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18 People Share The Best 'Don't Tell Your Mother' Moments They Had With Their Dads.

This article is based on the AskReddit question "What was your 'Don't tell your mother' moment with your dad?"

If you're interested to read more, check out the sources at the end of the article.



1/18. One day in grade school, maybe grade 5 or 6, my dad came unexpectedly into the classroom early in the morning. He looked upset. He talked to the teacher for a minute, then walked over to me.

He whispered, "look upset. We're going skiing. Don't tell your mother."

-isomr

2/18. I once wondered why Dad was spending so much time away from home when he was off work. He always used to be home reliably when work got out.

Then one day I noticed his truck parked on a more rural road not far from a friend's house. What I discovered was that he was back there in a "wood mill" type place, using a wood-splitter machine to cut logs into different sizes.

He made me promise not to tell Mom that he was earning extra money doing this part-time work to save up money to take her on an anniversary trip she had dreamed of, but which he couldn't afford on the salary from his regular job.

-Back2Bach

3/18. My dad owns/is the president of a fairly large company he started right out of college. When I was young, he travelled internationally a lot still trying to establish the company. For a few years when I was probably 7-10ish, he was gone probably 15 days a month on average - sometimes more, sometimes less. My mom was pretty strict about what we were allowed to watch (movies and tv) up until I was about 14-15. So naturally, I would hear my friends at school talk about all the cool movies they watched and it sucked.

One night my dad got home from the airport and told my mom that he had to go to the office to finish up some work and that he was going to take me with him since I hadn't seen him in a few days. So we got in the car and started driving to his office. On the way, we stopped and got a pizza. Then he pulled into the block buster parking lot and went into the store. He came back out and put the bag in the trunk and said he had a surprise. When we got to his office, we went into the conference room and he showed me what he got at blockbuster: a 2L bottle of soda (which I wasn't supposed to have), one of those huge popcorn buckets (mom didn't want us to eat microwave popcorn either), and the first Pirates of the Caribbean (again, not supposed to watch that). So we had a movie night on the projector in the conference room with pizza and popcorn. We started doing that 2 or 3 times a month for the next couple years - pig out on junk food and watch movies that my dad wanted to see but my mom wouldn't let me watch with him. To this day she still has no idea we did any of that.

-pickmetoo

4/18. When I was four or five years old, my mom wouldn't let me watch The Wizard of Oz. She was concerned that the flying monkeys would traumatize me, so she barred me from watching it. That's why, while she was gone one day, my Dad and I watched a movie.

Jurassic Park.

-lolleaves


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5/18. When I was a kid my dad and I were in the garage working on a car and he told me to go get him a beer. I ran back to the garage with it, looked at him, opened the can and took a swig - then gave it to him. He looked at me, smiled approvingly, and said "just don't tell your mother.

-Wolverine_007

6/18. When I had my drivers permit my dad was supposed to help teach me to drive. He had me drive him everywhere and teaching me consisted of him leaning the seat back, turning the radio on low volume, and napping until we got to our destination. I remember the first day it happened he just said "I'm supposed to be monitoring you closely and keeping an eye on every move you make, but I'm tired. You'll be fine. Just don't speed. And your mom doesn't need to know I'm asleep or she'll kill us both."

What dad doesn't know is when my brother got his permit last year, mom's way of teaching him to drive was the same concept.

-minnneon

7/18. When I was about seven, my Mum bought a cheap blender for the kitchen, it was one of those ones where the blending thingie points downward, you have to insert the jug from the front, and its design in such a way that you can basically put any old cup in there and it will still work. Mum was very strict in that we were not allowed to use just any cup, we had to use the special blender jug. Dad hated that thing because it was a pain to clean.

Soon, the day came when mum was out, and I asked my dad if I could make a milkshake. He chucked all the ingredients straight into the milkshake cup and stuck that into the blender. I, being a bit of a snot, reminded him that we had to use the special jug, because Mum said so. Dad replied, that "Well, Dad can do it this way, because Dad said so" then promptly turned the blender on, and sent milk, chocolate, banana and ice cream splattering all over the kitchen ceiling.

-AspieSquared

8/18. When I was young my mom sometimes visited her mother for a week or so by herself. When she left, my father took us "impulse shopping" at the grocery store and we would live for the week on whatever my dad, my brother and I picked out. I remember subsisting on liverwurst and gummy bears.

-swenkortig

9/18. My dad used to drive me to my flute lessons across town every Wednesday evening. On our way back home every week, we'd stop at Baskin Robbins and he'd let me get a double scoop in a waffle cone and we'd sit inside, take our time, and talk. It was a really special thing since both my parents worked two jobs and had to chauffeur around two high school aged kids to various functions/activities. Getting to spend one on one time with either of my parents was a rare and fortunate thing.


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The thing was, they both worked two jobs because we weren't that well off, so weekly stops at Baskin Robbins was a splurge thing and I wasn't to tell my mom or my brother about it.

Schedules flipped around about a year later and my mom was the one to take me to flute lessons and she'd always get good junk food from the gas station (easy cheese and wheat thins or potato wedges) and we'd eat in the car and talk. Neither parent knew the other spoiled me on Wednesdays.

-Caladriel

10/18. My dad was teaching me how to skate in our apartment's parking lot and me, being the overly confident 9 year old, thought it would be great to skate down the lot's steepest hill. Dad encouraged, child approved.

So I took the hill and I ate shit. Hard. Landed straight on my elbows and knees.

Now, my dad didn't believe in elbow and knee pads (and nor do I to this day because I'm stupid) but let me tell you, I was scuffed up pretty bad. Now here's context...

For years, after watching her daughter and husband get hurt by dumb shit, my mom hated any sign of what we called "fun". After rough checking for broken bones, I got out of my state of shock and started to weep softly at my bloody arms and legs. My dad thought I was okay to walk so we slowly walk up stairs to our apartment and my dad sits me on the steps.

