If 2019 has taught us anything, it's that men are the worst.
It turns out that most men and women agree. Men have forced themselves into power since the dawn of time and in order to keep that power, they uphold oppressive structures and singularly oppress others themselves.
But is that the worst part about being a man? Maybe not. Maybe below all that dark, deep history, there are even worse things about being a man.
u/canadianreject565 asked:
Women of Reddit, what do you think would be the worst thing about being a man?
Here is some of that speculation.
The Patriarchy Made This Problem
Giphy
Having to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation. Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunken-ness. That's a lot of pressure.
All Of Life Ain't A Tennessee Williams Play
I would think it would be being expected to do all the heavy lifting. To me, as a 64 year old woman, I do my best to move things on my own. If I must ask for help, I make sure my helpers are well compensated with cold tasty beverages and snacks/food.
Just because you're a male doesn't mean it's your legacy to be a physical work horse.
Being Emotional Is Encouraged
Emotional unavailability of others.
As a woman, I definitely face a lot of hardships that men don't have to deal with. But when I'm at my point of breaking, sobbing and inconsolable, I know I can message one of my friends (usually one of the girls) and cry and bitch to them about it and they will listen to me and really connect with me.
They will tell me how sh*tty the person who did that is, how difficult it must be to deal with, how strong I am for persevering in the face of adversity.
On the other hand, I've spent my life trying to be a non-judgmental source of venting for my male friends and I've found that basically everyone who I'm like that with ends up either thinking I'm into them romantically, or expressing how grateful they are for something they get so little of. Guys are told to just suck it up and push their emotions down, and I think it is harmful to all of us.
I'm A Parent Too, In My Own Right
I was a stay-at-home dad until my daughter went to kindergarten.
I've been accused of being a child predator while reading a book on a park bench while my daughter plays, have had the cops called on me when my daughter and I were just walking down the street 2 blocks from my own home, and have been generally looked down on even by family members while I was a stay-at-home parent. The "giving mom a day off" line is just emotionally crushing sometimes when it's said.
Maybe Gendering Things Isn't The Way To Go
Having an even harsher reaction when I'd go against gender roles.
I mean as a woman, there's backlash sometimes, but there's a whole movement very publicized that tells me that I can do whatever I want, and f*ck the nay-sayer.
I don't feel a man that would want to do something "for girls" or "for woman" as that much support.
Even Women Can Uphold The Patriarchy
Probably being forced to never... well, feel. There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.
Gender Roles And Then Gender Rolls
Being expected to be the "breadwinner" generally by society
Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation
Being "disposable" in times of war
DIY.
And... Having to deal with my own balls. What if I sat on one. Ouch.
Gay Has Nothing To Do With These Things
I think the "gay panic" stuff would be the most annoying. Guys can't make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I'd probably be afraid to do that.
Why Is It Feminine To Be Healthy?
Depends on the situation of course but I have seem some real sh*tty expectations of what a "real man" should and should not do. Granted it's gotten better, but in some circles it's still real bad. I remember being 20 years old and a bunch of us were trying to convince our guy friend not to go out and get into a fight with some dude that would clearly kick his *ss.
My friend broke down and said he had to, dude messed with his older brother (his brother was a shady mf so who knows who messed with who first) and if he didn't step up and "defend" his family, he wouldn't be much of a man. This guy wasn't breaking into his house or anything, it was just over some disrespect bull sh*t between the guy and our friend's brother. That sh*t is f*cked.
Also being overweight and out of shape for a dude is pretty much embraced where I am from, if you try to get fit or even be healthy people are going to call you gay. Even women are going to call you gay. It's mad toxic, just the tip of the iceberg but living your life 40-50 lbs overweight does a lot of damage over time and that sucks.
More Than Numbers
Giphy
To have my occupation be the answer to what my value is. People have asked me so many times "oh so what does your husband do?" Like that's the only thing he's good for. Yes, my husband has a STEM career and he's done well but guess what? He's smart, kind, a great husband, amazing father, super handy, a great cook, handsome AF, had a great pair of legs, can put up with me, and he's my partner in life. All of that plus 10,000 other things makes him who he is not just his occupation or his salary.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
GiphyThe video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
Partner Preference
Giphy"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
Herding Cats
Giphy"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
Wretched Existence
Giphy"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
One Hour
Giphy"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" Exercise
Giphy"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
Vicious Predators
Giphy"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic Princess
Giphy"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
Shoe-nanigans
Giphy"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
Want to "know" more?
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.