
My mom's side of the family all have PhD's in backhanded complimenting. I grew up getting things like:
"Oh my goodness would you look at those grades! You must work so hard! Your mom is so lucky, my daughter doesn't try hard at anything - not even her modeling career! Sure, she's gorgeous - but look at how much you try!"
Or my personal favorite: "You'll be so beautiful once you start to look more like your mother."
Spoiler alert: my mother has pale skin, straight black hair, and pale green eyes. I, on the other hand, am much more olive, have huge curly hair, and brown eyes. Unless we involved surgeons and some sketchy beauty practices, I was never going to start to look more like my mother.
Reddit user u/stellarscale asked:
And yeah, some of this sounds like exactly the sort of thing that they would say. So for those of you who have a "that person" in your life - be it a mom, a step mom, a mean friend, a boss, etc. - read this article with their voice in mind. It's weirdly therapeutic to realize you're totally not the only one who gets this stuff.
Faster Than You Look
After doing well in a 10 mile race, "you're a lot faster than you look." really means "Your fat @ss doesn't look like it could run 10 miles unless it was chasing a chicken wing on a fishing pole"
Community Benefit
A judge told me it would benefit the community when I told him I was enlisting in the army. At first I thought he meant the overall world/military community would benefit from me being there.
Now I understand that it means "the community we're kicking your b*tch @ss out of will benefit"
Not If I See You First
When you say "see you later" and they say "not if I see you first." I just realized not that long ago that it implies that they will actively avoid you if they see you first.
Like when you see someone you know in a store, and you don't want to interact with them, you might even change aisles for a bit to not come into contact with them. That's like an example of what that retort means.
- becelav
Principles
"She is always dedicated to her principles, even in the face of policy and procedures that conflict with those principles." - my boss
The 5th Grade Note
In 5th grade, we had an end of the year going away party. We had beach balls that everybody got and we were signing them for each other and writing notes like you would at a yearbook signing. Most of the times it was something like
Hey have an awesome break -Signed Name
I passed my ball to a classmate that had sat next to me for most of the year. She filled up an entire section of the beach ball with a note to me. I didn't read it at the time but did later when I got home. It said something like this:
It was nice sitting next to you all year. You seem like a really cool guy, but sometimes you go over the top and are really annoying. Have a good summer and I'll see you next year.
I didn't realize at the time how annoying I actually was. It was kind of a revelation to me. Not only was it a genuine note, but it seemed like she knew I could be a better person. It was really on point for a 5th grader to write such a genuine note, I hadn't gotten anything like that before.
The subsequent years, I really changed how I was. I tried to be a nicer person that tried to make others laugh and be happy instead of annoyed. I was only ever an acquaintance with the girl that wrote it, but that note was actually a pretty pivotal point in my childhood.
So wherever you are, thanks neighbor. I needed that complement/insult that you wrote me on my beach ball.
Slave To Fashion
"I love how your style never changes. I wish I could stick with a look, but I guess I'm just a slave to fashion trends. I mean, would you just look at what I'm wearing? Lol"
At first I thought "Hey, I do have a nice, well thought out, classic look that I've taken care to cultivate. How nice of them to notice and take the time to say such a nice thing."
It wasn't until the next day that I remembered that the person who said that and I do not get along, at all, and it was probably an insult and a way to direct attention to their new outfit. I'm an idiot.
Voluptuous
My ex's mother described me as 'voluptuous' and I felt like a curvy bombshell! Until the following week. I overheard her saying it was how you described someone when they were chubby but you didn't want to say.
Actually
Any compliment with the word "actually" injected in it. "You actually look good today" or "that was actually a good idea"
Southern People
I'm just gonna go ahead and let everyone here know something. Southern people are assh*les. We are just really good at sounding sweet about it.
If someone from the south says "Bless your heart" they are telling you that you're being a p*ssy or that you got yourself into this situation.
If someone says to you "awh, Sweetheart" or "Sweetie" in any other way than romantically they are calling you an absolute idiot.
Last but definitely not least if you ever say something controversial or something you immediately regret and get told "Well, isn't that just Quaint" you basically just got told to shut the f*ck up and watch your mouth.
