Going out to eat is supposed to be a pleasurable experience. It's something we do to celebrate events and milestones, something we do to share time with a potential partner, something we do just for delicious food we don't have to cook (or clean up after.) But that doesn't always mean it's going to go well.
Improper food storage, terrible staff, unsanitary conditions and more can all potentially turn a night out into a night gone wrong. So Reddit user Squid50s asked food professionals of reddit to share some of the red flags that patrons should look out for when they head out to eat.
Their responses will definitely have us keeping our eyes peeled the next time we head out for a meal.
The Sprite Nozzle
If there's a self serve soda machine go ahead and take a napkin around the inside of the Sprite/clear-soda-available nozzle. If your napkin comes out pink, brown, or orange SKIP THE SODA.
A Sprite nozzle should come out clear. If it's pink or orange then it's slime mold. If it's brown, it's likely cola. But if the cola nozzle was put on the sprite dispenser and is still brown you know the nozzles aren't being cleaned properly.
Also go ahead and look closely at the ice chute. I see green algae in those a lot.
Germy Gourmet
Sick waitstaff. If restaurant owners encourage their waitstaff to work while sick (or don't help to find a replacement), you can count on getting sick too.
Down In Flames
You might have to be a chef to recognize this, but my red flag is going into a busy restaurant and noticing none of the tables have food ,or not many customer are yet eating. This usually means the kitchen is going down in flames.
One time I noticed this and could see some food slowly stacking up in the window, but no orders coming out. I mentioned it to the server and he replied," I wouldn't suggest ordering food". He brought our drink check and we left. He was tipped well for his honesty.
- jeraco73
Prime Meal Times
The empty or almost empty parking lot at prime meal times. There is your sign. If you do venture inside, if it is dirty, imagine how the kitchen looks.
Too Much
Not a chef but my best-friend is and he says a large menu. Chances are a lot of things on a menu means that they are frozen. Also, it's difficult to train people to be good at making 40 different things so the quality is going to suffer.
SOME places like Chinese or Indian restaurants that are different combinations of about 30 fresh ingredients are an exception.
Happy Staff
Not a chef, but ex-restaurant manager. How happy is the staff? Do they seem like they like their jobs? If the staff are miserable, you're not going to get quality food or service. It's worth seeking out restaurants that treat their staff well. If they're treated well, they'll treat you well.
- ohno
Bathroom Check
Walk into the restroom first thing. If it looks like cleaning there has been neglected, the kitchen is probably worse.
- blarnbatt
Sushi Smell
I've heard that if you actually smell fish at a sushi restaurant, it's in your & your insides best interest to hightail it out of there.
Sushi chef ringing on this one.
There are many factors that play a role in the development of bad smell, and pure fishiness has more to do with bloodlines (chiai) and blood than anything else. I'm seeing a lot of this and that, but no one is really hitting it on the head.
A fish smells like a fish. There's stages in its breakdown however, that change smell by removing different pieces of anatomy:
- whole fish -
Not much to say here, should smell and look like a regular fishymcfishfish. Flesh should be elastic and rebound after touch (not bruising or leaving dents), gills should be bright in color and not gray or dark brown, eyes should not be cloudy, and the scales or skin shouldn't be very slimy.
- head and gut (H&G) -
Scales generally intact (depends on fish, I would scale a bass here but not a salmon), not slimy at all. The fish should have been well cleaned with water and scrubbed then wiped down with a dry rag. The head is removed with the guts and the belly is opened.
And this is crucial boys, you bleed the fish out by making an incision on the spine inside the belly and thoroughly cleaning that out. Then dry it.
- filet -
Filleting a fish is basically removing the spine as it traverses from the dorsal fin to the spine. You do it one side at a time, but the end result is equivalent.
- saku/loin -
This is what's screwing people up real bad here. You still have to pull off the ribs to expose the belly meat, then separate the shoulder from the belly across the bloodline. The bloodline is where the spine USED to be but it's perpendicular to the orientation of the removed spine. It's removed as you separate the two pieces (belly and shoulder) ....
Which finally brings me to chiai. In traditional Japanese and Asian it can get left on. However, it goes bad faster than the meat. Since I'm not great at anatomy I can't really tell you exactly what it is, but to my American palate it tastes terrible alone. Leaving this on will cause it to go bad faster and you can greatly extend the life of the product by removing it before storage. It's generally removed after skinning and predominantly on the shoulder loin.
