People Share The Best Ways To Politely Say 'F*** You'

People Share The Best Ways To Politely Say 'F*** You'
Moose Photos / Pexels

Now that so many of us are working from home, stressed, and scared - the need to tell someone to f*ck off but in a nice way is greater than ever.

The person you're in isolation with who is a 6AM noise-machine? Yup. Co-worker who has a bad habit of asking "one last question" 13 times in every meeting? Yup. Neighbor running a pressure washer hooked to an insanely loud generator for 8 days straight, 14 hours a day? Oh good lord yup.


So one Reddit user wanted to know:

How do you say "f*ck you" politely?

We are going to put these into effect immediately, because we have some serious "per my previous email" energy going on towards certain people right now (looking at you, neighbor with the pressure washer) and we really need to get it off our chest.

The Ultimate "Apology"

Giphy

You can up the ante with "I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way" like you aren't even sorry they feel that way, you're just sorry that you have to hear about it.

- tim_ninethousand

"This is what I say when I just really want someone to hate me."

- Six_spoked_wheel

*Kill Bill sirens*

- brainwithamouth

Not My Problem

I must that admit that although I never found the balls or the situation to actually say that to someone I keep "That sounds like a you problem" as a mantra in my mind at times.

- One_Lazy_Duck

I hate "that sounds like a you problem."

Well no crap Sherlock, you're making MY life miserable, not yours.

- Jillandherhills

Backhanded

"I admire you. You don't let your shortcomings get in the way of your confidence."

- FalstaffsMind

Honestly, I thought this was a compliment at first. This is a backhand compliment beyond compare.

- Skelehoes

So backhanded it was a roundhouse kick.

- Drawkbox

Per

"Per my last email..."

- JibberJabber777

I always read that as "B*tch, can you read?"

- brbgottapoop

You Deserve It

One of my bosses likes to say "I hope you have the day you deserve" to rude or sh*tty people.

- pleasesurpriseme

I was involved in a near-miss at work because this woman was using her phone while she was driving. She walked into the Control Room and said "One of your security guards nearly hit me, tell him I'm sorry" and then made a big thing of mentioning it every time I saw her.

"Oh, I think you're the guy I pulled out in front of, I had a momentary lapse of concentration..."

So when she was leaving and everyone signed her card, I wrote "I hope your new job is everything you deserve!"

- RyanTrinder1995

The Christian Version

Giphy

I love the Christian version of this. "I'll pray for you"

- TheSupremeGrape

God, I think i'd feel more respected if someone dissed my mom for 15 minutes straight then if a "christian" said that sh*t to me.

- teerplatz

Input

"Thank you for your input."

- enym

Funny story- I was the only woman at an assessment centre out of 10 candidates. There were multiple centres on different days and there were 20 positions available. Roughly 380 candidates at assessment overall.

In our group exercise you could almost feel the testosterone coming from these banker-type guys. For 20 minutes of this 45 minute exercise two of them just would not shut up and let anyone get a word in edgeways... anyway we finally get on to the task and it's the whole 'you all have 1 project, defend your project and why it should be funded' and we all agree mine is the most beneficial for this imaginary community. These two guys start to try and debate it again at which point (don't know what possessed me) I come out with the words "Thank you for your continued input gentlemen. If nobody has any relevant points I suggest we conclude now".

I got the job. Those two twats did not

- shadow_chick95

They Say

"With all due respect, you are as they all say you are."

This line is bound to f*ck anyone up.

- a1001ku

Oooof, I feel that!! That would ruin somebody!!

- SamTheStud

Oh, this is cruel. I like it.

- funkaria

Biblical

If you want to get Biblical, "know thyself."

- AdmiralAkbar1

This one is creative. It's the only one I haven't seen the last few times this was posted. I like it.

- Noobdefeater

Source: Southern

"Oh bless your HEART!"

Source: Southern

Normally used as "bless her/his heart" when totally not talking sh!t about others but a direct "bless your heart" can be extremely effective too if you nail the sickening sing song sweet tone.

- totallycalledla-a

Governor Asa Hutchinson said this to my mom like two years ago. She's still mad about it.

- SashaWoodson

Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or ":zipper_mouth_face:" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.

Most of us have had a few jobs in our lives, and we've learned to be on our best behavior during the job interview.

But sometimes even when we're doing our best, we might make a mistake, like blanking on the answer to a question or spilling coffee on our pants.

There are other people out there, however, with far stranger stories.

Keep reading...Show less

It's so easy for us to get caught up in the negative things in our day-to-day lives, whether it's a bad day at work or an ended relationship, but it's important to remember what else we have going for it.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to listen to the people we look up to, and let their words help us move through the tough time.

Keep reading...Show less
IT workers
Christina @ wocintechchat.com/Unsplash

Few people earn a living doing what they love.

That's why those in the workforce call showing up for work "the grind"–which implies labor-intensive tasks for long periods of time.

However, there are situations in which employees love their jobs and don't even call their labor of love "work."

They just happen to earn money doing what they love. Who are these people? Where are these jobs?

Keep reading...Show less
Wikipedia page
Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash

Every now and then, who hasn't found themselves falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole?

Even if the sources of information found on the page are dubious.

This doesn't stop people from using it as a quick source of information when necessary.

And with links to other pages readily available, people often find themselves learning information which was a far cry from their initial search.

Gaining information that these same people would no doubt be much better off having never learned.

Keep reading...Show less