Are you the type to take other people's advice or do you need to learn things first-hand?
Personally, we've had some people deliver some pretty beautifully Iroh-level good advice... and we have kicked ourselves immensely for not taking it. The best advice we've ever gotten is to take the advice we ask for.
One Reddit user asked:
We don't know if these people took any of this advice, but yeah, this is all pretty good stuff.
A You Problem
My older brother once told me this (after I had vented about another failing relationship): If you have a problem in your relationship and you haven't told your partner ....it's a YOU problem.
It really forced me to work on communicating better (and also knowing when to call time) in general.
I don't understand why people have such a difficult time telling their partners when something is wrong. Does it feel better to snap at them and bite their head off?
"Only take advice from people who have what you want."
Helped me find actual mentors, and got me reading things that would actually help me.
Great advice. When people learn I've been successful financially they either want to tell me about their business idea or ask me how I did it and how they can too. Almost universally they don't actually listen to me. They're too excited to talk about themselves and their big plans. I'm very willing to give people advice, but in 2 or 3 years I've yet to meet someone who actually listens.
These days, in real life, I do everything I can to suggest I'm not wealthy so people don't pitch me their shitty business ideas then ignore me when I offer feedback.
I'm a tax accountant. My family asked me about tax deductions. I told them their personal expenses aren't deductible. They tried to negotiate with me.
You asked. I told you the law. Stop trying to convince me. I don't care what you put on your taxes.
One of my cousins asked me about this guy who has a multi-step plan to become wealthy. I've seen tax returns of people with similar occupation titles and their taxes do not reflect what is on their website as proof of their success. So I told her he's a scammer and was indicted for fraud.
"But what kind of fraud? Because if it wasn't for mortgage fraud..."
Does it really matter what kind of fraud? And if you didn't really want my opinion, why did you ask?
"The money you save buying bad food will later be spent on hospital bills"
-Serbian dude in a grocery store when my family first came to America
Ah yes, America. The place that combines extremely unhealthy cheap food with extremely expensive health care.
"Unprocessed, healthy, fresh food, with no preservatives" often equates to "spoils quickly, needs time to cook, can even be expensive depending on where you live."
For middle to upper class that's doable, but when you're overworked and living paycheck to paycheck, you buy cheap, long-lasting stuff that requires minimal prep.
Act broke to stay rich
My wife and I do ok for ourselves.
We live in a nice neighborhood, and our neighbors drive fancy cars and seem really wealthy. Then when we talk to them more, we find out they have no savings.
Money talks, wealth whispers.
And that's their secret. They're millionaires because they don't spend frivolously.
Better Than A Zero
As a perfectionist, who also procrastinates (yes I know) it's really difficult for me to do an assignment if I know I won't be doing it perfectly or on my exact terms.
Due to the corner I back myself in to most times, I don't always have the time to submit the work that I feel reflects my true potential and I get so overwhelmed that I don't want to do it at all.
I had someone tell me it's better to get a decent grade like an 8/10 rather than submit nothing and get zero if that makes sense. Get the credit and make the best with the time you have left otherwise you'll regret that zero just because you wanted a 10.
Idk if anyone else has this particular struggle or needs to hear this but yeah it's helped me anytime I've felt like giving up.
I know this advice as "don't let perfect get in the way of good". It means work on producing a good, finished artefact rather than chasing unrealistic goals of perfection.
From my professor in college about a final in an email:
"Students, I will not wish you good luck on this test. Luck is wished on those who believe they will do bad. Instead, I wish you the best on finding time to study for this exam, guaranteeing you a passing grade."
Reminds me of a professor who explained on the first day that his class is structured to be "easy to pass, easy to fail, and hard to get an A in." So much of life is like that-if all you want is to not fail, just show up and do the basics. If you want to excel it gets much more difficult. I know it's not advice in the traditional sense but I think about it a lot.
"Yer born into a world that ya didn't ask for, suffer for decades, and then ya die. Cuz everyone dies to make room for the new gen. Dun't matter if yer rich or poor or lucky or unlucky, cuz everyone is suffering in their own way. So be nice to em, because it'll make em suffer a little less, and you'll feel better too. Being nice is all you can do, and it does a lot."