So let's recap. We've removed the head, guts, bones, scales, skin, blood, bloodline, and chiai. What's left?
Pure fish. It doesn't smell at all except for minor amounts of fish oil. If I catch even a whiff of fishiness while I'm working service with a finished product, it goes in the trash.
Gray meat? Trash.
Slimy? Trash.
Smell? Trash.
But fish, good fish, should not smell like aged fish. Repeated encounters with unclean or relatively unclean surfaces can inspire bacterial growth that cause smell. Which is why I clean my cutting board and wash my hands regularly to reduce cross contact and remove biofilm. Biofilm is what bacteria thrive in. It's like nature's natural petri dish. It's why I remove the slime.
If You Can See The Kitchen Then Look For...
Worked in a bunch of restaurants in college. Many say look at the drop tiles in the ceiling but that is more indicative of the land owner than the restaurant owner. If I can see the kitchen I always look at the cleanliness of counters, floors, walls. What do the rags look like? Where is the trash in relation to the cook surfaces and prep stations. If the grease traps on the griddle exhausts look extremely dirty (should be removed and cleaned nightly). Is there any food out on prep stations possibly getting warm? Should it be in refrigerated stations underneath the cook area or in the walk in fridge?
Pending
For my NYC people "Grade Pending" doesn't mean that the restaurant is awaiting judgement on their health inspection. It means that they failed and are given a grace period to fix their wrongs.
Listen To Your Server
Not a chef but a waitress for several restaurants. If the wait staff recommends you don't get something, TRUST THEM. I used to work at a country club but the kitchen was horrible. Food was rotting in the fridge, raw and uncovered meat was put above uncovered desserts, etc.
If I noticed food going bad or set where it may be contaminated, and a member tried to order it, I'd straight up tell them, "I don't recommend that, but (insert menu item) is great!". Waitresses/waiters don't always do this, but if they do, listen to them! It might prevent you getting sick.
A Green Flag
More a green flag: if you're eating ethnic food and all the customers are of the ethnicity in question then the food is probably going to be freaking awesome.
Online Reviews
Don't put too much stock in online reviews. You have to remember that people are more likely to review after a bad experience than a good one. At the same time, part of my job as a waiter was to write fake reviews for us on TripAdvisor. It was a really decent place too but we definitely drew the wrong crowd and struggled to get happy customers to leave a review. Not saying don't trust reviews at all, just be mindful of it.
Also if you finish your starters for instance and you're really not happy with the food or the service, just pay for what you've had and leave. Most of these nights that are on course to be disappointing are still salvageable and there's no point spending money on a sh!t night because you don't want to be rude.
The Substitution Conundrum
Watch for "No Substitutions".
If the place makes it's own food, they can sub virtually anything for anything else. While they may try to play it up as "Our food is perfect and we refuse to change it on moral grounds", its almost always a sign of "This was made 2 months ago and all we do is reheat it."
- Edymnion
This can go either way. What you're saying can be correct, but there's more to it.
I used to work at a place that had no substitutions, but they made everything to order and as close to "from scratch" as possible. Why did they have the policy?
Because during the rush, people would come in and sub something so much that it wasn't even a menu item anymore. This would throw off food costs sometimes, and make tickets drag out of the kitchen a lot. You know what makes people complain more than anything else? Slow food on their lunch break.
It got to be so bad that the owners (who owned a number of restaurants) bailed on it and sold the place. I was briefly part of management there before it closed and got a look at the books, and they were in the black. The hassle of dealing with the picky yuppies at the location wasn't worth the amount of profit for them (they were in the black, but they weren't deep in the black), something I was told months later when I ran into one of them and asked why they'd sell a profitable business.
- Speedly
It more depends where you are.
I've worked in roughneck area's and mods are super rare.
But when I work in more so called "higher class" area's, people start getting more picky and demanding. Sometimes it's just because the customer wants to sound like they are more better/refined then they are, like wanting as steak "medium rare with no pink inside". By the way, that's literally not a real thing. If you don't want pink inside then it's not medium rare.
- Xatolos
I dunno, I've seen some crazy stuff. Pizza no crust was one that particularly threw me for a loop.
"so... you just want sauce and cheese?"
"yup"
"We can't run sauce and cheese through a pizza oven."
"Oh sure you can, just put in on some foil."
Queue asking the manager what the f they want me to do with this and a rather heated discussion with the guy working the pizza station, and that customer got their tomato sauce and cheese on foil.
