me a common integration problem."
"He wrote it but forgot the minus sign, making it unsolvable."
"I pointed it out and he edited the comment to make it correct."
"Told him that some people can see when you edit comments."
"He claimed that he just capitalized a letter. on and on and on."- SaturdayNightCity
Good Legal Counsel Might Be Worth The Splurge...
"I asked a representative from the Friend of the Court to explain something she said and she told me that I understood what she was saying."
"I replied that I wouldn't have asked her to explain if I had understood."
"She said if I was going to be difficult, she would hold me in contempt."
"My X chimed in that she didn't quite understand what she had said and was greeted with a smile and an explanation."
"From that point on I always disagreed with the Friend of the Court on EVERYTHING, so that I could be seen by the 'Actual Court' and a Judge."- PURPLEPEE
Season 4 Episode 21 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySore Winners Are No More Attractive Than Sore Losers...
"Once worked with a guy who, by his own admission, got his rocks off by picking fights."
"He'd start an argument over the smallest thing."
"If you said it was white, he'd say it was black, just to try to start something."
"The one that always stood out for me was the weather app competition."
"One day he asked me what temperature it was, so I read it off my weather app."
"He got all offended, because his weather app said it was a couple degrees warmer."
"So he decides we're going to have a weather app competition."
"He was going to chart what our apps said the temperature was, and at the end of the week, whichever one was closest to that day's high would be the winner."
"And the loser would have to start using the winner's app."
"To which I said, "What is your f*cking problem?'"
"So, yeah."
"For the first few days, he'd make a big performance about marching into my office, recording the temperature off my app, jotting down some notes, and walking off."
"This started on a Monday."
"He gave up after Wednesday."
"Either because I was winning, or he was disappointed because, despite his best efforts, I just did not give a f*ck about weather apps."
"Or maybe the boss told him to stop because I filed a complaint that this was bordering on harassment."- originalchaosinabox
Im Always Right GIF by ZionGiphyIt should perhaps be said calling someone an idiot, or even thinking it, is not a particularly nice thing to do.
Even so, if you're tempted to do so when you're in the presence of a particular individual, probably best not to provoke them.
After all, if you're so determined to "win," does it really make you any better than them?
People Debate Whether Mental Health Issues Are A Valid Reason To Call Out From Work
Every now and again, some people might call in sick to work when they might not be technically sick.
Instead, they are just feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or many other things and just need a day to collect their thoughts.
A "mental health day," if you will.
But should we have to lie about their mental health being the reason they aren't coming to work?
No doubt, they likely aren't honest about it for fear their bosses might not consider it a valid excuse, but should bosses and managers be more sympathetic and understanding?
"Is mental health issues a valid reason to call in sick to work? Why or why not?"
Sick Days Can Be Used However People So Chose
"If you got sick days, use em for whatever, who cares why."- Chance-Ad4773
"I use sick days, and even vacation days, for mental health."
"How are you going to perform to the best of your ability, if you're not your best?" - _bakedgouda
"Just call in sick, it's nobodies business what your illness is." - Bierculles
An Illness Is An Illness, Plain And Simple
"In my opinion, absolutely."
"Mental health is as important as physical health."- Defiant63
"Illness is both physical & mental, which you can argue mental is also physical considering it’s regarding your brain."
"Big difference between: 'I don’t feel like going to work' and 'I can’t perform my professional obligations and need rest'."- patlaff91
Yes. No Questions Asked.
"It's valid, sure."
'Whether your employer agrees is another subject."- brock_lee
Progress Needs To Be Made
"I would argue mental health is as important to take care of than physical health."
"But I would probably not tell them it’s mental sh*t just because we aren’t there as a society yet that recognizes taking care of one’s mental health."
"We are getting there but not quite."- ironicallyunstable
Valid, But Complicated
"Absolutely."
"However, mental health does carry a stigma, and if your higher-ups sense you might be a 'head case' or something, you may be passed over for promotions and stuff for people they deem more 'mentally stable' or whatever the f*ck."
"But most jobs cannot ask you the details on your health."
"So you can just call out 'sick', and don't disclose that it's mental in nature."
"If you have a job that requires proof of illness?"
"Might be time to look for a new job, yikes!"- daithisfw
"It is a valid reason but beware that not all people take mental health seriously and calling in because of it can lead to some people to start treating you differently, whether that be in a good way or a bad way in comparison to how you were treated before."
"Some employers may even cut your hours because of this as well, because in their eyes you just didn't want to work."-SeniorConfusion6698
Yes, But Plan Accordingly
"Some thoughts from a guy who has managed a lot of people."
"From a practical perspective what's 'valid' in the workplace has much to do with your relationships with co-workers and managers."
"A person who is generally productive and has good relationships will get a lot more leeway on things like mental health days than someone who's not productive and engages in conflict."
"You'll have lot more support from colleagues when you're going through tough times if you spend time, in advance, cultivating good relationships and a good reputation."
"Be honest with yourself on whether your choice of careers aligns with the degree of stress (both professional and personal) you're able to handle."
