Food is a funny thing. We all need it to live. We eat to live.
But when it's not about survival, many people take food to a level of obsession.
There are just some items that don't belong on a menu.
Be creative as you want to be as a chef, but certain things, like poisonous fish and reptiles?
Maybe just let them keep roaming their habitats.
Why would I pay $150 a plate to maybe die?
What happened to an adventurous fettuccini alfredo?
Redditor trajop wanted hear about which items on the menu are not acceptable, by asking:
"Non-picky eaters, what’s a food you just cannot do?"
Snails. Liver. No. No to all of that. Why would you eat a snail? Don't tell me!
Grape Only!
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"Non-Fussy Slav here : Aspic or any other form of Meat-tasting Jelly... just... no, thank you." ~ BlimeyChaps
Pu-NO!!
"Silkworm pupae that is boiled or steamed. I tried it once and that’s it. I don’t like the taste, how it looks, and the smell! I get nauseous whenever I smell it. And they also sell it in a can!! 😭" ~ Casmekju20
"If I ever get a whiff of a street Beondaegi seller, I have to cross the street to the other side. Or just turn back. Forget it, wherever I was going, it was not as important as avoiding that smell. Tried the canned one once, since it had little smell and it was basically a dare. It tastes like it smells." ~ heliumneon
Cut through the Piss...
"Fermented fish." ~ LangMildInteressant
"My mom buys it every time she’s in Sweden on her monthly food shopping trip, and will text me when she has some so I know not to come by on visit for 2-3 days until that horrible smell is 100% gone!" ~ RowAcceptable4715
"I'm not Swedish but I once had a tiny tiny amount with some onions and sour cream on a piece of bread and it was honestly great. It kind of tasted like sauerkraut soaked in thai fish sauce with a hint of pee. The onions really cut out the pee taste though." ~ Colonel_Fart-Face
No, just no!!
"For me it's brains. I don't care if they're from a cow, a pig, a sheep or some other unfortunate creature. Doesn't matter if they're baked, poached, breaded then deep-fried. No, just no!! Not to mention that if the animal that supplied them was infected with the kind of prions that causes Mad Cow Disease."
"And other related ailments, brains would probably give a person a super-sized dose of the stuff. Eating brains is an item that I'd never put on my bucket list and if I die without ever having taken a bite of some, I won't have any regrets." ~ NoodlesrTuff1256
Only Deviled or Boiled...
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"Balut. Just something about a partially developed chicken egg that I just... can't... do." ~ adamchid
"How nice it is to learn that my egg eating nightmare scenario is an actual food people intentionally make in some parts of the world." ~ Hotshot2k4
I love eggs. I've tried them many ways. First rule no matter what... COOKED!
Look Away
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"I draw the line at fish eyes... one and done thank you." ~ hats4bats22
Flavoring
"Imitation coconut is the one thing I just can't seem to like." ~ Setsuna85
"Somewhat the opposite for me. I’m not super bothered by real coconut, but I’m not a huge fan of the texture (the little strings). I love the flavor though! So if something has coconut flavoring but without the strings, it’s a plus for me." ~ MonsiuerGeneral
"Imitation mango. It's the worst." ~ getthatbreadmyfriend
Failure
"I had Natto once. Once. Maybe it's 'healthy' but if your Wikipedia page describes it as an 'acquired taste' due to the odor and texture ... yeah it looks, smells, and tastes like snot goblins. Different culinary history, but also, if you need to ferment seafood in lye, I believe the appropriate words are 'failure to plan for winter' rather than 'delicacy.' ~ InannasPocket
Fishy Issues
"Tuna. When I was pregnant with my twins, I had horrible morning sickness the entire time. But my body just craaaaved Tuna Helper one night. Made a box, ate it all myself. Pretty easy to know where this goes. I threw up so hard and so long that I was throwing up just burning stomach acid when I stopped. I also peed my pants. I can't even look at a can of tuna at the store without feeling sour." ~ orangestar17
Run Away