Most subs are fine, but people will get way out there and start inventing their own stuff. Another of my favorites was:
"I see you have broccoli as a side"
"Yup"
"and you have chicken strips"
"Yup"
"And I see you have soy sauce over here on the asian hot wings"
"yeah..."
"I want to order chicken strips no fries sub broccoli, and I want it stir fried and tossed with soy sauce, and some ginger if you have it"
And suddenly we're panda express.
The Kitchen Door
If possible, take a good look at the yard/parking lot/whatever the kitchen opens to. Check if it's reasonably clean, if there's rubbish bins or the bags are left on the ground, if the bags look puffy (meaning they've fermented and therefore have been sitting out for a while) and/or with holes in the bottom area (that means rodents). If the bags are left on the ground, that means the kitchen's not the cleanest around, as they will attract all kinds of pests. It's a pretty huge sign that either the chefs don't care or the owner's too cheap to buy bins and / or pay for proper garbage disposal. And I don't think I need to point out that a cheap owner will not buy the fresh, more expensive ingredients if s/he can get away with the cheapest frozen sh!t.
Also, if you're close enough to the door, check the floor for cigarette butts or joints. Lots of cigarettes are not a problem: a busy kitchen is stressful and plentiful cigarette breaks are what keeps a chef or line cook running without cracking under pressure. Few cigarettes may mean the kitchen's understaffed, overworked or both, so they're likely to take shortcuts when cooking or prepping. Lots of weed leftovers... just choose another restaurant.
If it's an open kitchen, pay attention to how the chefs behave with the dishwashers. If they're respectful and treat them like human beings, or yell constantly and mistreat them. A mistreated washer is a HUGE red flag telling of a dysfunctional kitchen, stressed chefs, unacceptable shortcuts, and an idiot in charge, so you'll be better off eating somewhere else.
A Mafia Front
My dad used to work in the restaurant business. We'll get back to that in a second.
One time, my wife and I went to a restaurant and had a very strange experience.
The place was highly rated, but we came in at an odd hour, so it was fairly dead. Like two other tables being served, out of thirty available. When the waiter comes to take our order, they have a list of specials longer than the regular menu.
The strangeness starts a little after that. We notice that there's, like, fifteen or twenty extra wait staff. Despite this clearly being a time of day that only needs a skeleton crew. Most of them are just, like, standing there. Not hanging out chatting, like happens at normal restaurants during a lull. Just standing there like they're expecting sometime to require their attention. But like seven people doing that, for three tables.
Somehow, despite there being thirty goddamn waiters for five people, we have terrible service. Despite seven people just watching stuff, no one checks in on us. Our food takes forever to come out. The waiters that are walking back and forth don't walk near or see us, so it takes us five minutes to flag down a manager. Some of the waiters may have had poor English as well, despite this not being an ethnic restaurant, although I may be mis-remembering that part. The managers promises to find out what's going on with our food.
The manager brings out our food. He tells us that he found it, since it was ready, but no one had brought it out. Because I guess all of the twenty waiters had more important things to do like standing around seeing if anyone needed salt or a napkin? How can I need salt if I don't have my food yet?
After some serious discussion, my wife and I conclude this must be a mafia front. All these people must be standing around appearing to be gainfully employed for money-laundering purposes. If the restaurant claims to be very busy with cash transactions during this time, the IRS will be suspect if there aren't enough payroll taxes to support waitstaff. So, they have real waitstaff. Maybe these people have extra duties on the side, not during business hours. Or something.
A few weeks later, my wife and I share with my dad our story of this ridiculous restaurant.
"First of all," we say, "the list of specials was like a mile long!"
"That sounds like it was a front," he says.
We are flummoxed. "OK but like... I mean, yes, it definitely was... but we didn't even get to the sketchy stuff!"
My dad explains: Restaurants need a supply chain. If something's on the menu, the restaurant needs a dependable source for those ingredients. They need to have it in stock, fresh, of acceptable quality, daily. Chefs spend a lot of time and effort sourcing ingredients. A good part of the Food Channel is spent in markets and whatnot.
If most of the menu is variable, then their supply chain is "my cousin has a box of fish that he says fell off the back of a truck, I guess halibut is on the menu today!" This is a reflection of their business practices in general.
So now we know: If the list of "specials" is longer than the menu, then it's a mafia front.
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"Side note..."
Sous chef of two years (which isn't very long) at an Artisan Sausage Shop which is well respected. So other head chefs at local places come by and feel comfortable talking shit about other establishments and different chefs have some similar things to say.
