It is universally understood that an invitation to someone's home is an honor.
Whether it is a family member or a friend, a guest entering a person's private property should treated it with the utmost respect.
Or at least you would think.
There is always the reckless child who is left unsupervised and "accidentally" destroys a precious tchotchke, or the clumsy friend who spills red wine all over your white couch while mildly tipsy.
And owning a white couch is neither here nor there, so don't ask me why I'm still bitter about that "hypothetical" party foul.
Wondering about the manner in which house guests have made messy exits, Redditor itzzyoboijg asked:
Deep Fried Floor
"Had a friend who stayed over after a drunken night out, he decided in the middle of the night that he wanted some potato waffles (fair enough) and he wanted them deep-fried (fair enough), but somehow he managed to knock the fryer off the counter and tip the manky oil all over the kitchen floor. He then left without telling anyone what had happened."
"First I knew of it was when I nearly broke my ankle slipping in the grease the next morning. It took hours to clean and the kitchen smelt like a chipshop until we moved out."
Permanent House Guests
"The worst guests are the ones who don't leave."
"I have a friend who does this. He's a good friend and understands when you say "i gotta go". But he doesn't know when he should go home. Once he stayed in my place until 12. I was tired af and just wanted to sleep, and kept making hints as to not directly say it. But he didn't take the hint lol
"Personally, it was when family members' children broke items in my home. Every time, the children didn't say a word about breaking anything, so my siblings and I would find them after they left. When confronting the children, they usually admit to breaking them, but the parents still denied responsibility and that their child could do no harm."
"It seems minor, but it can get really annoying finding broken toys/glass/objects/etc. in your home, worrying about if it's all of it, and not being able to show sadness/anger when some of the items that were broken had sentimental value to you."
The Keurig Cup Incident
"College student here who lives in a pretty nice house with 4 other people."
"One of my roommates would consistently have friends over who would trash the place. Track dirt through the house cause they didn't take their shoes off, would drink and leaves cans and bottles all over the floor, left McDonald's half eaten burgers on the couch. Basically treated the place like a garbage can."
"The final straw for them coming over was hiding my other roommates Keurig cups around the house. They never let us know where they all were so one day we went to heat the oven up not knowing there was one in there and the plastic melted all in the oven."
"The house smelt like sh*t for the rest of the day. They were not allowed over after that."
"Had some people over for a small party, including the new guy at work. All's good, everyone has fun, including new guy who gets behind quite a few drinks and by 1:00 AM is down for the count. No problem, happy to have him stay, we get him moved into the spare bedroom to sleep it off."
Next day I'm up cleaning up and new guy comes out of the bedroom, looking a little rough. I ask him how he is, he mumbles that he's okay but has a headache and needs to leave. Offer him breakfast, he says no, he has some important stuff to do and splits. I glance in the bedroom, see he's kind of made the bed, figure I'll get the sheets off it and wash them later. I get dressed and head out."
"Come back a few hours later and go into the spare bedroom and notice a smell - peel back the covers to see that dude had puked all over the bed, I mean he f'king painted it. Then he just pulled up the covers and left. No f'king responsibility, didn't even tell me, just left my spare bed and mattress to ferment in his raunchy puke."
"Got to work on Monday, told him he's a total f'king a**hole and he owes me for new sheets, in front of the whole department. Made him pay up, then told him not to talk to me again. It pretty much killed his relationship with the whole team, he left a few months later."
"Fast Food Bathroom Blowups"
"Less a voluntary guest and more had a company guy over to look at one of my appliances. He asked if he could use the bathroom and I was a little wary but I'm not a monster who forces techs to drive up the street to the gas station to take a crap so I said go ahead."
"I'm pretty sure after he went back outside to finish working, I could hear the toilet softly weeping from behind the closed door. My guy just completely demolished my porcelain with doodoo. It was early morning, so I guess me being the first appointment of the day meant my bathroom was on the receiving end of some morning coffee stomach distress. It was like one of those fast food bathroom blowups you sometimes walk into when you go there for lunch and have to pee. Just...in my personal bathroom."
"I just kind of...quietly backed out and closed the door. He finished working and after he left I put some gloves and a mask on and solemnly went in to clean up because it's the only bathroom in my house. When I got the bill I kind of wanted to ask if there was a 'toilet destroyer' discount I could get but I didn't want to embarrass anyone."
