911 is a serious phone line and should not be used as an alternative to the shopper's network, psychic hotline or your local sushi delivery. And if you house people who are mentally not prepared to use the line judiciously, then please hide all the phones. That should be the warning that everyone hears when calling into the emergency phone service, but then we wouldn't have some solidly funny stories about when the less than stable ring up our officers. It's not right, but it's okay.
Redditor u/KrystalGamer246 was dying to hear about the 911 calls that could be in a comedy series by asking... To any 911 call operators, what is the funniest 911 call you've ever had?Wrenched
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A guy calls from a payphone to complain that he has a pipe wrench stuck up his butt and he needed an ambulance. He gave his location as the corner where the payphone was located. I asked him if he could tell me his appearance so I could be sure the medics could find him. His response, "look dude, I'll be the only guy on the corner with a pipe wrench in his butt." I couldn't argue with that...
Duck. Duck. Owl
My kid worked for animal control, we are eating dinner and 911 dispatch calls him. Some panicked lady had called 911 about an owl in a tree that couldn't fly. It had been sitting in the tree for a half hour not moving. Of course it was just before dusk and the owl was just waiting for dark so it could go hunt for dinner.
Then there was the call about the one legged duck at the park...
Edit to add: he actually went to the park to make sure the duck wasn't injured but realized after 15 minutes how silly he looked chasing after this one legged duck that was outrunning him.
Say "AHHH"
My mom was a 911 operator in the SF Bay area in the 80s and 90s. I asked her to tell me a story to pass along, so here it is:
I got a 911 call and I couldn't understand the caller. He was slurring his words. I knew he was calling from a bar so I asked if he'd been drinking and after asking many times I asking, I was able to determine that he wanted the police, not an ambulance.
He wanted to file assault charges because a woman pulled his tongue. I asked, "how was she able to pull your tongue?" and he said, "because I stuck it out at her." I had to keep muting the call because I was laughing so hard.
Apparently my supervisor went on to play this call in seminars for years and always got a ton of laughter.
Barefoot, no shirt......
I used to do overnight security, and have had to call 911 several times. My favorite was a gentleman who was obviously on something, jittery, touching his face a lot, couldn't sit still.
He tried to break into a house next to our campus. So I dialed 911 right then. As I'm giving them a description of what he is wearing, he starts stripping his clothes off, running across our campus. So I have to tell the 911 operator, "Yeah, he butt naked in the middle of street, laying down. I think he's doing the worm." We lost the guy on cameras, no clue where he is. Five cop cars show up and they round up the only guy in our area with no shoes or a shirt.
We went outside to give the cops a statement, and the guy is trying to convince the police that he is the one who called them to report someone stealing his shoes. The cops don't buy it for a second. But they let him go, and he just runs off into the night. Barefoot, no shirt.
2 Cows Running....
I called 911 about two cows running around on a street by my parents neighborhood. 911 operator asked me to describe the animals and I said "lady I promise you they're the only 2 cows running down the street right here." Then one got hit by a jeep and I had to clarify that there was now only one cow running down the street.
Dinner?
My department dispatches our area's animal control after hours. Once received a call from a guy freaking out because he caught a possum in his house. I asked him which room he was able to confine the animal and he didn't tell me which room, but said he trapped it in a microwave. I had many questions.
Change the Speed
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My late aunt once called 911 because my uncle wouldn't change the fan that was blowing on her. Because it was a small community in NE Michigan, the police laughed and came out and changed the fan.
Haunted
I'm not sure if this is true, but I read about an old lady who called 911 because a ghost was in her house. She was a sweet woman who apparently made calls often, so the officers showed up and pretended to arrest the ghost so she would feel better.
Excuse me. Manager?
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At a long term care facility I worked at One of our residents called 911 with the phone in her room because she didn't get ketchup with her lunch. Not kidding. The Sherrif's office called back to let the nurses know what she'd done while I was standing right there. I've never laughed so hard at work.