Mainly in sushi restaurants if you go for sashimi/nigiri/sushi and if the meat isn't on that lil clear cold bar where they showcase the various raw fish, an hour or so after open, then that means the chef is lazy and hasn't prepared the fish properly so that it is preserved at a proper temperature. Says a lot about the laziness of chefs working there and the managers keeping tabs on them. Especially sketchy if you're in a land locked city/town and you know the fish is almost always frozen.
Oh also bathroom cleanliness will tell you a lot about how they stay sanitary.
Side note, expect your food at 'nicer' restaurants (30+ per person) to be touched by chefs without their gloves, meaning their bare hands and they sometimes won't wash their hands for an hour or so. So lots of hands touching food and then other food so on. Freaks some people out cus if you've worked in service industry you know chefs can work high intensity during rush and they be getting swamp ass and itch their ass subconsciously and then plate your food.
"It's quite obvious..."
The sauce tops. It's quite obvious if it's been cleaned or not. Chances are it will tell you if the bottle is sanitary.
"After one health infraction..."
I worked in a high end seafood restaurant one summer in Vancouver. After one health infraction, they stepped their game up and ensured everything was fresh and all kitchens were cleaned top to bottom every night. I started as a dishwasher and move up to prep-cook. They had like eight of us stay one or two hours after closing to deep clean the kitchens. We would remove all the overhead vents, clean every seal on every fridge, remove things from shelves to clean out. They would check every night meticulously to ensure the kitchen was 100% clean before we can leave. They of course, paid us extra and we received a portion of the tips. I was pleasantly surprise the amount of time and detail they would undergo. Pride in every detail was made known and it only helped the business.
If a restaurant has a theme to it and you walk inside to find that the inside doesnt even match said theme then that probably means they dont know how to run a restaurant.
"I have worked in diners..."
I have worked in diners for over half my life. Look at the condiments on the table people. If they are an unkempt mess, are grimy and look old then the kitchen is this way too. Nobody cares in this joint.
"The food may not be horrible..."
When they have a large menu with different cuisines. Like, if it's an Italian restaurant, it shouldnt be selling burritos. The food may not be horrible but if it's not focused, it ain't gonna be the best thing either.
"It's just been marinating..."
When you see servers walking around with the ticket presenter shoved in the back of their pants, just know that they've had that same ticket presenter since they started working there It has never, ever, been cleaned or washed in any way. It's just been marinating in ass sweat.
"For instance..."
Health inspection scores are really based on the individual inspector. They all have their personal "pet peeves" that they will flag and other things that they will ignore. They can be wildly inconsistent. For instance I had a health inspector for about 2 years who never gave me below a 98. She had a child and took some time off. The inspector taking her place came in and acted like my restaurant was a dump. Gave me a low score and even took two points off because he didn't think the lights in the kitchen were bright enough. I hadn't done anything differently.
Then I got another health inspector that was filling in and I told him that I got brighter bulbs to solve the light problem. He said "what?? You were docked points for the lights?? that's ridiculous!" Then he took points off because I was reusing pickle buckets to store dry goods in. I consistently kept my place very clean. Yet my score would vary depending on which inspector showed up. It was beyond aggravating.
"Investment in good staff..."
For me it is if the design of the restaurant looks really fancy and they invested massively in furniture and such. But the waiting staff has an average age of 19-20. For me it is a classic mistake that loads of restaurant make nowadays. Investment in good staff is way more valuable than looks. Even though a qualified and talented restaurant staff is hard to come by, in the Netherlands at least.
"Look for places..."
Big menu means it's highly likely the food is from the freezer. Look for places with a small(ish) menu and the food should be fresh.
"Don't ever go..."
Dont ever go to a restaurant that's about to close in 30 minutes. Many start cleaning and all the dust and cleaning solution is making its way around the food.
"It's literally all I handle..."
Sushi Chef here, please stop eating at seafood restaurants if you have a severe allergy to fish. It's literally all I handle all day and having to properly sanitize my station in the middle of the weekend rush is the last thing I wanna do.
"If you're not willing..."
If you go out for sushi, please stay away from sushi tracks. They are very sketchy and having sushi just sitting out to get warm is not good. Fish will always be expensive, if you're not willing to pay the extra few dollars for the good stuff, stay away from all types of raw fish.
"I generally stay away..."