In slight horror and mass confusion I watched this man take the blood off my elbows and knees and wipe it on my face (Think Sylvester Stalone football player mvp style.). Only thing it took to shut me up and never tell my mom was that

"I was a warrior. And warriors don't tell mom."

So i never told mom.

-docturmishii

11/18. Back when I was at school I had a habit of lashing out at people who picked on me. Good for avoiding bullying after a few times, bad for having friends and not being called a psycho.

Older boy came up behind me and poured a drink on my head. I responded by turning around and punching him repeatedly in the face. Devolved into usual schoolboy scuffling until he ran off after seeing a teacher coming.

I got into trouble as he definitely got the worst of it, but got off the hook as he was older and had a history of bullying. Ended up just being sent home to my parents. My mum was at work and my dad was working from home, so he took the call and met me coming in.

I was terrified what would happen (the times I'd fought before that my mum had come down on me hard, as she was the strict one), but the only conversation was "Did you start it?" No. "Did you finish it?" Yes. "Did he deserve it?" Yes. "Let's go watch TV. Don't tell mum."

Love that man.

-Koras


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12/18. The time I saw Braveheart in the movies, despite being a kid. The time I first set off a firework. The time I and my father got into a mini brawl at the Meadowlnds. My first visit to a strip club. My first drink. My first drink at a bar. My first porn magazine. the time he bought me my first package of condoms. The time he was teaching me how to drive and told me to bury the needle in the red. Literally any moment I spent with my dad out of my moms vision.

-Audavar

13/18. My dad died when I was 12 years old, but one of my favorite memories of him was a "don't tell your mother."

I was probably about 6 or 7 years old at the time, and he worked as a bus driver for out local public transit. He owned a Suzuki Madura and used to ride it into work on good weather days.

He used to take me into work with him from time to time and I would ride the bus with him all day. So the first time he decided to ride his motorcycle in with me my mother told him to take me down the slower streets and not the interstate.

I woke up super early with him and he proceeded to ask me "Do you want to take the slow way? Or the really fast way?" Naturally I wanted to go the fast way, so he told me never to tell my mom.

Every time after that we would blaze down I-95 to his job with me hanging on tight to his back. I remember my helmet clanking into his and having the time of my life. I now own my own bike, and can't wait to get it fixed up.

I really miss my dad.

-CajunPlatypus

14/18. When, after several hours of failure and frustration and having to send me to bed half way through the set up, my Dad sneaking upstairs to wake 11 year old me up just after midnight with the simple phrase

I got the new Playstation working! Come and have a go, but shush, your mum is in bed!

First game we booted up was Alien Trilogy. THOSE GRAPHICS MAN!

-theCleversleazoid

15/18. My mother had to move away for a year for job related reasons. I remember clearly that she sat my father down in the kitchen (who up until that point had been the one too work more and had been around less) and told him exactly what the rules were for us kids. One of them was "being in bed by 9pm"

As soon as she was out the door my father turned to me and said: "Children of the Corn is on tonight, you want to watch it?" It was on at 2am and the first horror movie i watched (I was 11). Luckily I loved it and horror movie nights became our secret thing to do when my mother wasn't around.

-Vee-The-Bee


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16/18. When I was 13, LOTR:FOTR was being released. There are really no words to describe how excited I was for this film, and I begged my parents to take me to the midnight showing. It turned out that I had some sort of standardized testing the next day, so it was out of the question.

I remember my dad making a big deal out of how everyone had to go to bed early so I could be well rested for my test. I was furious, lying there wondering what the movie would be like. Slowly I slipped into my own dreams of Middle Earth.

Suddenly, I was shaken awake. "Mom's asleep. I've got the tickets. Let's go...quietly."

Best night of my life. I did fine on my exam, I still made it to a good college and got a real job and all that. I don't know if my mom figured it out, but at that point my parents were often sleeping in separate rooms, so it is possible we got away with it.

-gambolier

17/18. My dad and myself got some pretty sweet gas powered RC cars for Christmas. I was 13 at the time, and I mentioned to my father "Dad, It would be really awesome if we took some wood and made a ramp off the back of the truck."

So my father's response? "Let's wait until your mother's gone for work."

Fast forward 20 minutes, mom's gone off to work. And we've set up the holy mother of all RC ramps up the back of the truck and were launching these RC cars over the house. Both found it really hilarious, until I messed up and didn't hit the jump fast enough. Ended up sending it through the window.

Dad's response as he looks at his watch. "Guess what kid? Your going to learn how to replace a window today before your mom gets home..."

Six hours later, received one of the many life lessons from my Dad. He was such a cool cat, we have many stores like this. So many.

-Snowycricket

18/18. When I was a teenager I did a stupid stunt and landed myself 3 days in local ICU with a massive concussion.

It was right before summer vacation and I hit my skull so hard the doctors advised no bike riding, skateboarding or swimming for 3 months. As a 17 year old kid with no drivers licence yet all my forms of transportation minus walking were not available too me.

One night my dad has a few beers and gets hungry. It's like close to midnight and everywhere that can deliver close by is closed. He knew a local bar was open with some great chicken wings. Told him it was a great idea but he was drunk and could not drive. His idea bike ride, it was only maybe 5 miles from our house and his logic is if we stick to back roads and I wear a helmet everything will be fine, and not tell my mother. After a month and a half of being home bound I was okay with this

We leave and HE'S the one that hits a parked car, twice. Once on the way there and once back, same car too. He was right the chicken wings were great but when we got back home my mother woke up and figured out we left and how we got there. She wasn't happy but worth it.

-safeforworkreddit


(Source 1), (Source 2)


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Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.