As a teacher, you have to maintain some level of composure in front of your students in order to gain their respect. But students say the darnedest things taking everything in the teacher's power not to break. Here are some outrageously funny things teachers shouldn't have laughed at.
1/27. Last year, my classroom carpet had the alphabet border around the edges. One of my students, Demetrius, liked to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name. One day, Zaria sits on the letter D. Demetrius gets in her face and yells, "Zaria! Get off my D!" I lost it.
2/27. My friend was subbing in a high school class. The teacher had left some work and the kids all had these sheets they had to fill out. One kid (let's call him Jimmy), who was overweight, was bringing his filled out sheet to the teacher's desk when another female student (think Mean Girls) asked out loud: "Jimmy... why are you so FAT!?" Before my friend could say something, Jimmy replied with:
"You want to know why I'm so fat? Because every time I see your mother, she gives me a cookie and tells me she wishes I were her kid instead of you."
My friend had to leave the room so as not to laugh. Everybody lost it and apparently the girl even apologized because Jimmy's comeback was too good.
3/27. When reading Hamlet with the class, after Ophelia's line about Hamlet, "To speak of horrorshe comes before me," a kid said, "Hamlet, get it together, man." I cracked up. The other kids didn't get it luckily.
4/27. I confiscated a balloon from a kid one day, because he was making that really loud squeaky noise with it. Two minutes later I looked over and he had another balloon. A blue one this time. Took that one too. Next time I turned my head he pulled out another one. Red. Took it.
This went on for another two minutes or so, which counted another three balloons. I finally asked him how much longer this was going to go on, to which he just kinda shrugged his shoulders.
"Well, how many more balloons do you have?" I asked him.
"I dunno, couple?" he said, as he opened his backpack.
His backpack was literally full of balloons. There were at least a couple hundred in there. No books, no pencils, no spare room for anything else, save for the five or six balloons that I had confiscated a few minutes prior. There were four or five pockets on the bag that I asked him to empty, which were all filled with balloons as well.
All in all, the kid was very dedicated to the gag, so I told him that if he promised to do the same thing to another particular teacher, he could get them back at the end of the class.
More hilarious stories teachers weren't supposed to laugh at on next page!
5/27. When I was in grade 1, I was some seriously hot stuff. I knew my times tables up to 12, was picked first for dodgeball and everyone wanted to trade their lunch with me. I had it going on.
Now, one day, we're all assigned to write a small story to share with everyone at the end of the day. Most kids haul out a sheet of looseleaf and a pencil, one kid's in the back eating glue, but me? I've decided to write a monster of an epic tale, the likes of which Tolkien himself would be proud. I haul out not one, but FOUR sheets of looseleaf, but then I had an even better idea : if I fold the sheets in half twice, I can snip the top edge and have an EIGHT PAGE BOOK. That thang is gonna have a picture on the cover with MY name on it as the author. Aw yeah, I was gonna be making it RAIN smiley stickers.
So I labour away creating a fantastic novella about three little ducks. I've got a story, a villain, and a picture on every page... And did the fact that I couldn't find my yellow crayon stop me? Hell no - I updated my working title to "Three naked ducks" and coloured them peach.
I turn in my book and go crack a juice box with my buddy simon.
Finally, at the end of the day my teacher, Mrs. Davis, calls me to the front of the room to privately discuss my masterpiece - "yes!" I think, "this is it kid, you're moving up to the big leagues" and practically skip to the front of the room.
Mrs. Davis looks me right in the eye, face flushed and strained, with tears in her eyes and says,
" 'Duck' is spelt with a 'u', not an 'i' "
6/27. Teacher hears a girl's phone vibrating in her purse and says "I hope that is a phone." Teacher walks another two steps and realizes what she just said. Class erupts in laughter.
7/27. One of my preschoolers said, "I love you Miss Amiso, but I'm too old for you."
Apparently a five year old is too old for me...
8/27. One time a kid twisted another kids nipple as he raised his hand to answer a question.