Chef here...I generally stay away from meals that seem out of place or dont have some of the same ingredients as other dishes. Product for the not so popular items may not be as fresh. For example...tuna salad at a gas station deli. You know they're not selling enough of that for it to be fresh everyday.
"Only an idiot..."
Actual former chef here. These comments saying, "don't eat (whatever food) on a (day of week) because it's leftovers..." This is called utilization. Specials are just that. Things that we'd rather sell than throw out. Those of us who actually know what we're doing, carefully cool down and store things so they have as much menu life as possible. Only an idiot would throw away perfectly good, saleable food if it didn't sell on the first night.
"There's literally nothing..."
If you're gluten free, for whatever reason, please don't go to a "from scratch" Italian restaurant.
Please.
There's literally nothing we can do to get that crap out of anywhere. Thanks to the flour, it permeates the air.
"If there's a funky smell..."
If there's a funky smell that's even slightly (or stronger) urine like, the restaurant probably has a rodent problem. Best to leave.
"What cleaning jobs..."
Overworked staff. What cleaning jobs do you think are getting missed if staff are far too stretched and or unhappy at work?
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People Share The Funniest Thing They've Ever Seen That They Weren't Allowed To Laugh At
Hilarious moments are blind to timing. They seem to strike at the absolute worst times, when laughing would be completely inappropriate.
Thankfully, Crying Can Look Like Laughing
<p>"Great Uncle's funeral.</p><p>"The vicar was doing his thing, but when he said 'our soul,' in his posh-ish accent it sounds just like 'arsehole' and it got me. I managed to keep it together the first time, but after the second one I could barely hold it back...."</p><p>"It was something like, '<em>our soul is something we should cherish, it defines who we are...'</em>"</p><p>"I was stifling laughter to the point of tears, my mum said after she thought I was crying."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtmy9t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">F***TheseNewPlastics</a></p>One Man Show
<p>"A guy was acting as his own attorney. He was questioning himself in court by standing up, asking a question, then sitting down to answer it."</p><p>"The judge finally looked at him and said, 'Sit down, Mr. X.' I almost lost it, but managed to hold my court demeanor."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjttk7u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Hellabore</a></p>A Dick Manifesto
<p>"At my friend's grandfather's funeral. The first sentence of the pastor's speech was 'We are all here because we love Dick so much.' His name was Richard."</p><p>"This holy man gave a 15 minute speech about his love of Dick and how Dick changed his life. My wife and I did not make eye contact through the entire thing for fear of busting out laughing in a quiet crowded church."</p><p>"It took me about a year to ask my friend his thoughts about it and apparently he was close to losing it too."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtzut0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TigerGuitarist</a></p>Til the Very End
<p>"A friend of mine who was always late to work died after an epileptic fit. The undertakers and vicar got delayed and he was late to his own funeral and it was the most fitting and hilarious moment and he'd have loved it."</p><p>"But obviously you can't burst out laughing when the staff at a funeral tell you that he's not there yet."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtpoko?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Miraclefish</a></p>Corpse Slapped
<p>"I was in a cadaver lab for an anatomy class, and that week we were learning hip and upper leg muscles. My group were at the table and one of the guys proceeded to roll the cadaver leg over, from looking at the hamstring to study the quads."</p><p>"We didn't realise that the leg belonged to a male until its manhood slapped him straight on the back of his hand."</p><p>"Entire group was breathing super hard trying not to laugh and appear disrespectful in the eyes of the tutors, but I honestly reckon the guy would've been laughing with us."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjttrul?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">code1520</a></p>Taking It in Stride
<p>"Paramedic here, watched a drunk falling down a bunch of stairs."</p><p>"He then just screamed at his friend to get him a new beer because he dropped his. Nearly pissed myself."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtn6y8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sir_f***_off</a></p>She Knows Not What She Doesn't Know
<p>"Just two nights ago my picky daughter was telling us that she didn't like meat loaf, no way, no how."</p><p>"Then she described a Japanese hamburger steak that she wanted to make: hamburger, bread crumbs, egg, ketchup, soy sauce, etc."</p><p>"When she was done, I said that she described the exact thing sitting on her plate, and she got really mad. Laughing only made her madder. Couldn't stop laughing though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtqbvz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GooberMcNutly</a></p>Nothing Else to Say
<p>"I was watching hunger games in theaters and the Rue death scene caused a reaction from the person behind me that left me laughing so hard I thought the people who didn't hear her would think I was a horrible person."</p><p>"Right when the spear hits her I heard this 'O DAMN' from behind me like the most stereotypical dumb reaction gif sound effect of a dude getting kicked in the nads."</p><p>"It clashed with the scene so much and was the only time the person ever spoke it just cracked me up"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtsk7v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nightbrother42</a></p>Committed Revenge