"The worst was a house guest of several days who let our indoor cat outside while we were at work."
"We had told him that the only 'house rule' was never to let the cat out as he's an indoors only cat (has never been outside on his own)."
"This guy actually thought it was somehow 'amusing' that we were so upset over our lost cat. The guest was ushered out immediately, never to be heard from again."
"With my debit card. Seriously just 3 nights ago a friend I had met when I moved to this neighborhood last year took it out of my wallet and left while I was in the bathroom. Thank God for text notifications and the allow card transactions button in my bank's app."
Unsanitary Store Guest
"Once a motherf'ker didn't wash his f'kin hands after using the bathroom, i sent him to do so but refused to by saying his d!ck was cleaner than most of my stuff, then he went on to touch everything, he went from friend to customer to a customer i charge extra because after he comes i have to deep clean."
Old Enough To Know Better
"A friend of a now-ex gf was down on his luck and I decided to throw him a few bones. We wanted to go to renfest and go on a weeklong mead fueled bender, so I asked him to housesit for a week. I paid him cash up front, loaded the fridge with good food, gave him a generous Walmart gift card to help him with his wardrobe (his clothes were in tatters), and even paid to get his acoustic guitar fixed."
"After a week we came back to find the house was strewn with clothes, all of the food in my fridge was untouched and going bad, and he and his buddies had spent the money on hot pockets, soda and video games. barely any of the wrappers, boxes, and cans made it into the trash because he didn't empty the garbage when it filled up. There was a new stench in the house that took a carpet steaming session to get rid of. The dude was in his mid thirties."
Cigarettes And Sh*t
"My mom's brother and his wife came to stay with us for a few months when we were kids. It was already shitty that my sister and I got forced out of our room to make way for them, but these motherf****** completely trashed it. After months of sleeping on the couch we come back in and it's almost unfit to inhabit. The walls are stained with nicotine, there's cigarette burns in our mattresses, ash and mummified cat shit was embedded in the carpet! We had to sleep in the living room again for an extra month while our room aired out and it still smelled like cigarettes and shit for the rest of the year."
Damage Done In An Hour
"I have a buddy who takes no responsibility for anything he does. We don't invite places. He is funny and charming but literally insane when it comes to his own fault in things.He came over to my house once with his dog while I was out. I was gone for maybe an hour and I came back and he had accidentally thrown a baseball through my window and his dog chewed up a couch cushion. When I asked if he was going to pay for the window or fix my couch and he said it was my fault for inviting him over and left."
Hard To Hate
"A friend of mine brought a new friend over. Who proceeded to run around into rooms he shouldn't have been in. We caught him eating leftovers off the table. He left trash everywhere. And even ripped up my tennis ball. Needless to say he eventually became my best friend and is a good pupper."
Why We Stay Away From Meth
"I Invited a distant friend into my house for a few weeks while they were moving to my state. Instead of finding a place of his own, his tactic was to find a vulnerable woman who would let him move in with her for free. (D*ck & drugs was rent $ in his mind)"
"He started bringing strange women into my home without my knowledge, to have sex. I caught him abusing one of these poor women in a drug rage. Reason: She refused sex after he got her high. I told them both to leave my house and not come back. He decided this was a great moment to tell me that 'his room' was 'his domain.' I disagreed. I threatened to call the cops on them both and they left quickly. His room was disgusting.
"I ended the friendship immediately with no remorse. I casually monitored his social media and watched him breeze through four more unfortunate women. Using them up completely until they upset him. A con man in the truest sense."
"He died a few months after I kicked him out, in a drug influenced auto accident..."
People hard up for cash will do anything. But what about the other way around?
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
"I rented my chicken to a photographer for fifty bucks."
Gotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Everyone talks about how the 20s are supposed to be the time of our lives. And that's largely true. But it's not all wine and roses.
Among all the freedom and youthful exuberance, so many people spend that decade struggling through the chaos of having absolutely no idea what their passion is.
And when we've internalized the desire to find an occupation that aligns with our values, sounds cool to talk about, and provides us with existential fulfillment, it can be difficult to identify the perfect fit.
So we hum along rather aimlessly.
Thankfully, some people do find their vocation and hunker down. But for others, it takes a little longer.