"I've known a lot of people who've chosen careers paths that are inherently more stressful and hectic than they're able to handle or don't align well with their personal responsibilities."
"Be honest with yourself on whether you're truly cut out for working in a given field, or at a given company, in a given role, or for a given person."
"Of course, many people don't have a choice on what job that they do, but if you do, try to find one that aligns with your own personal comfort level."
"Keep your expectations balanced."
"You absolutely do have the right to expect reasonable accommodations for your mental health and stress levels at work."
"The flip side of that is that your employer does have the right to expect that certain roles are filled by people who have the capacity to put up with a degree of consistent stress."
"If you attend too little to your mental health you'll burn out and your career will stall."
"However, if you can't manage yourself through a certain amount of stressful situations, your career will likely stall too."- JohanB3
It's Not The Why That Matters, But The How Much
"I never gave a sh*t why someone called in sick."
"It only ever became an issue if they were out of sick time."
"And if they were did the event qualify for FMLA."
"Was quite a headache during COVID, admittedly."
"As some people never got it and some people had it multiple times."
"We were making exceptions for some people while still being more demanding than usual of others."
"What a mess that was."
"But still didn't want to fire someone because they or their family had COVID so they missed work."- thedankbank1021
If people find themselves in a headspace where they know they won't be able to get any work done, it won't be to anyone's advantage for them to come to work.
Something they might want to consider, however, is maybe it's the job itself which is taking a toll on their mental health.
And it's not a day off they need, but should instead be handing in their resignation?
Arguments are a part of life. As humans, we argue with everyone: the people we love, the people we hate, and the people we have no real opinion about.
Sometimes these arguments are frivolous. My brother and I often fight about which DC superhero is the best (Batman, of course).
Other times, the arguments are more serious, like when my parents fought about what kind of punishment would be better for me learning my lesson about lying.
Arguments, although a part of life, are rarely ever productive, especially when the person you're arguing with is hard to get through to no matter what.
Redditors have a lot of experiencing arguing with those kind of people, and shared their experiences.
It all started when Redditor Connect_Conclusion49 asked:
“What’s the hardest types of people to argue with?”
I Can't Hear You
"Someone who is listening only for their turn to speak."
– CommonCheeseFan
"I sometimes tell my mother, when she repeats a point that I just countered: "ok but did you hear what I just said?""
"It's hilarious to watch how she then focuses, remembers my words from 5 seconds before, and this time properly registers them. The idea of actually listening completely throws her off."
– zyygh
I'm Right And That's That
"The people that derive conclusions about you from the wildest assumptions. Makes you have to backtrack and tell them how it really is, putting you on defense and then all the sudden you’re no longer working towards common ground, you’re just trying to prove that you’re not something they assume you are."
– frozeneskimo02
"Is the prosecutorial approach for me - when they stomp down hard with their wild assertions and stare at you with these dead eyes and you become fully aware that they’re not even listening to you or what you’re saying."
"Like, who hurt you bro? We were just having a conversation about boats."
– hashtagsugary
It's All About Me
"Narcissists. Hands down."
– FlakyAd1193
"100%. There’s no changing their minds. Even if they say they agree, in their mind they know they’re right."
– kyle_rose
"My god they are the most life draining human beings on earth. Do you think they know they’re wrong and its all an act or do you think they honestly believe they’re right?"
– SexNoises69
"Fighting with a narcissist is like trying to dry an ocean with a tissue"
– Working-Ad-1769·
A Drunk
"Drunk"
– tcarrot0813
"They probably can't remember what you said on the next day anyway"
– Fuxy83
"Arguing with my dad when he was drunk was like talking to a brick wall!"
– scorpioqueen94
Over And Over Again
"This. It's incredibly frustrating having to have the exact same conversations over and over with the other person getting mad every single time because they just don't actually care about what I have to say. They just get triggered in the moment and want to whine about something so they go off. It doesn't matter what the situation is, or if they're wrong or right."
– Hungry_Treacle3376
"This is my pet peeve istg"
– Mrkitcoon
I'm The One With The Problem!
"People who have a victim mentality."
– Glittering_Life9425
"I know someone who is a narcissist with victim mentality. It's impossible to argue. Everything you say is wrong or they have it so much worse than you so you have no right to argue or criticize."
– volzutan_smeig
"That would be my dad… He’s never been there for me (or my siblings) and would often argue with us when we were kids. Anytime he’s been called out on his behaviour, he manages to make himself the victim in his head."
"So yeah, I don’t talk to him anymore"
– NOTZawp
"The Narcissists prayer"
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
"I have had the good fortune to get fed up with people at step 2 and be able to just stop arguing with them (or interacting with them at all in most cases). Once you know it, you recognize it, and can deal with it."
Mikeavelli
Bang My Head Against The Wall
"Stupid people"
""It's hard to win an argument against an intelligent person, but it's much more difficult arguing with a dumb@ss""
– DavosLostFingers
"Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. They just sh*t all over the board then strut around like they won the game."
