The blockbuster movie "The Hangover" is just entertainment, not a blueprint for a fun night out before your I Do's.
A night of abandon that is recorded in the friendship history books. But all the activities included in those evenings should be within reason! Remember you're still committed to this other person. You're just out for a good time, you're not single for a day. So let's not get too crazy!
Redditor theukmoody wondered People who have witnessed a "There's not going to be a wedding" moment following a bachelor/bachelorette party: what went down? Gird your loins kids!
That old spark is dangerous...Giphy
My wife's friend called off her wedding a week before the ceremony. She lived several hundred miles away for school but came back to her hometown two weeks before the wedding to make sure everything was lined up and have her bachelorette party. In the course of her visit, she came across an old boyfriend (who was also engaged) and things "sparked" up again. They agreed they should each leave their fiancés and give their relationship another shot.
Turns out, he didn't keep up his end of the bargain, and she is still single today.
My dad and his friends took a buddy by canoe to an island to get drunk the night before the wedding. He told them all he didn't want to go through with it but couldn't figure out how to get out of it. When he woke up in the morning, they had stranded him on the island, he missed the wedding, his buddies were branded as the jerks. Groom to be was relieved.
Calling Betty Ford...
I see a lot of bachelor and bachelorette parties in my line of work. I actually have a few of these memories.
The first that comes to mind was an interesting night where the bachelor party was happening at one bar and the bachelorette party was in the bar down the block. At the groom to be's party I get a call for help from the place. It's a tame security call. Just a couple getting it on in a bathroom. The bar wanted them booted. I find out the dude is the groom to be and the girl is just some random chick. The chick goes off on her own and now I'm with the groom outside. He's drunk and almost uncontrollable. I am trying to find him a way home safe. His bros were all drunk and kept the party going without him. After a while, the bride to be and her gals come walking down the street. A couple people around chime in and tell her why I am there dealing with him. She breaks down and calls the wedding off right there. He ended up going to detox that night.
"She's" the one!Giphy
I traveled with my wife (then girlfriend) to a wedding she was in. I told my wife there is something going on between the bride and the maid of honor. She laughed. Two weeks after the wedding the brides Facebook goes dark. The bride and maid of honor are now living together in another state. I still talk about how I called it within an hour of meeting them. Poor groom... super nice dude.
Boo she is cray! Run!Giphy
I know a guy who seemingly had his life together: great career, lots of friends, beautiful fiancee.
He had a tendency to drink too much while partying, and a few weeks before the wedding he woke up in the hospital with serious injuries due to a non-automotive drunken accident. The scariest part for him was that he didnt remember a thing past leaving the party to walk home. Did he fall and hit his head? Did someone attack him and leave him for dead?
The thought of that scared him, and he decided to sober up. It also caused him to reflect on his life, and he realized his fiancee was manipulative, controlling, and he'd never be happy living with someone like that. He has some long term damage from the injury, but he's still sober, spends much of his free time for a charitable cause, and dodged a serious bullet (a bad marriage) as a result of that horrible injury so he oddly came out ahead in the end.
- A wedding came in from out of town, the bride/groom hadn't had a stag/hen do so decided the night before that the men and woman would split up and each have their own party. The men had a small cocktail bar and the women took the restaurant. I was meant to be working the main bar but got asked by a female colleague to cover the cocktail bar as the men were getting rowdy and making comments - no problem. Got in there and its just a group of old mates getting hammered, pretty standard stuff, until the stripper arrived. She did a full show, the groom has to remove her underwear with his teeth. All was well until the women found out and called off the wedding - shouting matches went on well into the early hours. The wedding did go ahead, but you could tell there was awkwardness in the air.
- The bride came to the bar asking if we had seen the groom as he was needed for some photographs or cutting the cake, can't quite remember. None of the staff had seen him so she went outside, only to return a few minutes later in tears. She had caught the groom getting with the Maid of Honor...her sister. All out family war commenced with extra guests just sitting there enjoying the buffet. Worst part was hearing the bride cry "I can't believe this happened again", I really felt bad for her because she was lovely. 8bitbenben
The bartender holds the secrets...Giphy
I bartend weddings fairly often and work directly with wedding planners all the time and meet with the bride and groom to be to talk things through and create a sense of familiarity. Each time I met the groom he just kind of seemed out of it but I chalked it up to stress. Day of the wedding before the ceremony the wedding planner comes over and asks for a couple shots for herself, she doesn't drink on jobs so I ask her why. Apparently things were about to get started but the groom was missing and wasn't responding to phone calls so everyone is looking for him then one of the brides maids disappears.
