Generally, you want the best both for you and the people you love. And sometimes, doing what's best is the hardest thing in the universe.
u/WhiteSox1415 asked:
What's the hardest thing you ever had to say to someone?
Here were those answers:
Quality Of Life
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I told my grandfather that the surgery he was scheduled to have in less than two hours, which was necessary to save his life, was going to leave him unable to take anything by mouth ever again- even water; and leave him hooked to an IV pretty much permanently. Being a fiercely independent person, he of course refused to move forward with the surgery (which he had previously agreed to, not knowing this). Then I had to inform my family that I had told him the truth, against their wishes, and that he had decided against the surgery.
It was the worst day of my life. I did what was right, even though it meant he would leave us within weeks, and I don't regret it, but ...damn. I still cry when I think about it.
True Loyalty
Not me but I had to watch my step-sister tell my step-mom that my dad was sending her very inappropriate text messages. I watched a daughter completely destroy her mother's world and have to still be there for her daughter.
A few days later my step-mom seemed to have blocked the whole thing out and essentially pick my dad over her daughter. That's when I realized I hate them. Even worse, I was the one who told her to rat on him.
Momentary Loss For Long Term Gain
Created an account just to post, long time listener first time caller.
I was asked to co-coach a competitive traveling baseball team of 10 year old boys (my son included). We had a try-out and would have to cut about 7 boys. I saw right away that my son would not be on the team unless I was the coach. We had 2 days of try-outs and after the first day my son gets in the truck and tells me that it was the most fun he has ever had playing baseball and he can't wait to spend the summer hanging out with his friends and me.
I had to tell my son right then and there, with all the hope and excitement in his eyes that he was not good enough to play on the team. It was the right thing to do but that didn't make me or him feel any better. Cutting your own kid from the team you are supposed to coach makes you feel like a d!ck head. I resigned as coach and spent that summer practicing (his request) every day after work. The next year he made the team, was selected as an All-Star of the league and led his team in batting. I'll never forget that day in my truck as long as I live. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Being Comfortable With Silence
Had to tell a friend she talks too much.
She's genuinely a good person so it hurt but she literally can't have silence at any time.
We can't just sit and enjoy something, she has to be talking. The minute someone has silence longer than a second she's talking about her job or what her mom had for lunch.
It's a constant stream of consciousness that never ends.
A movie? She's talking about what just happened on screen like she's the narrator.
Friend comes over who I haven't seen in years? She was talking over our whole greeting.
It's time to go? She doesn't get the hint and just...keeps...talking.
She asked me why people seem to only hang out with her once and then stop...why her bf was distant.
So I told her it's probably the amount she speaks. I asked her why she feels that it's weird to have silence.
She just said it made her feel uneasy when people weren't talking.
I told her it's worse to talk when you don't have anything to contribute to the conversation, and it's okay to have silence every once in awhile.
She's gotten better and thanked me because no one else had the heart to tell her
Never Easier
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In the course of my job (police) - I have had to deliver more death messages that I could count. It never gets any easier....
The worst was a elderly women who had died overnight. From the moment I arrived at the address the phone was constantly ringing....after an hour I had to answer (even though procedure is not too) as it obviously a loved one trying to get in contact.
I had to break the news over the phone to her daughter that she had died. She was hundreds of miles away....it was heartbreaking. She broke down and was sobbing. I told her I was with her Mum and would look after her. I told her to call me back when she was ready.
Her daughter (the granddaughter) called me back about 30 mins later. I explained what would happen and that they could contact me at anytime.
I understand they came into the station a few days later. I wasn't on duty so missed them. I wish I could have met them to pass condolences and just explain that I found her peacefully.
As all jobs - you get up's and down's. This was a down 😕
Truly For The Best
A friend and I were going through divorces at the exact same time. Both of our divorces were hard and rough, but hers was a bit uglier, and it came out that her ex-husband was cheating on her and was flaunting his new girlfriend all over the place.
After a couple of months of listening to my friend go mental over the new girl, how her ex was scum, how he was manipulating her kids, and how she knew all of this because she was facebook stalking the new girlfriend.
I had to have a long, sit down talk with her and get her to realize that facebook stalking her ex & his new squeeze was really - really - REALLY not healthy and not helping her heal from the whole divorce.
Apparently I was the only one who ever told her to just f*cking stop it.
No Way To Communicate
Trying to tell my taxi driver in Korea where to go. He spoke 0 English while I speak 0 Korean. 10 minutes of trying to show him maps on my phone and attempting to use Google translate until I found someone on the street who could translate.
I have had some horrible emotional conversations, but this takes the cake for most difficult as I literally could not say what I needed to for him to understand.
Fifty-Seventy Years
I had to call my fiancee a week before our wedding that I had cancer.
Good news, happily married for four and a half years and about to make my five year cancer-free mark next May.
Sometime mid February 2014: Go into some clinic because of a bronchitis flareup
March 1st 2014: Go back to small clinic because I could tell I had pneumonia from wheezing. Got a chest xray to confirm and there was a large mass at the top of my right lung. Plot twist: I DID have pneumonia as well. I went to two specialists same day and reached a rough diagnosis of advanced Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I called my fiancee and told her the blunt truth and she told me to come home. I arrived and she grabbed me by the shirt and told me, "we're getting married, so I'm getting you for at LEAST 50 more years. Preferably 70."
March 8th 2014: We got hitched and went on honeymoon
April Fool's day: offical diagnosis of Stage 3B Hodgkin's lymphoma
First treatment hit sometime in the last week of that April after testing and getting a port installed. So roughly beginning of May is what I consider the anniversary.