Think of Me.... Think of Me fondly....
When I was in elementary school one day we had to write down positive comments and "room for improvement" comments about each other. It was a lesson in handling criticism and giving out compliments. We would then read all of them for said kid and talk about it. When it came time to be my turn, I got no "room for improvement" comments or positive comments. At first I thought it was a compliment that I needed to improve nothing. Then this popular girl came up to me at lunch and told me it's because no one ever thinks about me so they had nothing to say about me. In hindsight, I was very quiet and shy and it kind of helped me get out of my box. But god damn did it hurt for a while. Yoinkie2013
Not so Cool....
I was told I was an intimidating uberc**t once. I thought it was a perfect compliment to my hXc punk rock teenager lifestyle, now I cringe to think about the nihilist trash bag I'm sure I was to deserve such a title. IndustrialPigmy
Still a plus...
So this only kinda works, but in 8th grade we had to write down a compliment about everyone in our class. One kid wrote, "You're okay." Lovealltigers
NOW I see!
I lost 40ish pounds and my coworker goes "I never really noticed how big you had gotten until now." I laughed and agreed but looking back - that's only something I can think! ashlyn0912
Weird Chemistry....
"I'm like, weirdly attracted to you." Why does it have to be weird? gaykeyyy1
Some people use 'weirdly' to mean 'more than I'd expect' and that can honestly be a real compliment or genuine confusion, just as easily as an insult.
IE, a guy I dated, is one of the most attractive people I've ever met let alone dated, yet he ticks absolutely none of my usual boxes - if anything, he's the total opposite, both physically and personality wise... we both though it was surprising an unexpected and...well, weird! That doesn't make it rude or bad.
But, some people do mean it badly - the, 'I'm weirdly attracted to you ...considering how ugly you actually are' kind of thing. onlycatscare
Hey Sailor....
Dad used to tell me I "drank like a thirsty sailor." Thought it was a compliment because I was in elementary school and I thought sailors were cool. Realized as a teen that I had just chugged absolutely every drink and he was trying to get me to slow down. cryptidkelp
All by yourself?
Had to bring a notebook to piano lessons. One day I forgot, and the teacher wrote down the notes on a separate piece of paper. When I got home, I taped it to my notebook, and the next lesson she said,
Her: "Did you do this yourself?"
Me: *All proud and happy little kid* "Yep."
Her: "Good for you."
it wasn't until recently when I was going through my old notes that I realized I accidentally taped it together with two other blank pages, making them useless. And when I think back to it, she said it in more of a sarcastic manner. TheAbominableBanana
But I draw real, real good.....
At the 8th grade commencement, my teacher gave a short speech about each of the students. In mine, she said she was impressed at the speed and quantity of my drawings, and listed a bunch of things she thought I drew.
She did not mention the quality of the drawings at all, and none of the subjects were things that I had actually drawn. I get the feeling she didn't know me very well and that was all she could come up with, so I wasn't too mad about it.
The real problem was that she didn't mention that I got my work done first, so my dad got really pissed that I was drawing instead of working, and good luck trying to convince my dad of anything when he's angry. At this point in my life, I was still pretty afraid of him in general, so that didn't help either. Aperture_T
Family can be brutal!
My boss telling a new hire, "We treat each other like family." Apparently I'm the ex-husband. ambermage
I'm an Artist!
I'm a musician/guitarist. One time at a large jam, I sang and played a song that I just kind of picked out by ear. Never actually looked up the chords or anything. Afterward, someone commented, "That was an interesting arrangement of that song!"
At first, I thought he was saying he liked it. The more I think about it, I'm pretty sure it was his nice way of saying, "I know the correct way to play that song, and that wasn't it." toonces
People With Pornography Addiction Describe The Moment They Realized They Had A Problem
Pornography can be healthy.
But in moderation.
And therein lies the problem.
Pornography has become a problem for many people.
So how do you recognize the signs when you think it may be having a negative impact?
And where do you go from there?