<p>"Helping a Grade 2 class (~8 year olds) and one of the kids was just so loud. He was running around the class when one of the girls held out her arm and clotheslined him."</p><p>"I was able to keep a straight face for that but she kneeled down and yelled, 'Boom!' at him."</p><p>"He started crying, they both got a detention, and I almost bit through my tongue."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtq3xu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">asolitarycandle</a></p>Growing Into It
<p>"My step Dad was an Italian from Manhattan. He had the classic Italian mobster accent. We all live in Minnesota, born and raised. So his accent was definitely different from what we're used to."</p><p>"My brother loved to playfully make fun of him by imitating him by saying classic Italian mobster exclamations along with the hand mannerisms. Stepdad was a laid back guy and found it funny and the banter between those two was very light hearted."</p><p>"So, one day, we were having a small get together at our house with my mom, stepdad, my brother and a few friends. We were all hanging out outside when my 4 year old daughter excited started saying 'Uncle Pauly, Uncle Pauly! Watch this!'"</p><p>"As everyone watched, she went over to a piece of dog poop, pointed at it by shaking her open palmed hands, and exclaimed in the most perfect Italian Mobster accent 'What the f*** is thiiiis?!' She even did the head bob perfectly."</p><p>"We all stifled laughter."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtpug3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Spookyredd</a></p>Working with dogs is a field like few others. Though a job at a veterinary clinic, animal shelter, or training class may have its moments of tragedy and frustration, the unique hilarity that dogs bring is a real treat.
Quite the Bone
<p>"A client of mine has a Doberman girl that once got stuck in a doorway because she was carrying a long bone and couldn't figure out on her own how to proceed."</p><p>"Ever since that incident, this dog won't walk through any door no matter how wide as long as she's got anything in her muzzle, be it a bone or a tiny little cracker."</p><p>"She is sweet, but really dull."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9pntj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kleene_Dilljurke</a></p>Unobservant and Phobic
<p>"I work with dogs professionally but the dumbest one I ever met was one of mine. He was a very large Great Dane who somehow developed a fear of hardwood floors."</p><p>"The worst part is he would walk through a hallway or room without realizing it was hardwood, and then as soon as he realized it he would sit himself down and refuse to move anywhere."</p><p>"I miss the idiot"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj962la?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Galacticheartofgold</a></p>Give Them an Inch...
<p>"I volunteered for an organisation training guide dogs for blind people. One of the dogs graduated training and was assigned to a blind young lady. It costs €40,000 to get the dog trained to this point. Dog successfully guides her to work every day safely with no problems."</p><p>"Then it's pissing rain one day so her dad asks her to collect her and the dog and drop them to the office. The next day the dog just refuses to work and literally never worked a day again for her."</p><p>"I think it just didn't see the point when she could get in the car if she wanted!! "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9qnn3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">whatever_the_f***_</a></p>Bruce the Golden Sniffer
<p>"Bruce. A big old bloodhound who, on multiple occasions, would stick his nose right under other dogs while they peed." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9p4wr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavidWestSideStory<br></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My dog is so submissive that he let a bigger, meaner dog pee all over him while he grinned. If he could talk he would've said, 'Look mom! I made a friend!'" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gjan5zi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NeedsMoreTuba</a></p>Trouble With the Back Half
<p>"My boyfriend walks a large Dalmatian who is the most uncoordinated dog I've ever seen. He just can't jump. Has no sense of what his back legs are doing."</p><p>"When my boyfriend comes to pick him up he tries to get into the van by jumping normally with his front legs but fails to follow through with the back, so just stands excitedly leaning on the floor of the van, doing frantic tippy-taps with his back feet on the ground outside."</p><p>"And he's a big dog, he could step right in without even jumping."</p><p>"No amount of showing him by actually moving his limbs has made it click for him, so he does his partial jump then one of us hoists his butt end in too."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9zw9h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Semele5183</a></p>Howling at Herself
<p>"Used to volunteer at a Human Society and I remember this one dog who was terrified of shadows."</p><p>"The kicker? This was an akita/husky mix so every time she saw a shadow she would howl loudly till the shadow went away."</p><p>"Last I knew she got adopted by a farmer and was happily chasing cows."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9pf8c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaYaADisi1</a></p>A Paradoxical Reaction