-my dad roughly 20 years ago
I honestly never received such brutally honest advice that actually helped me become a better person.
Nobody Knows What They're Doing
No one really knows what they're doing in their job. The closer you get to the roles at the top, the more you'll see that everyone is still making their best guess.
Instead of worrying about making the right call 100% of the time, and procrastinating on decisions, get better at failing but moving forward from it.
There are friendships and there are friend"shifts."
Most people you'll get to know during your life will be friend"shifts," just a few will be friendships. That doesn't mean the relationships that end don't have meaning, though be prepared that a deep one, even most deep ones will eventually fade, and that's ok.
It may sound like a downer, but it has helped me to not get so devastated when I realize someone I care about isn't part of my life anymore.
You Don't Have To Be Stupid
You don't have to be stupid to do dumb things.
We all screw up from time to time, but that's not a reflection on your intellect. Be an adult about it, acknowledge your error as necessary, correct it, learn from it. If you're worried about people judging you for screwing up, they're probably paying a lot less attention to you than you think, and chances are they either didn't notice or didn't care.
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Being street smart and book smart are two different forms of intelligence.
One acquires wisdom through life experiences while the other gains knowledge through reading books, articles, and from higher learning.
But sometimes there are certain situations where neither applies to a person–even though others may initially perceive them to be intelligent.
Curious to explore this further, Redditor Indianfattie asked:
'What is incorrectly perceived as a sign of intelligence?"
Status and credentials aren't necessarily strong indicators of intelligence.
"Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver! I am so rich. Therefore I am smart! S-M-R-T smart!"
Money And Brains
"People seem to think if you are rich with a good job you must be smart. Generally speaking I've only met one rich person I would consider smart. The rest? Ooooooof. I seriously wonder how some of them passed gradeschool."
"I was surprised when I learned that knowledge isn't necessarily correlated to intelligence. I met a lifelong academic who knew damn near everything about her topic .... but just the facts. It's like, she was a walking encyclopedia, could cough up any info about her field, but she couldn't really process it that well, or draw conclusions, or apply it to a different topic. It's hard to explain. She had a nice 2TB SSD drive full of info in her head but she had a substandard CPU. Since then I've met several people like that. All academics, but I'm not sure that has anything to do with it."
Certain behaviors and personality traits can be misleading.
The Quiet Observer
"Silence. I’ve been told so many times that I’m thoughtful and a deep thinker but really I can’t figure out what to say lol"
The Saying Goes
"There's a very good saying about that, I may be paraphrasing but I've always heard it as: a wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something."
Way With Words
"A cromulent vocabulary."
"This embiggens me."
Judging By Appearance
"I’m living in China right now and everyone keeps calling me intelligent as I’m bald and left handed."
History has proven leaders don't always make the best decisions.
"Being in charge."
Capable Until Proven Incompetent
"Always maintain a healthy skepticism for anyone claiming to be authority, at least till they prove themselves capable."
Save The Compliments
"if someone’s in an authoritative position, it should be others that praise them and say how good they are, not themselves."
The Peter Principle
'The Peter principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter, which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to "a level of respective incompetence." Employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another.'
"I once worked for a company where the VP was the living embodiment of the Peter principle. She had been with the company for 20+ years, and somehow got promoted to VP of marketing."
"She very clearly had no idea what she was doing and as a result would end up micromanaging to stay busy. And she loved to come around at 4:30 on the Friday before a holiday weekend to 'say hi,' aka make sure no one was leaving early (we were all salaried)."
"This woman was completely incompetent, had no business managing anyone and didn't understand her duties at all, yet somehow she was an executive and made close to $200K per year. Just by outlasting everyone else."
A person with a big vocabulary can be deceiving.
I knew someone from work who boasted a huge vocabulary and always sounded like an academic scholar when he spoke at meetings.
My view of him completely shattered when he came in for his shift one morning and seriously asked where he could get some "expresso," "expecially" since he was very tired and could use a pick-me-up.
My colleagues and I just blankly stared at each other since his statements at the time were so jarring.
In the US, teenagers technically become adults at 18, an age when they are presumably able to make decisions for themselves and establish independence.
But some teenagers feel they've emotionally and mentally reached maturity before being of legal age, and for some, long after.