Redditor Miix_ wanted to see who was willing to fess up about their relationships with pornography, so they asked:
"People with a porn addiction, how did you realize you had it?"
Frequency
"Watched them even when not horny."
thestarsinmysky
"I sometimes watch it while I'm eating like I'm watching a Netflix show."
KenKaniffLovesEminem
Sleep First
"I looked up addiction one time and it said stuff along the lines of 'Causes lack of sleep, worse performance at work/life due to thinking about said thing, and depression.' All those boxes were checked so now I know. I just don't know how to take care of it."
GodKing_Zan
Can't Stop
"When I wanted to stop watching it, but I kept going back to watching even though I wanted to stop."
Arrowkill
"Same, that and because I only know it was father's day because pornhub had a premium promotion."
Raskalnekov
"Yeah when you're at the point of 'I want to fight the urge, but it takes too much energy, so i'll just let it go on and figure it out later,' that's when you're addicted in my opinion (experienced it myself)."
PaleontologistDry118
Cold Turkey
"I went to Turkey 🇹🇷 and tried to access my favourites. They blocked virtually all porn. It ruined my vacation, I left early."
"I checked myself into therapy and just quit. I have had some relapses, but I now have a support system and a mentor. I will be back to two years porn-free April 17th."
Puzzleheaded_Ad928
"Turkish person here! Congratulations on getting your life back, and hope you revisit the country!"
volcanopenguins
Problems
"I couldn't get erect with my girlfriend and I preferred porn over sex."
louied862
"The s**t ain't worth it. I now use my imagination or just physical touch when I crack off. It's healthy sexuality. Porn is just escapism and isn't real."
louied862
Not being able to be with a loved one is a big red flag.
Rush
"I thought about watching porn basically everytime, sexualized almost every women I saw and I used it as a dopamin rush every time I felt a down."
SirBurgonya
Crazy
"Actually, I heard this story from someone else (it happened to them): So this girl hooked up with a guy and in the middle of the hook up he takes out his phone and watches porn. Yeah, that’s how bad addictions could go, it’s horrible."
CakebitezCrisis
"I've read interviews with female pornstars talking about how the guys have to watch porn to stay hard while they're literally having sex with pornstars. Like they have to stop the scene and they have to get out their phone and watch porn for a little bit to continue. Crazy."
DannySorensen
Cycles
"I had no interest anymore in real life. it felt underwhelming."
thebeeleaveme
"I appreciate you posting this, because I feel like it’s exactly what my partner is going through. Of course, it’s a vicious cycle because he goes back to it when he’s feeling bad and then it just continues getting worse. I have no idea how to help him stop the cycle."
J3llyDonut
Ladies Too
"Planning every daily event around when I could get back and watch porn. Reading smut while at the park with my kids. And finally getting caught by my Mother in law. This is from a ladies perspective because we can definitely have a porn addiction too."
Totallymommy
We applaud these folks for addressing they may have an issue and taking the steps the need to address it.
How many times have you sat down to binge-watch the show the world has been talking about where the hype is off the charts?
Then 20 minutes in you're re-evaluating your choices in friends.
To say some TV shows have been overrated is an understatement.
My list is long, but Reddit also had a lot to say.
Redditor Marambal17 wanted hear about which television shows left viewers feeling empty, so they asked:
"What's the most overrated TV series of all time?"
I still don't get the love for 'The Big Bang Theory.'
I'm lost.
YUCK
"Riverdale... holy s**t it sucks."
kyybby
"To be fair, I feel like most people at this point watch that show to see what nonsense the writers come up with."
No_Aioli_6364
Meredith Who?
"Grey’s Anatomy… I mean how many series did they milk out of the show?"
Cometqueen
"Yeah, I stopped watching after Sandra Oh left."
GingerSchnapps3
"The first few seasons were borderline masterpieces. Very well structured, with developed, likeable characters, intersecting storylines, tense drama, comedic output, handling of evolving romance, and a phenomenal soundtrack. That’s where most of the acclaim comes from."
RobotYoshimis
I hate shows like this...