9/27. This year, we were talking about our families. Dads were a difficult subject of discussion last year because I taught in a neighborhood in which most students didn't have dads, or if they did, they were in jail. Students would shout out things like, "My dad sells drugs!" or "My dad yells at my mom!" in this oddly excited voice because they didn't have filters yet & were just happy to have a chance to share. This year, most of my students have more traditional families. The other day, one of them shouted out, "My dad snores when he sleeps!" & another student responded with, "My dad sleeps naked!" Hilarious.
Now, I can't look at that dad without blushing.
More stories of teachers trying to keep their composure in front of their students on the next page!
10/27. My friends wife is a high school music teacher, and she told me a story.
She went into class and was getting set up, when she sees this kid take his trombone and place it between his legs and slid the slide out going "Look, I got a tromboner."
She said it was very difficult to discipline him while not laughing her butt off.
11/27. I teach undergrad courses. I caught a student that had plagiarized a few paragraphs in one of her papers. I asked her to stay after lecture and sat her down, asking if she had plagiarized her paper. Her eyes got huge, she welled up and then she said, "I did! I'm so sorry! I was so tired and had so much work and my roommate told me to do it and said you would never find out." Then with the most serious expression she whispered, "And, I know now she's the devil!"
I did not laugh even though I really wanted to.
12/27. My friend is standing at the front of the room as class is about to begin. The student comes barging in the room and basically yells at my friend, "MR G.!! I DON'T NEED YOUR QUESTIONS, I JUST NEED ANSWERS.....CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM!?" My friend was somewhat stunned, then as he was holding back laughter, he said "Sure..."
13/27. My friend is walking down the hallway headed to his classroom as the bell has just run. The hallway is basically empty, except for one student. He's standing at his locker with his backpack right in front of it. My friend walks over and says to the student "Hey, you need to get to class" to which the kid responds "I'm headed there in a second Mr. G." My friend sees him messing with his backpack and being secretive. Fearing he may have something (drugs, weapon, etc), he asks him what he's doing.
The kid pulls his hands out of his locker and is holding... two small turtles.
14/27. I taught daycare for four years. My favorite was when a four-year-old would curse. It usually went like this:
"Sh*t" "Jack said, 'sh*t.'" "Ms. Fickvitch, they said 'sh*t.'" "Who said 'sh*t'?" "My dad says you can't say 'sh*t'." "My dad says 'sh*t' all the time."
15/27. I was a student when this happened, but a friend accidentally said "Octopuses have 8 testicles" instead of "8 tentacles" when reading in a science class. The teacher was having a VERY hard time holding back laughter.
More outrageous student comments that had teachers trying not to laugh on the next page!
16/27. My wife is an elementary art teacher, which basically means constant stories.
My favorite is from a time when kindergarteners were playing with Play-Doh. Class was ending, and one little fella was just standing there, looking down. Wife checks to make sure he's okay, he turns around, showing the little Play-Doh snake he's holding to his crotch and says, "Look! It's a wiener!"
17/27. Our aunt teaches kindergarten. Often, kids are exposed to swearing and profanity at a young age. One time, she asked her students to sit "Criss-cross Applesauce" and one kid wasn't paying attention. His friend next to him whispered, "Hey, criss-cross applesauce motherf*cker!"
Needless to say, my aunt couldn't contain her laughter and had to leave the room for a minute.
18/27. There were three kids that were friends, but ones who, in a high school fashion, enjoyed ribbing on one of the friends as often as possible.
The bell rings, the Ribbed-on-One (R.o.O.) gets to the table first, and has his hood up on his hoodie. Not sure why - I have never understood it, I feel like it restricts my vision. Regardless, there he is, sitting at a table, with his hood up.
The two friends come in through the door and see him. I think they had this planned for a while, because what's next was a shared look and two students jumping into action.
They walk across the room to the table. One pokes R.o.O from behind in the side, and then begins to tickle him.R.o.O leans forward in response, and tries to swat the hands away.
