Our pets are our children. And remember what they always say.... children are always listening. In fact they are more attentive mentally when we are not paying attention. So every moment is a teaching moment. Our fur babies are no different, in fact they can be more in tune than humans. As I type this my dog Juliet is staring at me, and now I wonder what nefarious deed she has gleamed from my typing. I'll let you know.

Redditor u/shoonpo wanted all the fur baby parents to discuss a few things by asking.... What have you accidentally conditioned your pet to do?

Dirty Meow....

day laundry GIF Giphy

Bring me dirty laundry.

One day my cat brought me a sock and it was so cute so I petted him and praised him. That started a cycle of it and now he's constantly bringing dirty laundry to me.


The Sonata....

Upon hearing the Windows 7 sonata log-off sound, she jumps up and starts running around the room since I always locked my computer before leaving. And when I'm leaving, that usually means she's going to daycare (i.e. my Mom's house).

It's been 3 or so years since I switched to Windows 10, but just playing the sound on YouTube still gets a reaction out of her.


Take my Hand

The budgie had a broken leg in a little splint. He would climb to the roof of his cage with just his beak and good leg, then let go of his beak and hang by one leg then just stare at me. He knew I would stick my hand in and he could just fall off into my hand. He only did this when I was around because I was the only one who would stick my hand in.


The Sheets

International Cat Day Fighting GIF Giphy

Changing the sheets on the bed means play time. My cat likes to sit on the bed as I throw on the sheets likes that rainbow parachute elementary game. She tries to attack my hand if I straighten the edges while she's there too.


In the Eyes

My wife and I have pretty set sleep schedules during the week. If we stay up later on the weekend or w/e, our dog gets VERY huffy/offended and will sigh passive-aggressively at us until we go upstairs to bed.

Oh, and if one of his bowls is empty he licks it (also passive-aggressively) and then makes direct eye contact.


Damn Frank

My tortoise stands on my foot when he is hungry.

Edit: Here is Frank standing on my foot. This was shortly after he got here, so excuse his weepy eyes. He had a respiratory infection when he arrived from being a stray/previous improper care.


My tortoise will walk up to our patio door and pace back and forth when he is hungry. As soon as I open the door he walks in, waits for me to gather the food and then walks back outside with me to eat.


Scratch It All

My dogs know the sound of the drawer the cheese is kept in the fridge. They could be asleep in a completely different area, but if you open the cheese drawer they come running and sit like good boys for their cheese. They are herding dogs and will also herd the cat away if she won't stop meowing at me when I'm busy or if she tries to scratch anything.



Friends Dogs GIF by MOODMAN Giphy

My dog knew he would always get some ice to chew when I went to the fridge so any time he heard the ice machine on the fridge start he would come running in. Once he became deaf he would feel the vibrations in the floor from it and knew it was ice time!


"I want treats"

One time, my cat spotted a spider on my wall, since he was staring so obviously I was able to notice too. Grateful, I gave him treats and cuddles. He did it again a week later, same thing. Then one time he looks around frantically and I jump up to go check but I don't see a spider. He looks at me expectantly. After a few times like this I realized he learned that looking around intensely at stuff means treats, love and attention.

It's now been 4 years and he will still look at me then pointedly look around the apartment, then back at me, expecting a reward. Has it resulted in him spotting the occasional bug? Yes, especially since over the years I've learned the slight difference between his real expression and the fake "I want treats" one. Still, even if I know it's all a lie, it throws me off and sometimes I give in and look anyway. Maybe I'm imagining it but he always looks so satisfied afterwards, the fluffy jerk.

Edit: Cat in question. This weird fluffball has also learned to topple the water container and to poke the trash to get my attention. If you try to spray him with water when he misbehaves he will stand there pitifully and blink at the water so you feel bad and stop. He will sleep on your head at night and you might find scratches on your cheek or next to your eye, or he'll yell at the bedroom door if it's closed and try to turn the door knob and/or stick his paws under. He screams like a goat. On the bright side he learned to sit for food because food is the only true goal in his life.


Hey Kitty....

anne hathaway catwoman GIF Giphy

After my roommate got a cat, my dog answers to "Kitty Kitty Kitty" cause he wants love and/or treats.


Latex Issues

Fear rubber gloves. We live in a place with lots of fleas and ticks so we goo them every month. I figure the stuff goes through cat skin readily so it'll probably go through mine, so I use surgical gloves.

Whenever I pull out the box, the smarter of our two immediately bolts for the deepest recesses of the the house. The dumber one just looks at me even though he finds the process distasteful too.


Filthy Beasts

  1. I accidentally made it so when you whistle "this is the song that never ends" (frequently stuck in my and my SOs head) the cows come running for grain... if i don't have grain I get mooed at until I go get some.
  2. the chickens know that i get excited about eggs and when they lay they get the good scratch and will sometimes wait until I/m in the barn, squawk and lay an egg I'm front of me.

And 3) if the cat is thirsty he will knock over every drink container/cup he finds while meowing and then pitifully throw himself in front of me pretending to die. He started doing that after i faked my death for a Dr Pepper that my SO was holding.

Terrible animals.


Hiding Poop

Turtle GIF by María Victoria Giphy

My Tortoise likes to cover her poops after she's done. She places a blanket over them and pushes them out into a corner. She will then look at you, look at the corner with the blankets and then look back at you again until you remove it, otherwise she will tap/scratch at the walls of her enclosure to let you know she's got poops that need to be taken out of her sight.


face 2 face....

My niece loves to FaceTime my mom to talk to her dog. When the dog was a puppy, my mom used to pull her onto her lap when she would get FaceTimed.

Now the dog is 80 lbs and will jump in your lap if your phone or tablet starts making the default FaceTime ring.


​"Stop eating your face."

He has floppy jowls that sometimes get stuck in his teeth. I used to just casually say "dude stop eating your face" when it happened. On the occasions that he just happened to lick his teeth and spring it loose, I would give him a pat on the head and call him a good boy. Never any intentional training but now that he's an old man he's 100% responsive when I tell him. He'll clear his teeth out and present himself for his congratulatory head pats.

Edit: I don't have a good pic of him mid face munch, but here he is being floppy and here he is wishing you a happy and smiling day.



funny cat GIF Giphy

My kitten will aggressively headbutt my face every night before bed, for top of head kisses before she goes to sleep.


He Cray...

Get wet food at 4:00 am every day. I wake up early during the week and feed him wet food right away. Of course he doesn't care that it's the weekend. His internal alarm clock is down to minute with precision. And because he's a cat, and an A-hole, if we don't get up and get his food, he howls loudly through the house, opens shutters, walks on our faces, nudges our noses with his nose.... he's so relentless it's not even funny. But we love him.


Turtle Days

My tortoise will come lay on the patio when my husband plays guitar out there. He likes the music. He hides in his Dogloo from fireworks. On hot days he follows my kids around the backyard until they spray him with the hose to cool off. He's a very social guy. I can get him to follow me anywhere if I'm holding a hibiscus flower, his favorite treat.


"but I'm a good boy!!" 

I conditioned my cats to use the scratching post with treats and pets and lots of "good boy, good boy."

For the last 7 years, whenever I have to tell my one cat to stop chewing on something or anything like that, he goes to that post and scratches furiously looking at me like "but I'm a good boy!!"


Bubble Time

cat bath GIF Giphy

I take baths with my cat by letting her float in a plastic box. I keep the box in my closet. I only started doing this about a month ago, but now when I turn the bathwater on she runs to the closet and jumps in her box.



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