Perhaps struggling to locate that ideal passion, Redditor wibly_wobly_kid asked:
"People who discovered their passion at a later stage of life, what is it and how did you figure it out?"
Many people talked about making a career switch when they least expected. For the longest time, they new they didn't enjoy their work, but they didn't know what to do instead.
Hiding In Plain Sight
"I went to college twice in my early 20s for journalism and communications, but never graduated. I spent the rest of my 20s in a dead end food service job, miserable and angry at myself. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life"
"My extended family has lots of little ones (cousins having cousins) and every time there was a family get together, I always found myself playing with and entertaining the kids. One day, my uncle pointed out how good I was with kids, and did I ever consider working with them? I laughed it off but later thought 'hey, I have nothing better going on. What's the harm in researching a bit?' "
"I found out I could become an early childhood educator, working in daycares or kindergarten classes. So I applied to a couple of colleges and got in right away (applied on a Monday and got accepted the Friday). I quit my dead-end job and focused entirely on school. I made the dean's list all 4 semesters (something I have never done), and aced all my classes."
"I had a placement at a daycare/before and after school card place, and they hired me right after I finished my placement. So now I'm working there and happier than I ever was in my 20s"
Never Too Late
"Law. I was 45 when I went back to school. I'd worked blue collar jobs all my life, was a high school dropout. My daughter started taking paralegal classes and I thought, 'I could do that.' "
"So I got my GED and signed up for a 2-year paralegal certificate program through the local community college. Fell in love with law. Also discovered I was good at it. I had several professors who were lawyers tell me I'd be wasted as a paralegal and should go to law school."
"So I transferred to a 4-year school. Worked full time through undergrad and graduated with honors. Got into law school. I graduated law school at 55, oldest in my class. But I'd gone from being a high school dropout to a lawyer in just 10 years."
"Passed the California bar first try and I've been a public defender ever since, which is the only thing I ever wanted to do with it. I'm 60 now but I'm healthy and energetic and have a lot of years left. I love what I do, I'm very good at it, and it's the best move I ever made."
Every Week an Achievement
"Was 39 when I took a temp job in a social services type industry. Just basic stuff."
"Realised after a couple of years that I'd circled back to my idealistic 17yo self's plan for my career. Spent the previous 20 working sh** jobs I hated."
"Turns out it's really important to do something that aligns with your values. Finish the week feeling like I've contributed to society, rather than working to screw people for money."
Others discussed the passions they've discovered outside of their working life. These won't bring home any income, but their importance to life satisfaction cannot be understated.
"My dad discovered his life's biggest passion at 67. Mountain climbing. Serious mountaineering."
"He climbed Kilimanjaro and Whitney just months apart."
Plenty More Shredding In Store
"I started Rollerskating (on ramps) just before I turned 40 , it's never too late to start, you just need more safety gear :)"
"I've been doing it for years now I'm in my mid 40s and still rollin. It makes me a bit sad I didn't start when I was younger, but I reckon i've got another ten years left in me."
Moving the Needle On Women's Pockets
"Sewing/tailoring clothes. On a whim I took a class at a local community center and got hooked. After learning some basics in the class and following some YouTube videos I can make a passable pair of pants/trousers and basic shirts. I'm lucky that my local library had sewing machines you could check out so I didn't need to commit any real money early on."
"The best thing to come out of learning this new skill was making a pair of pants with actual pockets for my wife. Guys, you have not seen joy until you see your wife get a pair of functional custom pants with human-sized pockets. I thought her head was going to explode she was so happy."
Keep an Ear Out for Jingles
"I always wanted to learn an instrument that wasn't academic related."
"Over COVID lockdown I picked up the guitar."
"I picked it up pretty quick. So I learned the drums."
"Now I'm finishing building a music studio. I wanna write commercial jingles and just throw a bunch of sh** online for fun"
Unexpected, But Sounds Awesome
"I'm 31, but one year ago I discovered camels. Now I own three. I love them 🥰" -- ZhenHen
"I assume you are not talking about cigarettes, so how does one acquire not only one but three camels? Where do you live? How much did they cost? I'm very intrigued." -- dufresne90
"When you're into camels, every day is Hump Day." -- HolIerer
And a few put a finer point on the nature of that work vs. hobbies dynamic. They assured that one's professional career doesn't necessarily have to provide all the fulfillment they're looking for.