Not long after the brother of the groom gets a text from the groom saying he and the brides maid are in love and they're running away to elope and that he'll call him after. Everyone is getting antsy waiting for things to start and they've all been waiting like 2 hours. Now the wedding planner has to tell 150 people that the wedding is off and explain to the parents what happened while the wedding party is consoling the bride.
Ex-girlfriend was going to a friend of a friends bachelorette party, mainly for her friend who didn't want to go solo.
Anyway, I knew they were going to a strip club and expected to hear all about those shenanigans. She text me when they were leaving, the bride had payed for two of the strippers to come back with them. They went back and the show continued. Everyone seemed like they were having fun, but generally playing by the rules. Nothing that doesn't go on at tons of bachelorette parties.
At some point things took a turn.Then, things went the way they usually do with sexually charged people. People started screwing. Turned into two of the girls having sex with the strippers. Then the bride.
There was no wedding.
Wedding Photographer here - This happened with a couple back in 2015.
Night before the wedding, all the bridal party got together at the hotel, partied, and drank a LOT. I show up the next morning 8am after a 2 hour drive to be told by the hotel receptionist, that there was not going to be a wedding.
Apparently a large fight broke out between the groomsman and bridesmaids. Money to pay then vendors was stolen. The ceremony was supposed to be at 11am that day. After about 2 minutes of WTF is going on here, nobody called and told me. I called the bride's mother - and she stated that she was off to pick up the bride and groom, sit them down, and still try to have a wedding.
Fast forward a couple hours, the groom showed up drunk out of his mind around 10am, guests were already showing up, the bride finally showed around 11:30 - noon time, and there was a ceremony at 1pm. Yes - they still got married. The groom was drunk the whole day, the couple argued a ton.
Needless to say... It was an eventful day.
Dear Jane... I'm a little...Giphy
A friend of mine in college had been engaged to her high school sweet heart. Plan was for them to get married after she graduated. She was one of those that dreamed of her wedding since she was a little girl. She had been planning FOREVER!!! A week before the wedding, he leaves without a trace, except a note saying I can't marry you. She was devastated. We still had a party with the wedding cake, food, etc. because it had all been paid for already. Saddest party ever. She ran into him a few years later at an 80's dance club wearing a mesh shirt and a taxi hat making out with a dude. Saw it coming!!!
Birds of a Feather...Giphy
Both parties happened same night same location as they didn't trust each other. Bachelorette and her maid of honor snuck off mid party to go up stairs to a room they booked to have sex with some random people.
Don't worry the bachelor was a scum too, at some point during their relationship he poked holes in condoms so she'd get pregnant and stay.
Hey girl hey/Ooops...
Not because of the party but still good. Day of the wedding Groom's family is patiently waiting. Bride's family hasn't shown. Bride's mother finally arrives and says that Bride has discovered Groom has a second fiancee in another state and wedding is off. Rehearsal dinner photos on Facebook and someone tagged the wrong girl assuming that was his fiancee he had been talking about. Except it was the other fiancee. So Bride see her tagged as someone else and messages from out of town friends about "Cant wait to meet her why wasn't I invited?"
This be like Jerry Springer meets Maury while at a UFC match! It's awesome!Giphy
Strip club manager here,
Funniest thing I've ever seen. 5 man bachelor party comes into work. Kinda tipsy and having a good time but not being disruptive. They are hanging out for a while and they are great, throwing money and overall being pleasant. At this point they have done nothing wrong. About 2 hours in, my front door flings open and in barge 4 very very drunk women. They storm right past security, make a beeline for the group and what I later learned was the bride, proceeds to beat the absolute crap out of the groom. Then 2 of the other ladies proceed to botch at than attack the best man and another guy. Me and my team bolt over to try and separate the cluster that just transpired pulling the ladies off the guys who looked just as surprised as we were.
We drag them outside and the guys all follow out. The bride start going absolutely nuts on the groom saying how she can't believe he'd go to a strip club to see naked women before their wedding. The groom starts yelling saying it's not a big deal etc. The maid of honor and best man (who were apparently married) also are having the same discussion.
The fun really gets turned to 11 when the quiet female (up to this point) walks up and slaps the dog crap out of the groom wondering why she wasn't good enough. Apparently they had dated years ago and she never got over him. Also apparently the bride did NOT know this information. Bridezilla goes OFF. Start beating the crap out of quiet chick. While groom, me and another security guy are trying to stop a murder in my parking lot, best man and maid of honor are still arguing. Once we separate bride and quiet chick, all we hear is best man scream forget this! Walks over, tells groom he screwed the bride like 3 years ago at a party with the maid of honor and he didn't want him to marry her.