"The Curse of Oak Island. They build up the conclusion of each episode so much with conjecture and folklore to excite you, only for the outcome to be very minimal and unimpressive. Holy s**t? A piece of wood from 1704??? WE ARE FINDING THE TREASURE TOMORROW."
Hinkhall27
"I hate shows like this, and that Bigfoot show, because if they’d found anything in real life, it would have already made international news, so watching these types of shows is absolutely pointless. On a side note, I would absolutely kill to know why and how The Money Pit was made."
Beckyd123
Phonies
"Those stupid real life drama shows on MTV. They have to be staged! 'Hey baby, do you want to star on this MTV show with me to find out if Im cheating?" No freaking way they are real."
wolf805
"They’re not. People get paid to be on them."
"Source: My sister and her bf got approached at a mall and offered $1000 to be on the one where your parents hate your bf so you go on a date with three new guys and you get to choose a new guy or your old one. They didn’t do it."
misskissholder
Go Away
"The Masked Singer."
TheEmbarcadero
"Everytime a commercial comes on for it I pause and go 'How the f**k is that still on the air, who watches that garbage!?'"
ComplexPackage117
I go back and forth with this show.
But my patience is running thin.
Oh Grandma
"The longest running show, THIS IS THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES."
Then_Collar2208
"It's just 'Days of our Lives' and the catchline is 'Like sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives.'"
"Yes, I had a grandma who watched it daily."
9966
This is not love...
"The Bachelor and Bachelorette."
xNED37x
"An important part of this conversation is the community and media that surrounds these shows: the podcasts, the discussions with friends, watch parties, Instagram drama, or just watching together with a consistent group. My wife is a full Bachelor series watcher."
"But I get the sense that a big part of it is being able to connect with her friends and plug into comforting routines like listening to Bachelor podcasts on her morning run. I occasionally will watch an episode with her, and an episode here or there can be entertaining, but it is everything around the show that makes it a success."
robinhoodlum
Talentless
"The Got Talent. All you gotta do is make up a story about how your dead granny used to love that song and you are doing that to pay a homage to her, yadda yadda yadda, golden buzzer, yay you won, big surprise."
PensadorDispensado
"I used to really like the show, and watching people who have put forward the kind of effort to master their craft. Now days, I can't stand to watch it. Why do I need to find out you lived in an impoverished shack with three diabetic donkeys and an abusive chihuahua to enjoy your close up magic?"
TheUnbeliever
Just Die Already
"Sorry but I absolutely hate The Walking Dead. The way they stretch the storyline, and add what I call music videos that usually start when one character says to another: let’s go back to the store! And they go through the woods avoiding zombies, so cool! I was done somewhere around season 3."
neoquijote
Stop Crying
"This is Us. Just come up with one take of woe after another then play sappy piano music."
WWDB
"Trauma porn."
Annie_Mous
Some of the biggest issues with these shows are them not bowing out sooner.
Know when to go.
People Explain Which Things Get Way More Hate Than They Deserve
There's an old saying that, "You can't make everybody happy," and that seems true for practically anything, from people's actions to TV shows to simply having to do the laundry.
But there are certain subjects and activities that seem to get a lot more hate than they might deserve.
So much so, it's confused some people.
Curious if other people noticed the hate, Redditor StoneCT asked:
"What gets more hate than it should?"
A Small Kindness
"Smiling at others randomly or just being friendly."
"It seems that a quick smile, acknowledging someone’s presence, or saying hi is just not the thing to do anymore?!"
"Makes me kind of sad. I’m pretty introverted, but I just want to be outwardly happy out and about without being met with glares or resting b***h face."
- flapsAhoyMateys
Honoring the Inner Child
"Being an adult and liking things that are considered childish."
"People get so much hate and get told to 'grow up.' Listen, I didn’t get to enjoy my childhood. Let me enjoy things. Let me play video games. Let me watch the animation. Let me buy that Tamagotchi. It’s not hurting anyone."
- HippieWitchyWoods
Going It Alone
"Solo-traveling is freakin' liberating. Sure, I get a little lonely, but there are NO schedules and you can randomly stop if you see something even slightly interesting."