Which Is Easier
Telling my ex girlfriend it was okay if we broke up and we could still be best friends even though I'm still just as in love with her as I always was and she's the one who says she just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now.
She said she didn't want anything to change between us and she still thinks of me as her soul mate, but it definitely doesn't feel the same. My heart breaks again every day and every conversation leaves me feeling depressed and lost.
Clean break ups where you end up hating the other person are so much easier.
Still Hard
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This probably isn't as "bad" as everybody elses:
I had to tell my step-father that he is a complete *sshole once.
It was like 15 years ago, we didn't get on back then. In short, I was a lazy teen and he was a guy who worked everyday of his life since he was like 12 years old. He would often come back from evenings out drinking, tanked up, and start waffling on about how he wasn't my real dad, and all that sh*t, when at the end of the day, I really did not care - I wasn't expecting him to be my father, I just wanted him to take care of my mother. That and I do see my real dad, who at the time, would say "ah don't listen to that asshole etc" so being a teen I essentially doubled down on being a bit of a dick in retaliation at times.
We had a huge blowout one night, and I lost my sh*t over another (read: 30th) night in being told something about him not being my real dad because he was drunk. We had some words, and I flat out told him I didn't like him on a personal level, and that he was a major *sshole. He didn't take it very well at the time, and it killed me because I knew that my mum had heard everything and was probably very upset about it.
In hindsight, it cleared the air and put all the cards on the table between us both. I later moved out got a full time job, and since then have married/have my own kid, so can see where he was coming from at times. (I mean he was an *sshole, even he admits that, but I openly hold my hands up for being a lazy grumpy teenager who gave him a hard time as well). He did some self reflecting as well; he quit smoking and drinking, and found religion (it's not for me, but it's done him wonders I think). He's like the nicest guy in the world and we've both spoken about the above and apologised to each other.
We now get on really really well, and while I do speak to my biological father, my step dad kept me on the straight/narrow the entire time since I met him, so despite him being a d!ck, it was all in a "tough love" sort of way, which I now appreciate.
We've both also spoken with my mother about it, and she's very happy now we get on so well also.
So it ends well, but it was a tough time at one point.
The Worst Kind Of News
I had to call my girlfriend's parents who were on a cross-country trip to tell them I was at the vet's putting their dog down.
We were not on good terms before then.
Then I had to lie to my girlfriend when she called to see how her childhood dog was doing. She's a nurse and had just started her new job working overnights.
That was a rough night.
We got married eventually though.
Once A Cheater
Had to tell my 16year old pregnant friend while we were in high school that the guy she was having a baby with, was trying to get me to come over in the middle of night and sleep with him.
Not as sad as some of these,but definitely tough. Would not have even been as bad if she wasnt pregnant.
But we were so young, she was pregnant, and it was my bestfriend so it just made me really sad for her.
That's the worst thing I can think of ATM.
Dunno What To Do With You
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Was a McDonald's manager.
Had this 14 year old girl who was a hard worker and really enjoyed what she did.
But she was so bad at her job. She couldn't do anything right and the hours I spent training her didn't seem to help.
Giving her 6 month performance review that was all 1/5 (except effort) and giving her a $0.05/hr raise was the hardest thing I did in my 6 years there.
Grief: The Price We Pay For Love
For me probably telling my family that I didn't want to go see my grandma get taken off of life support. They asked me multiple times if I was sure, and out of the probably around 20 or so people there I was probably 1 out of 4 people that didn't go back. I hung out back in one of those side rooms where half the people had been staying. I just couldn't handle it. I had been in the hospital the entire previous day as soon as we could make it in, and we stayed as late as we could that night, and then came back the next day before she was eventually taken off of it. But I just couldn't be in there. It was quick at least. Less than a minute after they turned everything off she was gone. As much as I would have wanted to see her one last time, I just couldn't have that be my last memory.
Very close second: Telling my boyfriend one night just how much I f*cking miss my grandpa from my mom's side (passed away 5 years ago) and my grandma from my dad's side (passed away two years ago). I had always tried to be strong for everyone else cause we were just all in this fog after my grandpa, and right when we were coming out of it my grandma passed away. Finally just broke down sobbing after watching a movie together on my birthday, and I barely choked out that I missed them so much and I was tired of pretending like I was okay with it because I always have them in the back of my mind and I have a hard time moving on because small things remind me of them. Like knowing my grandpa carries her picture everywhere he goes and pulls it out for her to see what's going on and so he can give her a kiss. Or going to get ice cream reminds me of the morning when we found out my grandpa had finally passed away that night after months of battling cancer, and my brother drove my sister and I to get ice cream. And knowing that if my grandma was still alive for my past birthday, she would have dragged me to Las Vegas to go gambling cause that was her thing for each granddaughter's 21st birthday. And as much as I don't like gambling or drinking, I would have done it for her.
This Is Why We Need Better Immigration Policies
I had to tell my all-star totally rocking employee who we were grooming to enter management that he was fired effectively immediately, within a week of him having a new baby. I also had to simultaneously break the news to him that my company's lawyers had determined that he had no legal right to be in or work in this country, which he himself wasn't aware of, and which is why he was now fired.
To be fair, the guy had a complex immigration situation, and had tried to deal with all the paperwork himself rather than hire a lawyer, which led to him messing up spectacularly and not realizing it.
Happy Ending
I had to tell my conservative republican parents that I'm transgender. I wrote them both a letter. I was sweating bullets the entire time they were reading it.
Turns out it wasnt such a big deal. They were 100% accepting and supportive, but for a few minutes I was just imagining being completely abandoned and homeless because of it, based on the horror stories I read about from other "coming out" stories online.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.