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"That fake crab that tastes like plastic, and tangerines cause they give me the runs." ~ Hwil33
From the Body
"Any kind of brains. Do you want a prion disease? Because that's how you get a prion disease." ~ flyover_liberal
"I'm pretty adventurous with organ meats, I've had various lungs, hearts, livers, tongues, blood sausages, etc, but I draw the line at nervous tissue lol." ~ REDDIT
"I agree. Born in Africa. Raised in America. Dated a Canadian girl that craved water buffalo brains we we went to Nepal. I refuse to eat organ and she gave me so much sh*t. My 3rd word brain trumps my adventurous 1st world brain." ~ Hayabusasteve
This and That
"Add on question, are you a picky eater if you’ll eat most foods, but they have to be prepared a certain way? I will only eat carrots if they are raw or in carrot cake or curry. Little things like that for example." ~ jecama
"I’ll eat anything plant-based from any cuisine but can NOT do raw broccoli. I keep trying it with different dips and sauces but it’s gross unless cooked." ~ TheWildTofuHunter
"Green peppers are only ok in gumbo." ~ i_said_no_mayonnaise
Choices
"I made a deliberate choice to not eat octopus. Honestly, I used to love them!" ~ MBeebeCIII
"Octopi are wonderful creatures! Of course, so are all animals in their own ways. Subs like r/happycowgifs and r/pigifs make me happy I left eating animals behind." ~ pmvegetables
"I love it but seeing how inhumanely they are treated, I no longer order them. If a law was passed that bans cooking them alive and similar things (like in UK recently), I'll probably return to eating them. They may be smart but so are pigs, it would be hypocritical for me to exclude one." ~ REDDIT
Substitutes
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"Fake sugar, like aspartame, sucralose, stevia, etc. I'll eat (or would try) everything else in this thread, but I just can't stand the taste of sugar substitutes." ~ 40percentsafe
Texture Issues
"Natto. I try it every few years just in case anything's changed with my taste buds or texture preferences, but it's just as bad or worse every single time I give it another go. The slimy, stringy texture is the primary offender." ~ bufori
"There's a supermarket where I live that sells super small bean natto (just natto but beans are smaller) with mustard and soy sauce. That tastes ok." ~ thesadmarshmallow
"I can’t eat it alone. In a sushi roll? Mixed with rice and egg? Yeah it’s great. Not by itself though… It’s so healthy for you though, I really should eat more." ~ savwatson13
Calories. Calories.
"Shark Fin. Such a cruel process to obtain and flavorless from what I heard. I'll eat pretty much anything else, or try it once." ~ SleepyPrince
"Imitation Shark Fin soup is great tho. It's the thick and heavy broth that makes the whole thing taste amazing. Not the fin." ~ TearyEyeBurning
"FaceMy dude, I appreciate the thoughts on cruelty to sharks in making that dish, but there are many fuc*ed up cruel things done to animals in the making of other dishes as well. There are seven billion of us calorie dependent creatures that average out to 60kg of water and other stuff… that's a lot of food needed." ~ Steamwells
From Hell
"Aspic. 🤮" ~ HistoricalMarzipan
"I cannot agree with this more. There are a few things here I don't particularly like, but can stomach, like lima beans.
"Aspic however is the food from hell. Will refuse it every time, which fortunately is rare. The only other thing I cannot stomach beyond that is Vietnamese coriander. Supposed to be used as a substitute for people who think cilantro tastes like soap, yet it tastes like soap mixed with cleaning products." ~ BigSwedenMan
Teeth Popping
"Indonesian mother of a friend of mine once made a squid dish, flavorwise it was amazing, but eating entire minisquids just gave me a texture difference overload. Had to tap out once I got too much into my head." ~ albokun
"Had mini squids at a sushi restaurant once. Didn’t taste offensive at all, but biting down I could distinctly feel my teeth popping through the various membranes and organs. I really didn’t like the sensation." ~ SonOfMcGee
I thought I might be picky but I see I'm more normal than most. Don't die for food.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.