- DerpsandRags
Just Getting Some Fresh Air
"I go out by myself all the time. I’ll go for a few drinks just to get out of the house, grab a beer, sit outside to enjoy the weather."
"Occasionally I’ll run into people I know, and they try to invite me on for their night, and I’m like, 'I’m good, man, just having a few beers.'"
"And I get these, 'Ookaay? Whatever' type replies."
"Just because I’m out doesn’t mean I want to be social, I just want to be around socialization sometimes."
- turtles138
The Joy of Mocktails
"Not wanting to drink. When you tell someone that you don't drink, most of the time they act like you just told them you juggle heads in your spare time."
- yankstraveler
No Relationship
"Being single. Everybody acts like it’s the worst thing in the world, but if you are content with being on your own, it’s really not. It’s actually quite relieving to not have the responsibility of another person."
- No_Lengthiness_8069
Still at Home
"Being in your twenties or above and living at home with your parents or other family members."
- Ragnbangin
Living Childfree
"Being a millennial and wanting to live childless or childfree. For heaven's sake, just let people choose how they want to live their lives."
"Want to be childfree? Cool! Want kids? Cool!"
- obbycake
Love What You Love
"Brussels Sprouts are my favorite vegetable."
- Tall_Dark_and_Lurking
Loveable Midnight Furbabies
"Black cats are some of the cutest, most goofy kitties ever. I love them!"
- SunnyBunchy
What's with the Hate?
"Donkeys. Those poor fellas just be chillin', doing menial work, and not disturbing anybody, and for some reason, the term came to mean someone who's utterly incompetent and stupid."
- dvd25
Something Written By Hitchcock
"Crows are the best. Gotta respect an animal that'll tell its friends about you if you treat it well or f**k it over. They are just smart MF-ers."
"They'll pay you for snacks and possess an intellect on par with a seven-year-old human. Some say they rival apes."
"Clearly, the only thing stopping them is the lack of hands with opposable thumbs."
- AdmiralClover
Helping the Environment
"Nuclear energy. It's very safe, but a couple of massive disasters due to gross negligence (and also the fact that the word nuclear is involved) have given it a bad image to the point where people just assume it's dangerous and a bad idea."
"Tell you what the bad idea is, it's sticking to fossil fuels."
- WarmProfit
"Moist"
"The word 'moist.' People love to jump on the bandwagon of hating it. 20 years ago, nobody hated it, but since some people started making a scene over it, it’s become a thing and it's dumb."
- hakuna__fritata
Judgment: The Sequel
"People being found not guilty of crimes."
"Usually, before a trial people have made their mind up about a situation and think a person is guilty. So when the jury gets all the information and finds someone not guilty, people get mad at the person found not guilty and the jury."
"Do we not want a system that looks at evidence-based information before making a decision that will affect someone’s life?"
- tistick
Redditors were surprised to see some of the things that were receiving such negative attention, especially since so many of these are a person's individual choice and which don't impact other people's lives at all.
Sometimes we're in a hurry when we're getting our groceries, and in our rush, we decide the self-checkout line might be the faster option.
But frustratingly, sometimes that is not the case.
Redditor TPABolts88 asked:
"At stores in the U.S., what's so wrong with 'self-checkouts'?"
The Cost of Groceries
"The people who are clueless about self-checkout are definitely an issue, but they're not the only issue, at least to me."
"My main thing is that these self-checkouts are a money-saving measure for the store/company. But the store's/company's prices stayed the same or rose."
"If I'm doing the work that they used to pay someone to do, my grocery bill should be reduced, or at least stabilized."
- SayHiIntrepidHeroes
Not Worth It
"'Please place your item in the bagging area' about one second after I scan the item."
"The scanner scans the item two times and then has to wait for a person to come to cancel the item."
"I hate how these things work. I'm not opposed to using them when they work right and they should really be working better but they're annoying as h**l. I'd rather deal with a human."
- Illustrious-Mix9904
Unnecessary Errors
"'Please place your item in the bagging area' needs to come on like one or two seconds later than it does. It seems like ShopRite wants me to hurl everything sideways so it passes over the scanner and lands in the bagging area in a single motion."