The other friend comes from the side, closest to me, and takes the strings of his hood and yanks them - completely closing the hood. While R.o.O. is still being tickled by the first guy, the second one ties the string to a leg of the table that they sat at.
So, R.o.O is flailing his arms around wildly, while trapped in the hood of his hoodie and tied face-down to the table.
It was over in less than 10 seconds. It was amazing. Probably one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
19/27. I'm in the front of the classroom talking about stoichiometry and balancing reactions. Out of the corner of my eye I see two girls talking to each other and not paying attention to me. The rest of the class was though, so I didn't want to pause the class just to get their attention. I sort of ignore them for the duration of the lecture and keep observing them out of the corner of my eye, waiting for them to look over at me.
One girl shows the other girl her palms like they're about to give each other a double high five while the other was visibly nodding her head in agreement. The second girl then begins to cup her own boobs and then the first girl says something like: "WOW, you're right!" and she moves her hands to the other girl's chest.
(story continued on the next page...)
More hilarious stories on the next page!
At this point I finally catch their eyes and I mouth the words: "WHAT THE F*CK" to them. They immediately sit up straight and they pay attention for the rest of the lesson.
During individual study time I go up to the two of them, and was about to tell them how inappropriate their actions were, especially when surrounded by teenage boys who'd get a raging boner from well...anything. As I'm walking up to them, they take a look at me, look down at my hands, and then begin to freak out and saying: "oh my god" repeatedly. With no advance warning, they then grab my hands and do they whole hand size comparison thing. I'm a lanky six and a half foot tall man with pretty large features. I can palm a basketball.
They then begin explaining how they were talking about how big their hands (or boyfriend's hands) had to be to fully cover their boobs. Not wanting to hear more, I start shaking my head incredulously (what the f*ck?) and begin walking away. Their last remark to me was: "You can get any girl you want with those hands, Mr. Bigtcm!"
Took a ton of willpower not to turn around and smirk.
20/27. I was teaching English to a class of primary school kids. I was teaching them plurals by showing them a slideshow of cartoon monsters ('It has three eyes', 'It has four legs' etc) and getting them to tell me how many limbs and stuff each monster had. One little kid, five years old, got really into it and on one monster shoots his hand in the air and comes out with 'It has one... ANUS!'
I was speechless for a second so he jumped up on his chair, backwards, bends over and starts pointing to his arse shouting 'NO TEACHER! ANUS! IT'S ANUS!'
21/27. Not my story, but my little brother's. When he was in 1st grade, he told his teacher a joke:
Bro: Why did Captain Hook die?
Teacher: I don't know, why?
Bro: Because he wiped with the wrong hand!
Apparently she had to step out of the room for several minutes so she wouldn't be seen laughing at his joke.
22/27. I was a teacher's aide in a third grade classroom. It was the last day of school before Spring break and all the kids were so excited, it's a big party day. We had pizza, watched the muppets movie, and all the kids brought gifts or dessert foods for everyone else. One kid wanted to make personalized bookmarks for the rest of the class. He decided to look around his dad's work place to find something he could use.
In the trashcan there were a bunch of long strips of cardboard. The only thing was the cardboard came from cigarette cartons and his dad worked at a liquor store. So on one side there was a kid's name and cute pictures, on the other was blatant advertising for Marlboro, Pall Mall, Camel, you name it. It was so hard to not laugh when he came up to me and excitedly show them to me. This was my first time working in a classroom and I had no idea what to do, the teacher ended up having me take them to the supply room and laminate them with construction paper covering the other side. We told the kid it would help them last longer.
His bookmarks were everyones favorite gift.
Mine still has the Al Capone logo on the back though.
More hilarious stories on the next page!
23/27. (student waiting late after rehearsal)
Kid calls home: "Hey can you tell mom to pick me up? Oh, she's in the shower... what about dad? He's in the shower too... ?"
