Anonymous People Reveal The Dumbest Lie They Ever Told That Someone Actually Believed
Did anybody believe it? It's natural for humans to lie to keep themselves out of trouble. It's an easy solution. Whether you're late for curfew, late on a paper, whatever-you've found the perfect excuse. Or not....
NineFeetUnderground asked Reddit:
And started out the lie parade with:
My German teacher was German, so if you corrected her English as a naive speaker, she'd just believe you and change her English accordingly.
For example, "Piece of paper? Don't you mean a slice of paper Miss?"
"Ah yes, of course, get yourself a slice of paper"
But the best was one day when we were doing advanced animal names in German. Someone asked her if there was an equivalent for the male names of certain animals like we have in English i.e. Tomcat, Billygoat, Jack Deer, etc.
Turned out she'd never hear any of those 3 before so I 'taught' her a whole list of fictional English Male Animal names varying from Boris Badger & Henry Hedgehog to Roger Turkey & Oliver Otter. Kudos to the class who backed up my deadpan delivery and laughed about it afterwards.
I thought nothing of it, but she took the list home & learnt every single one.
I got pulled out of the middle of a class 2 years later completely out of the blue and was given an absolute bollocking. Turned out she'd tried teaching the list to her class of 11 year olds who'd laughed her out of the class...
I convinced two colleagues that in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Taco Bell was selling tacos with pink taco shells, but in order to get them, you had to specifically ask for pink tacos.
Both of them went to Taco Bell, separately, and both of them returned to work screaming at me for making fools of them.
during a high school auditorium lecture on drugs, the lecturers on stage asked for questions. i raised my hand, and when called upon i asked, with my best pokerface, 'why do you get high when you eat three bananas and then drink a can of sprite really fast?' the lecturer had obviously never heard of that before, and i started hearing all around me 'does that work?. the answer to that is, you won't get high, but you will vomit.
needless to say, i had people coming up to me all day telling me that people have been throwing up all over the place. that s*** still makes me laugh
Convinced my friend that doing a headstand would get rid of her hangover. Nope.
That I was a professional bowler.
My entire class believed me.
When a peer asked why I gave it up to study, I looked them in the eye and told them "it gave up on me."
My dad bought a Prius when they first came out--the original one--and three of my friends had no clue what kind of car it was, so I told them that it had rockets instead of exhaust. Whenever my dad came to pick me up, they'd ask him to use the rockets. After we'd leave, he'd give a look like, "Son, you need to find some new friends."
I convinced my little sister that macaroni shells had hermit crabs living in them. She believed me for years. Even though shes older and knows it's a lie, she still can't eat macaroni shells.
Let's Get Down To Business
Half-Asian. I told a girl in college that I was a Hun.
"No, really! We had to retreat after the barbarian wars to a little valley in Romania. My parents came here in the 70s because Huns are discriminated against."
It just kept going and going. She asked everything about Hunnish ways. I talked about how I had to go hunting on my 8th birthday and drink the blood, the ruinously expensive village reunions for every wedding, the sword I had to leave at home because the dorm wouldn't let me bring it.
When I was in college I was an orientation leader for new international students (I was the only American in the group). At some event everyone was introducing themselves and where they were from. I picked a country at random and jokingly announced that I was from Finland. I didn't realize that this girl took me seriously until months later when she introduced me to someone else as an international student from Finland.
How Did This Get Believed
I convinced my good friend of 3 years that I weigh 250 lbs due to an incredibly rare bone density disease. Note: I'm 5'5" and actually weigh 135.
The Hazard Bird
My dad drove me and my little brother to the store and left us there while he went to get groceries. I was about twelve at the time, and my brother was about seven. We were both bored, playing I Spy in the parking lot and all, and my brother wanted to know what the hazard light on the car dashboard meant.
I told him that if he hit the hazard button, the Hazard Bird would come down from its roost and snatch him up and carry him away. I also told him that he could never bring this up to our father, because he'd lost a grandfather to the Hazard Bird, and was very sensitive to mentions of the Hazard Bird. My brother acted very careful to never mention the Hazard Bird when our dad got back in the car. He even looked kind of haunted.
My brother came to me last year and told me he'd figured out the whole Hazard Bird thing was a lie.
He was sixteen.
For about 10 glorious seconds, I made my girlfriend believe that Canada was named after the Geese.
You see, there are Canada geese in Europe, so I told that they'd always been called that, and they'd always been around.
Once explorers found Canada, the only thing they saw that looked familiar, were the geese, so of course they would name the new land after these geese, that were so like the ones found at home.