- Muroid
Sensor Issues
"When they have over-sensitive sensors that need an employee to reset the scale after every item, and there's only one employee watching a dozen self-checkouts, it slows everyone down (Meijers was notorious for that)."
- Old-Passenger-9065
Inconsistency Woes
"For me, the biggest issue is the inconsistency store-to-store with sensitivity. One store I shop at often has zero problems with the self-checkout. Occasionally I get the 'please wait for attendant' notice, but that’s maybe one out of five times."
"The other store I go to the same amount, the self-checkout makes me question my sanity every time."
D**n_you_Fe2O3
The Adult Hokey Pokey
"You put your item in the bagging area. You take your item out of the bagging area."
"You put your item in the bagging area and you shake the self-checkout machine all about."
"You do the hokey pokey as an employee comes around. That's what it's all about!"
- TechyDad
Over It
"I straight abandoned an entire grocery cart half-scanned. It ran into some sort of an error, wanting me to put something in the bag I’d already put in the bag and wouldn’t let me move forward."
"I waited like five minutes and there was no employee anywhere to be seen. I could scan anything and it started beeping at me if I removed items to put them back in my cart."
"So I shrugged it off and said, 'f**k it,' left everything where it was, said sorry to the guy stuck in line behind me, and walked my happy a** out the door to another grocery store where I proceeded to take my items to an actual human who won’t get stuck like the computer does."
- funklab
No Technical Difficulties, Please
"I'm 100% introverted so I love them. As long as nothing goes wonky and I have to call someone over to fix something."
- iamcatfurniture
Human Error
"Sometimes when I go to use self-checkout, I end up behind someone with an entire f**king cart of groceries who very clearly is not technology-savvy in the least. They stand there looking at the thing like it just landed from Mars, look around desperately for assistance, and start mashing s**t."
"Anyway, that’s the only thing wrong with them. Stupid people. Get in line if you have 60 items and can remember a time when everyone on the same street shared the same phone number."
- tykogars
Unforgivable
"I think the issue is the customers at this point. Self-Checkouts have been a thing in most major grocery stores for almost 20 years at this point."
"If you're still incapable of following the directions on a touch screen after 20 years *you* are the problem."
"I'm tired of forgiving stupidity."
- Ohgood9002
New Self-Scan Options
"Sam's Club in the US has a phone scan option. I love it. I scan as I go, I can see my running total so I know if I'm over budget and I check out as I'm walking to the front. They have one or two people checking every person on the way out."
"Most of the time I don't mind self-checkout, but when I have a lot of stuff (ie weekly grocery trip) it doesn't make sense. When there are no regular lanes even open and people are forced to do big runs via self-checkout, that's when it's annoying."
"Now, at fast food places, I think it's dumb. My orders get screwed up enough as it is. If I'm going to put the order in and check out on my own, I'd rather go make the food too so I KNOW it's right!"
- Dizzy149
Senior Citizens
"I think of lonely senior citizens whose only interaction might be at the checkout. My aunt was a cashier and she made it her business to chat up anyone who wanted to when she retired, there were so many people who told her they would miss talking to someone."
"I read on Reddit a while ago that in the Netherlands, they instituted 'slow' lines to address this, which warms my cold, under-insured American heart."
- TheGreenBeagle
Profiting Who?
"They're meant to replace jobs. These large companies don't want to continue paying employees to scan and bag your items, they want you to do it for free instead. It's all about profits at the expense of low-wage workers."
- Ounceofwhiskey
Always Faster
"There's nothing wrong with them. I get through self-checkout 10x faster doing it myself, no matter how much I have."
- B0rtles
Me Time
"I don't want to wait for someone to scan and bag my stuff anyway, I enjoy having the option of doing it myself. In and out of the grocery store, no muss no fuss, no questions, no asking for donations, etc."
- BakuTheMooneater
Though most people now utilize the self-checkout lines, they seem to have an endless supply of concerns about them.
From technical errors to human errors, they may not always be the time-saving machines major companies insisted they were.