Tending bar can be a really rewarding career, leading to uniquely intimate relationships will all sorts of great people. Being behind behind the beer lines also lets you overhear all types of crazy stuff. Sometimes it's like getting paid to watch Jerry Springer, two feet from your face.
Steelerfan345 asked bartenders of Reddit: What is the strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Rude.
Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, "Hey look, the bartender's really cute."
Friend: "No he's not!"
Response: "Oh yeah, you're right."
Damn dude. That sucks.
I'm sure there's someone that thinks you're cute.
Even if it's just your mom.
14. Is this a good deal? Asking for a friend.
Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I've heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.
Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.
13. Awkward.
Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I've ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.
12. People are creatures of habit... poor habits.
Lots and lots of cheaters. It's weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.
"Oh, you changed your hair!"
..."and height"...
..."and race"...
I asked one of my regular offenders about that. It appears that discretion is the most valuable asset to a cheater. So when they find a place that they feel comfortable and the bartender can maintain a straight face when different dates come in, they'll keep going back because it's the "lowest risk" to be discovered. And when I say discovered I don't mean by the main piece but all the various side pieces.
11. Hot take.
I've bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. "Look all I'm saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist." Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.
That's a fair premise really.
10. Talk about inappropriate...
I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he's Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I'd be bartending/bar backing with him lol
The exotic Mexican part got me lol
9. Never trust the angles.
On Valentine's Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the girl, but it was so obvious.
"Here's your drink, aaand one for your date on the house. Happy Valentine's Day!"
Edit: thanks for the silver, I'm all out of jokes
8. Someone's reference prowess is on point.
Randomly overheard two middle aged women:
"As a woman ages she can choose between her face or her assh*le, but she can't choose both."
I have no idea.
Edit: Just FYI, this was a thing awhile ago when Courtney Cox first started on that show Cougartown because of some press she did that was what I remembered it from to google up this article.
Edit again: this was a thing like 10 years ago. I'm just old so remembered it. I didn't mean to imply that its not outdated now.
7.This is a real profession and now I feel Iike I'm wasting my life.
I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.
I (a dude) have a very similar, job, and can confirm.
Honestly though, compared to the other things I have to remove, johnson pics are like the best case scenario in my day.
So, what are some categories for dicks?
Hotdog and not hotdog.
6. Well then.
"I hated myself until I discovered masturbation."
Just because I make love to myself doesn't mean I love myself.
5. What a bro.
Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've heard. At first the usual "Lemme tell ya, you're a good person. I love you man." Later on (still fairly basic): "F*ck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!"
To finally this gem: "If a tornado were to blow you away... I would fly after you."
4. Gurl...
"You won't come home with me because I have a stinky pussy sob sob" - Middle aged woman on a first date at like 7 O'Clock on a Wednesday. The guy was planning on going home with her until that i guess
Now I understand where all the patients presenting to the emergency department with vaginal discharge at 9PM on a Wednesday come from!
3. Ah the butt chug.
"You think they have those straws for sucking drinks in your butt here?"
Wow. Can't compete with that. Don't even really understand that.
Well... did you?
Butt straws aren't really a thing, you're just supposed to turn a normal straw upside down
I mean, if you think about it, the human body is just the world's most disgusting crazy straw.
2. I mean...
Guy: "I think I'm going to need a coke chaser for this one." Girl, presumably SO: "we already did all the coke..." Guy: "Coca Cola, you idiot!"
Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.
1. This lemon party.
These three middle aged women (alone at the bar) discussing in excruciating detail their sexual fantasies, which seemed to include "sucking off a younger man." I was 22 at the time. They obviously knew I could hear them but it was so awkward. I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes.
Were you cutting the piths off? That might've been what made them hot and bothered.
Nahh I think that would have pithed them off.
I would love to know how people don't fear death.
I mean, it's the end. Life will be over. That kind of sucks.
Yet there are people who find tranquility in it.
Can you teach the rest of us?
Redditor deensuk wanted to hear from everyone who has a calmness about the heading to the afterlife. They asked:
"People who are not scared of death, why?"
I have a constant fear of death. I wanna perfect the ending of "Death Becomes Her" so I can live forever.
Before
"I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however."
Full-Mulberry5020
Why now?
"Why should I be scared now of something that's only going to happen at the end of my life?"
User Deleted
"I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer."
"Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want."
Conservative_HalfWit
Death and I are good friends...
"I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia."
"Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends."
Tiny_Teach_5466
No Worries
"Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not."
Giallo_submarine
It's Over
"Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it."
MarshallApplewhiteDo
I never thought about the before much. I hope the before is quick.
The Effects
"I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralyzed. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me."
M1ssy_M3
No Terror
"It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist."
im_on-the_can
state of nonexistence...
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love."
Wazula42
I'm Gone...
"Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died)."
"It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?"
SallyHeap
At Peace
"I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach."
User Deleted
Some very interesting perspectives. May it all calm peacefully and with great mercy for us all.
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Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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When we first meet someone–whether through mutual friends, at school, or in a new work setting–we generally feel people out to determine if they're worth getting to know.
While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"

Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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