Turns to teacher: "It's going to be awhile Mr. M"
24/27. A girl, trying to prove she was worthy of getting into an Advanced Placement Lit class asked me of an essay: "Is it good?! Did I show you my AP-ness?!" (Say it out loud)
25/27. Grade 11, reading Romeo & Juliet aloud.
There's a line at the beginning where a character says "Bring me my long sword, ho!"
My friend got the inflection on the "ho!" completely wrong. He said it with such enthusiasm too, it was hilarious. Our teacher smirked.
26/27. I had a student who had extreme test anxiety. Every time we went to take a test he would throw up. After vomiting he would be fine, but he had to spew everywhere first for stress reduction or something.
I would seat him next to the bathroom and provide a bucket. Now this worked on normal days but during our state testing he would not be able to go to the restroom unless I first called an administrator to escort him.
On the big testing day we practiced breathing techniques, I had a handy vomit bucket for him and we were ready to go. After ten minutes he sure enough looked like he was going to be sick. Except he forgot about the bucket.
He vomits and then tried to hold it in his mouth. He shoved his puke back in his mouth, swallowed and smiled at me and gave me a thumbs-up.
Horrified, yet simultaneously holding back laughter I gave him wipes and a bunch of mints.
The kid did great on the test in the end.
27/27. From when I was teaching preschool:
"You have blue eyes like my mommy, but her tatas are HUGE!"
Uh, thanks, kid.
Curious to hear from those who lived to tell their distressing stories, Redditor mind_guardian asked:
"For survivors of attempted kidnapping. How did you escape?"
The following Redditor had very close calls.
Spontaneous Escape Plan
"Guy at a club and his mix of friends was insistent about coming back to a party, I politely declined. Didn't think much of it. They got increasingly aggressive about it, to a physical extent, and I left. Walking back home, I realized they were following me in their car."
"Dashed down the road through the mid-path of a packed apartment complex and just started yelling like crazy."
"No one actually responded or poked their head out or maybe they just didn't hear me. But it sparked the escape reflex of the creeps and I hid in a bush until my heart slowed down. Jumped the fence of someone's property -risky in its own right- wandered through a field, avoiding the main roads, and circled back to a side-street to home. Lucky I knew the area better than they did."
– Dangercakes13
Offering A Ride Home
"I don't know sure what this was, but i was riding my bike home alone, cutting through a deserted middle school and high school parking lots during the summer time. A man in a station wagon pulled up and offered me a ride home. I never stopped pedaling, just said no I'm fine."
"He pressed several times saying he could fit my bike in his car, it was no big deal. I kept saying no. He gave up and left. Don't know if it was just a genuinely helpful guy (this was the late 70s or early 80s so it wasn't yet completely extinct practice that strangers might offer each other rides) or a potential kidnapper."
– DiligentAdvantage475
Up In The Treehouse
"My mum was always paranoid someone would kidnap us kids from the yard. We used to play outside while she worked from home, we were 10, 8 and 6 at this time. She paid our neighbours teenage daughter to sit in the yard and watch us. Mostly she just ignored us and read a magazine with her headphones on and Walkman playing, but she was nice to us. I remember thinking this was stupid and mum was right there anyway so why did I 'basically a teenage' need to be babysat lol."
"One day we were all up in our tree house being jerks to our babysitter and unplugging her headset cord while she was trying to nap. A man and woman came into the yard via the side gate. They started talking to my youngest sibling trying to get her to climb down. The babysitter screamed for help but no one came. She ended up throwing the ladder from the treehouse over our back fence into her own yard and made us all climb into her yard with her dog who was going insane at the fence."
"We ended up locked in her house and she called the police. My mum didn't hear any of the commotion from inside the house and she won't speak about it even now that we are all adults. Never complained about my babysitter after that though."
– Dark_Valefor
The Creepy Customer
"I don’t remember how old I was, just that I was small enough to fit into the kids seat on a grocery cart. This was the early 90s and my mom had taken me grocery shopping with her. I was sitting in the grocery cart while my mom was focused on picking out produce only a few feet away when an older woman swooped in between us and started pushing the cart away quickly. I recall her smiling at me and trying to make me feel comfortable while also making the 'shh' gesture with her hand."