Maybe it was a life-changing event or some kind of turning point that make these young adults feel like they are wise beyond their years.
Curious to explore anecdotes relating to coming of age, Redditor brokenbeanie asked:
"When is the first time you remember feeling like an adult?"
These Redditors experienced an epiphany when they realized trips to the grocery store was routine.
"When I got mad that they rearanged the grocery store."
"When I was buying my own groceries and had survived for two weeks on my own. I figured I must be doing it right since I wasn’t feeling hungry or diminished."
Raising A Pet
"It took me a few years. I had a cat for a year and that's when I was like 'holy sh*t I've somehow managed to keep us both alive for an entire year.' That's when I felt like an adult. That was mid to late 20s. I am also a late bloomer."
Accomplishments without the supervision of another adult were common indicators for people who felt grown-ish.
Learn As You Go
"My first summer in college, my roommate and I housesat for a couple who were out of town all summer. Paying rent and bills, buying groceries. We were both working, thank God, but we didn’t have a clue what we were doing. Lived on boiled eggs, raisin bran, bologna and cheese sandwiches, and ten cent ramen."
No Approval Necessary
"The first time I didn’t have to ask for permission to go out."
Tasked With Responsibility
"In college, I was with some friends at a party and one of them fell and busted his face so badly, he started bleeding badly. I went looking for someone to do something when I realized I was the only sober one there. Not a fun night or feeling."
Regarding making purchases, these Redditors realized they could afford luxuries previously not granted to them.
"Honestly, the first time I bought a car without mentioning it ahead of time to my parents. I was 27 or 28, married (no kids, though), and it was at that point that I realized 'I didn't really run this past anyone............hmm....' All of the college loans without a cosigner, my careers (firefighter/paramedic and nurse),my marriage, vacations... Etc...All the stuff I did as an adult and it took a $32,000 purchase to really feel like an adult"
Answer To No One
"I wanted to buy a box of fruit roll-ups. But was feeling weird about it because as a kid we were not allowed to get it. It was too expensive and my parents didn’t want to buy it. At some point, while I was thinking about putting it down, it dawned on me that I was a grown man with my own income. I bought like 20 boxes."
Remember your first job? That was a defining moment for these Redditors.
Joining The Daily Grind
"Starting my first full-time 9-5 job."
"Same. It was weird not having to clock in or out and being allowed to leave work to go run an errand etc."
"I relate to this so hard. I remember when I got my first big boy job I'd pop my head into the bosses office and be like 'cool if I go to lunch?' Or something along those lines and she'd give me a weird look. After like two weeks she let me know that she did not care about lunch breaks, doctors appointments, or even leaving a little early, so long as the work got done. One of my earliest memories of that adulty feeling."
I remember buying my first movie ticket to an R-rated movie was extremely satisfying.
I conveniently forget what movie it was, but it was most likely for a horror film.
Not that the restriction for those under 17 has ever prevented me from sneaking into another theater after having purchased a ticket for a PG-13 film.
Hey, I never claimed to be a model teenager.
No joke, I will never forget the old Sock'em Boppers commercials. I am well past the age group that plays with these things but that theme song is often in my head. What can I say? I watched a ton of TV as a kid and saw that commercial a million times.
They're now known as Socker Boppers and it's just not the same. Remember that video jingle, "it's more fun than a pillow fight?" Those were the days. Alas, everything good must end.
There are a host of other commercials that have left an impression on people. These people shared their thoughts with us after Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 asked the online community,
"What's a commercial you'll never forget?"
"I still giggle..."
"I still giggle at the LifeAlert "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials. They even have a newer batch of them out."
There's a criminal in my house!
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
The world may never know.
"I tried to collect..."
"Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
"I tried to collect all those stuffed Taco Bell dogs they did in promotion around this time. I had almost all of them, but never got my favourite one, with the military hat that says, "Viva gordita!""
I remember those! There were so many. I swear, I had at least one or two but they've now been lost to time.
"This is your brain."
"The "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs" egg commercial."
Oh, but remember the old Rachel Leigh Cook commercial where she destroyed the entire kitchen and not just the egg?
"The dancing old man..."
"The dancing old man from the Six Flags commercials."