<p>"I used to work at a shelter, so I guess this counts. One of our dogs had excitement-induced narcolepsy (called cataplexy). So, he'd fall asleep whenever he was too happy. Playing with other dog? Fall asleep. It snowed? Fall asleep. Get people food? Fall asleep."</p><p>"We adopted him."</p><p>"In a home, we figured out he was afraid of doorways. This doof would turn around and walk backwards through doorways instead because that was less scary."</p><p>"He was also no fan of hardwood floors or ceiling fans. Solid 50lb of staffy, biggest coward ever."</p><p>"He was the best dog."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9vdtw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">foolhardywaffle</a></p>Crossing Wires
<p>"Was walking a golden lab and this poor dog smelled something interesting. Decided to pee on it and lifted his leg."</p><p>"Mid pee decided to smell it again and ended up peeing on his own face. Dog was something else."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9qcew?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ARKITIZE_ME_CAPTAIN</a></p>A Quick and Relentless Wagging
<p>"My mom's pit/lab mix is dumb. He has a crazy long tail and it wags at like 35 mph."</p><p>"The other day he was wagging his tail and it was smacking the edge of the fridge. It hurt, he whined. Instead of moving or holding his tail still he just stood there whacking it against the fridge and whining."</p><p>"I finally moved him away from the fridge and he sat and licked it for a while. He's a good boi, but he ain't bright."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gj9jf81?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">J_DayDay</a></p>Baby Steps
<p>"My sister's dog was dumb. One day I decided to teach it to sit on command, the way I had taught a couple of other dogs. So, every time I brought him in from the backyard I'd get a treat from on top of the refrigerator and go through training."</p><p>"It took much longer than I thought it would, but eventually the dog would sit on command."</p><p>"Then I discovered it only knew what 'sit' meant when he was facing the refrigerator. So, more training, Every time I brought him in, I'd have him face a new direction until he made the connection and would sit on command."</p><p>"Then I discovered he only knew how to do it in the kitchen."</p><p>"A dumb, dumb dog."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kx9rll/people_who_work_with_dogs_professionally_who_was/gjamg6g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">suddenly_satire</a></p>People Break Down The Worst Examples Of A TV Show Dumping A Major Cast Member And Trying To Continue
We're all aware television shows are fake and, heck, even the ones pretending to be real have a certain level of fabrication permeating throughout. That's not why we watch, though, we watch because we want to be invested into believing in a show's characters and their journeys. So when a character is mysteriously removed from a show with zero explanation it can leave a bad taste in our mouths that never goes away.
Not Gone, Just Reborn
<p>Top Gear</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmtbm7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SleazyP_317</a></p><p>Came here to say this. Top Geat BBC is nothing w/o Jezza, Crash and Mr. Slowly.</p><p>I watched a few episodes of the reboot and its a total joke.</p><p>On the other hand i bought amazon prime because of Grand Tour.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn0amm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">InfraredDiarrhea</a></p>No More Troy & Abed In The Morning
<p>Community</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmpsib?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DystopianTruth</a></p><p>It definitely lost some of its charm without Troy, but Hickey, Elroy, and Frankie were decent. It was still a good show without Troy, just not as good.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmxss8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">emueller5251</a></p>Fired For Good Cause
<p>Criminal Minds comes to mind for me. Thomas Gibson definitely deserved to be fired, but once he was gone the show felt completely different. They should have stopped there instead of trying another season.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmmzxg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">PaladiinDM<br></a></p><p>To be fair, they pulled it off once before, when Mandy Patinkin left. Hotch was very much the solid center of the group, after that though, and they never really found someone to fill that role. I love Prentiss, but she doesn't fill that void, and Rossi wouldn't really do either. They would need to find someone that had chemistry with the other characters but still had the darkness that Hotch brought.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn2yso?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Irishpanda1971</a></p>How Does Your Family Work?
<p>Dukes of Hazzard for one season tried to replace Bo and Luke with two other Duke cousins.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmvpsh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">heelspider</a></p><p>The Coy and Vance situation made the whole Duke family tree even more suspicious. Bo, Luke, Daisy, Coy and Vance all called each other cousin, and called Jesse "uncle". None of them were siblings. Were these all just random children that Jesse "found" and raised? Did Jesse have 5 siblings who each had a child that they were unwilling/unable to care for? Did they all leave their kids with Jesse because a moonshine runner was considered the most respectable? There probably aren't too many social workers in Hazard County, but someone really needs to look into this.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn0a18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">thalanos42</a></p>Yeeeeeah!