"I did not feel comfortable and started making enough noise to alert my mom. She ran over and loudly yelled at this stranger that this child was hers. The most chilling part that I still remember was that she didn’t flee the scene and instead made a comment about how cute I was and calmly walked away. Before she disappeared down an aisle she took one last look at me and winked."
– gnophy
People who were actually abducted talked about how they got out of their situation.
The Elderly Hero
"It was the 90s in SE Asia. I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet so my grandma took care of me while my parents were at work. My grandma had a little convenience store and one day 2 men approached her. One was in his 30s and the other was an old short man with white hair. They were carrying those hand weave basket pig cage."
"They asked my grandma if I was for sale. She told them to bugger off. While my grandma was distracted, they snatched me and I was carried away. I was kicking and screaming until they knocked me out. One of the neighbors saw me and alerted my grandma. My grandma rode her bicycle down the main street looking for me. She argued and threatened them to get me back."
"If it wasn’t for my grandma and her stubborn fierceness, I wouldn’t be here. She passed away in 2016. Love you and miss you grandma."
– Sir_Blinklot
Dumb Cabbie
"My wife told me that when she was just a teenager, she got in a cab and the cab driver just abducted her. He didn't take her to her destination, instead he took her to a hotel room. She was really scared but she kind of started playing along a little and pretended that she was interested and into it. Then he lay down on the bed, and she said something like 'Oh, I'm hungry. Can we order a pizza first?' and the cab driver said okay."
"So she picked up the phone, while she was dialing he wasn't paying attention so she disconnected the cable. Then she said, you know, I think the phone is broken. Let me go to the front desk to tell them, and I'll order the pizza while I'm there. So he says, okay sure."
"She went to the front desk and told them what was happening, they called the cops, the cops came and hauled him away."
– humanefly
Fighting For Life
"Was drugged at a small town bar, went to the bartender and asked what drink she had given me. She recited what I had ordered. I told her I asked because I'm not feeling well suddenly and it was like the world was spinning on its head. I sat at my seat because she said she hadn't seen anyone near my table/drink. Cool, whatever."
"It's getting worse and I feeling the worst I've ever felt in my life. I don't really remember what happened but a guy had led me outside and we were getting in a car. I remember hearing 'bracele' and seeing handcuff clink on my tiny a** wrist. My first response was scream, kick, anything. I already felt like vomiting and pooping so in my panic of scream and writhing around (drawing a LOT of attention from a closed car apparently) I stopped for a second and hear 'finally you b*tch' before I vomited all of the back seat, myself, and I threw myself forward to cover him as well."
"At this point I had no control between vomiting and screaming as loud I as could to vomit more, my drugged self was like 'it can't get worse for me' and I literally pulled my pants down and shat as my body saw fit. Guy never left the parking lot because of the commotion I raised."
"I remember hearing people banging on the windows and the guy freaking out, so I started screaming 'help' the best I could. The guy was arrested and charged with attempted kidnapping and drugging me with meth and fet that they found on his person. Blessed be the big man 'mike' who carried my vomit poop cover self to the gym (next to the bar) where they let me shower and change."
– totallyoriginalacct
The Ultimate Betrayal
"My best friend tricked me into hanging out with her after I moved to another coast to be closer to her. Once I got there she introduced me to her 'friend' then slipped out of the house. When i asked about it he laughed and said 'you really thought she was your friend? She owes me money and you’re her payment. I’ve known about you for months. None of this was coincidental' then proceeded to pull up pics of me and conversations between them two."
"After a lot of initial crying and begging I told him I needed to go to her house to get my stuff and my phone. He told me he would get me all new stuff and I didn’t need it. Why would I go back to her. I immediately told him that he was right. I didn’t wanna go back to her. That he really saved me from her cause what kind of friend would sell me to someone. I told him that he was gonna take care of me and I knew that. I just needed my phone to let my parents know I was okay and wouldn’t see them for a bit or they’d get worried and file a report."