Teachers are meant to impart knowledge to the next generation, but they have to get the kids to pay attention first.
Not an easy task.
So many, too many schools are plagued by kids who have no self-control.
Teachers end up playing referee, counselor, and parent in addition to their teaching role.
All of those additional hats don't come with any additional pay.
It's no wonder we're in a teacher shortage.
Redditor _Planet_Mars_ wanted the teachers out there to share some rough student stories, so they asked:
"Teachers, what is the worst thing you've seen a student do?"
I once saw a kid drive their car into the school office.
They were drunk.
Thankfully no one was injured.
POP!
"The was a loud pop and a flash in the back corner of the classroom. I asked the student sitting there what happened. She said it was firecrackers. I sent her to the office. While she was still in the office, I realized the electrical outlets in the room didn’t work. At that point, another student fessed up that the student sent to the office had put a pair of scissors in the outlet. I’m not sure why that student thought it was better to lie and claim she was doing fireworks inside the school?"
mynamelessname
Pain
"When I was teaching preschool, I had a little girl, between 3-4, walk up to another girl who was sitting on the rug reading a book, grab her by the hair and slam her head into the wall. They hadn’t been interacting in any way prior. When I asked her why she did it, she said she 'wanted her to know it hurts.'"
No-Doubt-8748
That Kid
"A different type of bad than most of these."
"I was a teacher at a poor inner-city school. I had a lot of wonderful students but some difficult ones. One was the worst — bright but was always sleeping through class and acting up and never doing homework. I lived about 30 minutes away. One night, I stopped by the local Wawa after a night out with friends. Was at least 11:30 pm and I was already dreading the early morning drive to school. And who should be checking me out but my own 'problem' student."
"He was working late to make money for his family and then getting home at 1:00 am or later before heading into school on 4-5 hours of sleep. He was a smart kid. Really smart. I hope things worked out for him but I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if he’d been allowed to have a childhood and focus on his education."
Low_Cartographer2944
Blame the Heat
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"It gets very hot here in the warmer months and so the school put out those big containers for water for everyone. Well, one student was caught peeing into a bag and dumping it into the containers."
huzzahserrah
Some kids really need some deeper therapy.
Peeing in bags? Seriously?!
From Beneath
"My wife is an elementary teacher and has a kid this year that likes to slip under their desk and lick toes (we live in a warm state) and they all think he will grow up to be a creeper."
CherryManhattan
BOOM
"This was the worst thing I know of that happened at my high school."
"Someone brought a blasting cap to school (OK, that's a bit dumb), and flushed it down the toilet (that's REALLY dumb). Then told a teacher about it, because maybe it wasn't such a good idea (their best idea that day, really)."
"Wound up with that restroom being taken out of service while the fire department x-rayed the plumbing to find and remove the (admittedly tiny) explosive. Took several weeks before it was back in service."
gogstars
Sad
"My favorite teacher in high school was a very kind a lenient man. Do your work, be respectful, and follow the major school rules and you and him would be cool. The one thing that would seem minor, but that he was very strict about was taking any medication in any way shape, or form in his classroom."
"One day, I needed to take some Advil for cramps and asked to take it. He said I needed to go to the nurse for permission. I ended up asking him why he was so strict about it. it turns out, he had a student pass out in class one day at his former school. He tried to wake her up and called the nurse, but she wouldn't wake up. They called 911 and by the time they got there, she had died of an OD on narcotics she took in the bathroom that she had hidden in a Tylenol bottle. I don't know how he went back to teaching after that."
musical-nerd24601
Painful
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"Saw a 4-year-old purposely push a piece of furniture over onto another 4-year-old at preschool. It actually really hurt the other kid, and her parents took the school to court."
MPD1987
Kids are brutal.
No wonder people home school.