When I was in grade 2 there was a vicious bully in grade 5 who picked on me for no good reason. I came up with a plan to deal with him that sounds really ridiculous but it was pretty ingenious for a 7 year old kid. I intentionally peed my pants during recess and then told a teacher that this kid had urinated on me. Needless to say this got way out of hand and the principal expelled the kid. I didn't speak up because I didn't want to get in trouble so I went through with my lie. Plus I was secretly pleased that he got kicked out of school. It sounds pretty horrible but this kid was probably the most vicious adversary I've ever had.
Liquored Up Lies
That if you were drinking beer and you got really drunk, and then switched to spirits, the spirits would then 'reset' your drunkeness level because they were a different sort of thing.
That ended badly. Hilarious though.
I convinced my younger brother that the Discovery Channel was putting out a new reality show that was to be a companion to "Deadliest Catch" called "The Deadliest Harvest," where they chronicled the dangers and horrors of harvesting iceberg lettuce... from the icebergs they grow on.
That Glue Thing
In school I used to really like spreading Elmer's glue on my hand, letting it dry, and then peeling it off. (Who am I kidding...I still like doing this.) Anyway, one time a friend saw me peeling off the dried glue and asked me why my skin was peeling off. I told him it was a side-effect of being vegetarian. He believed me...we were in high school...
So one summer day, I go visit my Mexican aunt (my dad is Mexican, mom is white) who always gives me food to bring home to my family whenever I stop by. On this particular day, she gave me some home made salsa along with some sugar cookies. So I bring said salsa and cookies home and as I walk in the door my mom sees and asks, "watcha got there?"
I tell her for no reason at all, "these Mexican sugar cookies that you're supposed to eat with this salsa... weird right? It's some Mexican specialty."
"Oh goodie! Sounds exciting." She proceeds to grab a spoon, cookie and the salsa, pours a dab onto the cookie and is about to eat it. At this point I make the swift and decisive decision not to tell her I was kidding. She chewed and swallowed the whole thing, bless her soul. Needless to say, it did not taste good but she chalked it up as an acquired taste and to this day she doesn't know that the cookies and salsa were meant to be deliciously enjoyed apart from one another.
I also once convinced her a soccer field is a mile long.
Nobody Is Actually From Greenland
I managed to convince this girl I was originally from Greenland (I'm actually from Haiti). I just went on and on for like 20 minutes talking about how rough the winters were, and how my family finally decided to leave due to my grandfather's traumatic death.
So my grandfather was a hunter, so he'd go out fairly often, and, as any good Greenlander knows, we've got quite the problem with wolverines in Greenland. One snowy January night my grandfather was out when he heard a pack of wolverines. Being the outdoorsman that he was, he didn't panic, and calmly edged back towards our home. As he turned to go, the largest wolverine he'd ever seen stalked out towards him. After struggling with this beast for a while, he lost his left hand to animal's teeth. He managed to make it home alright, but the animal had the taste of man, and he was hungry for some more.
A year later, grandpa went out hunting, and he met the giant of a wolverine again, in the ensuing scuffle, he lost his gun, and suffered many wounds before dealing a fatal blow to his foe. The rest of the pack was scared off once my grandpa managed to reclaim his gun after the fight. So then he passed out from blood loss and froze to death, and was later eaten by the pack like a grand-sickle.
She actually believed me, too. She was one of the nicest people I know, so I felt bad and couldn't keep it up for long, but for about a week she believed I was Greenlandish and had lost my grandfather in a traumatic and badass way.
I had moved, as a 16-year-old Junior, from Alaska to California at the end of my Junior year. My new teachers, of course, decided to introduce me as "MizRenee from Alaska," and encouraged questions from my new classmates. To my abject horror, most of them were from purportedly intelligent students asking things like "did you have blow-dryers, curling irons, electricity, etc.," and the ever-popular "did you live in an igloo." I finally couldn't take it anymore, so when the igloo question popped up? I quite seriously looked at the class and said, "of course we lived in an igloo - a two-story one in fact, and the dog-sled igloo was attached too. Unfortunately, we turned the whale-oil heater up too high, and it melted both igloos, and, because it's April, the snow's no good this time of year for building another one, which is why I've moved down here."
I was appalled when Every. Single. Person. - including the teacher - believed me. No questions asked.
Second or third time I met her, I convinced the lady I am now dating that there really are blue raspberries. They grow in Cambodia, but you don't see them ever, because they spoil so fast that they have to be juiced right away, similar to guavas.
I came up with this on the spot when she asked if I "knew any interesting facts". After a little bit, I confessed there are no real blue raspberries and she punched me in the stomach. We'll have been dating for three years at the end of this month.