"After much convincing he agreed to let me go to her house around the corner to grab my stuff and come back. I took off running once I got around the corner. Had to take 2 busses and 2 trains to get home. I haven’t had a close friend since."
– [deleted]
These Redditors recalled making a run for it before anything bad could happen.
Declining An Invitation
"When I was 8 years old (f) I had just moved to a new house that was directly across the street from the school I would be starting in just a month or two. I would sometimes go to the school and play by myself for a bit. One time I was headed back home when I was approached and surrounded by a group of boys in their early teens. They told me to come hang out at their house. I shook my head and tried to run home but was blocked. The second oldest pulls out a $20 and tells me that I can have it once we get to their house. I think for a moment and decline again but am blocked again from leaving. My heart is racing and I keep looking longingly at my house."
"The boy with the money holds it out to me and says to take it and he'll give me another $20 at the house, it's in his wallet, he forgot it. The oldest chimes in telling me I would be able to buy a LOT of candy with that money. I hesitate, and start to reach my hand out to take the money and then see my chance to run between two of the boys and escape. They yelled and tried to grab me but I made it home."
"I saw some of them on occasion but I always stayed far away and they seemed to have forgotten about me. I later learned that the house they were trying to take me to belonged to a drug addicted mother who was rarely home and her son's just did whatever they wanted."
– CMaya2006
Teacher "Dad"
"I was 12 and some guy was walking towards me after school. He said, 'Hey there kiddo, You remember me, don't you!? Mom told me to take you home!' I thought, 'B*tch, that's the oldest trick in the book!' My parents told me if this ever happened, one thing I could do was run to the nearest adult and yell 'Mom, Mom' or 'Dad, Dad' So that's what I did."
"A teacher was walking into the school and I said, 'Oh Dad, there you are!' The guy got TF outta there. I explained to the teacher why I did what I did. We didn't get his plate number sadly enough."
– SMG4-Is-My-God
"It Only Takes A Second"
"When I was very little my dad took my sister and I on a river camping trip for a few days. We got to the little rural town at the end of the river where a buddy left our truck and trailer at the boat launch for us. My sister was old enough to sort of help dad with loading the boat (hold rope so it doesn’t float away while we back up etc) but I was too little to really do much so I started wandering around looking for stuff. I found a dead bumblebee and I really loved bumblebees so I decided to bury it in a little grave to pay respects. I found a patch of flowers near the edge of the boat launch, by the woods. I’m crouched down, completely absorbed by my trying to make a little cross for a headstone out of two twigs and a bit of grass, when suddenly I hear my dad’s deep, booming voice scream."
“HEY!!!”
"He was a good ten yards away from me but it was so loud I could feel it in my chest and I jump and spun around towards him. He is already halfway to me, running. His face looks scary. He looks so mad, so focused, and he’s looking over my shoulder instead of at me. I run over to him, no idea what’s happening but scared that I’d at least get in trouble if I didn’t go over to him right away. He picks me up and puts both me and my sister into the truck to finish loading by himself."
"Apparently a man tried to take me. I never even knew he was there. Dad caught sight of him just as he began lunging towards me and scared him off. I wouldn’t have known until I was already gone if he hadn’t been so aware."
"Watch your kids, it only takes a second."
– CopsaLau
A Convenient Tool
"I was about 7 at the time, and at that time i thought it was cool to carry a pocket knife, well, one day i was riding my bike, and a man knocked me over covering my mouth, i grabbed my knife and stabbed him in the side and ran inside crying."
– Toaster_Ruler
Listen To Your Gut
"I was 19 walking to work in the early hours of the morning in winter. I knew someone was following me for a little while and I was just praying I was making it up. Suddenly all the sh*t I have even been taught about self defence came forward. He grabbed me and pulled me."