– Dustyoldfart
My Way Or The Highway
"People that believe that anyone who disagrees is a bad person. For better or worse, they shut down the moment you don't agree, meaning you're basically talking to a brick wall."
– MiracleSpherical
And Louder And Louder And LOUDER!
"People that think being louder makes them right."
– Low_Organization_903
"Nothing makes someone like that angrier than remaining completely calm. They yell to subdue or get an even great reaction. They freak the f*ck out when you take control of your emotions."
– Front-Ad-2198
The Argument Barely Starts
"Worked for one, the CEO of a Healthcare startup. He loved to end conversations with "I'm not gonna argue with you.""
– dug99
Authoritarians
"People with authoritarian personalities. There's a lot of psychological research into this. Instead of thinking critically, they prefer to let their leaders tell them what to think. This is rooted in a deep desire to conform with their social group. It is next to impossible to get them to abandon a belief their group holds in common, even if that belief doesn't define their group identity."
squashkbc
Out to Pasture
"Political sheep. No matter the party, ideology or organization, if they blindly believe they are supreme and have no room for discussion, thinking and fully researching the problem, they ARE the problem. USA is good example of that, most of democrats and republicans are worth each other in stupidity."
Dragonheardt1·
Bill Murray
"It's hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person" - Bill Murray
bl1nk94-·
Vulcan Mindset
"People who use reason and logic to defend their positions, sans emotion. Not only are their arguments usually well thought out, but they can easily spot logical fallacies in counterarguments, which makes it ever so difficult to argue with."
The -ism
"People who love using whataboutism as an argument."
"Okay I did this but what about that time when she did it?"
"Yes innocent people are dying but what about that other time when innocent people died also?"
isrararrafi
Vegans
"I’m not a vegan but what are you trying to argue with them? I think that morally they are pretty admirable. I guess you can have disagreements over whether meat is or isn’t necessary in a human diet but the few vegans that I’ve talked to about that have been reasonable and respectful in regard to that debate."
DuchessOfMarlboro
Peer Review
"Obviously, people who believe that they know everything, but also people who "don't believe" in science. You can show them all the peer-reviewed studies and they will think that their "research" is more believable."
778899456
Yeah, that would make it hard!
Do you have any people to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.
People Share The Most Insane Lies Their Significant Other Ever Told Them
It's never fun to be lied to, particularly by your significant other.
Sometimes we discover that they were lying to us in order to surprise us for our birthday or anniversary, making the dishonesty easily forgiven.
In other instances, however, their lies were all to cover up something much less celebratory.
For better or worse, some people's partners are very convincing liars.
Others however are simply unable to keep a secret, and their stories or explanations to cover things up only make things worse.
Redditor CanadianKiss was eager to hear the most absurd and ridiculous lies people ever heard from their significant others, leading them to ask:
"What was the most insane lie an S/O told you?"
Keep Your Panties On!
"After I found out my wife was having an affair, I snooped through her email, saw she bought 5 pairs of lingerie over the past several months that I had never seen."
"When confronted about it she said she liked the progress she has been making in the gym and just wanted to see how she looked in them and threw them away after she tried them on."- DrMilzie
False Credentials
"Told me she was a veterinarian and even had a degree hanging on her wall."
"My parents own a small farm so I asked her for advice and the answers were always questionable."
"My gut was telling me something is off."
"Googled her school and asked some basic questions that anyone who went should know."
"She didn’t."
"It was all a lie."- Auditory_Whiplash
It's All About The Anticipation...
"That there was spaghetti waiting for me when I get back."
"There was no spaghetti waiting for me."- IWannaBeMade1
Why Bother?
"That he didn’t like honey when he did."
"It’s insane to me because what’s the point?"
"lmaooo."- astroqualityyy·
Some People Don't Even Try...
“'I got gonorrhea from cutting myself on a broken bong'."
"Survey says, that’s a lie!"- CautiousOwl02
True Love Weed GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphyGaslighting 101
"That I was the one who was destroying our marriage for being suspicious all the while she was the one cheating."-shenanigansgalores
Faking Cancer? Seriously?
"I broke up with this dude after only a couple of dates."
"A week later he hits me up asking to take me to lunch bc he just found out he had cancer."
"He tricked me into a year-long relationship based on a cancer lie."
"I believe karma is a b*tch though."- crunchyleafs_
"She called me three months after we broke up to tell me I was right."
"'All that tanning has given me skin cancer'."
"I asked which kind."
"She couldn't remember what the doctor called it."
"I asked, 'Is it lymphoma?'"
"She said, 'Yeah, that's the one.'"
"I hung up."- Spodson
Family Issues...
"That she was an orphan."
"Her family was very surprised."- Garlic_Bread_865589
orphan GIFGiphyThe key to a healthy relationship is honesty, barring of course covering up a surprise which will make your partner happy.
And when the only way to stay in a relationship is through lies and deceit, it's probably time to start re-evaluating how well things are going.
Ironically, that's when it becomes time to really be "honest" with yourself.