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I can't definitively say I've come face to face with the spirits. But I have had some unsettling feelings in the dark. Shadows are just shadows sometimes, but who can be sure.
I hear it...
Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy"I was helping my dad clean my grandma's house after she passed and I went in and was trying to find a song in my phone and before I could I heard a cough plain as day come from down the hallway where her room was. She died of lung and throat cancer it was pretty crazy."
Running Past...
"When I was 5 I remember getting home from my grandpa's birthday party. For context my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time, so my parents had already bought his crib. I woke up in the middle of the night to find a women in a white dress and long black hair standing over my brother's crib. I managed to wake up my dad so he could take me to the bathroom. When I got back it was still there. It was only until morning when it disappeared. Every now and then I see a glance of what I assume is that thing running past the backyard."
The Cat
"My best friend and his wife had moved to a new apartment. I came over to visit a few times, and each time I'd see the motion of a cat in my peripheral vision. Not the image of a cat, but a sense of how a cat moves. Anyway, one day I finally cracked some joke about the ghost cat in the place and his wife was instantly saying "See! See! I told you we had a ghost cat!"
"excuse me"
"I worked graveyard shift in a dementia ward for 4 years and it was anything but quiet. I was working with a nurse one night when we both heard a resident say "excuse me." We looked around and no-one was there. I checked on the resident in question and she was fast asleep in her own room. Many of us also experienced someone whistling in the ward late at night and one nurse even managed to catch a video of it happening. It was unnerving to say the least."
Clueless
Skeleton GIFGiphy"I once saw someone short walk by me in my house. They walked into the laundry room which only has one way in. I walked into it behind them and they where gone. I thought it was my little brother but I went to his room and he was asleep. I still have no clue what that was."
- ImBolio
Now was everyone here positive they were sober? Just asking. Those are certainly spooky moments. I'd like some video footage please. Continue...
Reflections
ghost library GIFGiphy"I was up at 3am when I was maybe 7 or 8. I looked out the window and saw a woman in a white dress run across my yard. I could see through her. She was transparent like the reflections on the window."
"you alright?"
"So, my work place is haunted. I was having a really crap day, and as a cleaner, it's normal that me and my co worker will be the only ones left at night. So I was standing on the second floor, leaning on the banister for the stair case, when I heard this male voice say in my ear "you alright?" Clear as day. I turned around so fast and nobody was there and it scared the hell out of me."
- Rex-the-
Watching Me
"I remember as a young kid I usually use to sit in my bed and watch tv with my room door open while the adjacent guest bedroom next to mine would always have the door shut. I always remember seeing that door fully open and close by itself multiple times a day very slowly and gently. Never really bothered me much now that I think about it… but there were other creepier experiences I had in the same house that made me feel uncomfortable like I was being watched."
Betsy
"I went to the Betsy Ross House as a really little kid in the early 90s. Normal house but I was confused why the tour guide never talked about the woman on the chair crying at the edge of the bed in Betsy Ross's bedroom. So I asked about it. No one else saw the woman at the edge of the bed. I figured it was just a wax museum since there was a wax statue of a man in uniform rolling bullets in the basement."
"Years later, I was looking at haunted Philadelphia tours to go on with a friend and the Betsy Ross House was on it. I was like "woah! I was there!" and looked into it some more. Turns out there is a woman at the end of the bed crying and a uniformed man in the basement that people have reported seeing. There is no way that 8 year old me would have known about either of these things."
hello kitty...
hello kitty lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy"I had this hello kitty Balloon In my bed room, it had a string and weight on it. So it was late, I had the lights on just Sitting on my bed. The Balloon turns, faces my door, slowly floats into my hallway and turns and floats into my sister's room. To this day I am scared of balloons."
They are among us and they like Hello Kitty. I'm probably rattling the paranormal cages and they'll come for me next, but I'm ready. I feel like this thread has prepared me.
Boo!
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