"There was a moment when I turned to look at him and he laughed and it was at this point I pissed my pants. I was walking as close to the road as I physically could without being on it and I pushed my head down and then threw it back as quickly as I could."
"He fell and I ran in the middle of the road with my armsout screaming. Flagged down to cars. It was a very scary moment in my life and taught me a harsh lesson. Listen to your gut, even if you've done something 100 times if you don't feel safe you're not safe."
– Ok_Talk_90
These and hundreds of other examples on this Reddit thread reflect the sad reality of the horrors of the crime that still happen to this day.
Hopefully, what the survivors did to flee from their traumatizing situations can be a useful reminder to always stay vigilant, whether it is for yourself or your children.
And when all else fails, always scream and fight for your life before the situation can get any worse.
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Interesting points were brought up when Redditor onegrayhair asked:
"What culinary hill are you willing to die on?"
People shared cooking tips and how some foods should be prepared a certain way.
Poor Construction
"Nachos should be built wide not tall."
– DBroncos515
"I hate when the chips at the bottom don’t have all the cheese and toppings, but the chips on top have too much. Balance is key to a great plate of nachos!"
– yo_kashlee
Jaws Have Limitations
"We need to make burgers wider not taller."
– John_Lives
"If I have to disassemble a burger to eat it, it’s missing the point, isn’t it?"
– JediTigger
Just Let It Stew
"Homemade chili is almost always better the next day."
– burritokiller1971
"And most soups and stews."
– wjglenn
Add Some Zap
"Worcestershire sauce can work magic."
– dberis
Resourcefulness
"Being poor isn’t a culinary crime. It takes talent to make cheap food taste as good as my mom did."
– urbancowgirl42
People had plenty to say about rating recipes.
Unfair Critique
"When you're baking from an online recipe, don't change three or four ingredients "to make it healthy" and then leave a one star review about how bad it is."
– cliff99
Inaccurate Reviews
"Don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This was a great recipe... after I made these 10 changes!' At that point, you're not rating that person's recipe, you are rating YOUR OWN recipe. That person's recipe must not have been so good if you had to make so many changes."
"Also, don't leave a 5-star review on someone's recipe while saying 'This recipe looks great, I can't wait to try it!' Why skew the ratings when you haven't even tried it yet?"
– randomentity1
Snobbery Is Tasteless
"Being snobby about food to the point where you're hindering someone else's enjoyment is not a positive personality trait."
– swordcowboy
Taste Buds Don't Lie
"If it tastes good it tastes good."
– Danielwols
Some questioned others' capabilities in the kitchen while others straight up forbade them from doing something that is unfavorable.
The Complaint
"People who hate cooking with stainless steel don’t know how to cook with stainless steel."
– 3Me20
There's A Dress Code
"DON’T WEAR YOUR APRON INTO THE BATHROOM."
– andre3kthegiant
"I've called people out for doing this. It's disgusting. This isn't a hill to die on, this should be common sense. People be dumb."
– Aldayne
Cross-Contamination–Bad
"I had to call a girl out again for putting a container of raw meat on a cold station."
"She complained that I 'always call her out on that.'"
"Yeah no sh*t, you're the only one tryna catch state health code write ups.'
"e/ she saw the post and I made her cry, oops."
– ChefBoredAreWe
Don't Interrupt The Cook
"Get out of the kitchen if I'm cooking. Out out out I don't want your help."
– Justice171
Not All Salads Are Good For You
"I live in the Midwest, I love the Midwest but just because you call something a salad does not mean it is healthy and an acceptable side dish to your main course. Snicker-marshmallow-mayo-whatever is not salad."
– ArachnesChallenge
I don't consider myself a cook, but I do pat myself on the back for some of the dishes I do know how to make well.
One of those is Japanese curry. And while I can't keep from serving and eating what takes at least an hour-and-a-half to make, I do find that my leftover tastes infinitely better the next day.
I make a HUGE batch of curry sauce so I can continue enjoying it for the next few days. There's something about leaving it in the fridge and heating up portions at a time that really activate the spices.
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