Groom surprisingly is calm... turns to bride and says the wedding was off. She starts freaking out crying apologizing and begging as he walks in the club to pay his tab...
Craziest night at work ever....
Always check who you're emailing
I was two weeks away from getting married, ex went off with her friends for Bachelorette party two in the morning I get a email from the maid of honor it was supposed to be sent to her friends and my name was accidentally selected, the email contained a video of my bride to be performing oral on the male strippers. The next day we were supposed to finalize some plans when the bride to be and maid of honor showed up to pick me up i just pointed at the computer... bride went pale then spent the next eight hours attempting to explain what was going on, then it turned into a horrible mistake, I think at some point I passed out because i had started drinking right after seeing the video and just didn't stop.
Thank her for her service?Giphy
Military idiot in my old unit had a bachelor party at a (very nasty) strip club and screwed a stripper in front of his buddies in the private room. Of course word about this spread like wildfire in the unit and confirmed by the dozen of guys that were in the room when it happened, military spouses gossip and talk and soon the wife found out and they were divorced less than a month later.
I'm still friends with the groom on FB and he is still a idiot.
Dodged A Bullet
My wife had a friend whose fiancee called off the wedding after he found out she had been with a black guy... years before they even started dating.
Always trust your gut...Giphy
This happened to one of my oldest friends who I met in preschool, our families were friends, they moved out of state in middle school but we kept in touch. Cut to our 20s- He gets engaged to his gf that he was living with, everything sounds good, I got the invite and was making plans to travel for the wedding. They had a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas with their wedding party and I coincidentally was out there the same weekend visiting family, so I joined them out one night.
It was awkward AF. I can't really describe the tension. Fiancé didn't even say hi or acknowledge me when I said congrats (first time meeting her too). Everything was disorganized, no one knew what was going on, we kinda wandered from place to place til we settled at a bar in a hotel. I never saw the bride and groom next to each other all night let alone talking. They got in different cabs from one place to the other even though it was not separated by guys and girls, but one big party. I ended up hanging out mostly with my friend's older brother and his gf. I got the weirdest vibe off the situation and when I got back I told my SO I wanted to hold off buying the plane tickets and wasn't sure I wanted to make the effort and pay a lot of money to travel to a wedding that I felt so uneasy about.
Maybe two weeks later my friend calls to ask if I've bought tickets yet. Not yet... Good he says, the wedding is off. Fiancé decided she was in love with one of the groomsmen and she moved in with him. The groomsman that lived rightnext door to them. She claims she never cheated while they were together and it just happened... right. I think she and groomsman got married some time later, but my friend was stuck in the lease living next to them for several months.
Shots for the groom... I mean the birthday boy!
It was a month before my scheduled wedding and I was getting everything ready. In the meantime all of my close friends in my wedding party came out to celebrate my bachelor party with some drinking, floating, sky diving, etc. Well the night before they get there, my now ex-fiance of 8 years says that she no longer wants to go through with the wedding. So I spend the morning my friends are there calling around to friends, family, reservation services and explaining the news (completing blindsided). Come to find out she had cheated on me and had been feeling that way "for awhile" but didn't share this with me until the day of my Birthday... the day before my friends visit for a few days.
Needless to say the plans changed a bit and it turned into my Birthday party instead. Was pretty awful but I ended up having a good time with best friends.
Much happier now with my soul mate and so thankful that things worked out the way they did!
What happens in Vegas... may destroy your life!
Bachelor party went on a cruise and never left the ship. Ate too much and drank a lot. Meanwhile the bachelorette party went to Vegas. The bride banged one of the strippers and two of the bridesmaids hooked up with old boyfriends who just happened to be there. The wedding never happened. But the bridesmaids are now both engaged to their respective boyfriends (the ones that they cheated on) and planning a double bachelorette party in..... you guessed it..... Las Vegas.
Left foot green...Giphy
Three of us guys were best friends since high school - we'll say it's Billy (guy getting married), Joel (one of the 3 amigos), Martin (me). Fast forward to about age 23 - Billy is getting married to this girl who was 19 at the time. Night of the bachelor party, somehow Joel and I are alone with the bride-to-be. She's got a few drinks in her, and decides to seriously proposition Joel for sex. We thought long and hard about telling Billy, but given previous experiences (we told him about an Ex doing some shady crap and he proceeded to stop talking to us until they broke up), we decided against it. They did get married... 6 months in he got home early from work and walked in on her in the middle of taking her clothes off in the living room with another dude. While they might have just been starting an innocent game of naked twister, he decided to divorce her.
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Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."