Now this one really takes me back.
The Venga bus is coming!!!
And everybody's jumping!!!
"That mid 2000s..."
"That mid 2000s Chef Boyardee commercial where the can follows the family and rolls home with them."
You mean the one where the can is clearly stalking the family and people are too shy to say otherwise?
At least that's how I like to play it out in my head.
"The Wilford Brimley..."
"The Wilford Brimley diabeetus commercial."
At this point, diabetes should just be called Wilford Brimley syndrome.
"The Budweiser Wassup Commercial refuses to exit my brain to this day."
WAZZZUUUUUPPP!? Any kids watching Scary Movie will not understand that reference in the movie sadly.
"Five eight eiiight, two-three hundred... ...Empiiiiire!"
Good choice. This one is always living rent-free inside my head.
"My bologna has a first name. It's O-s-c-a-r. My bologna has a second name. It's M-a-y-e-r. Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask my why, I'll say. Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a."
This commercial is likely singlehandedly responsible for teaching children how to spell "bologna."
Apologies if you now have relentless commercial jingles rattling inside your brain right now. You should have known we'd awake some long buried childhood memories!
Have some commercials you remember? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
If you're not familiar with the phrase "you are what you eat," it is not a literal statement.
Instead, the line suggests that it is important to eat better quality foods in order to stay healthy and fit.
But the notion that we can go through a transformation of some sort based on our behavior or surroundings can still be a thing depending on certain discussions within context.
Curious to hear examples of what this might be, Redditor standardgenre45 asked:
"What’s something that people turn into their whole personality?"
We can lose sight of ourselves when heavily influenced by another individual or a group of people.
Influenced By Devotion
"Politicians they follow."
Era-Specific Like-Minded Individuals
"The generation they're born in."
We Like, We Follow
"‘Girl bosses’/MLM cult engagers"
"And social media."
People can take on the characteristics that apply to their environments.
"Here in the Netherlands people who live in Amsterdam base their personality on Amsterdam."
When In Colorado
"People move to Colorado and Colorado becomes their personality. They buy a jeep or Subaru and start wearing Chaco’s, and plaster Mountain Life all over everything they own."
Claiming Ownership Of The State
"Not only that, but 'Colorado native' is a whole thing too. I've met many people who have nothing to talk about except how bitter they are that people keep moving in and how much better it was when they were kids."
What The Canadian Said
"It’s that way for a lot of major cities around the world. Here in Canada each province’s capital city has a bunch of people basing their personality off of it."
The Thing About Major American Cities
"Lots of New Yorkers (City not state) guilty of this too. But it’s not just them. Los Angelinos, San Francisans, Chicago and DC are guilty too. Texans are probably the worst about it, especially the further they get away from Texas, then you’ve got people from Austin who are like the elitist Texans, they’re like the oddest mix of hippie and redneck. They often pride themselves on the hippie and denounce the redneck while still obviously being one."
Things having to do with money can be an obsession and really take over the essence of a person.
Living Work Or Work For A Living?
Value Of Conversation
"Or just money in general. I worked with a guy who only ever talked about what things were worth, mostly vehicles. What he was thinking about buying. How much he could sell something for. The trades he wanted to make. How much our customers made. What motorbike he bought before from a guy on the street we happened to be on and what it's worth. That's all. It was annoying as f'k. Any conversation at all, you could be talking about your grandma, and he immediately tries to change the subject to value. It was literally the only small talk he knew. The fact he was poor just made it sad."
Just Cut The Pricetag
"Omg my husband is kind of like this and as much as I love him, it's so frustrating. I'm just not all about money. We don't need to tell the kids how much their gifts cost. Idk. It makes me a little nuts."
Power Of Money
"True, I lived it twice. First time I was a young, driven, ladder climber. Second I was a greedy, grab All the Cheeto’s before everything goes to pot… then when it did in 2008, financial collapse happened, I became lost. I’d let 95% of my identity become my job when it disappeared so did I. Took over a year to get my head right."
Ever been told that you're turning into one of your parents?
That's another phrase often uttered, especially by a sibling who sees that you have slowly taken on the characteristics and idiosyncrasies of your mom or dad.
Learned behavior or genes?
Could be either or both. What do you think?