<p>CSI after Grissom left was never the same</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjnzt40?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">gk101991</a></p><p>I thought Liev Schreiber's short guest-stint standing in for William Petersen was good, but Grissom was kind of integral.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjotz3j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Reciprocity2209</a></p>A Magical Missing Sister! Of Course!
<p>So what always hit me as funny was in the TV Show Charmed.</p><p>Basically the entire concept was about three sisters being the chosen triad that together could do amazing magic.</p><p>After a couple seasons all three of them were on the floor "Dying" and it cut off.</p><p>Next season apparently two of the sisters had been saved, the but the last one had died off screen and the entire thing was skipped over. "You saved me, X saved Y, but that left Z to die!"</p><p>But how can a show that's entirely about the power of three sisters being the chosen ones continue with one of them gone? Easy, they find a long lost sister and activate her magic!</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjnpe9b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ericbomb</a></p>Steve?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwNjI5NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDQ4MzYzOH0.REXjY78pt4sWn-5qE7H59G_cUJUX9DrTJz0Zx1qzNV8/img.gif?width=980" id="46946" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="028c340e3ef77df21e78dbbd493921e8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="362" />confused homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Blues Clues</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn5dl1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SonicFanBOI0655</a></p><p>As a child I remember being very confused and not realizing right away it was a different person.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjncf6a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">CardWitch</a></p>I Want To Believe
<p>The X-Files after David Duchovny left.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmutr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">KungFu-omega-warrior</a></p><p>Something was missing when Mulder was gone. Scully and Mulder dealing with the monster of the week type episodes were the best.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn2b0h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">adumberscully</a></p>It's A Teaching Hospital...Get It?
<p>Scrubs final season was so bad that even Dr Cox couldn't save it.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmuvku?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">TheGodDamnLobo</a></p><p>It was meant to be a spinof series but wasn't allowed to be branded as such.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjn5df9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Shirley_Schmidthoe</a></p>We ALL Hate Randy
<p>That '70s Show</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmso47?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">dottmatrix</a></p><p>We all hate Randy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmvc4h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">BelichickRockneGOATS</a></p><p>Randy embodies everything people hate about late series main cast replacements. He's a buff pretty boy, unlike Eric, but is still marketed as being a sensitive, nerdy guy, which is what made up a big part of Eric's appeal. He bonds with Red like Eric never could, he immediately takes Eric's place as Donna's love interest and is shunted into the main group without pretense and with little defined character. He's basically Poochie, from the Simpsons, but unironically.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjnus5r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AReluctantEssayist</a></p>Perhaps The Biggest Of All
<p>The Office comes to mind, though I enjoy the later seasons too.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjms8wv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">FievelWentWest</a></p><p>This is the one for me. I'm fine with folks enjoying the last few seasons (and I guarantee there's post-Carrell episodes I enjoy as well) but by and large, it lost a lot of its magic without him. That said, I imagine some key writers departing were also responsible for the tonal shift (where some characters turned into the cartoon versions of themselves while others were seemingly reinvented on the fly).</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjncumm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">rake2204</a></p>Yeesh...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwNTY3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTMwNjYzNX0.s1tW_kEDJV64A1lU1gf94wpoDz7SUUgCNrE9Szbo71g/img.gif?width=980" id="0c390" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="46c41116ca2fcc11d28d18d9bb333548" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240" />nervous the simpsons GIFGiphy<p>John Ritter, from 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter.</p><p>The main character died in the beginning of the second season*. It's a family sit-com, but I remember liking it. And it was starting to build a bit of a following when it happened.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjmvns7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ConneryFTW</a></p><p>John Ritter. Died from aortic dissection. So sad.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbj5p/whats_the_most_egregious_example_of_a_tv_show/gjndilh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">werdzishard</a></p>Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay |
There's something quite wonderful about finding a loophole and taking advantage of it... especially when you're broke. (Trust me, it could mean the difference between surviving and well, not.)
When I was really poor, for example, I used to go to a Burger King to get cheap burgers with what little money I had. The food was filling and helped tide me over. I eventually found a glitch on the app that allowed me to add two extra burgers to my order. Trust me, it saved me on my worst days. (As you can imagine, I am really sick of fast food now that I'm much more financially stable.)
After Redditor Thym3Travr asked the online community, "What loophole did you exploit mercilessly?" people shared their stories.