Sometimes, we just need to punch the clock.
Earning Free Time
"PSA: you don't have to be passionate about your job. Your passion can be a hobby you do in your free time. I don't think I will ever find a vocational passion."
"Used to think I was broken because of that but really there is no requirement to be head over heels about what puts money on the table and food in the pocket!"
Career's Moving, Still Painting
"Late 40s here. Got a book called Learn to Draw in 30 Days about 4 years ago. Then about 3 years ago I heard about #the100daychallenge where the goal is to create art every day for 100 days. I never stopped and made it a goal to hit 1000 days."
"In that time, I won contests, got about two hundred commissions, raised over $5000 for a charity, and had a great time. When I hit the 1000 days back in December, I decided to go back to college and get an art degree. I signed up for classes and talked with my manager at work to see how much they would pay for college, she was excited that I was going to get a business degree and said she'd work on getting all of the classes covered."
"Free college became too tempting to pass up so now I'm planning on getting the business degree and then on to law school because they'll pay for that too. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 and I'm on day 1136 of my non-stop painting journey."
So if you're still looking around for your passion and feeling discouraged, rest assured that it might come your way when you least expect it.
And life is long, my friends.
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Don't disturb my beauty sleep! That's the one rule I have––and thankfully I live alone, so there isn't anyone to bother me, which is fabulous. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to getting woken up in the middle of the night. The worst way I can think of off the top of my head? The time a drunk guy wandered into my friend's yard and started banging on the window while I was trying to sleep. It was 3 a.m. The incident also gave me the fright of my life!
People told us about the experiences that yanked them out of dreamland after Redditor GratefulD_86 asked the online community,
"What is the worst way you've been woken up?"
"By raw sewage pouring through my ceiling (in my bedroom) from my upstairs neighbor.
He partied and ripped the toilet out of the floor, then continued using it. Took maintenance almost 16 hours to show up and turn off the flow."
"I literally didn't even know..."
"Cops beating on my door to search my house for someone I was hiding. I literally didn't even know the person."
Terrifying. This could have ended very badly.
"Cops busted down my door..."
"Cops busted down my door to take me to jail for having meth except. They had the wrong house."
"Neighbor decided to hang shelves in her bathroom after midnight and drilled into our shared wall. Scared the crap out of me."
The walls do indeed have ears.
"The phone woke me up..."
"The phone woke me up a little after midnight. I was informed that my mother had died. It was not totally unexpected. Her health had been declining.
I still dread hearing the phone ring late at night."
"A cockroach entering my mouth on my first day of camp."
"Police department knocking..."
"Police department knocking on my door at 2 a.m. saying the meth lab across the street might blow up so we needed to get out ASAP."
Is this a deleted episode of Breaking Bad?
"My cats were chasing each other..."
"My cats were chasing each other and one ran across my face while I was sleeping. The scratches were pretty bad all across one side of my face. It was the day before my senior prom too, so I ended up having a scratched-up face for that. I still have a scar right by my eye."
Cats are always at their most unpredictable very late at night!
"My Dad would keep a bag of marbles in the freezer. If you didn't wake up the first time, he dumped them into your bed."
"The neighbor in the building across from us..."
"Glass shattering. Lived in a 6 story apartment building. The neighbor in the building across from us was having some kind of psychotic break and was throwing everything he could get his hands on off his balcony. He was aiming for the windows of other apartments. We were far enough away to not get hit but watching that go down was not super fun."
We don't envy anyone of these people. Hopefully their lives have been filled with plenty of glorious, uninterrupted sleep since.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love food! Maybe a little too much. It's been an especially amorous relationship over this pandemic. And I know I'm not alone.
All of our palettes are tuned to our own personal tastes. And sometimes certain items and combinations of tastes can leave others less than enticed.
I've lost track of all the side-eye I've gotten when I declare how much I enjoy PINEAPPLE on pizza. I said it. I meant it. Fight me. Let's discuss who else has eclectic tastes.
Redditor u/CatVideoFest wanted to discuss the mixing of certain ingredients that don't leave the best taste in one's mouth by asking:
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!Mom Smile GIFGiphy
"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzlebacon GIFGiphy
"I do not like bacon."
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
Blasphemy!golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
"Cheesecake is disgusting."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slimeman oyster GIFGiphy
"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...
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